Full Circle
by WynterC
Summary: Bella and Edward have defeated Victoria and wedding plans are in motion. Unfortunately, an unforeseen accident causes Bella to put her life on hold and the problems keep coming month after month.
1. Chapter 1 December

_**FULL CIRCLE**_

By WynterC

**Author's Notes: **This takes place after the battle with Victoria in _Eclipse_. My intention is to each month publish a story in this series, taking the reader through a year. There will be some months that will be written from a different POV that I will indicate in the beginning. I hope everyone will enjoy.

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

Chapter 1

**December**

**BPOV**

I woke up to find the ground covered in snow. The sunless days had become more frequent making me want to stay in bed. The only reason I got up was because Alice was going to pick me up in less than an hour to go Christmas shopping.

I had counted myself lucky on being able to avoid such events since knowing the Cullens. Alice and her damn visions. She had seen me going shopping without her last week, and quickly came to the house to stop me as I was leaving. She begged for me to wait and go with her, claiming I was making all the wrong choices for my gifts. With Christmas only a week away, I couldn't put the task off any longer.

I threw on some clothes and stomped down the stairs, cursing myself for being such a pushover.

"Dad, what are you doing?" I walked in the kitchen to find Charlie on a chair hanging Christmas ornaments on the curtain rod above the sink.

"I'm trying to make this house look a little more festive," he replied, ignoring my scrutinizing gaze.

Charlie was under strict doctor orders to relax for the next several months. Over the summer, he had responded to a call of suspicious activity at one of the businesses in town. When he arrived, there were a couple of guys from California trying to break into the store. They were armed and opened fire on Chief Swan. He received three gunshot wounds: One to the hip, one to the shoulder, one to the heart. Luckily, Dr. Cullen was able to keep him alive until the hospital could fly him to Seattle where a cardiac specialist was waiting. The specialist said if Charlie's heart hadn't been so strong, he would have never made it through the surgery.

He accepted early retirement, but wasn't happy with it. He walks with a limp now, and has difficulty moving his left arm. The physical therapist said it could take a year, if not more, for him to fully recover from such a tragic accident. Not only is it the physical wounds he has to recover from, but the mental ones as well. He blames himself for being too relaxed on the job; allowing himself to get shot. Everyday, he calls the office to see if they caught the culprits, and everyday the answer is no. I would like to tell him they no longer existed, but to do that would incriminate the Cullens.

I was at their house when Alice got the vision of Charlie dying. Carlisle ran to his rescue taking only Rosalie and Esme to help him. No doubt the large amount of blood that was spilt was the reason behind Carlisle's decision. Edward, Alice, and Jasper stayed by my side, and took me to the hospital to wait for Charlie. Edward held my hand, Alice gave me updates on his condition, and Jasper kept me calm.

All Edward had to do was get close enough to Charlie to read his mind and see who shot him. Edward, Emmett, and Jasper passed judgment on the suspects, while Esme and I flew to Seattle to be with Charlie.

"I could have done that. All you have to do is ask," I said grabbing the chair.

"You do too much as it is." Charlie took my hand and eased himself to the floor. It made me worry to see how much he had aged in the past five months.

"If you push yourself too much, you're going to be worse off," I warned him.

He sat down at the table. "I'm sorry. I just feel so useless," he said putting his head in his hands.

"Nonsense. You keep me company."

"Which I shouldn't have to do. You should have gone ahead with your wedding plans, Bells. You should have gone ahead with your life. This isn't being fair to you."

My life was a sore subject. Charlie got shot two weeks before I was supposed to have married Edward. A month before I was supposed to have become a vampire. Edward completely understood my wanting to postpone the wedding when Charlie was hanging on to life by a thread. Edward didn't understand when I broke-up with him all together.

Once again, I placed my parents needs before my own desires. Charlie asked very little from me: Graduate high school, which I did, and obey the law. He needed someone to be with him and help him until he could get back on his feet. I couldn't take care of him if I was struggling with the craving for blood. His rehabilitation was going to be a long journey, and it didn't feel right to drag Edward along on a string. I didn't know when I would be able, if I would ever be able, to set a definite wedding date.

What really annoyed Edward and Charlie, was when I cancelled my college plans. The money wasn't there and I wasn't going to take the Cullens offer to pay. They had already been too generous in helping with Charlie's medical bills. I decided to hold off on going to college and took a job working in the cafeteria at school. Not a glamorous job, but it paid well and the hours were great.

"Dad, you aren't the reason Edward and I broke up. How many times do I have to tell you that? Promise me, you won't do anything while I'm gone. I would like to enjoy my time out, without having to worry about you falling off of chairs or ladders."

"Sure."

There were three quick knocks on the front door, and I yelled for Alice to come in. She skipped into the kitchen and lightly planted a kiss on Charlie's cheek.

"Good God, it must be freezing out there," Charlie shuddered.

Alice winked at me, "Don't you love it?"

"What is your family planning for Christmas?" Charlie asked, motioning for her to sit.

"Mom and Dad are staying with some friends in Alaska. It's not often Dad gets off from the hospital, and there were some -- complaints -- about their friends coming here, so they're going there. Rosalie and Emmett left this morning to fly to Paris for Christmas. The rest of us are staying home. Would you like to come and spend Christmas Eve with us?" Alice batted her eyelashes at Charlie.

"I think I'm going to stay home. This cold weather make my joints ache." Charlie gave an apologetic grin. "Bella should be free. No reason she can't spend Christmas Eve with you guys."

Alice beamed her bright teeth at me.

"Dad, how do you know I don't already have plans?"

"Oh please, Bella." Alice rolled her eyes. "Sipping hot coco while reading a book doesn't count. You can do that anytime."

"It just so happens, the Blacks have asked Dad and me to their house Christmas Eve, and I've already accepted their invitation."

"Billy hasn't mentioned it to me," Charlie said.

"Jacob asked me a few days ago. I didn't figure you would object."

"No, that's fine." Charlie turned to Alice, who had started pouting, "Why don't you and your brothers join us there?"

"At La Push?" Alice asked in shock.

"I know they aren't overly friendly toward you guys, but can't we be willing to put differences aside? It's Christmas, for Pete's sake."

Alice threw me a glance that caused my breath to catch in my throat. "I'll ask Jasper and Edward, but you better clear it with the Blacks first. Their rules." Alice jumped up from the table and headed towards the door. "Don't wait up for us Charlie. If you need anything, Edward said to call him."

I grabbed my bag and followed Alice to her yellow Porsche. She was out of the drive and down the road before I had time to secure my seatbelt.

"Well, that's a fine mess you've gotten us into." Alice took a sharp turn that slammed me into the passenger door.

"What?"

"Can you see us opening presents with that pack of dogs?" Alice's laughter rang like a bell.

"I'm sure if Charlie understood the reasoning behind the hatred you all share, he wouldn't have suggested it," I bit back. The myths had been correct: Vampires and werewolves didn't get along.

"Bella, Bella, Bella." A slow mischievous smile spread across Alice's face. "You're getting brave in your _old _age."

That was a low blow. Alice knew how delicate the topic of age was. I was acutely aware that I was now nineteen years old; two years older than Edward.

"Take me back home," I demanded.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I'll behave from here on out, I promise." Alice crossed her heart with her index finger and held her pinky out towards me to swear on it. I couldn't stay mad at her for very long and grabbed her pinky with mine.

With Alice driving, the trip to Seattle took less than an hour. I had gotten used to the Cullens driving habits, among other things they did. The mall was crowded with several holiday shoppers. We walked into the main entrance and Alice beamed with excitement.

"Let the fun begin," she jubilantly announced. I moaned as she locked arms with me, and pulled me towards the multitude of people.

We started in one of the most expensive stores in the mall. Alice was adamant that I should get everyone, except Jacob, a trendy outfit. However, personal gifts were more my style, so I disagreed with her. Why Alice wanted clothes for her and Rosalie was preposterous. They had clothes in their closet with price tags still on them.

"Why don't we go our separate ways and meet back at the food court in three hours?" I pleaded, not wanting to see Alice's disapproving frown at every item I picked up.

"I'm here to help you, Bella," she explained as if I was a child. "It doesn't make sense to split up."

"I don't want to get clothes for everyone, Alice. If the gift is from me, it should be my idea, not yours."

Alice fumed, staring at me for a few moments.

"Okay, okay," she moaned. "But trust me when I say you have no taste. Will you at least let me pick out what I want you to get me?"

"No. If I buy something hideous -- like it anyway. It's the thought that counts. And don't be peeking." I warned referring to her visions.

Alice glared at me. "Fine. Three hours," she growled and stormed off into Victoria's Secret.

I walked the isles of the mall, set out to find the perfect gift for the loved ones on my list. I took out the tightly folded piece of paper and pondered on how to spread five hundred dollars among thirteen people.

The gifts for Billy and Sue were from Charlie. I managed to find a new hat for Billy, and got Sue a small turquoise jewelry box along with a pair of earrings. I picked up a new video game for Emmett. For Carlisle, I found a painting of a man gently tending to a small girl. Esme's gift was wooden wind chimes to hang in her garden. I bought Jasper a pocket watch with the rebel flag on the front and got Rosalie some candles. I giggled at the register when I bought the movie _Confessions of a Shopaholic _for Alice. I also bought her a plaque that had a poem about sisters and two girls holding hands. Renee's mother figurine, and Phil's _World Series _book, would be sent by air.

There were only three more people I had to buy for. The three most important people in my life. I ended up getting Charlie a hunting game that plugs into the television. Since he wasn't able to get out and hunt, I thought it would be nice to bring hunting to him. I came across an old, sterling silver wolf ring that reminded me of Jacob, so I bought it. I was at a loss on what to get Edward. I laughed to myself at the thought of going to a blood bank and having them give me a bag of my own blood to give as a Christmas gift. I settled on something little less personal; a CD of Frank Sinatra's best collection.

Alice was waiting on me in the food court with an untouched frappuccino sitting in front of her.

"Did you have fun all by yourself?" she asked, obviously still upset not being able to watch my every move.

I sat down and bit into my slice of pizza. "It wasn't that I didn't want you around, Alice, I just wanted to be able to pick out my own gifts."

Alice waited for me to have my gifts wrapped. During Christmas, the mall offered to wrap gifts for a donation fee only. I put in the remainder of what money I had left in the donation canister. After the gifts were wrapped, we grabbed our bags and headed back to Forks.

My heart dropped to my stomach when we pulled up to the house and the silver Volvo was sitting in the front yard. I bolted out of the car and ran inside to see what was wrong with Charlie. When I flung the door open, Edward and Charlie turned from the football game that was on and stared at me. Edward was immediately at my side.

"What's wrong?" he asked, grabbing my shoulders.

"Nothing. What's wrong here?" I responded trying to get my emotions under control. My heart was already pounding from the fear of thinking something had happened to Charlie. Being so close to Edward only it pound that much harder.

"Bells," Charlie called from his recliner, turning his attention back to the game, "I wish you would stop worrying about me. Edward brought over some food, and no doubt to keep an eye on me while you were gone."

Edward relaxed his grip on me, backed away, and sighed a relief when he realized I was fine. It frustrated him not being able to read my mind.

"How was your shopping trip?" His smile was irresistibly devastating.

"Exhausting," I replied, turning my eyes away from his gaze.

"Don't expect a fabulous gift from her," Alice chimed in as she sat down on the couch. "She refused to let me help."

Edward ignored his sister. "Sit down and rest. I'll bring your bags in." He headed towards the door and I followed him outside.

"Thanks for bringing Charlie something to eat. I was going to fix dinner when I got home."

He grinned over at me, grabbing the bags out of the Porsche. "I figured you would be dead on your feet by the time you got back from shopping with Alice."

"You don't have to keep doing this, Edward." He quirked his eyebrow questioningly. "I don't want you to feel like you still have to rescue me. Charlie is my concern, not yours."

"We're still friends, right?" I nodded my head to his question. "It's been a long time since I was human, but if I remember correctly, friends help friends."

"You're always helping me, Edward. I'm at a disadvantage here."

"Consider it returning a favor. You took Alice shopping so Jasper and I wouldn't have to. I brought Charlie food so you wouldn't have to cook." Even though I was sure he was appeasing me, I considered his excuse and determined it was an even trade.

"I really am thankful," I said as we walked back in the house.

Edward placed the bags down by the tree, and I knelt down to place them underneath attempting to get into the Christmas spirit.

"Bella," Alice said standing up, "thanks for a wonderful time. I need to head to the house and get my gifts under our tree." She gave Charlie and me a hug before she left.

"I guess I need to be on my way also." Edward looked at me hesitantly.

"Thanks for the company, Edward." Charlie smiled at him. Since his accident, Charlie seemed more appreciative of Edward and his family. "Anytime you want to come by, come. You don't have to get permission." Charlie looked at me and gave a quick nod towards Edward.

I sighed. "Yes, Edward -- anytime."

After they left, I went upstairs to take a long, hot bath and relax. I didn't know how much longer my charade with Edward could last. I had been without him before and the memories of the pain I felt then were still fresh. I took the time to look deep inside myself. Maybe I was using Charlie as an excuse not to marry him. Maybe, somewhere deep inside, I wanted to keep my humanity.

When I finished, I joined Charlie in the living room.

"Alice walk you to death?" Charlie grinned over at me.

"It wasn't too bad. I went my way and she went hers."

"I called Billy Black today about Christmas Eve." I gave a low chuckle imagining Billy's face when Charlie asked if the Cullens could join the Christmas dinner. "I explained to him that it was only going to be three of the Cullens since the rest were out of town."

"And?" I urged Charlie when he got side tracked, mesmerized in the game again.

"He said there could be some complications if they came." Charlie shook his head, "I just don't understand what some of those people have against them. Billy said he didn't mind, but that it might offend some of the others."

"Don't worry about it Dad," I said trying to ease his mind. "I doubt the Cullens would accept even if the invitation was open."

"I expected Billy to stand up for them. After Dr. Cullen helped Jacob with his injuries over the summer, then with mine. …"

"Dad, I'll invite them over for Christmas Day. It'll be fine."

The next few days flew by. I stayed busy, putting in extra hours at the library for the holiday season. I worked there every Friday night and Saturday morning. I decided to volunteer for extra hours for the holidays to keep my mind off the lack of Christmas joy I felt.

Christmas Eve, I was awakened to the sound of Christmas music blaring through the house. I put my robe on over my pajamas, and went downstairs where Charlie was bustling around in the kitchen.

"Did I wake you?" he asked smiling.

"No, the music did." I moped to the fridge for the milk carton. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to make a cheese ball." I laughed at the mess on the kitchen counter. "I said trying."

I sat at the table with my bowl of cereal, and watched Charlie attempt to make his cheese ball.

"No ones going to eat that, you know." I grinned as Charlie slowly turned around with an agitated look on his face.

"Them boys down at La Push will eat just about anything."

I was able to get a few chores done before it was time to gather the gifts and head to La Push. Despite the cold weather, the guys were outside playing football when we pulled up to the Clearwaters. Jacob ran over and helped carry in the gifts.

"Your friends aren't upset they weren't welcomed, are they?" Jacob asked once we got inside.

"No, they wouldn't have come if they had been invited. Their feelings are mutual," I replied feeling the need to defend the Cullens.

"Sure, sure."

_A Christmas Story _was blaring on the television. The adults were gathered in the kitchen sharing their tales of Christmas's past. The smell of food floated through the house.

"The gift you got me -- is it something I can open in front of everyone, or should I open it in private?" Jacob asked grinning ear to ear.

"I won't be embarrassed if you open it in front of everyone if that's what you're implying."

"Are you going to spend Christmas Day with the bloodsuckers?" I shot Jacob a warning glance. "Sorry, I meant to say Cullens."

"You said what you meant to say. And yes, I'll be seeing them tomorrow. Alice said they are going to come to our house. Something about Charlie's gift."

"Humph. Figures they'd try to kiss up to your old man. They probably bought him some expensive, one of a kind gift." Jacob's displeasure for the Cullens was genuine. Even if they weren't vampires and he a werewolf, they wouldn't get along. Maybe if I was out of the equation. …

"Jacob," Sue called from the kitchen, "tell everyone it's time to eat."

There was no need for a heater or a fire with the wolf pack crammed in the small house. Sue Clearwater had not been skimpy on the food. There was enough to feed an entire army -- or seven werewolves. Everyone piled their plates up high; stuffing their mouths before they sat down. I sat next to Seth at the old table they set up for the younger ones. There were several conversations going on at once and laughter rang throughout the house.

"You going to see Edward tomorrow?" Seth asked with a mouth full of mashed potatoes.

"I think so, why?"

"I have a gift for him in my room. Will you give it to him?"

"Sure."

Seth and Edward had become friends over the summer, thanks to Victoria's attempt to kill me. Seth was the only one in the pack that Edward could tolerate, and Seth was the only one that didn't have a problem with the Cullens.

"Who brought the cheese ball?" Quil asked turning his nose up.

"Dad made it," I replied. Quil gave a slow, understanding nod before cramming the rest that was on his plate in his mouth.

After everyone made sure there were no leftovers, we piled into the den and gathered around the Christmas tree to open gifts. They allowed Charlie the honor of playing Santa -- handing out the gifts. I hung around near the back, leaning against the wall with Jacob standing next to me.

"To Jacob from Bella," Charlie yelled over the sound of ripping paper. He threw Jacob the small box and continued his job, picking up another present from under the tree.

Jacob shook his gift, smiling. "Wonder what this could be?"

"Open it and find out," I said anxiously waiting to see his reaction.

He tore the paper off and opened the small gift box.

"If it doesn't fit, I'll take it to a jeweler and have it fixed," I said as his big fingers held the small, sterling silver ring. He placed it on his left ring finger and held it up for me to see.

"Fits perfectly -- sort of like us." Jacob's dark eyes gleamed with enjoyment. "Thank you." He leaned forward, his lips closing in on mine.

"To Bella from Jacob," Charlie yelled, giving me a reason to step away from Jacob.

"Better let me get that," Jacob said. "It might be too heavy for you." He crossed the room and took the large package from Charlie, placing it in front of me on the floor. "I've been wanting to give this to you, but I know how you don't like gifts."

Jacob's voice trailed off as I knelt down and slowly started to unwrap the gift. I opened the box and pulled out a shiny red motorcycle helmet. Underneath it was a black leather biker jacket.

"You really shouldn't have," I said trying on the jacket. "Charlie is going to blow a gasket." I smiled up at Jacob as I slipped the helmet on. "How do I look?"

"Like a hot biker chick. Now there is no excuse for you not to ride with me."

"As soon as the roads clear, I promise to go on a bike ride with you." I glanced over at Charlie who was frowning in my direction, not liking the gift Jacob had given me. "Charlie's mad at you."

Jacob looked over at him. "If this is going to get me some quality time alone with you, I'll live with Charlie's dislike."

Since my broken engagement with Edward, I didn't spend much time with him or Jacob. My days were filled with work and Charlie. The thought of being on an open road with Jacob, having the wind blow through my hair, brought a thrilling sensation.

"Thank you." I wrapped my arms around Jacobs waist to give him a hug. He gathered me into his large arms, holding me snugly. His body was so warm -- I closed my eyes, resting my head against his chest.

"Jacob, do you mind helping me carry this to the car?" Charlie asked interrupting our embrace.

"Sure, sure." Jacob sighed releasing his hold, and helped Charlie take his new hunting boots and rod and reel to the car, along with my helmet and jacket.

Jacob and I stood by the car, waiting for Charlie to say his goodbyes. Up and down the road, houses were lit up with Christmas lights. I leaned against the car, bundled up in my jacket, while Jacob stood in front of me only wearing a t-shirt.

"What are you doing for New Years?" Jacob asked.

"Probably watch the ball drop in New York from inside a warm house. You?"

"We're planning on doing some fireworks and having a party on the beach. Why don't you join us? You can be my date." Jacob smiled down at me.

"It's going to be a difficult time for Charlie," I said, averting his gaze.

"Bring Charlie. He can watch the ball drop with my dad and some of the other adults."

"I'll see."

"You've never seen anything more beautiful than fireworks over the ocean. Well, I lied," Jacob said as he took a step closer to me, "you see something more beautiful every time you look in a mirror." He reached in his pocket and pulled out a mistletoe. He dangled it over my head. "Merry Christmas, Bella."

"Merry Christmas, Jacob."

Jacob bent down. His warm lips tenderly touched my cold ones. He placed one of his hands on my waist and pulled me towards him. The sound of the screen door slamming in the background, rattled my senses and I gently removed myself from his warm embrace.

"Bella, Bella." Seth yelled running out to the car. "Don't forget this." He handed me a Christmas gift bag. "It's not much, but I'm pretty sure he'll like it."

"What is it?" Jacob asked trying to take the bag out of my hand.

"It's Edward's," Seth warned.

Jacob rolled his eyes, "Oh, please. What time are they suppose to be making an appearance at your house tomorrow? I might just show up with some gifts of my own."

"I don't know when they're coming, but I don't want any trouble."

"Thanks, Bella," Seth said as he turned around and ran back towards the house.

"What did you get him?" Jacob asked in a nonchalant tone as he looked at his new ring.

"A CD."

A grin spread across Jacob's face.

"Sorry it took me so long. Billy and I were talking about plans to use my new rod and reel in the spring." Charlie slowly sat down on the passenger side of the car.

"Bye. Thanks for the helmet and jacket." Jacob opened the door for me to get in.

"Bye. See you tomorrow," Jacob said slamming the door shut. He took off before I had a chance to protest.

"Jacob coming tomorrow too?" Charlie asked as I pulled away from the house.

"He was just trying to get under my skin." I hoped Jacob wasn't being serious.

We got home and I carried in my gift and Charlie's boots, and he carried his new fishing toy. We each said goodnight, and headed off to bed. I was thankful that I didn't have to spend all day in the kitchen preparing for the Cullens visit tomorrow.

I dragged myself out of bed Christmas Day, hoping to be able to make it through the day without any glitches. I showered and straitened the house, awaiting the arrival of our guests. Charlie was seated in his recliner in front of the television.

"Dad, why don't we go ahead and exchange our gifts while we're waiting?"

Charlie agreed and I handed him his gift while I grabbed my card off the mantle.

"I know you hate gifts, and I'm not a great shopper. I figured a gift card would be the easiest thing to do," Charlie explained as I opened the card.

"It's perfect. Thanks, Dad."

Charlie opened his and laughed. "I can put on my new hunting boots while I play this thing and it will be just like I'm really hunting, huh?"

"That was the idea."

I fixed us a couple of steaks with baked potatoes for our Christmas dinner. Charlie was asleep in his recliner, and I was cleaning up the kitchen when the carbon black metallic H3 Alpha pulled up in the front yard.

"Whose vehicle is that?" I asked Alice as I greeted her at the door.

"I don't know. I think it belongs to all of us." She kissed me lightly on the cheek and walked in the house with ten Christmas gift bags.

"Who all did you buy for?"

"Oh, these are yours," she said smiling and placing them under the tree. "Charlie, we're here."

Charlie jolted awake. "Sorry, I must have dozed off. Where are the boys?"

Just then, Edward and Jasper came walking through the front door, to my horror, carrying more bags.

"Merry Christmas," Charlie said raising up and offering them each his hand. "I would offer you something to eat, but Bella said you were going to eat before you came over."

Jasper smiled over at me. "Yes, sir."

"Alright, Jasper." Edward turned and eyed the television. "We have to move this out of the way."

Jasper got on one side of the television and Edward on the other. They picked it up and started towards the front door.

"Where are you taking my television," Charlie yelled, eyes wide in surprise.

"Don't worry, Charlie," Alice assured him. "They're going to bring one back."

Not long after they left with the old television, they came back inside with a 55" flat screen television.

"What the hell?" Charlie sat back in his chair speechless while Edward and Jasper set up his new gift.

"Hope you don't mind," Edward said stepping back to admire the big picture on the screen. "That smaller one you had was making my eyes go bad. A technician will be here next week to install your satellite."

"Edward," I said, "we need to talk about this before you have him hook it up."

"Don't worry about the fee. Carlisle is going to put on his bill."

I stood staring dumbfounded at his smiling face.

"Edward, I can't accept that." Charlie continued to stare and drool at the television. "Getting me this TV is too much as it is, but paying for my monthly bill -- I won't let you do it."

"Charlie, please," Edward's gleaming topaz eyes turned to Charlie. "My family wants to do this for you. We wouldn't be paying for another whole account. It will just be a few extra dollars a month. But if you were paying for it, you would be paying close to eighty bucks extra. It's a deal we were able to get with the satellite company."

Charlie glanced uncertainly towards Alice who offered him a smile. "If it's a good deal, but I'm going to pay you the difference." Edward gave a short nod and sat down on the couch next to Alice.

"Bella, you want to pass them their gifts?" Charlie asked unable to take his eyes off his new Christmas gift.

I walked over to the tree and dug behind all their Christmas bags to find their small gifts. I handed Jasper his first and he patiently waited for me to give Alice and Edward theirs before they opened them together. Alice giggled when she saw the movie I had got her. Then she was speechless when she read the sister plaque. Jasper thanked me for the rebel pocket watch and placed it in the inside pocket of his wool jacket.

Edward opened his gift and smiled. "I love to listen to Ole' Blue Eyes sing."

"You're a little too young to like his music, aren't you?" Charlie asked taking the CD from him and looking at the songs.

"You're never too old for truly great talent," Edward answered.

"Your turn, Bella." Alice jumped up and sat me down on the couch between Edward and Jasper. "Five of the bags are from me, then there are three from Carlisle and Esme, one from Emmett, three from Rosalie, two from Jasper, and two from Edward."

"I can't take all of those."

"It's Christmas," Alice argued.

"Alice --"

"Bella." Her fierce eyes bore into mine.

"Jasper, you hunt?" Charlie asked, his voice strained.

"Yes, sir."

Charlie reached down and handed over his hunting game I bought him. "Bella got me this for Christmas. How about hooking it up to the fancy TV and let us play a couple of games." Jasper got up and did as Charlie requested.

I jumped up off the couch and went outside for some fresh air with Edward following right behind me.

"You had no right to buy such an expensive gift for Charlie without talking to me about it first." I whirled around to face him, my words hot with anger.

Edward looked baffled. "Why should we have to ask you if we can buy your father a gift?"

I felt restless and irritable. "A very large, expensive gift for a man that happens to be your ex-fiancé's father," I explained, my tone sharp and short.

"I didn't think you would mind. I guess we can take it back. I'm sorry if we upset you."

I shook my head wearily, some of my anger resending. "No, he looked like a toddler on -- Christmas morning. Just because I don't like it doesn't mean he should suffer for it. I just wished you would quit treating us like a charity case. It's embarrassing."

"Embarrassing?"

"With all those clothes. I work in a cafeteria, when and where am I going to wear all those clothes?"

"Bella, Alice loves to shop." A small smile played at the corner of his lips. "She's always buying us clothes. What do you think she got us for Christmas?"

"What about the bags from everyone else?"

"Alice put our names on the gifts. She bought it all -- except this." He pulled an envelope out of his jacket pocket. "This is from me -- personally."

I paused before reaching out and taking the envelope from his pale hand. Cautiously, I opened it and pulled out two tickets for a Caribbean Cruise.

"What's this?"

"I thought you would enjoy taking a week off to do nothing but relax. After the hard winter we're expecting, a cruise in the sun should be welcoming."

I looked at the tickets. There was no date posted on them, all I had to do was call and make arrangements when I planned on going. The last time I went on a vacation was when Edward and I visited Renee in Jacksonville my senior spring break. Edward had to stay indoors during the daytime because of the sun.

"Who does the second ticket belong to?"

He answered me in a smooth tone. "Whomever you wish for it to belong to."

"So, if I took Charlie, you wouldn't mind?" He smiled and shook his head no. I knew I shouldn't have, but I tested the waters with Edward a little further. "What if I decided to take Jacob Black?"

His smile vanished and was quickly replaced with a frown. "I would prefer you didn't take him."

"But its my tickets."

"Yes, they are," Edward said through clenched teeth. He closed his eyes and took a breath, "If you wish to give the second ticket to Jacob, that would be fine also." There was silence between us as the snow continued to lightly fall to the ground. "What did he get you for Christmas?"

"Clothes," I whispered. Edward disliked my motorcycle riding as much as Charlie. I glanced up at him to find him staring at me with an amused look on his face. "What?"

"Clothes?" Suddenly, his eyes lost their amusement and the grin froze on his face. "What _kind _of clothes?" he asked hesitantly.

"A helmet and biker jacket," I said firmly.

Edward's eyes flashed with outrage. "Why did he get you something so -- senseless?"

"We're going to take a bike trip as soon as the weather clears up," I said lifting my chin and meeting his icy gaze.

"Does Charlie know about this?"

"Not yet. Are you going to run in there and tell him?"

"I'm not a tattletale like Jacob Black," he responded cold and challenging.

"No, you're just a control freak," I mumbled bitterly back at him.

"Forgive me if I don't want you getting hurt."

"What do you want to do, Edward? Roll me up in bubble wrap and store me safely away in a padded room?" His eyes quickly shifted away from my glare. "Oh my God," I whispered as reality sank in. "That is exactly what you would do."

"Don't be ridiculous, Bella." The edge he had in his tone earlier was gone. He rolled his eyes and scoffed at my accusation. "How many times have I encouraged you to live a full life?"

"Sure, sure. You want me to experience all of life's stepping stones, as long as I am under your watchful eye."

My comment caused a pained look on Edward's face.

"Can't you understand why I am so protective of you?" Edward pleaded. His cold fingers lightly brushed against my cheek sending a jolt of electricity to my heart. Reluctantly, I turned away from his touch.

"I'm not your responsibility anymore." I couldn't look him in the eye. I would lose all courage if I had any contact with him at all. "I think we need a break from seeing each other. I hoped we could be normal friends, but it isn't working out." If it hadn't been for the northern winds freezing my body in place, I would've collapsed.

"I understand," Edward said in his smooth, velvety voice. "Is it just -- me -- you don't want to see, or the whole family?"

"I think a break from the whole family, for now, is what is best." I stared off into the dead forest, resisting the rise of hysteria that was threatening to overtake me. Edward had used the words -- "clean break" -- when he abandoned me a little over a year ago. Now, here I was freely walking away from my life.

"We better get inside before you turn into a popsicle."

Edward held the door open for me as we walked in the living room to join the others. Jasper was still playing the hunting game with Charlie. My eyes darted around the room looking for Alice.

"Alice," Edward said just above a whisper, "we need to leave."

Alice came skipping downstairs with an arm full of empty Christmas bags.

"I hope you don't mind, but I rearranged your closet," Alice said.

I sighed and shook my head. "I don't guess I have a choice now, do I?"

Alice's bright eyes quickly glanced from my face, to Edward's, then back to mine. "Are you two okay? It's Christmas. Why the gloomy face? You worked things out, right?" her voice sounding shrilled and panicked.

"Alice," Edward started, "we are going to take a break from each other." I watched as Alice's eyes widened with alarm. "Yes, all of us," Edward answered her telepathic question.

"Is it me?" Alice asked grabbing my hands with her stone ones. "I'll take all the clothes back and I promise I'll stop."

"Alice, it's not just you." I pulled my hands from her grip and wrapped my arms around myself. "I just feel like I need a break. This isn't forever."

"I don't know that," Alice said with bitterness in her tone. "Because of some of the _people, _you hang out with, my visions aren't as clear as they used to be."

"My decision doesn't need a psychic reading. I just need a few months of _me _time. I haven't had that since Italy." I could feel Edward's body stiffen next to me.

"You almost beat me, Jasper." Charlie got to his feet and turned off his new game. "We'll have to really go hunting next year when I'm able to walk better."

"Yes, sir," Jasper replied.

"Well guys," Charlie said as he joined us at the foot of the stairs, "this has been fun, but I'm afraid this medicine I take makes me a little groggy. I have to go lay down, but you can stay as long as you want."

"We need to be leaving." Edward held his hand out to Charlie.

"Feels like you stayed outside too long," Charlie said as he shook Edward's hand. He leaned down and gave Alice a hug. "Thanks for the gift. I'll be sure to send Dr. Cullen the difference in the satellite payment. Tell your parents I hope they had a merry Christmas and maybe they can join us next year."

"Merry Christmas," all the Cullens said in unison.

Alice grabbed Jasper by the arm and led him to the door. Edward was behind them with me tagging along. My inner self was pleading with me not to let them leave. _If they walk out this door, you're not guaranteed they will ever be back,_ the voice insisted.

"Bella, Merry Christmas. I'll watch the movie tonight and find a special place for my plaque." Alice gave me a hug then got in the back of the Hummer.

"Merry Christmas, Bella," Jasper said offering a smile and joined Alice in the backseat.

"Thank you for the CD." Edward stared at me, his eyes the shade of ancient amber. "Please, be careful. I'll always love --"

"Don't," I said quickly cutting him off. "I'm going to move on. You need to do the same." I couldn't stop him from hearing my heart beating heavily, rebuking my words. If he had heard my thoughts screaming for him not leave -- to love me forever just as I would always love him, he would have laughed at my outward display of stubbornness. But he couldn't read my thoughts.

"Merry Christmas."

There was no kiss goodbye; no one last touch. Edward turned and started walking towards the Hummer as I stood frozen, fighting the overwhelming desire to be with him.

"Wait," I yelled as Edward opened the driver door. I ran inside and grabbed the thin, unopened gift from under the tree. "I forgot to give you this." I handed him the gift. "It's from Seth."

Edward's fingers gracefully opened the gift without ripping the paper. A smile replaced his frown.

"Tell Seth I said it was a lovely gift and I will definitely use it." He held in his hand a brown leather bonded journal. "His gift should be arriving in a day or so."

I took the paper from him and watched him as he pulled out of my yard and disappeared down the road. "It's not forever," I repeated in low whisper, encouraging myself not to go running after the Hummer.

I'm not sure how long I stood motionless in the snow. My body was frozen on the outside, as well as on the inside. The only thing that pulled me back to reality was the steady ringing of the phone. Somehow, I managed to break free from my hypnotic state, and went inside. My numb fingers wrapped around the receiver as I placed it to my ear.

"Bella?" I heard Phil's distressed voice at the other end of the line.

"Phil, what's …"

"It's Renee." His voice choked on saying my mother's name. My breathing became labored as I waited for Phil to continue. "We came to Colorado Springs to the ski resort to spend Christmas. I'm so sorry, it's all my fault," he wailed.

"What is your fault?" I asked, squeezing my eyes shut, not wanting to hear his answer.

"She was going too fast. I couldn't stop her," he continued to sob.

"How bad is it, Phil?"

There was silence as Phil tried to get his breathing under control. I anxiously awaited to hear the diagnosis of my mother's condition. _I guess I can bring her here and watch after her and Charlie. I've cancelled my life, why not,_ I thought as depression and stress washed over me.

"She's dead." I stood in the kitchen staring out the window in the dark night. There were no stars shining; the moon was covered with clouds. "Bella, Renee is dead."


	2. Chapter 2 January

**Chapter 2**

**January**

**Authors Notes: **Writing from Charlie's POV was challenging. I'm not a beer drinker, so I couldn't use that as inspiration. What was inspiring was watching _Twilight _again and observing Billy Burke's mannerisms (good excuse, right). I also used a plaid jacket sprayed with Stetson cologne, and a large cup of coffee.

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

**CPOV**

"We're not going to be gone any longer than we have to," I told Sue Clearwater on the phone. It had been a week since Renee had died. Phil had some complications getting her body sent back to Florida; apparently, Colorado laws were different. Now, I was going to be spending my New Years in the air and in Jacksonville. _What a way to start off a new year — at a funeral,_ I thought gloomily to myself.

"Is there anything I can do?" Sue asked in her loving tone. "You we're there for me and the kids when Harry died, there should be something …"

"That was different, Sue. Harry was one of my best friends, a devoted father, and a man that worshipped the ground you walked on. Renee is my ex from…Well, Bella is nineteen and Renee left me when she was a baby." Funny how the brain works. I could remember every word Renee said as she walked out the front door, but the concept of time slipped my mind. "I'm only going because of Bella. She refused to take Edward; I don't even think he knows about it. Jacob was packed and ready, but she got in an argument with him and now they aren't talking."

"What happened with Edward?"

I peeked out the window to make sure Bella wasn't home yet. "I don't know. Apparently it happened Christmas. I'm sure it had something to do with them buying me a new television. You and the kids should come over and see this TV."

"I wish Leah would be kinder to them. They got Seth one of the newest game systems." She lowered her voice, "He doesn't know it came from the Cullens. Edward didn't want him to know — thought it might make him feel uncomfortable. He got him some games for it, but he didn't want to tip Seth off and have the games get here before the system. The games should be arriving sometime next week. Poor Seth, he thinks Edward has forgotten about him. If Bella plays around, someone could come along and snatch this one up," she said referring to Edward's single status.

"What is it about kids? When you don't want them to be with someone, they want them. Then when you start to like them, they get tired of them."

I didn't think their relationship was going to last in the beginning. Bella ran to Phoenix to get away from Edward, and he followed. Then he and his family left, sending her into a deep depression, which thanks to Jacob Black she was able to pull through. All that went to hell when Alice Cullen showed up at the same time Harry Clearwater died. She took Bella off, only to God knows where, because there was some type of misunderstanding with Edward. My blood boiled seeing him walk up _my _driveway with _my _daughter in his arms. I planned on doing away with anything Cullen, but Bella threatened to move out if Edward wasn't welcomed.

Both of them forced me to accept their relationship when he asked for her hand in marriage. I didn't want to see Bella make the same mistake her mother and I made. I talked to Renee about whether we were making the right decision, allowing Bella to marry the guy. But, as Renee said, if we didn't agree she would marry him anyway. She said our daughter was as stubborn as her father. I half-heartedly went along with the whole crazy idea.

It was after I got shot that I came to appreciate the Cullens and bury the hatchet, so to speak. Edward was there for Bella and did anything he could to help out. I saw how much he loved her and had her best interest in mind. I was prepared to call him son when the rug was pulled out from under me. Bella not only broke off their engagement, but she broke-up with him altogether.

A car door slammed outside.

"She's back. I better go," I grumbled into the phone.

"Bye. Call me when you get back."

"Sure."

Bella came through the door with a grim look on her face.

"Can the weather get any worse?" She groaned as she hung up her jacket.

"You really want me to answer that?"

She cocked her brown eyes over at me, daring me to answer her question.

"Any word from Phil?" She walked past me and started pulling food from the refrigerator.

"No," I said as she busied herself at the counter, preparing supper. "Did you get the tickets?"

"Round trip. We leave around 2 a.m. New Years day with one stop-over in Dallas. I booked us a flight home for Monday."

"Monday? Is that going to be enough time?"

Her shoulders stiffened at my questioning. "Dad, school starts back on Tuesday. She's being cremated. How much time should it take?" Bella had argued with Phil about Renee being cremated. Phil complained it was what Renee had wanted, while Bella accused him of taking the easiest and cheapest way out.

"Okay." There was no point in arguing with her. I sat down in front of the TV to find the scores on the football games I missed.

After dinner, Bella finished cleaning the dishes and announced she was going to get her a shower, pack, and go to bed.

"I'm gonna call Edward and let him know we're going to be gone for a few days. Have you told him about Renee?"

Her eyes flashed at me. "I haven't talked to him. Why are you telling him we're leaving?"

"He should know in case the satellite man comes while we're gone," I explained returning her glare.

"Char — Dad," she said through clenched teeth, "it's a holiday weekend. The technician won't be coming until _after _the weekend."

"You said we won't be back until Monday. What if he comes Monday? If no one is here, then I will have to wait until God knows how long to get my satellite."

Bella took a deep breath. "I don't want the Cullens, especially Edward, to know about Renee."

"Bell, what's the big deal? If he knew, he might want to go to her funeral with you."

"Of course he would want to go to the funeral with me! That's why I don't want him to know," she yelled, throwing her hands wildly in the air. "I called it _all _off between us, Dad. It doesn't help if you want to call him up and tell him everything that's going on in my life. I know Edward; I know the Cullens. They will swoop down and try to fix everything. Sometimes things need to stay broken. I need to learn to handle things on my own again. I need to be able to know I can stand on my own two feet without him saving me before I have a chance to save myself." Bella's brown eyes were frantic. She slowed her breathing down and appeared less agitated. "I don't care if you let him know we're leaving and won't be back until Monday night. Just please, don't tell him why?"

"Sure."

She inclined her head in a small gesture of thanks and slowly depart up the stairs. I picked up the phone and dialed the Cullens.

"Hello." Edward answered before the first ring was completed.

"Edward, hey it's Charlie. I just wanted to let you know, Bells and I are leaving in the morning and won't be back until Monday. I didn't know when the satellite technician was coming, and thought I should let you know so you can tell him not to come until after Monday."

"I'll let him know. Where are you two going?"

"Uh…Florida."

"You taking her to see Renee?"

"Yeah."

"How are she and Phil doing?"

"What? Oh, um — okay, I guess. Look, I have to go pack. Thanks." I quickly hung up before he could ask anymore questions.

I climbed the stairs and paused outside the bathroom door. "I told him to let the technician know not to come until after Monday. I told him I was taking you to see Renee, but nothing else," I said to the door hoping Bella was listening.

"Okay," was the only response I got from her.

I entered my room and pulled out my old suitcase. I couldn't remember the last time I had used it. I put in some casual clothes to wear and placed my suit in the suit bag. The last time I wore it was to Harry Clearwater's funeral. I stared at the suit thinking how much had changed in a year: Harry's death, Bella graduating, her off-again-on-again-off-again relationship with Edward, my near death experience and early retirement, Sam and Emily's marriage, Paul and Rachel's marriage, Renee's death. It had been one hell of a year. I sank into the bed, dreading the plane ride tomorrow. Sitting crammed in like a sardine wasn't going to be pleasant on my joints.

Renee's smiling face crossed my mind. It was hard to believe she was dead. When Bella told me the news Christmas Day, I couldn't believe it. We had stayed cordial with each other for Bella's sake. When she walked out it left me with a broken heart and a sour taste in my mouth towards women. It would have been nice if she would've told me _before _I fell in love with her that she didn't want to live in Forks; that she felt trapped in my ho-hum life. But then I wouldn't have Bella. My beautiful, intelligent, and at times eccentric daughter.

I worried about where her life was heading. Before my accident, she had plans for a wedding and college. Now, she just hung around me, work, and the library. I didn't understand how my accident caused her and Edward to split. She continually told me I wasn't the reason for the breakup, but deep down, I knew she was lying. Normally, I tried to stay out of peoples lives, but I would eventually have to put her life back the way it was before my accident. She and Edward shouldn't have to pay for my stupidity.

Of all the years I worked in law enforcement, why, on that day, did I have to take the call so lightly? It was a question I had been asking myself for six months now. I still had nightmares of the shooting. Hearing that first shot and trying to take my gun out of the holster as shot after shot rang out. Feeling the pain first in my shoulder, then my hip, and lastly, a fire burning in my chest as the world around me went black. Hearing Dr. Cullen's voice clearly, telling me not to give up. There was something his daughter, Rosalie, said that confused me. I stared at the ceiling trying to concentrate, to remember what she had said.

"_Do you think she would have us change him, or let him go peacefully? She wants so badly for herself to be one, how would she feel if her father became one?" _

I rolled over and put her voice out of my head. There was so much going on that night I was sure I imagined the whole conversation. I fell asleep, going over the incident again (like I did every night) seeing where I went wrong, and what I should've done to prevent the unfortunate chain of events which followed.

I had been right; the plane ride was miserable. We had to rush when we landed in Dallas to catch the next flight to Jacksonville. Once there, we rented a compact foreign car and drove to our two double beds motel room. The traffic wasn't too bad considering it was a holiday and everything was closed. We made it to the motel room and unpacked. Bella took out one of her old books and read while I stretched out and took a much needed nap.

Renee's funeral was packed. The service wasn't very long, and afterwards people gathered in a large adjoining room where food was served. I sat in a corner with Bella and watched the people laugh and share their memories of Renee. The tension was tight between Phil and Bella. He introduced us to a few people. Bella was presented as Renee's only child who went to live with her father when Phil married Renee. I was introduced as Renee's first husband and their eyes seemed to click with something in their brain. The looks I received weren't very pleasant. _No telling what kind of lies Phil has told these people,_ I thought after about the third introduction.

Bella briefly spoke to Phil about going to his house tomorrow and picking up a few things of her mothers to take back to Forks with her. He didn't object and we politely, and quietly, excused ourselves from the festivities.

"How are you holding up?" I asked when we got back to our room.

"I'm okay. How are you doing?"

"I think I may still be in shock. It doesn't seem real." I sat down at the small table next to the window in the motel room. "Even though Renee and I rarley saw each other, just knowing she was there seemed good enough for me."

"Did she ever…confide in you when I moved to Forks on whether my decision hurt her or not?"

I looked at my pale, fragile daughter leaning against the off-white colored wall. Her brown eyes were red from tears I never saw her shed. I could either lie and make her feel good, or do as I knew she would want and be honest with her.

"She was worried that you may have felt like she cared more for Phil than she did for you. After you called asking if you could live with me, she called. She was upset that you didn't want to move to Florida with her. She thought she had done something wrong that made you make such a devastating decision. She hated Forks and couldn't imagine you liking it." I shook my head remembering when I had made a suggestion to Bella about moving away. She had grown to love the city more than I thought possible. "It upset her that you decided to stay, but she never questioned your love for her."

Bella slowly nodded her head. "I'm going for a walk. I've got my mace with me and I won't venture far. I just need some fresh air."

From the window, I watched her go down the stairs and disappear around the front of the building. I rarely knew what to say to her. That had been part of mine and Renee's problem when we got married. If the conversation didn't included sports, fishing, or hunting, I could find nothing to say. When Bella first came to live with me, I feared I would scare her away. There were many times we walked by each and never spoke a word. Dinner was silent and awkward, but as time passed we became comfortable with each other. However, there were still times, like now, when the silence was unbearable. I glanced over at the phone on the desk by the bed, and called the only person I knew who could help.

"Hello." Sue Clearwater's voice made me smile.

"Anything exciting happen?"

"Charlie," her voice seemed to brighten. "Is the funeral over with?"

"Yeah. Phil got all the 'you poor bastard' slaps on the back, while I got all the 'you bastard' stares."

She laughed softly. "How is Bella?"

I sighed and pondered on how to answer the question. "I don't know. She stays guarded — distant. She won't open up to me, she never has." Memories of when Edward left her replayed in my mind.

"When you two come home, I'll call her up and plan a day out with her."

"Thanks, Sue."

"What are the plans for tomorrow?"

"I'm going with Bella over to Phil's house so she can get some things of her mother's."

"I knew their relationship was strained before you guys left, how are things between them now?"

Phil had been welcoming to me, but Bella kept her distance from him. Words were said out of anger and hurt after Renee died that couldn't be forgotten or taken back.

"About the same. I hope he's fair with her request tomorrow. It would make it easier if he wasn't there, but I know that won't happen."

Sue and I continued to talk, changing the subject to her own daughter, Leah. Leah had anger management issues with a lot of the kids her age. It seemed like everyone tried to keep their distance from her, but they still included her in every event. She was the main reason that Sam and Emily Uley didn't make frequent visits to social gatherings.

Bella walked in while I was hanging up the phone.

"Who were you talking to?" she asked, her small hands balled up in fists her side.

"Sue. I wanted to let her know we were okay and would be home Monday."

Bella seemed to sigh a relief and eased down in a chair. "Everything back home okay?" She started playing with a quarter on the table.

"Nothings changed." I kicked my shoes off and laid down on the bed.

"You and Sue seem to have become closer this past year." I turned my head slightly towards my daughter. She kept her eyes focused on the quarter. "Have you thought about asking her out on a real date?"

"We're just friends, Bell."

She laughed and set the quarter with the other change on the table. "When was the last time you went on a date?"

I got off the bed and grabbed my bathrobe. "I'm going to get a shower. Why don't you make yourself useful and go get us some real food. Those hors devours didn't last very long."

The thought of asking Sue Clearwater out had crossed my mind on a few occasions. Sue was nothing like Renee. Sue was responsible and mature. Renee always had a habit of doing something without thinking of the consequences. Sue loved to cook, and could fish and hunt better than most men. Her kids were pretty much grown just as Bella was. _So why do you keep stalling?_ I asked myself. Truth was — I was scared. I hadn't dated another woman since Renee left me, and even the thought of asking Sue out made me feel like I was somehow cheating with my best friends wife.

The rest of the night passed by slowly; neither of us talked. I went to bed while she got her shower and was asleep by the time she got out.

The next day we had breakfast at a Waffle House before heading over to Phil's. His house wasn't glamorous but it was bigger than my small, wood framed home in Forks. There was a beautiful ocean to look over every morning with the sun shining down. Why Bella didn't move here when she had the chance — I will never understand.

Phil answered the door after the second ring. His eyes were swollen and red, and his bleached blond hair was tousled, looking like he'd just got out of bed.

"Hey guys. Come on in." He was wearing a pair of shorts and a white t-shirt, and stood aside to let us in the house. "Uh…Bella, you know where everything is, just help yourself. At least leave me a couple of pictures of you and Renee."

"Sure, sure," she responded with her head down and walked towards the back of the house.

"Charlie, would you like some coffee?" Phil asked keeping his eyes on Bella.

"Yeah, that sounds good."

He led me to the kitchen. It was very small, with no table. There were bar stools set up at a large counter that divided the kitchen area from the dining room. I eased myself onto one of the stools while Phil poured me a steaming cup of black coffee. He sat down across from me and slowly rotated his cup on the counter.

"How did you manage to live so many years alone?" he asked without taking his eyes away from his cup.

"I had good, close friends. My job kept me busy. Don't get me wrong, I was a mess when Renee left with Bella, but everyday made it easier and easier."

"Yeah, but then you knew Renee was only a phone call away. I don't have that privilege." His puffy blue eyes looked at me. Phil was at least ten years younger than me, and I often silently questioned his and Renee's relationship. Now the assumption that it was only a physical attraction that tied them together was ludicrous. The hurt and pain in Phil's face reminded me of the look Sue Clearwater had when I told her Harry had passed away.

"Phil, it gets easier with time. Sure, the pain will always be there, but you can't feel bad about going on with your life. Renee wouldn't want you to stop living or enjoying life just because she isn't around. That was one thing that always attracted me to her: her ability to live life to the fullest. She was a risk taker, not a square like me."

He gave a half hearted smile of gratitude. I changed the subject, trying to change his demeanor, and talked about the upcoming baseball season. He said he had some good players this year and expected to have a winning season. One of the top Universities in the state of Florida was interested in his pitcher who was a senior this year. Phil was assisting him on getting a scholarship. No doubt with Renee gone, Phil would put more time into his players. He encouraged me to visit him in the summer and would take me deep sea fishing. I told him I would try, but it depended on my health whether I could make the long journey across the U.S.

Eventually, Bella walked into the kitchen with a box half filled of things that had belonged to Renee.

"Are you sure there isn't anything else you want?" Phil asked noticing the box had plenty of room left.

"I just got some pictures she had, a few books, a cap, and a few things I made her when I was younger." Bella turned her eyes on me, "Ready? We need to get back to the hotel and get ready to leave tomorrow."

I followed Bella to the door with Phil lagging behind.

"Bella," Phil said as we walked outside, "I don't want you to leave on bad terms with me. I'm sorry if I upset you in having Renee cremated, but I know that's what she would have wanted. You haven't been around much these past few years to know what your mother would have wanted."

Bella paused at the car and slowly turned around. I tried to ignore their conversation by pretending to be interested in other houses in the area.

"Are you going to tell me that because I wasn't living with her for the past few years that I didn't know my own mother? Is that what you're telling me, Phil?" He stood speechless at the open door. "I took care of my mother long before you came along. In all the years she was with me, she stayed happy, healthy, and alive."

"Isabella…" I warned her, no longer able to stay a silent party.

"No Charlie," Bella cut me off not taking her stern eyes off Phil. "I'm tired of being the good girl and doing and acting like everyone thinks I should. I don't appreciate being told that because I didn't come to visit more that I didn't know my own mother."

"You're that confident you knew her, but you didn't see her on the other side of the emails you sent," Phil's voice had grown ice cold. "You didn't see how upset she was when she had to tell her high society friends that her daughter broke her engagement to a wealthy doctor's son. When people asked about her only daughter, she was ashamed to tell them she worked in a small cafeteria in a desolate city she tried so hard to break away from. You caused your mother, whom you cared for so much, more pain and humiliation than anything I ever did."

Bella's mouth was as pale as her cheeks. Phil hit her to the very soul of her being. She loved her mother more than anything, and knowing that she caused her such hurt was running through my daughter's mind.

"Bella," I said putting an arm around her, "get in the car." I opened the front door and took the box from her and placed in in the back seat. Then, I turned and walked towards Phil. "If you ever talk to my daughter like that again…I may be crippled, and you might get the best of me, but I will make sure I knock every tooth out of your head. I understand you are grieving right now, but so is she. She feels partly responsible for Renee's foolish death, and now you want her to feel like she let her mother down in the last few months of her life? I know Renee would not approve. Renee never cared about money or titles, so everything you said was a lie."

"If you thought that I was going to stand there while she accused me of killing Renee and not speak up for myself…"

"Yeah, silly me thought you were an adult." I turned and walked towards the car to leave. "You can consider this a farewell, Phil. Don't call us. If Bella wishes to speak with you, she'll call or email. If you don't reply, don't worry about her ever trying again." I got in the car and placed my hand on Bella's shoulder. "You okay to drive?"

She didn't say a word and peeled out of the driveway. She was silent on the way to the motel. I figured it would be best to leave her alone. Later that night, while the lights were out, she talked to me.

"You shouldn't have threatened him, Dad. I'm surprised the law hasn't come asking questions."

"I wasn't going to stand there and let him hurt you with all those lies."

"You think they were lies?" she asked. "It sounded reasonable to me. I'm sure I let her down just like I've let everyone else in my life down. You, Edward, Jacob — everyone."

I rolled over to face her. All I could see was her form laying on the bed. Her back was to me and her hair cascaded over the pillow. "Don't you think that way, Bell. I have always been proud of you. Sure, I wanted you to go to college, but your young and have plenty of time to decide what you want to do. As far as Edward and Jacob go, to hell with them. If they can't accept that you need a break or accept the fact that you aren't interested — to hell with them."

She rolled over and I could see her teeth shining in the darkness. "Thanks, Dad. Your pep talks are really inspiring. Maybe I'll look into taking a few classes over the summer. Something out there that might strike an interest in me. Maybe we both need to step out of our comfort zone."

"You first," I said rolling over.

"I already have."

The plane ride home was worse than the trip there. The airports were more crowded with people getting back to their normal, routine lives after the holidays. The start of the new year was starting to be an adventure for Bella and me.

We got home Monday afternoon. It felt amazingly great to feel the cold, wet air again. Even Bella smiled when we passed the Welcome to Forks sign. We unloaded the car and I went to the phone to let Sue know we were home. She was happy to hear we arrived safely and wanted to know all the details of the funeral. I told her to come to the house tomorrow so we could talk and she could see my Christmas gift. Then I called Edward to let him know we were home.

"How were Renee and Phil?" he asked.

"I didn't get a chance to see Renee, but Phil seems to be doing okay. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know we're back home and the technician can come anytime."

"Give my best to Bella," Edward said before hanging up.

I felt sorry for the poor guy and hoped that Bella was making the right decision on staying away from him. Like Sue had said before, if Bella wasn't careful someone else might catch Edward's attention.

The next day, Sue stopped by while Bella was at work. She acted like she was impressed with my television, but I knew material items didn't mater to Sue. She was so easy to be around, I could discuss anything with her. I told her about Phil and Bella's confrontation.

"How awful," she said placing her hand over her heart. We sat at the kitchen table drinking a beer, talking like old friends. "I would kill someone if they dared to speak to Leah like that."

"I don't think Leah would give you a chance." Leah was not as kind hearted as her mother. She always walked around with a chip on her shoulder and an angry expression on her face. She was a lovely girl, but her attitude outshined her beauty.

"Leah has a way of acting like things don't bother her, but they do. Emily and Sam announced that they're expecting their first child in August."

"Ouch." Everyone was familiar with the history of the Leah, Sam, and Emily triangle. Leah had never gotten over her love for Sam, but Sam was madly in love with Emily who happened to be Leah's cousin. It made family get-togethers very uncomfortable for Sue. "Has Leah said anything to you about it?"

"She doesn't talk to me." Leah had been difficult for Sue to control since Harry's death. She had become secluded and always hung out with the guys even though it was apparent they didn't like having her around.

"Maybe she and Bella could do something together." Bella would kill me if she knew I volunteered her services. Leah and Bella disliked each other. I thought Leah might be jealous of Bella and Jacob's friendship — or something more.

Sue cocked her fetching dark eyes at me, knowing our daughters didn't get along. "Bella and I are friends, I don't want that to change. Leah will be fine. It will take her some time, but she will eventually get over it. There is no use in her holding on to something that isn't there. And speaking of something that isn't there, what is the story with Edward and Bella?"

"Hell if I know. I'm going to leave it alone for now. She's a little touchy these days. But she did tell me she was planning on taking a few college classes over the summer. Maybe Phil's outburst knocked a little sense into her."

Sue looked at her watch and stood up. "I need to head back home. Seth will be there shortly and I still have to stop by and get some groceries. Maybe one day soon you and Bella can come over to the house and have supper with us."

"Yeah, or maybe one day you and I can go out and have supper alone."

Sue paused at the front door and slowly turned and faced me. I felt awkward and cornered as she smiled a radiant smile at me. "Charlie Swan, are you asking me out?"

I uncomfortably shifted my stance under her watchful eye. "Sure. What law says that two adults can't enjoy each others company for supper, by themselves?"

"Right." She quickly turned around and headed out the door. "Just give me a ring and let me know," she called to me as she got in her SUV to leave.

The rest of the week went by quietly. Sunday I invited Billy over to watch the football play off games. Bella had a big pot of stew simmering on the stove.

"Dad, I'm going over to Angela's. I wanted to see her before she leaves to go back to Seattle." Bella grabbed her jacket and keys.

"Are you sure you're not just leaving because Jacob's coming over? He'll probably drop Billy off and leave."

"I don't want to see Jacob, but I really want to visit Angela before she leaves. She only gets to come home every other weekend."

I waved her out the door and waited for Billy's arrival. Not long after Bella left, I heard the old truck backfiring signaling the Blacks arrival. Jacob rolled Billy into the living room.

"Wow, this your gift from the Cullens?" Billy whistled as his eyes fixated on my new 55" flat screen.

"Yeah, and they got me a deal with the satellite company. I only have to pay about twenty bucks a month."

"Sure, sure," Jacob said. "I see Bella's truck is gone. She sneak off to see him?"

"No, they still aren't talking — either." Jacob didn't smile but I could tell he was pleased with the information. "She wanted to see her friend, Angela, before she goes back to Seattle."

"I'll leave you two to your game. I'll be back in about four hours to pick you up," Jacob told Billy before he left.

I fixed Billy and myself a large helping of stew and we settled down in front of the TV to watch the game. After a few hours, Bella came home and cleaned up the kitchen. The outing with Angela seemed to do her good.

"Billy, do I need to take you home, or is Jacob coming back?" she asked when the game was over.

Billy looked at his watch, "He should be back any minute, but thanks for the offer. You know, Jacob's friends are throwing him a huge birthday party down at the beach Saturday. It sure would mean a lot to him if you showed up."

"I'll see," she avoided Billy's eyes, and kissed me goodnight, quickly retreating to her bedroom.

"Wonder what their problem is now?" Billy asked looking over at me.

"Kids. There's no telling. They got in a squabble before we left for Jacksonville. Jacob offered to go with her but she ranted on about being able to take care of herself. She's been moody since Christmas."

Billy gave a low chuckle. "One thing I don't miss about women. I only see Rebecca once a year, and since Rachel is now married to Paul, she's not my concern anymore." Billy sat back in his wheelchair with his arms crossed and a smug look on his face. "Sure, there are some things I miss, like a woman's touch. If you want it bad enough you can pay a small price and still not have to live with the extra baggage that comes with her."

"Yeah, Billy, you're a real romantic." If Jacob took after his father, it was understandable why he and Bella constantly argued.

A little while later Jacob arrived to pick up his father.

"How was the game?" Jacob asked in a loud voice. I noticed his eyes quickly glanced up the stairs.

"This TV makes you feel like you're right down on the fifty yard line with the players. I'm wore out and ready to go to bed now," Billy said.

Jacob got behind him and started pushing him towards the door. "Hey, Charlie, I heard you're planning on asking Sue Clearwater out for a date?"

I was startled. It wasn't like Sue to talk about her personal life with anyone.

Billy put his hand up to signal Jacob to halt. "Charlie, are you keeping something from me?" he asked turning his head around. "Just how good of friends are you and Sue?"

I ignored Billy and focused my eyes on Jacob. "I mentioned to her about us having dinner together as two responsible adult friends. How did you know?"

Jacob shifted his eyes away from my glare. "Seth mentioned he overheard his mother on the phone with someone talking about it."

Billy laughed. "If you think Bella has problems, you haven't seen anything. Leah Clearwater is turning out to be a handful. I know there have been a couple of times I would have loved to take a belt to her backside. Sue needs someone like you to help with those kids, and you need someone like Sue. You can't expect Bella to be around forever."

"Now wait a minute Billy, you're getting too far ahead of this. I didn't propose, I just asked her to dinner as friends. I don't mind helping her out with the kids if she asks for it, but I'm not looking at replacing Harry; as a father or a husband." The idea of trying marriage again caused panic to grip my heart. I didn't want to take the chance of having my heart stomped on and being humiliated again.

"Charlie," Billy said, his eyes shining with laughter, "you're not Harry just like Sue isn't Renee. If I ever found a woman who looked as good, was as sweet, and as smart at Sue Clearwater — I wouldn't be single. Life is way too short to worry about what other people think, or about all the problems that may or may not happen. I've seen how you two look at each other, and I know she's very fond of you. Trust me when I say she may not wait around forever while you twiddle your thumbs. See ya around."

Jacob got Billy in the truck and left. I thought about Billy's advice. It had been nineteen years since I had been out with a woman. I walked over to the phone, my palms sweating despite the cold, and dialed the Clearwaters' number.

I stared at myself in the mirror. My hair had turned gray at the temples and somehow I managed to form crows feet at the corner of my eyes. I was wearing a navy blue buttoned up shirt and a pair of jeans. I slipped on my brown blazer and adjusted my shirt collar. "You definitely don't look like you did nineteen years ago, but I can't complain; I'm breathing," I mumbled to myself in the mirror before heading downstairs.

Bella left earlier to work at the library so she could leave earlier and go to Jacob's birthday party. I was glad she was willing to put whatever happened between them behind her, and she was glad I called Sue last week and asked her on a date. We were going to Port Angeles for dinner and a movie. I would have rather been the one picking her up, but I still wasn't to the point where I was able to drive. My physical therapist said I should be able in a few more months. She seemed pleased with my progress and said she noticed a change in my attitude since my return from Jacksonville. Maybe, unconsciously, something clicked inside of me awakening my senses to breath life because we aren't promised tomorrow.

I walked into the kitchen and chugged down a glass of water to calm my nerves. From the kitchen window, I watched Sue's green SUV pull in the drive. She got out and started walking towards the door. Her long, black hair was flying behind her in the wind. She was wearing gray slacks, a black turtleneck and a black shawl. She looked very exquisite and distinguished.

"Am I underdressed?" I asked opening the door.

Her ebony eyes quickly roamed over my body and she gave a light shake of her head. "No, you look great. Ready?"

I opened the driver door for her before settling myself in the passenger seat. Surprisingly, we didn't run out of things to talk about on the drive to Port Angeles. That had been one of my main concerns. I enjoyed silence, but silence between two people on a first date, trapped in a car with nothing else to do was torture.

We had dinner at one of the local seafood restaurants. Sue ordered salmon and I got a steak. We laughed and joked about some memories we had of Harry. She didn't seem upset talking about him, and I didn't seem uncomfortable sharing stories with her.

The movie was a good one she selected. It was a drama based on a true story of a families tragedy and how they dealt with their loss while trying to solve the murder. Afterwards, we stopped by and picked up a cup of coffee for the ride home.

I was surprised to see Bella's truck parked in the front yard and the outside light left on for me. There was a light shining from inside the house where my daughter was probably awaiting my return. Funny how in a year our roles became reversed.

"I thought Bella was going to Jacob's birthday party?" Sue asked.

"Yeah, so did I."

"You think she hurried home to wait on you?" Sue asked, a grin forming on her tan face.

"Probably." I was uncertain how to end a wonderful night. I didn't want to push my luck, but I didn't want to push her away either. "I had a good time. We'll have to do it again sometime."

"Charlie," she reached out and lightly placed her hand on my knee. "I know how difficult it was for you to ask me out. Whether it had anything to do with your memories of Renee, or concerns about mine for Harry, or both…thank you. I honestly can't remember the last time I felt like — a woman."

I held her cool hand in mine, and tilted her chin up to my face. I couldn't deny the evidence any longer. My feelings for Sue had grown deeper and more personal in the past few months. She was gentle, serenely wise, and beautiful, and as crazy as it sounded, she was interested in me. I leaned in and gently kissed her, not wanting to strain the situation. She placed her fingers through my hair, pulling me closer to her. Her lips recaptured mine, more demanding this time. We managed to pull ourselves away from each other, panting for breath.

"I'm sorry," she apologized, wrapping he shawl more tightly around her. "I don't know what came over me. I'm usually not so aggressive."

I ran my hands over my face. "Don't apologize. I liked it."

We exchanged a subtle look of amusement before we both broke out with laughter.

"Am I suppose to walk you to the door or something?" she asked with a smile still on her face.

"No, you can stay inside where it's warm. Please be careful on the way home." I paused with my hand on the door handle and glanced back at her. "I'll call you." I leaned forward and kissed her one last time.

Bella was sitting at the kitchen table with a book in her hand when I walked in.

"How did your date go? You two have been sitting out in the yard for a while now."

I hung my blazer up on the coat rack. "We had fun. I thought you were going to Jacob's birthday party?"

"I did." She kept her eyes in her book.

"It's already over?"

"I left early."

"I take it you and Jacob are still mad with each other. Bells…"

"Not tonight, I'm tired." She got up from the table and kissed me on the cheek. "Sweet dreams, Dad. I'm glad you stepped out of your comfort zone and finally asked Sue out." She went up to her bedroom and closed the door.

Despite my concerns for Bella, I couldn't help but hum to myself as I got ready for bed. I hoped Harry in heaven would understand my feelings and give me his blessing. For the first time since that terrible night in June, I slept peacefully without any nightmares.


	3. Chapter 3 February

Chapter 3

**February**

**Authors Notes: **Love is in the air, but green has taken over the hearts in Forks;) "Oh what a wicked web we weave when first we practice to deceive." Sir Walter Scott

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

**BPOV**

Everyone at work gave their condolences when school opened again in January. Of course, immediately gossip went through the school like wildfire concerning my _complete _break-up with Edward Cullen. Everyone considered me insane to call off the wedding in the beginning. Now, not only was I insane for postponing my wedding to the devastatingly handsome, intelligent, rich young man, but I was foolish to let him go all together. As always, behind every gossip there was a reason on why I did it: I was a lesbian, I was sleeping around with someone else (Jacob's name came up often), it was Edward who had dumped me because I'd caught a venereal disease, and my favorite and most accurate reason — I was wacky.

I arrived home to find Charlie gone again. Since he and Sue started dating, he spent more and more time at La Push. I went upstairs to take a shower and get the fish smell out of my hair. That was one of the downsides to working in a cafeteria: whatever we served is what we ended up smelling like. Not very romantic hugging someone and have them thinking your choice of perfume is salmon.

After my long, hot scrub, I went back to the kitchen, grabbed a bottle of water, and planted myself in front of the new television. I sat for a while, glaring at the monstrosity. Every time I looked at it, I was reminded of the last time I had seen Edward; the last time I had seen any of the Cullens. I was pleased and shocked at myself for being able to withstand a moment without hearing their smooth voices, seeing their beautiful eyes, feeling his perfect marble skin…

The sudden ringing of the phone surprised me, and my water bottle went rolling to the floor. If it was him, what would I do? Would I be mad that he called, ignoring my request even though I hadn't heard from him in over a month? Or would I be elated, and ask for forgiveness for my demand that he and his family was to leave me alone, and beg him to take me back.

I ran to the phone but paused before I answered, trying to control my breathing. After the fifth ring, I was able to answer.

"Hello?"

"Bella, it's Sue. I didn't catch you at a bad time, did I?"

"No, I wasn't doing anything important." I hoped she didn't catch the sadness in my voice.

"We're having a cookout over at my house. Why don't you come and join us? Charlie spent the day over at Billy's and you can take him home afterwards."

"Uh…I don't know Sue."

"It's been a while since everyone has seen you. Plus, I think it will do you good to get out a while and be around friends."

Being around friends was the kicker. Jacob and I hadn't talked since his birthday last month. I wasn't close to anyone in the tribe with the exception of Jacob. They were friendly towards me (excluding Leah), but I knew deep down they still considered me one of _them_ — a bloodsucker.

"I'll come for a little while." I had never had a problem with Sue and didn't want her thinking that just because she was dating Charlie I was going to start disliking her.

"See you later then."

Jacob Black and I had an argument after Renee died in December. He insisted on flying to Florida to be with me during such a traumatic time in my life. I told him (not so kindly) that he was no better than Edward, thinking I couldn't handle anything on my own, and he wouldn't be going with me to Florida or anywhere else.

A couple weeks later, Rachel invited me to a surprise birthday party for Jacob. It was nothing fancy, just something all his friends were throwing for him on the beach. I got him the latest CD of his favorite band and a card, left my pride at home, and went to La Push. It was that night we really had it out. Sure, I guess looking back on it now I can see how I may have started it, but trying to explain things to Jacob was like trying to explain to a bear why you weren't the best meal for him. I said hurtful things, he said hurtful things, and I left vowing never to speak to him again. That was three weeks ago.

I took the all too familiar road down to La Push to the Clearwater's residence. A groan erupted from my throat at the sight of all the people gathered around outside. I put my head down and started towards the front door. Paul was sprawled out on a chair in the front lawn and snickered a hello at me as I passed by. Quil came out the door and stopped when he saw me, his brown eyes round like saucers.

"Bella! What are you doing here?"

I felt my face blush and an uneasiness creep up my spine hearing his tone.

"Sue invited me. I know I'm probably late — I told her I could only stay for a little while. I'm going to take Charlie home."

"Oh…well I can go inside and get him. You don't have to come in — you can wait by the truck."

"Quil," I responded with a trace of annoyance as I jerked my arm from his hold. "I want to say hi to Sue. I'll leave when Charlie's ready to leave."

Quil reached for my arm again, but I quickly opened the screen door and walked inside. My eyes went directly across the room to where the old, leather love seat sat against the paneled wall. There was a girl, appeared to be older than me, long black hair, beautiful sun glowing skin, and her dark eyes were as dark as black satin. Next to her, with his arm stretched casually across the back of her seat, sat Jacob. His face was intent, hanging on every word she said. I stood frozen at the door as a sense of inadequacy swept over me.

"Bella." Jacob turned and looked my way when Rachel said my name. She walked over and gave me a hug, and my eyes fell to the floor as I whispered a greeting back to her. Rachel grabbed my hand, and I numbly followed her over to where her brother and the goddess were seated. The girl stood and I couldn't help but notice that her hips tapered into long straight legs. She was a head taller than me and reminded me of a model.

"Bella, let me introduce you to a friend of mine from college. Kathryn Ortiz, this is Bella Swan, you've met her father, Charlie."

Kathryn held her slender hand out towards me. "Bella, it's nice to meet you." My small, pale hand looked odd in hers as her long fingers warpped around it and squeezed.

"Kat and I were friends at Washington State. She couldn't make it to my wedding because she was working overseas."

"I dabble in modeling." _Of course she does. _"I took some time off to go to college and get my degree in business to open my own clothing line one day. What do you do?"

Her question caught me off guard. "I…uh…work in culinary."

"Oh, you have your own catering business?" she asked showing off her prefect white teeth.

I sighed. "No, I work in the school cafeteria at Forks High."

"Well…we all have to start somewhere, don't we." She turned her attention to Jacob who was avoiding my gaze. "If I had known that Rachel's little brother was so delish, I would have visited sooner."

"Yeah, he's a plateful alright." Jacob and I glared at each other.

"I've got an idea," Kathryn said, slapping her hands together. "Bella, why don't you join Rachel and me tomorrow. We're going to Seattle to look in their boutiques for a dress to wear to the Sweetheart Dance."

"Sweetheart Dance?" I glanced over at Jacob and he quickly turned his head.

"Yes. I'm going with Jacob and we're going to double date with Rachel and Paul. Hey, why don't we rent a limo and make it a triple date? How about it?"

I chewed on my lower lip, "Um…I don't…"

"Oh, I'm sorry," she said protruding her lips out into a pout. "I didn't think about you not having a date."

My embarrassment quickly turned to raw fury. "I have a date, I just think three might be a crowd. Sorry, I can't go with you shopping this weekend, I work part time at the library, but I look forward to seeing you at the dance. Excuse me." I nudged past her and stormed off into the kitchen.

"Bella, glad you could make it." Sue walked over and gave me a hug.

"Sure, where's Charlie?"

"Are you okay? You looked flushed."

"I'm fine. Just tell Charlie I'll be waiting for him out in the truck." I left out the backdoor, not caring to walk back through the living room.

"Did you meet Kathryn?" Paul called to me. He was still sitting in the lawn chair in the front yard.

"Yes. She seems nice."

"She's very fond of Jacob." I knew Paul was watching my reaction. "They hit it off just as soon as Rachel introduced them."

"So it appears," I said, jerking the truck door open.

"I think he's sweet on her. I haven't seen him look at a girl like since…well, never. Who could blame him? I mean she is one hell of a good looking woman. If I wasn't madly in love with Rachel, imprinted you know, I would try to imprint on Kat. Who knows, maybe Jacob's imprinted on her. Wouldn't that be something." Paul was grinning ear to ear.

"Yeah, Paul. That will be the only way he'll ever get a woman is if he imprints on her. Sort of like you." Paul got out of his chair and I could tell he didn't like being talked down upon. "Poor Rachel. It must suck being her — doomed to live with such ass like you."

"You little…you better watch that mouth of yours. You don't want to make me angry. Your little vampire buddies aren't here to protect you."

I suddenly realized that upsetting Paul wasn't the smartest thing for me to do. He was drunk and was known for his short fuse. However, I refused to be intimidated by him. He started this war of words, and I wasn't backing down.

"I don't need the Cullens to protect me from you. All I need is a milk bone to send you running."

Paul got in my face, his body shaking with anger, and I struggled to keep my breath from gasping.

"Paul, I think you've had too much to drink tonight. Why don't you go inside. Sis has been looking for you." Jacob's hand was firmly grasping Paul's shoulder. Paul growled and shrugged it off. "This isn't cool, Paul. Go inside."

"You're not my boss," Paul snarled at Jacob but kept his hard eyes on me.

"Since Sam isn't around and I'm second in command — yeah, I am your boss, and right now and I'm _ordering _you to back-off." Jacob's voice was forceful.

Paul slowly backed up and snickered. "Later leech lover."

"He'll be mad at you," I said, getting inside the truck.

"Nah, Paul will forget about it in the morning. It was mostly the liquor talking." Jacob and I both knew it was more than that. "So, you and Cullen are back together, huh?"

"What makes you say that?"

Jacob rolled his eyes, "Who else would you be going to the Sweetheart Dance with."

"Are you trying to tell me that my only choice around here is you or Edward?"

Jacob broke into a wide, open smile. "You're not back with him — you don't have a date to the Sweetheart Dance, do you?"

My face flamed with anger and humiliation. "Of course I have a date."

"You hate dances, Bella. You wouldn't allow Edward or me to take you to one before, but your letting some guy, I don't know and you're not saying, take you without a fight. You're jealous of Kat, aren't you?"

My hand throbbed, wanting to seriously cause Jacob some pain, but the memory of the last time I tried to punish him was still fresh in my mind. "Why should I care who you go out with? I have no interest in you except for friends like I've tried to tell you over and over again."

"That's why I don't understand why you're jealous. I've meet a girl that is very attractive and funny, and you should be happy for me."

"Jacob," I said through clenched teeth, "for the last time, I'm not jealous."

"Then tell me who you're going to the dance with?" Jacob asked in an amusing tone.

"Bella, sorry I kept you waiting." Charlie came walking towards the truck. "Hey, Jake. You sure were spending a lot of time with Rachel's friend tonight." I slammed the door, cranked the truck, and revved the engine. "I guess that's my cue telling me know it's time to leave."

"Drive careful." Jacob waved bye as we took off down the road. He was still smiling like a jackass as I rounded the corner.

"Can you two ever just talk without arguing?"

I kept silent all the way home.

The weekend passed slowly. Saturday was children's day at the library. Thankfully, Mrs. Emerson volunteered to do the honors of entertaining them. Sunday, I went to the store to get some groceries for the following week. There was a lot of talk around town about the upcoming Sweetheart Dance. Jacob had been right; I loathed dances. The last dance I attended was my junior prom and that was by accident.

Everyone in the cafeteria was chattering away about the dance. Some were looking forward to it, some were planning on private dates with their significant other, and some thought it was childish and ridiculous. I kept my head down and listened. No one asked for my opinion since my single status was still, at times, the most famous subject.

I was slicing potatoes, thinking about Jacob and Kathryn. I had lied to them about having a date. Maybe I was jealous, but I didn't understand why; I didn't like Jacob like that. _I don't want him, but I don't want anyone else to have him either._ I didn't believe that thought was true, and I was baffled I had even thought of it. I wanted Jacob to be happy, but there was just something about Kathryn — she didn't seem right for him.

I started thinking of excuses to use for why I was unable to attend the dance besides the obvious, when Leigh screamed next to me, "Bella! You-your finger!"

I looked down and passed out.

When I awoke, I was in the ER and my hand was wrapped in gauze. I looked over and saw Jessica Stanley sitting in the exam room with me. She was wearing her hospital scrubs and looked very professional.

"Bella, I was wondering if we were going to have to admit you. You've been out cold for a couple of hours now."

I glanced down and could see a small amount of blood seeping through the gauze. "I don't handle blood well. Sorry."

"It's okay. It takes some getting used to. How have you been? I heard about you and Edward. I'm so sorry. Hey, at least you didn't go wacky like before, right?" I noticed Jessica's eyes glance over to my wrapped hand.

"Your parents said you were almost finished with nursing school. Good for you."

"I know. I'll be graduating this summer. What about you? Any ideas on what you want to do?" I shook my head silently. "It's okay. It's not like you don't have time to figure it out."

"Sure."

"The only thing I have left to accomplish is Mike Newton." They had been in and out of a relationship since our senior year of high school.

"You and Mike broke-up again?"

Jessica gave a quick shake of her head. "Our relationship is like a water faucet. I'm getting tired of waiting around for him to make a move, so I have a plan. He thinks he can live without me, but I'm going to make him totally jealous and show him that he isn't the only man I can get." I remained silent, so Jessica took it as a cue for her to continue. "I'm going to take Dylan, from x-ray, to the Sweetheart Dance."

"How do you know Mike's going to be there?"

Jessica rolled her eyes, "Pluh-ez, Mike will be there. He'll be there with Tyler's younger sister, Samantha." My eyes widened in shock. "Yeah, I know. Tyler secretly told me he was doing it just to make me jealous, so I'm going to call his bluff." Jessica smiled, happy with her plan. "So, since you and Edward are no longer a couple, who've you got your eyes set on?"

"No one." I didn't feel like discussing my personal affairs with Jessica Stanley. My hand began to throb and I glanced at the clock on the wall, wondering how much longer I was going to have to suffer.

"Must be hard on you. I can't believe that jerk. I knew he would wind up breaking your heart again."

"Jessica, I broke-up with him. I called it off." Why was it so hard to believe that I was capable of saying no to such a god-like creature?

"Oh, everyone heard that you called off the relationship but assumed you both agreed to let everyone think that." I stared at her, amazed at what I was hearing. "I mean, everyone saw the gorgeous blonde that was with him a few days ago."

"Rosalie?"

"This woman, and I mean _woman_, wasn't as pretty as Rosalie, but was darn near close. She had shiny, strawberry blond hair, and skin to die for. Every man, and woman for that matter, was gawking at her — except me of course, only eyes for Mike here," Jessica said pointing at her eyeballs.

"So, he and this woman were together-together? You sure?"

"Oops, you honestly didn't know?" Jessica walked up to my bed and placed her hand on my good one. "I'm so sorry. Bella, they looked like the perfect couple. She was all happy and laughing, an angel voice it sounded like. Of course, Edward was in his usual somber mood. It looks like it takes a lot to make him crack a smile."

She finished her sentence and the curtain opened up. Dr. Carlisle Cullen smiled his enchanting smile. It had been over a month since I had seen or heard any of them. My eyes stung, trying to keep the tears that were forming from falling.

"Thank you, Jessica. I think I can take it from here."

Jessica said her goodbye and quickly left, closing the curtain behind her.

"Sweet girl," Carlisle said as he gently started to unwrap my bandage.

"Yeah, but I'm afraid she won't like me after this weekend." I kept my eyes averted from Carlisle's.

"Oh, why is that?"

"She's bound to find out about Mike and me at the Sweetheart Dance." I hoped Carlisle wouldn't catch the sudden acceleration of my heartbeat.

"Mike Newton?" he asked, pausing only for a second. "You and Mike Newton?"

"It's no secret he's liked me since I first moved here. You can't blame me for wanting to move on with my life."

"No, I can't."

The bandage was removed and I kept my focus on a small hole in the curtain. When Charlie was in the hospital in Seattle, a nurse shared her secret of how to block the smell of blood by breathing through my mouth instead of my nose. It helped very little. Carlisle gave me a shot to numb the pain in my finger, then continued to stitch me up.

"There, I'll give you some band aides to keep it covered. I suggest if you have to work where food is being prepared at school, make sure you wear double gloves over your hand."

"Maybe they'll stick me at a register until it gets better. Thanks."

Carlisle inclined his blond head. "We've missed you, Bella — all of us."

I swallowed hard, lifted my chin, and boldly met his gaze. "Maybe I'll see you at the dance."

"Yes, I'm sure you will."

Leigh had waited for me at the hospital. I insisted that she take me back to the school so I could get my truck and take it home. Once inside my truck, I went full speed ahead to Newton's. I had a wild idea and if I didn't act on it now, I would lose my nerve.

Mike was taking business courses and learning the trick of the trade from his father to take over their business. With the outdoors being Forks main tourist attraction, it was surprising that Newton's was the only outfitters store in town, and because of that reason they had stayed in business for many generations.

Mike was setting out a new display of twin tents for a Valentines special when I entered the store. We exchanged smiles and I walked over to him.

"Bella, hey, what brings you by? You here to pick something up for Charlie?"

Awkwardly, I cleared my throat. "Can we go somewhere…private…and talk?"

Mike stared at me then shook his head. "Sure. There's no one in the office right now." He motioned for a young guy who was on the phone to take over the display, then led me to the back of the store into the office and shut the door.

"What's wrong? Obviously you seem to think I can help or you wouldn't be needing to talk to me." When I first moved to Forks, Mike tried to date me. I put off his attraction as me just being someone he wasn't raised with. I didn't think I had ever intentionally led him to believe that I was ever interested in him. I didn't want him to think that now.

"Are you aware that Jessica is taking Dylan Shack, from the hospital, to the Sweetheart Dance?"

Mike leaned against the desk, his brow pulled into an affronted frown. "You see Jess at the hospital?" I held my wrapped hand up to show it to him. "Huh. She's probably doing it just to make me jealous. I beat she heard that I'm taking Samantha Crowley."

"Tyler's baby sister?" Mike smiled and nodded. "Nobody, including Samantha, is going to believe that you have any interest in her. I'm telling you, Mike, Jessica was talking about Dylan like she used to talk about you. I think she might be falling for him."

Mike's face flashed red. "She can't do that!"

"You two split up — right?"

Some of his anger evaporated, leaving only confusion. "Well…yeah, but we always get back together. We have our little spat, then one of us apologizes and it's over. This last argument was her fault, so she has to be the one to apologize."

"Mike, I don't think Jess wants to play this little game with you anymore. I think she's moving on." Mike looked down at his hiking boots. "After she told me about going to the dance with Dylan, I asked her about you. She told me you would always be there if Dylan didn't work out." _I'll be spending a whole afternoon in confession after this stupid dance is over with_, I thought to myself. Lie after lie was bound to catch up to me, but I was in too deep to stop now.

"What am I supposed to do? Go crawling back to her?" Mike shook his head miserably. "Damn. I always took for granted that Jess would be there for me. Chances are, if I did go begging her to take me back, she would see how pathetic I am and realize she made the right choice with Dylan."

"Or, you could fight fire with fire and show her you might not always be waiting on her."

Mike's eyes sparkled at me with curiosity. "Bella, what are you suggesting?"

"You should show up to the dance with someone who Jessica could see as a threat. Someone who could make her insanely jealous." Now that the bait was out there, my stomach was doing cartwheels worrying if Mike would take it. What if he had no desire to play along and even less of a desire to take me to the dance?

"I'm taking a girl who's still in high school and wears braces. Dylan is three years older than me and has his own place. I don't think that's going to work."

I pretended to concentrate really hard to help Mike figure out how to solve his phony dilemma.

"I guess you could take me." Mike stared at me then started to laugh. "What? Jessica has always been jealous of our friendship. It's perfect."

"Yeah, and have Cullen rip my head off? Forget it! I'll find someone else."

I stood from the chair. "Edward doesn't dictate who I can and can't go out with. Come on, Mike, let me help you."

Mike thought for a moment then shook his head. "She won't believe it. She'll know it's a ruse."

"Everybody in Forks knows I'm single. We've been friends since I moved here and I work during the summer with you. I'm available, you're available…why is it so hard to believe that you and I could have something going on?"

"Okay, what am I suppose to tell Samantha? Tyler is my best friend, I don't want to insult his family." Poor, Samantha. I didn't consider her feelings at all in my scheme. I'll have to make amends to her later.

"Apologize to her. Explain to her you thought about it and realized how awkward you would feel escorting your best friends sister to the Sweetheart Dance. Tell her your sorry, but someone else closer to your age asked you to the dance and you accepted. I'm sure the Crowleys won't be upset."

"So you really want to do this?" Mike asked, leading me to the door.

"What time are you going to pick me up?"

He paused with his hand on the door. "We should be fashionably late. That's probably what Jessica is planning on doing. Be ready by…ten after seven. Wear pink if you can." I turned back and looked at him. "Jessica always likes us to match at social events. If she sees us matching, she will be fuming," Mike said with a devious smile on his face.

"Gotcha — pink."

I started out the door and Mike reached out and caught my hand in his. "Bella, thank you…for helping me out. I really do love her, you know. If this doesn't work, I'll probably end up having to grovel back to her and hope she forgives me for — everything. I guess I'll see you Saturday."

My encouraging smile was weak, but it was the best I could manage.

The school let me operate the register for the remainder of the week. The latest gossip was that I had been so upset and depressed about the upcoming holiday, I hadn't been paying attention when I was slicing the potatoes. At least they were close this time.

Charlie and I didn't speak much except for the few times he was home for supper. He and Sue were going to skip the Sweetheart Dance since he wasn't much of a dance partner, and they were going to spend the day at a gun show in Seattle then later catch a movie.

"I'm sure Sue wouldn't mind you joining us Saturday," Charlie said after he told me of their plans.

"That's okay, I'm going to the dance."

Charlie's eyes lit up with suspicion. "Oh, who with?"

"Mike Newton." I was washing dishes and didn't turn my back to see the reaction on his face.

"I thought he and Jessica Stanley were serious."

"We're going as friends, Dad. Jessica is taking a guy from the hospital and I'm helping Mike out by going with him. It's a game they play with each other. Silly, I know, but he begged and I hated to see him in such dire straits." Wow, I had become pretty good at this lying habit.

"Huh. You're not worried that she will be upset and this whole plan could backfire on you?"

I dried my hands and turned around, leaning against the sink. "I guess it could."

"Billy said Jacob was going to that dance with Rachel's friend, Kathryn. Did you know that?" Charlie's dark eyes questioned mine.

I nodded my head. "She mentioned it when we were over there this past Saturday."

"Hmm. Sounds like it's not just Mike and Jessica that like to play games with each other."

"Dad," I said rolling my eyes, "Jacob and I are only friends. Always have been, always will be. I'm happy that he's going with someone."

"Okay, glad to know. What about Edward?" I pushed away from the sink and walked out the room. Charlie got up and followed me. "Come on, Bell. It's been over a month since you've seen or even talked to him. What the hell did he do besides buy me an expensive gift?"

I stopped at the bottom of the stairs. "I don't want, or have to discuss my personal life with you. Edward and I are finished," I said, trying to swallow the lump that lingered in my throat. "He's moved on with his life apparently, and I plan on doing the same." I stormed up the stairs not listening to Charlie's denial of my statement.

Friday night I stopped by the thrift shop on my way to the library to look for a pink dress. I despised wearing pink with my pale skin. Luckily, I found a silk chocolate colored dress with a v-neck. It had pink tulle, which layered underneath the skirt, and a pink belt for the waist. I already had a pair of brown sandals at home that would go with the outfit. I purchased the dress, knowing Saturday would be the only time I would wear it, then I'd take it back to the store for it to be resold.

I was nervous all day Saturday at the library. I picked up the phone several times to call Mike and cancel, but couldn't bring myself to do so. I had talked Mike into taking me to the dance under the impression we were doing it to make Jessica jealous. _She'll be jealous alright — furiously jealous._

The house was empty when I got home and I quickly showered before dressing for the dance. I touched my face with my mineral make-up, which I only wore on special occasions. Then, I finished it off with a little blush and lip gloss. I used a clear barrette to hold my hair off my shoulders, exposing my slender, white neck. I had to dig around to find my brown sandals that were stuffed in the back of the closet behind boxes of books. They were classy enough to go with the dress and the lack of heel was a plus. The last thing I needed to do tonight was stumble into something — or someone.

I glanced in the mirror at my reflection. "Not too bad," I told myself. Alice always told me that I was fashionably illiterate, but I was pleased on how well I turned out tonight. Nevertheless, the more I stared at myself the more insecure I became. My ivory skin was dull and lifeless compared to Kathryn's long, lean golden body. I imagined her in the dress I was in. _No doubt she would make this dress look fabulous, _I thought.

Then I wondered about Edward's date. I was sure Carlisle acted differently around him after my visit to the hospital. Edward was very perceptive. He would have read Carlisle's mind and would know I was going to the dance with Mike. Edward had never cared for Mike when we were in high school and his feelings didn't change after we graduated. Once Edward found out I was going to be there, I was counting on him arriving to show me he had moved on, just as I lied to Carlisle telling him I had. Jessica had said that whoever he was with, was gorgeous. _If she's close to being as gorgeous as Rosalie_…

I quickly turned from the mirror and started to undo my hair when the doorbell rang. I groaned, cursed, stomped my foot, grabbed my shawl, and left with Mike Newton to the dreaded Sweetheart Dance.

We arrived late just like Mike wanted. Mike drove through the tightly packed parking lot looking for an open space. I spotted Paul and Rachel's Land Rover and my stomach tightened in a knot. I let out a quick breath to calm my nerves.

"Are you sure he won't kill me?"

Reluctantly, I pulled my eyes away from the Land Rover and looked over at Mike. He had stopped in the middle of a row and I followed his gaze. I stopped breathing. Not only was my stomach twisted in a ball full of jitters, but now my heart was shrinking into nothing. Edward's silver Volvo sparkled like a diamond. He was here and chances were he wasn't alone.

"How can he say or do anything when he's here with someone else?" I managed to say after a few moments of silence.

"Oh, I didn't know it was like that." Meaning — _Sorry, I didn't know he dumped you and is now seeing an unbelievably gorgeous lady._

I stayed silent as we slowly passed the Volvo and found an empty space three cars down. I allowed Mike to take my hand and maneuver us through the crowd hanging outside the tent.

The town rented a large enough tent to fit at least 1500 people, have a live band, and a catered buffet. They had a dance floor laid down inside and forced air heaters set up around the perimeter. Voices could be faintly heard over the music. My eyes roamed the crowd on the dance floor, looking for a glimpse of Edward or Jacob.

"Come on," Mike said pulling me towards the tables, "there is Tyler and Megan."

Tyler smiled and waved us over to where he and his girlfriend, Megan, were seated. Mike held the chair out for me and I smiled over to Megan. Tyler had met her at Peninsula College and, according to Mike, was deeply in love.

"Jessica's here with Dylan," Tyler said. "They were dancing a few minutes ago. She already stopped at our table and asked where you were at."

"Did you tell her I was coming with Bella?"

Tyler shook his head, "I didn't want to spoil the fun of seeing her eyes pop out of her head." Megan elbowed Tyler.

"You must think we're terrible," I said, looking over at Megan.

"I think they should talk it over and cut out all the drama." Megan's dark eyes shimmered in the light. She was attractive with dark skin and a friendly face.

"You want me to get you a plate of food?" Mike asked, looking over his shoulder for a sign of Jessica.

"I'll just take some punch." I wasn't sure if any food would be able to stay down.

Mike got up and left. I shifted in my chair to get a look at the people on the dance floor. I was surprised to see Sam and Emily Uley dancing in the midst of the crowd. Emily's eyes caught mine, and I sent a friendly wave her way. Her eyes flickered over to a table. I looked in time to see Jacob take Kathryn's hand and lead her to the dance floor.

I couldn't help but stare at them as they swayed back and forth to the music. Jacob was stunning in a pair of tan dress pants and white shirt with a red tie. He didn't look very comfortable in his attire — or on the dance floor. I stifled a laugh watching Kathryn's face squinch after Jacob stepped on her foot. She was wearing a tight fitting, red silk dress that showed every curve of her body. Her hair remained down — long and flowing.

I continued to watch a few more minutes. As I started to turn around, an all too familiar scowl came over Jacob's features. Sam and Emily passed by him and took a seat at their table next to Rachel and Paul. Jacob was trying to pull Kathryn off the floor, but she wasn't budging. Then my eyes saw why the wolf pack was vacating the dance floor.

All eyes focused on a beautiful blonde in an elegant, shimmering white dress. She was dancing with a guy that matched her beauty and was wearing a white tuxedo. They were proceeded by a small, brunette beauty wearing a short, sequined red dress and her partner, a tall, mysterious looking blonde, was wearing all black with exception to a satin red tie. They were followed onto the floor by a graceful, chestnut haired lady wearing a full length black velvet gown. Holding her hand was a handsome blonde in a black tuxedo. The Cullens had taken over the dance floor.

People paused, entranced by the performers who twirled and floated on air. My eyes desperately searched for the bronzed haired Cullen. When I found him, he was staring at me. We locked eyes on each other, each unable to look away. There was movement to his left that caused me to break the stare first. My body went from a smoldering heat that longed for him, to ice cold despair seeing the girl next to him.

She wasn't close to Rosalie's beauty as Jessica had implied, but lovelier than me. She had sandy blond hair that was neatly braided. Her tanned skin glistened under the lights. Her white laced dress reminded me of a wedding dress…I quickly turned around in my seat, fighting down the bile that had risen in my throat.

"Mike, this was a bad idea," I whispered after taking a sip of punch to keep from vomiting on the table. "I need to go home — I'm not feeling so well."

"Oh my God, you're white as a sheet," Megan said, reaching to grab my cold hand. "I think you might be coming down with something, Bella. You're ice cold."

"Why is it every time I take you out one of us gets sick?" Mike finished stuffing the last bit of cheesecake in his mouth before he got up to leave. He pulled my chair back for me and I apologized to Megan and Tyler for the sudden exit. I stood and Mike gently put his arm around my waist to lead me away from the table. We turned around and were face to face with Jessica and Dylan.

"What the hell?" Jessica said looking from me to Mike then back to me; her face growing redder by the minute. "Bella, do you want to try and explain to me what is going on?" When I didn't answer she looked at Mike. "What about you?"

"Wh-what about you?" Mike stammered. "You're here with him, I'm here with her. It's not like Bella and I haven't ever dated before." I felt my face flush red and looked at the ground. _I'm fixing to throw-up here and now._

"You was supposed to have brought Samantha, not her," Jessica yelled, pointing a manicured finger in my face. "Dylan and I are just friends. He's gay, for crying out loud!"

The band seemed to conveniently use this opportune moment to take a break. The laughter and voices appeared to diminish as Jessica and Mike's voice got louder.

"You must have just found that out tonight because I was told you were quite fond of him. Now that you find out he's gay, you come crawling back to me. I'm always here, right? Isn't that what you told Bella? If things didn't work out with Dylan, I would always be waiting on you?" Mike didn't let Jessica answer, "I can find someone else just as good as you can."

Jessica's hazel eyes flamed. "You lying whore! Is that what you told him? You twisted my words to fit your game?" She was practically seething with anger. "Because you're life is so screwed up, you want everyone to suffer, is that it Isabella Swan?"

I couldn't hold it in any longer. I was humiliated, heart broken, and a liar whose deceit had caught up to her. I opened my mouth to apologize, and hurled all over Jessica's fuchsia dress.

"Son of a…," Jessica screamed. Mike gagged behind me. Tyler was laughing uncontrollably. Megan and Dylan stayed quiet.

I rushed out the front of the tent and stumbled down to the edge of the woods where I dispersed the remaining contents that were in my stomach.

"Bella."

His velvety voice I would have recognized under any condition I was in. My knees weakened more than what they already were, and knowing he had witnessed my shame didn't help ease my stomach. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and continued to face the woods — unable to meet his topaz eyes.

"I'm okay. Mike's probably worried about me. I think I'm getting a virus or something. I probably should head back and let him take me home." I turned around to see Edward's frame silhouetted by the moon.

"Yes. I heard from Carlisle that you and Mike were seeing each other."

"That's not like Carlisle to go around and blab about what other people tell him."

Edward grimaced. "He didn't actually tell me. I guess you can say I overheard it."

"You read his mind," I said point blank and pushed past him heading back to the tent.

"I have to admit," Edward said following me, "I expected you to move on but not with Mike Newton."

I stopped and turned around. "What's wrong with Mike Newton? He's always had a crush on me. Is it so hard to believe that I might feel a little something for him?"

"Bella," Edward's tone was light and amusing, "the only type of feeling you have ever had for Mike Newton has been one of annoyance and pity; never anything more than friendship. I expected you to be here with Jacob."

I let my eyes casually fall from his stare. "Jacob's here with Kathryn Ortiz; a friend of Rachel's."

"I'm sorry that upsets you."

I shrugged my shoulders. "There was never anything between Jacob and I other than friendship. He seems to be head-over heels in love with her."

Edward laughed and shook his head. "He's only with her to make you jealous. He thinks she is too pampered and is extremely bored with her endless chatter about herself."

I giggled knowing that Jacob was having a lousier time than I was.

"Um…Bella." Mike's voice sounded behind me. "I'm going to take Jessica home. Thanks for helping me out. It turned out better than I could've imagined. Sorry you got sick. Do you want me to have Tyler take you home?"

"That won't be necessary, Mike," Edward said with a glint of humor in his eyes. Mike didn't speak to him and left. I was alone with Edward. Music was spilling out of the tent covering up the sound of croaking frogs.

"It appears that Jacob wasn't the only one trying to make someone jealous." I looked up at Edward. _Dammit. He must have read Mike's mind._

I cleared my throat. "I don't want to keep you from your date," I said with as much dignity as I could muster. "She's probably furious with you for leaving her alone for such a long period of time to tend to your ex-girlfriend."

"Yes…but I can run you home real quick."

"You okay?" Jacob had emerged from the tent and was walking up to me — a look of concern on his face.

"Yeah, thanks."

"You need me to take you home, or have you already covered that?" Jacob's eyes stared past me to Edward.

"Where's Kathryn?" I asked, avoiding his question.

"She's inside with the others." His eyes shifted speculatively from Edward to me. "So what…you two back together again?"

"We're friends, like you and I are friends," I said not wanting anymore complications tonight.

"Well, if you're friends with him like you're friends with me, you wouldn't be talking to him right now," Jacob said crossing his arms over his broad chest.

"He doesn't act like a jerk like you do at times." I returned his hostile glare. "And you can drop the act; pretending to be moonstruck with Kathryn. Edward told me what you are really thinking."

"Why don't you mind your own damn business, leech," Jacob snarled and moved forward.

"Amusing words coming from someone who couldn't wait for me to be out of the way so you could try again with Bella." Edward didn't move and grinned knowing he had gotten under Jacob's skin.

Jacob started shaking, which wasn't a good sign.

"Jacob, please go back inside. Edward can take me home." I started to worry about what might happen between the two. If Jacob lost his control, Edward would fight back. I had seen what a vampire could do against a lone werewolf regardless of how strong they might be. Plus the fact that Edward was at an advantage with his ability to read Jacob's mind. I didn't think Edward would kill Jacob, but he would be sure to leave a mark to remember him by.

"Is there a problem out here?" My heart sank at the sound of Sam's voice. I looked over to the entrance of the tent and there stood half the wolf pack: Sam, Paul, Jared, Quil, and Embry. One vampire couldn't withstand that many at one time no matter what their ability was.

"Sam, there isn't a problem." I went to place my hands on Jacob to push him back and Edward quickly grabbed me and pulled me away. His action only infuriated Jacob more.

"As long as what I have been around her, I've _never _hurt her more than you have."

"I want to keep it that way, dog." Edward's voice was low and the grin he had earlier had been replaced with a sneer.

"You know the rules," Sam said eyeing Edward.

"This isn't your land," Edward responded.

My heart continued to hammer out of my chest as the stare down continued.

"Jacob," Sam's voice rang with calm authority, "they haven't done anything to cause a fight."

"Yet." Paul grinned and licked his lips.

"This isn't the time or place," Sam continued ignoring Paul's remark. "There are innocents inside we have to think about. Come on." Sam placed a hand on Jacob's shoulder.

"Glad you're feeling better," Jacob said. I didn't fail to catch the note of sarcasm in his voice. Edward held his protective stance until the wolf pack was back inside the tent.

"Was that necessary?" I asked, the chill beginning to leave me. "You shouldn't provoke him like that. You know how he feels about me."

"So…I should keep quiet and allow him to insult me?" His eyes blazed with sudden anger. "He never lets a moment go by that he doesn't bring up my leaving you over a year ago, and I'm suppose to smile and keep my mouth shut? I wonder sometimes if your feelings for him isn't more than friendship." I remained silent. "It wasn't just Charlie's accident that caused you to break-up with me, was it?"

"Bella." I looked up, past Edward, relieved to see Carlisle. "Are you feeling okay?"

"I think I'm getting a stomach virus. Can you take me home?"

"Excuse me." Edward smoothed his navy tuxedo jacket. "I've left my date alone for too long." He turned and didn't say a word to Carlisle as he entered the tent.

I followed Carlisle in silence to his Mercedes and slipped into the passenger seat. The warm air did little to eliminate the cold shiver that spread over me as I remembered the sadness in Edward's eyes. It wasn't true what he thought. I loved him more than life — more than my life — but I couldn't risk losing Charlie. The only reason I wanted him to ignore Jacob was because I knew he could. There was no sense in asking Jacob to back down, but Edward was always more than willing to satisfy my request. Maybe I had finally pushed him too far. Maybe he would take his recent assumption and forget about me; move on with his life as I had pretended to move on with mine.

"I'm sorry about Edward showing up with Amber Peterson," Carlisle said, breaking into my thoughts. "He must have read my mind and found out you were going to the dance with Mike."

"Yes, he told me he did. I was counting on him to find out I was going. Jessica told me about the knock-out blonde he was seen with at the hospital." I laughed softly. "Jacob wasn't the only one trying to make people jealous."

"Neither were you." I looked over at Carlisle, confused at his statement. "Amber Peterson is Dr. Robert Peterson's daughter. He is the orthopedic surgeon from Seattle who has a local office here in Forks."

"Oh, Dr. Peterson? Yeah, I remember him." I saw him when I returned home from Phoenix after James broke my leg.

"Robert and I are good friends. Amber attends Washington State and is engaged to a guy who is in service overseas. She happened to be visiting when Edward asked her to the dance — just as friends. Amber knows there is nothing serious between them."

"How can you be so sure there isn't something there?" I was doubtful she was satisfied on merely being friends with Edward.

"The guy she is engaged to, they've been together for three years. Even if she happened to be interested in Edward…Bella, the feeling isn't mutual." I shook my head in doubt. "Edward's been distant…depressed since Christmas. He heard you were moving on with your life and…well, let's just say that the green eye of jealousy isn't just for humans."

"Carlisle, are you trying to tell me he was jealous of Mike taking me to the dance? Edward, who could have any girl he wanted in the whole world?"

"Edward, who could have any girl in the whole world but only wants one." Carlisle pulled up to my house and looked over at me. "Bella, I'm sure there is a reason that you chose to separate yourself for a time from my family — and you don't have to explain it to me — but you have to know how much Edward loves you. Sometimes he may over do it with gifts or seem over protective, but that's just because he doesn't want to lose you. Try and put yourself in his shoes: you live alone for over a hundred years and finally you meet someone who means the world to you. Those feelings you can't just sweep under the rug. Just think about it."

"Thanks, Carlisle. Tell Esme I miss her and I might call…if that's okay. I don't think Edward wants to talk to me right now." Carlisle nodded his head and I got out of the car.

Charlie hadn't made it home and I was happy to have the house to myself. There was a lot I needed to think about. I went up and changed for bed and slid under the warm sheets. My life had been miserable without Edward. I couldn't imagine continuing life without him. I glanced over at my window, missing the days he would lay down next to me and sing me to sleep. There was no question in my mind what I had to do.

The next morning I woke up feeling like a new person. I showered and dressed, then went downstairs to call the Cullens to see if it was okay for me to visit.

"Hello," Rosalie's voice came through the receiver.

"Rosalie, it's Bella. I was calling to see if it was okay for me to come over."

She paused before answering. "You do know Edward's not here?"

"I can visit with Esme or Alice until he gets back. I really need to talk to him."

"Bella, he left."

My body shut down. "Wh-where did he…"

"He left to stay with some friends in Egypt. I don't expect he will be back. Alice has left with Jasper to visit some friends in Alaska, and Emmett and I are going to be taking a trip to Japan. Esme will be here, I'm sure she will be happy to see you."

"Maybe I'll call her later," I whispered and hung up the phone. I collapsed on the floor, feeling the tightness in my chest making it difficult to breath. _He left you just like the last time_, I shut my eyes to block out the visions of that horrible day. But it wasn't just like the last time. I had driven him away this time; this time it was all my doing.

Charlie walked in the kitchen to find me hyperventilating on the floor.

"Bells, what's happened?" he asked with alarm in his eyes.

"He…he's go…gone," I sputtered as tears streamed down my face.

"Who?" Charlie grabbed a hold of me and helped me up. His arms went around me to stop my uncontrollable shaking.

"Ed…war…d…"

There was no one to blame but myself. I pushed away from Charlie and blindly made my way to my room. I fell on my bed as pain and regret started gnawing a hole in my heart.


	4. Chapter 4 March

Chapter 4

**March**

**Authors Notes: **Cruise tickets - $469. Hotel - $633. Plane tickets - $646. Writing a chapter about Bella Swan's spring break vacation - Priceless.

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

**BPOV**

"Isn't spring break a couple of weeks away?" Charlie asked as I stood to clear the dinner table. I only had to fix dinner the nights he didn't eat at the Clearwaters. When I was home alone, I skipped eating.

Charlie and Sue had started worrying about me the week after Valentines Day; the day I shut down. It had been on that day last month when Rosalie informed me that Edward had left the country and she didn't plan on his return.

"Yeah," I said filling the sink with water.

"You got any plans?" I shook my head, not saying a word. "Why don't you call up Angela and see if she wants to take a road trip or something."

"She and Ben are going to California for a couple's retreat. I'll probably just put in some extra hours at the library."

"Bells, you work all the time. You need to slow down and enjoy life. Didn't Edward give you two cruise tickets for Christmas?" I kept my back to him and grabbed the counter, my knuckles turning white.

"Yeah," I whispered, trying to block the memories of that fateful Christmas Day.

"Why don't you use them? Take a cruise to Porto Rico or the Bahamas."

"I wouldn't have any fun by myself. I may as well stay home and save money."

"Take someone with you."

I turned around and glared at Charlie. "Who, Dad? Jessica isn't speaking to me, which means Mike is out of the question. Everyone I work with has a family and plans. You don't want to go. I can't take Sue because she would be the one to take care of you in my absence. Angela has plans, I assume Alice is still in Alaska, and don't even mention Leah."

"Why not Jacob? He's out of school that week."

I turned back around and stuck my hands in the soapy water. "Even if Jacob and I were on speaking terms, which we aren't, I can't use Edward's ticket and take him; that wouldn't be right. I'm staying home and I don't want to talk about it anymore — please." Charlie mumbled something and moved into the living room.

I hadn't spoken to Jacob since the dreaded Sweetheart Dance. Sue casually mentioned that Kathryn Ortiz had moved to New York to work with a fashion designer. She said Jacob had been moping around but was sure it had nothing to do with Kathryn leaving, but the absence of someone else.

I finished cleaning up and retired quietly to my room. I checked my emails — thinking just maybe — but there was nothing. I crawled in the bed and stared out the window. I had ceased to exist since Edward left. There was something about his absence that caused my mind, body, and soul to malfunction. Though I had been the one to ask for some breathing room, it was different when I knew he was still in Forks — when he was only a call away. I had got what I asked for; he was leaving me alone.

The next day, Sue invited Charlie and myself over for Leah's birthday. I refused at first, but Charlie insisted. He laid the guilt trip on me and said how hurt Sue would be if I didn't go. "Don't go for Leah, but for Sue," he urged. I surrendered and went.

I hadn't expected anyone from the wolf pack to be there. Leah made it a habit of ostracizing herself from the rest of the pack. Things had only gotten worse between her and the others when Emily announced she and Sam were having a baby. I could only imagine how Leah must have felt and sympathized with her, though she never asked for my pity.

The only people at the Clearwaters were Charlie, myself, Seth, Sue, and Leah. By the look on Leah's face, she hadn't wanted a party. She sat in their recliner with a frown and didn't speak when Charlie and I arrived. Charlie disappeared to help Sue in the kitchen leaving me alone with Leah.

"How does it feel to be seventeen?" I asked sinking down on the couch.

"How does it feel to be nineteen?"

"Not too good," I replied. Although no could read my mind, it was no secret how upset I had been to find out I was the only one aging. Edward would always be seventeen — there was no changing that. Jacob and the others weren't aging as long as the Cullens were around. Leah was celebrating her seventeenth birthday, but she was still sixteen.

We sat in silence and watched a sitcom on television. Neither of us laughed.

After eating hotdogs, we pitifully sang happy birthday and watched as Leah, with one swift blow, blew the candles out on her cake without pausing to make a wish.

"I'm off to the movies," she announced going out the backdoor.

"What about the presents?" Sue called after her.

Charlie put his arm around her. "She can open them when she gets back. She would probably rather be alone right now."

After picking at my piece of chocolate cake, I excused myself and went outside for some fresh air. I laid on the hammock in the front yard and gazed up at the sky. It was twilight and the temperature was dropping. I pulled my jacket tighter and closed my eyes.

"Bella."

I glanced over to see Jacob standing a few feet away from the hammock holding a wrapped gift.

"Leah's not here; she went to the movies," I said shutting my eyes again. "There are some hotdogs left over and plenty of cake." I didn't hear any movement and peeked out of one eye. Jacob hadn't moved.

"I'm sorry." His voice broke with huskiness.

"What are you apologizing for?" I gazed over at him. He flipped the present between his hands and shifted from foot to foot.

"I was a jerk at the Sweetheart Dance. I should've kept my mouth shut and left you two alone. I just…" He sighed and his jaw tightened. "It makes me angry when people read my mind without permission. It makes me angry when an egotistical bloodsucker thinks that I could — would ever hurt you." Raw hurt glittered in his dark eyes.

"Edward only told me why you were with Kathryn to make me feel better." I sat up on the hammock. "I was jealous of you and her together."

Jacob's face relaxed a little as a grin formed on his lips. "I didn't think you were interested in me? I didn't think you cared who I went out with?"

"I care who you go out with," I said looking him in the eye. "I'll always care about you Jacob, though it may not be the way you want me to care for you. You're my best friend. I'm just getting really tired of having to straddle both sides of the fence, Jake — but I guess that doesn't matter anymore."

"Yeah, Seth mentioned he left. I won't say I'm sorry to see him go. Difference between him and me, Bella — I will never leave you. This is twice —"

"Jacob, this time is different than the last. I pushed him away. This time — he didn't even say good-bye." I stared at the ground as a tear leaked onto my face. Jacob reached out and pulled me off the hammock into his arms. I closed my eyes and let him hold me.

"So, am I forgiven?" I felt his warm breath against my skin.

"Sure, sure."

After a few moments, we pulled apart and walked inside. Jacob helped himself to five hotdogs and two huge slices of cake. We laughed and joked like old times; like we did before things were complicated.

"I've been trying to talk Bell into taking a cruise for her spring break," Charlie said as we relaxed in the living room. "How 'bout it Jacob, you up for a cruise?" I glared over at Charlie.

"Oh man, I would love to but I promised old man Keel that I would fix up his '56 Chevy. Plus, I don't have that kind of cash on me. I'm not going to let a girl pay my way."

"Everything's paid for except the food and extra spending. All she has to do is call up the travel agent and let them know what cruise she wants to take; airplane, cruise tickets, hotel stay — everything gets charged to Edward."

"Oh, well since he's paying for it I'm sure I can talk Mr. Keel into letting me fix up his car some other time. I would love to spend a week of fun, alone, out in the middle of the deep blue with Bella and have Mr. high-not-so-mighty pay for it all."

"I'm not going," I said, shrugging Jacob's arm off me. "I've already explained to Charlie that I didn't plan on Edward buying anything for me. And if I did go, I certainly wouldn't take another boy."

"Boy?" Jacob said.

"Male. Is that better?" Jacob didn't say anything.

Leah never returned home while we were there. We all said our good-byes and I promised Jacob I would see him soon. It felt good to have my best friend back, though he made it clear he was still going to try and win my heart.

I reprimanded Charlie on the way home for mentioning the cruise to Jacob. He apologized and thought he was doing me a favor. He assumed I was just too embarrassed to ask him and was only using Edward as an excuse.

"As much trouble as I've had between the two of them…Dad, you were only adding wood to the fire."

"You'll probably hate me for saying this, but…" He paused briefly before continuing. "I don't see Edward around, Bell. I don't see him trying to win your heart. True, he did after you called off the marriage…but do you really want someone who is so willing to give up, or do you want a man who is willing to fight? He should have learned his lesson the first time he left. I know now that if I had ran after Renee…maybe tried harder to get her back, we could have had a better shot at our marriage. I remember that mistake and I made a promise to myself that I'm not going to make the same one with Sue. As much as it hurts, I think you need to forget about Edward Cullen because…Bell, he's forgotten about you." Hearing the words come from Charlie made it all too clear.

I pulled up to our house and stared out the windshield.

"Are you coming in?" Charlie asked stepping out of the truck.

"In a little while."

He paused with his hand on the door. "I'm sorry if —"

"You just spoke the truth. The truth I've been denying."

Charlie closed the door and went inside. I sat motionless; unable to move my limbs, barely able to will myself to breathe. Edward had told me time and time again how much he loved me and I had believed him. He appeared devastated when I broke-up with him. He had fought Victoria and Riley to save my life. He had promised the Volturi that he would change me. He had promised me he would never leave again, yet I sat in Forks and he was in another continent. I stayed in the truck, remembering my past and contemplating my future, until the sun started to rise.

The Wednesday before spring break I was exhausted by the time I made it home from work. The kids were excited about the upcoming vacation and seemed to have forgotten their manners in the cafeteria. I kicked my shoes off, grabbed the container of strawberry ice cream from the freezer, and collapsed on the couch. I had just taken my second bite when the phone started ringing.

"'Ello," I mumbled, swallowing my ice cream.

"Bella?" Angela's voice sounded unsure.

"Hey Ang. Sorry, I had something in my mouth."

"I'm on my way home, can I stop by? I really need to talk to a friend." She sounded upset.

"They let you out of school early?"

"No. I'm skipping the next two days. I can't handle it right now."

"Sure, sure. The house is empty except for me. Come on over."

I put my ice cream up and threw a pizza in the oven. It must have been something big to upset Angela. Had Ben cheated on her? Oh God, was she pregnant? Her parents would kill her. I had about chewed my bottom lip off by the time she pulled up to the house.

"What's wrong?" I asked as she quickly walked in.

"I hate him. I wouldn't marry him if he was the last man on earth." She plopped down on the couch and dropped her head in her hands. I quietly sat down next to her.

"I guess you're referring to Ben."

"I told you we were going to a couple's retreat in California?" I nodded my head. "Well, some of his buddies asked him to join them for a week in Vegas. He forgot about our plans and paid his buddies the money he was going to take with us. He claimed he didn't know it was the same week, but how many freaking spring breaks do we get a year? Should I tell him it's okay to dump me for his buddies? Don't I have a right to be angry?"

"Sure, you have a right to be angry. If Edward ever…" I dropped my eyes to the floor.

"Oh, Bella." Angela grabbed my hand. "You know what we need? We need to take a trip. Just you and me. I still have the resort booked. We could pretend to be lesbians for a week."

I started laughing. "That sounds…interesting, but I think I'll pass."

"I hate the thought of Ben having fun in Vegas and me sitting around the house all week. I could strangle him."

Angela and I sat quietly on the couch.

"I think I have an idea." Angela's dark eyes turned my direction. "For Christmas, Edward gave me two tickets for a cruise. All I have to do is determine when I want to go and notify the travel agent. I have some money saved up, you have the money you were going to spend at the resort…how about we take a cruise?"

Angela's eyes sparkled with excitement. We ran up to my room and jumped on the computer. We agreed we wanted to go to some place tropic.

"Here are some cruises to Mexico that depart from California. It wouldn't take us that long to drive there," I suggested.

"Didn't you say Edward gets charged for everything except food and other expenses?" I nodded. "I say we make him pay — literally." Angela grinned and took over. "Here is one that leaves out of Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, going to Jamaica." Just in case it was booked, we found another cruise that looked promising. I wrote down the information and called the travel agent.

"Hello, this is Bella Swan. I was given two tickets for Christmas and told I could use them any time."

"What are the ticket numbers?" the travel agent asked with an English accent. I read the numbers off to her. "Ah, you are _the_ Bella. How can I assist you?"

"I was calling to see about using them in a few days, if that's possible?"

"Do you know where?" I gave her the information for the Jamaican cruise. "I'm so sorry, that cruise ship is full. You may be interested one of the European cruises."

"How about the six day cruise to Cancun?"

I listened as she punched keys on a keyboard. "Yes, there are still some vacancies…but I think —"

"We'll take it." I listened and wrote down the instructions, then hung up the phone. "We leave Friday morning." I grinned over at Angela.

She clapped her hands and squealed. "I'm not telling Ben. Of course I'll tell my parents, but it isn't any of Ben's business."

We were eating pizza and planning our trip, when Charlie came home and walked in the kitchen to get a beer.

"Angela, what are you doing home from school?"

"I was too upset to finish out the rest of the week. Ben and I argued because he messed up our spring break plans. I'm okay now, Bella and I are going taking a cruise to Cancun."

Charlie got strangled on his beer. "Cancun?" he asked when he was able to talk.

"Yeah."

"I don't like the idea of you two girls going to Cancun."

"Why not?" I asked clearing the table.

"Crime rate is high there. Don't you have to speak Spanish or something?"

"With as many Americans who visit every year, I'm sure there are places that are fluent enough in English. Bella and I took Spanish in high school. We should be able to get by."

Charlie eyed us both with a troubled look on his face. "I don't know. I still think you should look into going someplace else."

"Dad, first you get upset because I don't want to go, now you're upset because I'm going. People go there all the time. We're just going to hang out on the cruise ship then get a motel and relax on the beach. What can happen?"

I made arrangements to miss work Friday. After work Thursday, Angela and I went to Port Angeles for swimsuits, suntan lotion, disposable cameras, and Bonine for me for seasickness.

I was packed and ready early Friday morning and drove over to Angela's house. We decided to drive her car to Seattle. My truck could have made it, but it would have taken us longer to get there.

We arrived and went to the check-in counter. I handed over my identification and received our instructions. As we were going through the airport security, the guard informed us that the pepper spray Charlie had insisted on us taking was not allowed on the plane and they confiscated it.

We left Seattle and had an hour stop-over in New York. Then we left there and flew to Tampa arriving after ten at night. There was a limousine waiting to take us to our hotel and would pick us up in the morning to take us to the ship. Angela and I were too tired once we got to the hotel room to be excited.

The ship set sail early the next morning headed to Cancun. Angela and I made our way to our room and settled in.

"Come on," Angela urged. "Let's go on the deck and get some fresh air."

"You go ahead. I think I need to stay close to a toilet for the next few hours in case that Bonine doesn't work. I'll catch up with you later." Angela agreed without any fuss and left me alone.

I waited a few hours, and when I didn't get sick, I made my way out to the deck. The sun was shining bright and the smell of the ocean was exhilarating. I decided to walk around before trying to find Angela. It appeared almost all the passengers were people my age. We were all looking for a good time and an escape from the troubles back home. I found Angela sitting at a table, talking to a girl with very short bleach-blond hair.

"Bella," Angela called over to me, "did the Bonine work?" I nodded and approached the table. "This is Tasha Small. She's from Michigan and attends Syracuse."

"Hi." Tasha was small and very tan. I smiled and took a seat at the table. "Angela told me this was your first cruise," Tasha said smiling. "It's my third. I go to Cancun every year for spring break." Tasha was cruising by herself this year. Her best friend had come down with a virus two days before they were supposed to fly out. She had been tempted to stay with her, fearing to vacation alone, but changed her mind the last minute. Angela and I invited her to hang out with us since we weren't experienced travelers.

"The only thing we ask is don't mention guys," Angela said taking a sip of her cranberry drink. "This is a guy-free vacation. We're not going to talk about them and we're not going to worry about them."

"Hey, the only kind of guy I like is one who doesn't talk and offers what I need." Tasha's green eyes sparkled in the sun.

I was relieved Tasha was there. She and Angela played tennis and did wall climbing, while I found a lounge chair by the pool and settled down with a good book. At night we enjoyed the abundance of food and entertainment.

We docked at Cancun the next day. Tasha got Angela's cell phone number and promised to call and show us the sites. "The night life here is unbelievable. It's just one big party," Tasha told us. "You can get whatever you want, whenever, and ever how much you want." Angela and I just laughed and promised we would allow her to give us a tour.

We spent the next day relaxing on the beach, shopping, dining, and forgetting our troubles in Washington. Tasha called later to invite us to one of the main clubs.

"Ang, I think we should call her back and cancel." Angela had accepted Tasha's request before asking me.

"Come on. We're here to have fun. We don't have to party too hard."

Reluctantly I agreed to go clubbing. I wore my hair up in a ponytail, put on a pair of jeans and a new red tank-top I had bought at a souvenir shop, and my faithful tennis shoes. Angela wore white shorts and a white and pink halter-top along with heeled sandals. Tasha called us when she was downstairs with the taxi. She was wearing a lime green sequined dress that barely passed her hips. Her short bleached hair was spiked and unmoving. Though she was probably only five foot, the gold heels she wore increased her height by at least three inches.

"Ladies, are we ready to party?" she said, grinning as we met her in the lobby. I gave a nervous laugh and glanced over at Angela. She didn't appear to be worried at all and jumped in the cab. Slowly, I got in behind her.

The taxi drove us down Kukulcan Avenue, which was lined with people, clubs, and bars. Angela stared out the window gaping. After driving us a few miles, Tasha told the driver to take us back to the Coco Bongo, one of the most famous nightclubs in Cancun.

The club was two stories with booming music, lasers, and packed with people. I held onto Angela's hand as she followed Tasha who had to push her way through a crowd of people.

"It's time to party ladies," Tasha yelled to be heard over the music. She grabbed a glass filled with blue liquid and gulped it down in one swallow. "Welcome to the heart of Cancun!" She twisted around, jerking her head back and forth, and danced into the crowd.

The guy who had handed Tasha her blue drink was now offering two more to Angela and myself. I shook my head. "Angela, I think we should leave."

Angela smiled and leaned in so I could hear her. "I'm tired of always doing the right thing, aren't you Bella? Where does it get us? No Ben, no Edward. If they can be bad, why can't we?" She took the glasses from the server and offered one to me. I took it and we toasted each other. Unlike Tasha, neither of us could down ours in one gulp, though Angela certainly tried.

"Come on, let's dance!" Angela grabbed my hand and pulled me into the crowd.

"You know I don't dance," I said pulling away.

"Bella, no one here knows you. They will never see you again. For once, let go and have fun."

I allowed Angela to pull me into the crowd. The music was pulsating and the heavy beat could be felt underneath my feet. I closed my eyes and let go; let go of all my insecurities and all my worries, and let the music engulf my senses. I jumped, bounced, and twisted. I would have fallen more than once had I not been surrounded by so many people. I was like pinball in a machine.

When I finally stopped, I was pouring with sweat and started feeling queasy. The room began to spin and my head began to throb. Desperately, I started looking for an exit, pushing my way from the center of the crowd. I made it to the wall and began to feel for a door as I walked the perimeter. Luckily I found one, and made my way outside just in time to vomit at the side of the building. I grabbed my head with both hands hoping to stop the pounding. It wasn't working. It seemed there was more noise outside than there had been inside. The constant flow of vehicles and people was excruciatingly loud. Thankfully, there was a cool breeze and I was glad I had worn my hair up. I found a clean wall to lean against, sat down, and placed my head between my knees. My peace was interrupted a few times by guys and girls asking if I did favors. I shook my head and assumed they understood from my appearance I wasn't the partying type.

It seemed like hours before Angela stumbled out the front door dragging Tasha. She looked frantic until her eyes saw me and her body sagged with relief. She practically carried Tasha over to where I was sitting.

"Thank God. Bella, I thought I had lost you." She placed Tasha next to me on the ground and fell down beside her. "You were right, we shouldn't have come. I feel like crap. I don't know what was in those drinks, but I think Tasha had one too many. I found her on the second floor passed out in a corner. Someone stole her shoes." I laughed noticing Tasha's bare feet.

"Sit with her, I'll try and get us a cab back to the hotel." I slowly got up and steady myself before heading towards the street. Though the nightlife never stopped, the taxis were becoming few and far in between. I found one man leaning against a yellow cab, talking on his cell phone. There was no indication that he was available, but I didn't see any other cabs. I approached him, hearing the steady flow of Spanish coming from his mouth, and hoped he could understand my English. He stopped talking and looked at me curiously with dark eyes.

"¿Usted habla inglés?" I asked.

"Little," he said with a heavy accent. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Are you open?" He glanced around. "Me and my friends need a ride to our hotel."

"How many?"

"Just three of us. Can you take us?"

"Sí," he said, then paused. "I have errand first — in town."

"Oh, we can wait. We'll be right —"

"No," he blurted out. I was startled by his sudden outburst. Then he smiled and relaxed a little. "I may not stay open. Errand won't take long." I stared into his dark eyes and jumped when I heard Edward's voice.

"Don't do it, Bella. Don't trust him." I was instantly reminded of how I had visions and heard Edward's voice a year ago when he left me the first time. I had been desperate just to see him — hear him — that I was willing to put myself in harms way just for a fix of Edward. Why I started hearing him now was confusing. I wasn't looking to get into trouble, I was looking for a way out. Slowly, I started backing away from the driver.

"It's okay, I think we'll —"

"Bella, you found us a ride." Angela came up behind me. "Can you help get our friend in?"

"Angela, he has some things do before he can take us back to the hotel." I turned around and tried to catch her attention long enough to mouth the word no.

"Are you going to charge us if you to take us into town?"

"No," he said shaking his head innocently.

"Bella, I'm tired and really want a shower," Angela complained and turned her attention back to the driver. "Can you help put our friend in your car?" She motioned for him to follow her over to where she had left Tasha lying.

"Don't get in that car, Bella," Edward's voice warned me.

"What am I supposed to do," I whispered back out loud. "Angela isn't going to listen to me and I can't let her go alone with an incoherent person. It's your fault I'm here, so just leave me alone."

"Bella," Angela gave me a worried look, "are you okay?"

"Sure."

We placed Tasha between us in the back seat and the driver took off away from the beach. He was back on his cell phone, speaking hurriedly in Spanish. I glanced over at Angela and she just shrugged her shoulders. _So much for our Spanish classes in Forks,_ I thought miserably.

"I' m que le trae tres muchachas, sí, turista. Son sola." Luckily, I remembered some of the Spanish I had picked up when I lived in Phoenix, before I moved to Forks. I understood three females, yes, tourist and alone. My palms started sweating and my breaths became short.

"Bella, are you getting sick?" I couldn't say anything. Something was wrong — _this _was terribly wrong. "Driver," Angela tapped on his shoulder, "I think we need to pull over. My friend is getting sick back here. I don't want her to throw-up in your car."

"Un momento," he said holding up a finger. I glanced out the window and noticed that the glamour of the nightclubs were no more. The streets started looking run down and the buildings weren't booming with excitement. We were no longer in the wonderful tourist attraction that lured people to Cancun, we were inside the Cancun that Charlie had been worried about.

"Turn around," I shrieked at the driver. "Turn around now!"

"Bella, what's wrong?" Angela's voiced raised in panic.

"If you don't take us back right now, I'll…"

"What?" the driver sneered. "Muchachas, sola. They will pay very good, si?"

He picked up speed and was getting deeper into the city. Tasha was still out like a light; we would be getting no help from her. Angela was staring at me with a frantic look on her face. My mind raced, trying to find some way out. If we allowed him to continue — our chances didn't look good. I pushed the fear out of mind, trying to control my own panic rioting within me. Edward had warned me…Edward.

I leaned over Tasha's limp body and pulled Angela towards me. "Listen, carefully," I whispered. "You're going to have to jump out of the vehicle, Angela." Her eyes grew wide and she shook her head. "Yes, you have to. Take my shoes." I quickly took my tennis shoes off and handed them to her. Her hands shook as she unbuckled her sandals and gave them to me. "Try not to hit your head when you land. Roll." I glanced at the driver; he was back on the phone not paying attention to us. "Get to the safest place you can find. Don't stop until you find a safe place. A store or something." I couldn't think about there not being a safe place somewhere. "I need you to call Edward."

"Edward? Why —"

"Trust me, please." Edward was the only one I could think of who was capable of saving me — or at least finding me. I slowly said his cell phone number and had Angela repeat it.

"Bella, I can't leave you," she cried.

"We can't leave Tasha like she is. One of us has to stay with her. You're less clumsy and run a lot faster than I do." I smiled trying to stay brave. "Just please, find a way to call Edward. Do not call Charlie. I doubt the police would be any help either."

Angela nodded and squeezed my hand. She placed her hand on the door handle and took a deep breath. Without another word, she threw the door open and jumped out. The driver yelled in Spanish and slammed on breaks, sending Tasha and me crashing to the floor. I quickly got back up and looked out the back window. Angela was up and running.

The driver fumbled in his glove compartment and pulled out a gun. He quickly checked to make sure it was loaded. I looked back and Angela was still running but she was in clear view of the driver. Without thinking, I scrambled over Tasha's prone body and out the door Angela had left open. The driver aimed the gun, his finger on the trigger, when I grabbed his wrist. The struggle was short; with his free hand, he twisted my arm and jerked me forward. There was a pop and pain shot through my right arm. It was worth the risk — Angela was now no where in sight.

Oblivious to my pain, the driver hoisted me up and threw me in the front seat with him, mumbling to himself. He kept the gun on me as we continued a couple of blocks down the street. He pulled up to a three story building that looked as if it were barely able to stand on its foundation.

"Muévase, muévase," he yelled, jabbing the steel into my back. I hadn't put on Angela's shoes and the glass on the ground tore into my feet. There was another man standing at the front door. I quickly noticed he was armed with what looked like some type of machine gun, but I couldn't be sure; a gun was a gun to me. The driver nodded his head back towards the car, and the guy went over and pulled Tasha's limp body from the backseat and followed behind us.

There were more armed men inside and he led me around the stairs to the back of the building. When he wanted me turn, he squeezed my right shoulder, laughing as I gasped in pain. We came to a steel door that had a combination lock. He entered the code and the door slowly opened. The smell of urine and feces caused me to gag and my eyes to burn. He gave me a hard shove that sent me tumbling down the stairs. I hit and felt every step, and passed out when I hit the bottom.

I was hoping it had all been a bad dream; that I would wake-up in the comfortable hotel room with the ocean view. However, my pain was real and the smell was overwhelming. Slowly, I opened my eyes. I looked around a dim lit room and observed that Tasha and I weren't the only ones present. There were about thirty others crammed in the small room with us: elderly men, women, and children.

"I didn't think you were ever going to wake-up." Tasha was huddled close to me. She had a knot on her forehead and a deep cut on her cheek.

"Did they throw you down too?" I asked, wincing at my pain.

"I guess. I was so out of it…. Good thing I was drunk or I would probably have broken some bones. You look like hell." I didn't need a mirror to show me I looked as bad as I felt. "Can you tell me what happened? Where is Angela?"

I started from where Angela drug her out of the club. I told her about finding a driver and Angela's escape. I left out the part where my ex warned me not to get in the cab but I failed to listen, which caused us to be in the basement of a run down building in the middle of Cancun, with armed men upstairs.

"So you stayed behind for me?" Tasha asked as tears formed in her green eyes.

"She's going to get help. We're going to be okay," I assured her.

"How are they going to know where to find us?"

"Trust me," I said gently touching the dried blood on my forehead, "they'll find us." What I didn't — couldn't say out loud was whether they would find us alive. I was comforted with the thought that if I was going to die I had made amends with Jacob. I could die knowing that all was well with our relationship.

At the same time, I shuddered to think about the last conversation Edward and I had. Things had not left on such a positive note, thus the reason for my being in Cancun. My heart ached, not for me but for him. I knew what he had attempted the last time he thought I had died. It was that vision, seeing him broken — begging for his life to be taken a second time, which fueled my mind and body to stay positive and not give up. I refused to allow Edward to find me without a beating heart.

The door opened and footsteps descended down to our dungeon. The first man I didn't recognize. He looked to be a native of Mexico and the leader of this militia. The last man was the taxi driver. However, it was the man in the center who I couldn't take my eyes off of. Whatever kind of bravery and willpower I had before was lost. I knew, when I saw his pale skin and red eyes, we were all going to die — and how. Terror wrapped its black fingers around my heart and squeezed.

"¿Cuántos usted tienen para nosotros hasta ahora?" The vampires soothing voice asked in perfect Spanish.

I glanced questioningly over at Tanya. "He wants to know how many of us he has."

The leader gave a shaky laugh and promised more was on the way.

"_You understand the deal was for fifty?" _The vampire asked nonchalant.

"_Yes, you will have fifty, as promised."_

"_Felix and I will return in less than twenty-four hours."_

Felix. My hand flew up to cover my mouth as I let out a faint shrill. His eyes zoomed in on my face. I didn't remember seeing him in Italy and hoped, for my sake and the Cullens, that he hadn't seen me either. I refused to breath until he broke his stare. The fact I was still breathing told me he didn't know who I was; unfortunately, Felix would.

"_Twenty-four hours is not enough time," _the leader argued.

"_I said less than twenty-four. Don't worry, my friend, these you have down here plus half of your so called army will make fifty. In the meantime, I need someone to hold me over." _He turned and his eyes once again fell on me.

Tasha jumped up suddenly and smoothed out her dress. I tugged at her hand to pull her down, but she shrugged me off.

"I can't wait for your rescue that's not coming," she hissed. "I've got to get out of here. Anywhere is better than here. Who knows, he may want to keep me for himself."

I struggled to my feet and hollered in pain. The glass had become deeply embedded and I reached my good arm out to Tasha to steady me.

"You don't know what you're talking about," I said, unable to raise my voice above a whisper. "They aren't trafficking humans for sex or drugs like you think, Tasha."

"You don't know. What else is there?" I stared into her desperate green eyes. If I told her, she wouldn't believe me. If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn't have believed me either. I remembered all too well the group of tourist Heidi had led to Volterra. They were excited to tour such an ancient building with so much history. Their dying screams I would never forget.

"Americans." Every muscle in my body involuntarily tensed feeling his cool breath on my neck. "I like Americans. They are so…full-blooded." I understood his pun too well. His deep menacing laughter brought tears to my eyes. "If the lady is willing…or would you, my dear, rather go?" He traced the vein in my neck with is cold finger.

I stared at Tasha standing in front of me. I didn't want Edward to face losing me again. I had heard his voice and believed he still cared. On the other hand, Tasha didn't know what she was volunteering for. What kind of person would I be if I willingly let her leave with this…monster? Before I could respond, Tasha spoke out.

"You don't want her. Look, she barely stand. Besides, she's a stick in the mud." Without hesitation, Tasha roughly pushed me to the side. I lost my balance and fell hard to the ground. Stars danced in my head as I fought to stay conscious. "I'll give you what you want and more, if you just take me out of here." Tasha seductively ran her tongue over her chapped lips. I turned my head as a devilish grin formed on his face.

"Very well." He motioned for her to walk in front of him. Before he ascended the stairs, he turned back to me. "Later." All three men and Tasha disappeared and the heavy door shut behind them.

I glanced down at my red, swollen feet. There was no way I would be walking, much less running away. I turned to the small boy sitting closest to me. "¿Usted habla inglés?" He shook his head. I cleared my dry throat and addressed the rest of the room. "¿Usted habla inglés?" No one responded. I leaned my head back, closed my eyes, and hummed my lullaby.

There were no windows where they kept us; one dim light hung from the low ceiling. There was no way to tell if it was day or night. Since being thrown in, I had lost all sense of time. The ones who couldn't hold their bladder, the far corner became their bathroom. I tried to block the smell by using a trick the nurse in Seattle had taught me to block the smell of blood. The method worked as well as it had then — very little.

Hope started to slip through my fingers. The vampire would be back soon and he would be bringing Felix with him. Edward had promised the Volturi I would be changed by now. I was sure Aro, Marcus, and Caius hadn't received word that Edward and I were no longer together. _I forgot to cancel their wedding invitation, _I chuckled to myself. I envisioned of how it would all play out. Felix would drag me back to Volterra as proof that the Cullens were liars and I was still human. They would hold me until the right moment, then they would use me as an example as to why humans were not allowed to know about their kind. Edward would try and save me…or maybe not.

What if Angela had called him and he didn't care? I started hyperventilating at the thought of being utterly abandoned. Despair set in as I realized no one was coming to save me. Everyone in the small room watched as I fell apart. Unlike words, emotions are a universal language.

The door opened again and I braced myself for the appearance of Felix. A body came rolling down the stairs and landed brutally on the ground. The door closed, but the body remained motionless for a few minutes. I began to wonder if the person was alive. _Did vampires drink blood from a corpse? _I questioned silently. The body was a male, wearing jeans, a green hooded sweatshirt that covered his head, and white tennis shoes. No one made a move to help him. I started to crawl towards him, but the slightest movement of my arm was almost unbearable.

Suddenly, in one swift movement the boy rose and brushed himself off. My mood changed instantly from despair to hope. Slowly, he turned around until his amber eyes met mine. The strained look on his face immediately turned into a broad smile. I cried out and tears fell on my cheeks as Jasper kneeled before me.

"Bella, how bad are you hurt?" He backed away slightly noticing my bloody feet.

"My arm — I think it's broke. I've got glass in my feet. My head feels like a bowling ball."

"Okay, wait." He stared past me at the wall.

"Jasper, we don't have time to spare." I grabbed a hold of his sweatshirt with my good arm. "This guy is going to come back…soon —"

"Okay, Bella. We're trying —"

"Felix is going to be with him, Jasper. The Volturi is in on all this."

"Volturi?" Jasper's eyes narrowed questioningly at mine.

"I didn't know the guy who was here earlier and he didn't recognize me…but Felix will. He said they would be back in less than twenty-four hours and it's been….I don't know how long I've been here."

"Bella, you're not making any sense. The Volturi kidnapped you? They did all this to get you…but they don't know they have you, or do they?"

"I don't think they sought me out personally, but _they _are the reason we are all here. Don't forget, they don't know I'm not one of _you_, but if we don't get out of here now, they will." Panic started to rise in my voice.

"All right. I guess we better be going. There's not enough time for a plan. If the Volturi are involved…"

"They are. It was obvious the others knew who they were and why they wanted us, I just don't know what they're benefiting from it."

"We have time to worry about that later. First, we have to get you out alive."

"'We'?"

"You didn't think we would let him come alone, did you?" Jasper's teeth sparkled white. "If he had come by himself there is no telling what would have happened. He became frantic when we smelt your blood and we had to restrain him. I don't know how long—"

Without warning, Jasper quickly crouched down in front of me, and a low defensive growl erupted from his chest. My heart ceased beating as the door above us began to open. Just as sudden as Jasper's body tensed, it relaxed.

"I got the combination without using violence." His voice was what had kept me going. I struggled to my feet, ignoring the pain, and peered around Jasper. Edward quickly move down the stairs and stopped as his eyes met mine. "She's right. We have to leave…now. We can talk later. Rosalie and Alice are…entertaining the two guards at the door while Emmett's keeping watch. There are close to a dozen men a few doors down having a meeting about the very soon arrival of Felix and Christian. About another dozen are upstairs…preoccupied at this time, but I'm willing to bet it won't last long." Edward walked around Jasper. A muscle flicked angrily at his jaw as his dark eyes took me in. "I think you remember how this works," he said, his mouth curving with tenderness.

"How are we going to get the rest out?" I asked, still holding onto Jaspers arm. Jasper and Edward exchanged a look.

"Bella," he spoke softly, "you are the reason we're here. I came to save you — not them."

I stumbled back and leaned against the wall. "We can't leave them. You know what is going to happen to them. What about the kids, Edward? I can't leave knowing I left them to die."

"We don't have time to argue about this." There was agitation and impatience in his tone. "_You _know what will happen to _us _— to you when Felix comes. Bella, this is no time to play the martyr. Now, get on my back and let's go…now."

"I'm not going." I lifted my chin and met his icy gaze straight on.

"Do you want to die? Do you want to kill me?"

Jasper placed a hand on Edward. "Maybe we can at least get the kids out. I can carry a few, with Bella on your back you can carry a couple." He looked at me. "Will you leave with us if we get a few of the kids out? Please?"

"You're vampires. Shouldn't you be able to save them all?" Edward closed his eyes and starting pacing the small room. Jasper gently placed both hands on my shoulders. The coolness of his touch eased the pain in my arm.

"Bella, yes we could save all these people; however, we would certainly have to kill a majority of the guards. Even though that probably would be justified, knowing the Volturi are involved complicates matters. It's going to be suspicious enough getting you out without being noticed. Just us being here is dangerous considering our last visit with them. We're risking a lot volunteering to take some of the kids. We need to play it safe and let the authorities save them. Let's get you to safety and notify the police."

"They won't get here in time," I argued. "I know I'm asking a lot from you, but I can't…"

"Bella," Edward's eyes looked sad and lovingly into mine, "we can't save all these people just like we weren't able to save any that day in Italy. Please, I'm begging you, let's go. We didn't come all this way to die."

I went to grab onto Edward and groaned in pain when I tried to lift my right arm. "I'm not going to be able to hold on to you."

"I'll hold on to you." He scooped me up in his arms and I wrapped my left arm around his neck.

"How are you going to be able to carry any of the kids?"

"Bella…" I closed my eyes and turned away from his face. I knew he wouldn't be carrying any out. Neither would Jasper; the risk was too great.

"La policía será aquí pronto ahorrar el resto de usted. Por favor, permanezca tranquilo," Jasper addressed the people. Some cried, some smiled, some remained doubtful.

"He told them the police would be here to save them and to remain calm," Edward translated for me. "Ready?" I turned my head to his chest, shut my eyes, and held on tight to his marbled neck. The wind on my skin sent chills through me despite the warm air. As quickly as it started blowing, it stopped.

"You're safe," Edward murmured, his lips against my hair. Reluctantly, I released my hold on him as he eased me onto the grass.

I looked around not knowing where I was. "I'm I still in Mexico?"

He chuckled lightly. "I'm fast, Bella, but not quite that fast." His dark eyes quickly surveyed my appearance. "You're shoulder seems to be dislocated. We're going to have to fix that — you're not going to be happy. We've got to get all those pieces of glass out of your feet if we don't want them infected."

"Edward." I gazed at him, tears falling from my eyes. "Thank you for coming. I know you didn't —"

"Bella," he cut me off, "don't ever thank me for saving your life." His fingers brushed my cheek. "You are still the most important person to me — even though I may not be yours.… My love for you will never change."

"I called you to apolo—"

"We've go to go," Rosalie said as she and Alice came running towards us.

"Did you know Felix —"

"Is he here?" Edward asked standing up.

"So you knew?" Rosalie glared at him.

"Jasper and I just found out."

Alice knelt next to me and gave me a quick hug. "Come on, Emmett and Jasper are bringing the cars around. We can talk back at the hotel."

Edward carried me where two black SUV's were idling. Emmett only smiled and shook his head when he saw me. Edward got in the back seat with me and Jasper took off, followed by the other three Cullens in the vehicle behind us. I leaned against Edward and slept peacefully.

When I woke-up, Edward was sitting in an armchair next to my bed. It was apparent he hadn't eaten in some time. His usual amber eyes were the color of coal. I moaned in pain as I tried to sit up.

"We're going to have to fix you're shoulder," he said with eyes full of worry.

"Is Carlisle here?"

Edward shook his head. "I can do it. We've got morphine we…borrowed from the hospital. I also need to take all that glass out of your feet. I would have done it sooner, but I didn't want to disturb your rest."

"Where is Angela?"

"The others have been keeping her company."

"Has she asked about Tasha?" I asked swallowing a lump in my throat.

"She did, but I told her I didn't know anything about her."

"She volunteered to go with…" my voice faded. We sat in silence for a few seconds. "So, how was I rescued?"

"Money. We paid them whatever they thought you were worth. She doesn't know there were others who were kidnapped — or why."

"Do you know why?" I asked, not sure if I wanted to hear his answer.

"In exchange for humans, the Volturi are supplying them with money and weapons."

"Wouldn't that be considered against their rules?"

Edward lightly shrugged. "They're corrupt; like most governments." He kept his eyes averted from my gaze.

"What are you not telling me?"

"Nothing you need to worry about."

I sighed showing a sign of irritation. "You always do this. You shut me out. Look at what all I've been through. Do you honestly think I'll fall apart so easily?"

He shook his head and smiled. "No, you're much tougher than you look." He paused, then said, "I just don't like the Volturi getting so close. Let me rephrase that: I don't like you getting so close to the Volturi." I remained silent, understanding his concern.

"Charlie is never going to let you out of Forks," he said, grinning over at me.

"Does he know what happened?"

"No one does, but how are we going to explain your injuries — this time?"

"I'll just continue with my vacation and come up with something. I'm sure Angela won't say anything."

"You're not getting back on that cruise ship," Edward said. "With your luck, it will be taken hostage by pirates, then I will have to save you — again."

"You enjoy saving me, admit it." I smiled.

"I enjoy hearing your beating heart. I enjoy seeing your cheeks turn scarlet. I enjoy watching your chest rise and fall. I enjoy…" He sighed. "There's so much I enjoy that I can't stay away from you."

"I'm sorry I involved you, but I didn't know who else to call. If I had known the Volturi was involved, I wouldn't have asked for you."

"If not me, then who?" he asked staring into my eyes. He quickly shook his head. "Doesn't matter. I was on my way here when Angela called me panicking. Alice had a vision of you being taken. She notified me and I immediately caught the quickest flight to Cancun."

"But Alice didn't see…what was his name?"

"Christian." Edward's lips drew into a sneer.

"I didn't remember seeing him in Italy."

"He wasn't there. He's sort of their here-and-there guy. He doesn't hold any type of special power, so he's not as high up as the ones you met. If I had to label a power for him, it would be the ability to annoy you with just a look. He never had to speak to get under my skin."

"So you know him?"

He smiled. "It's very important for our kind to know all those involved with the Volturi."

Later, Edward gave me enough morphine to make sure I didn't feel a thing when he, along with Rosalie, put my shoulder bone back in place. He patiently sat at the end of the bed and removed all the glass from my feet, then cleaned them with soap and water, applied antibacterial ointment, and securely wrapped them with gauze. He ordered me to stay off my feet for a couple of days.

After the two days were up, we all packed and flew back to Seattle. I walked with a slight limp and my arm was in a sling. We decided to tell everyone I had an accident at the hotel. Angela agreed without hesitation; she wanted our traumatic vacation to be a secret and pretend we'd had the time of our lives.

Edward carried my luggage to Angela's car.

"Are you coming back to Forks, or…" I asked Edward while he carried my luggage to Angela's car. He smiled, his eyes sparkled with humor and tenderness.

"I had thought about it."

"Why wouldn't you? I mean…unless there's someone else — somewhere."

His smile deepened into laughter. "Bella, there has never been anyone but you. When are you going to believe me?" I remained silent and bent my head to the ground. He placed his cool fingers under my chin and lifted my face to met his gaze. "I'm sorry I left last month. I have a bad habit of running away when things become too difficult for me to handle. I promised I would never leave you, yet again…" I reached up and touched his face. The sadness and regret in his eyes was almost more that I could take.

"All is forgiven. I'm the one to blame this time. I was acting foolish and irrational." I gazed into his eyes; everything took on a clean brightness whenever he was around. I was powerless to resist such a perilous attraction. "I'm in love with you. I always have been and I know it will never change. I just…I can't leave Charlie yet, and I don't want to keep you waiting…but I don't want to loose you…" I floundered in an agonizing maelstrom. Edward held me close to him.

"You don't have to worry about loosing me. Bella, I've waited for over a hundred years to find you; I'll wait a hundred more if that's what it takes." He pulled back and wiped the tears off my face. "I love you more than anything. I promise to give you some breathing room if you promise to never doubt my love for you." We sealed our promise with a kiss.


	5. Chapter 5 April

Chapter 5

**April**

**Authors Notes: **Senior prom is a memorable event. For Embry, Jacob, and Quil — it might be a little too memorable and one they'd rather forget.

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

**JPOV**

Bella had returned from her spring break vacation with more physical damage than what she had left with. When she came home, so did the leech. I was certain he was the reason for the shape she was in, but she firmly denied that he had anything to do with it — and of course those who didn't know any better accepted her excuse. Wall climbing accident my ass. Whatever had happened, it was obvious that she and the leech were together again.

What it was that she saw in the guy was beyond me. Seth said it was his good nature. I doubted that; I had never seen the guy smile unless he was making me angry. Sam just shrugged and said it might be their rendition of our imprinting. Quil told me that maybe if I acted mysterious and dark instead of happy and carefree, that might attract Bella more. Embry told me to be more romantic; take her to a nice restaurant and dancing. When I told him Bella didn't dance, he responded by saying she just hasn't had the right partner. Paul said we should let him transform her into a vampire, and then we would have a reason to fight and kill all of them. Needless to say, Paul and I fought over that comment. Of course Leah had to put in her opinion (which no one ever listens to) and said I should grow up, take my loss, and move on. Yeah, right.

During my spring break, I worked and completed rebuilding Mr. Keel's '56 Chevy. He bought all the parts and paid me for the labor. After I proved that I was capable of completing the task, he offered me more work. I had to rummage through the junkyard full of old vehicles that he owned, and find the ones I thought were salvageable. Once I had them rebuilt, he would take them to car auctions and I would receive a small percentage of what he sold them for. Wasn't a bad deal, so I took it.

Embry, Quil, and I planned to go to the movies to see one of the new releases Quil had been dying to see. I was going to pick them up, but was running ten minutes behind schedule. I had lost track of time working on an old '67 Ford Mustang GTA. When I pulled up to Embry's house, Quil was already outside waiting for me.

"Thanks for being punctual, man."

"Things like this happen when you have a job," I bit back. I blew the horn signaling to Embry that we were leaving. He came storming out of the house with two sandwiches in his hand and jumped in the front seat.

"Hey," he yelled when I snatched one. "I'm starving."

"You'll live," I joked stuffing the roast beef sandwich in my mouth. I frowned when I tasted the mustard, but it didn't stop me from eating the rest of it.

"Have you finished that Cobra you were working on?" Quil asked from the backseat.

"Yeah, I finished it a few days ago. Mr. Keel wants to wait for me to finish this old Mustang before he heads to Seattle for the auction."

"You going with him?"

"Nah, I prefer to work behind the scenes."

Embry rolled down his window and pulled out three dyed eggs from his pockets. He started peeling them and throwing the shells out the window.

"Dude, aren't those like a week old?" I asked showing distaste at his actions.

"Yeah, they're left over from Easter." He finished peeling one and stuffed the whole egg in his mouth. "They should still be good, right?" he asked with his mouth full of food. I rolled my eyes and prayed he didn't get sick in my car.

The movie turned out better than I'd expected; westerns were not my forte. Afterwards, we stopped by a pizza joint in Port Angeles. The large crowd wasn't unusual on a Saturday night. The three of us crammed into a small corner booth and ordered six large one topping pizzas.

"Our senior prom is two weeks away, why don't we triple date?" Quil asked dousing his pizza with parmesan cheese.

"Who you taking, Claire?" Embry said jokingly and I laughed with him. Claire was only three years old, but she was the one whom Quil had imprinted on.

"Ha, very funny. I'm taking March Stevens. She wanted to go with Lawson Williams, but he already asked Sarah Thomas. She asked me if I was going with anyone and I told her I hadn't planned on going at all. She practically begged me to take her."

Embry and I shared a glance before we busted out laughing.

"Sure, sure."

"Embry, you shouldn't be laughing. I know you've been holding out on us." Embry gave a swift kick at Quil under the table.

"What?" I asked looking back and forth at my friends.

"You haven't heard?" Quil placed his legs up on the booth. "Jacob, where have you been for the past two weeks?"

"In Forks," Embry replied with a sly grin.

"Our buddy, Embry, has caught the eye of Delicious Delilah."

I choked on my pizza. "Delilah Flores?" Quil closed his eyes and slowly bit into his pizza, nodding his head. I looked wide eyed at Embry next to me.

"It's no big deal. I haven't given her a definite answer."

"What are you waiting for?" I asked.

"Eh, I just don't feel anything for her."

"Come on." Quil chuckled. "Every guy, whether they want to admit it or not, feels _something _for Delicious D."

Delilah Flores was eighteen and very mature in the ways of the world. There was not a male on the reservation who had not had some type of erotic fantasy without Delilah playing the star role. She was too flirtatious for me, but still if she were to offer her services I'm not for certain I would decline.

"You don't know her Quil. You shouldn't be talking like that about her."

"What's to know? She's built her reputation on screwing every guy, including teachers and people who don't even go to the school."

"So you're making judgments on her by what other people say? What about their reputation? What does it say about them? She gets branded as a whore while they get an at-a-boy pat on the back?"

"Chill out, Embry," I said. He got up and stalked to the restroom.

"What'd I say?" Quil asked, his brown eyes wide in alarm.

"Just drop it." I shook my head at Quil's lack of comprehension. He was a smart guy, but he lacked some common sense. He was the person who laughed last at all the jokes. I waited for the light bulb to go off over his head.

"Oh," he responded as if on cue.

No one in the tribe was sure who Embry Call's father was. Rumor was that it was between mine, Quil, or Sam's dad. All the women on the reservation talked about his mother's scandalous ways. It was embarrassing to hear the stories then try to hide the information from Embry; I'm sure none of us had been successful. He never mentioned to any of us whether he wanted to know who his father was. I never asked Billy, though I had come close on a few occasions. Quil didn't seem to care and Sam ignored the accusation all together.

Once Embry cooled off, he came back and Quil and I continued to eat our pizza.

"Who you gonna take?" Quil asked me.

"I don't know. I probably won't go."

"I thought for sure you'd ask Bella," Embry said.

"She doesn't like social events. Anyways, I doubt she would be able to disconnect herself from the parasite long enough to do anything with me." I was determined not to let their relationship get me down — so far I had been unsuccessful.

"You could always take Leah," Quil offered.

"You take Leah," I shot back.

"Uh-uh, she likes you — not me."

Everyone, including Sam, thought Leah had a crush on me. I was the one who had prevented her from getting killed during our last battle with Victoria and those stupid newborns. For my bravery, I received numerous broken bones, which didn't take as long to heal as it would've for a normal human, but was still just as painful. They all believed her eyes got dreamy in that moment. If she felt that way towards me, she never let anyone in the pack know. She was the best at covering her thoughts. She only let us hear what she wanted us to.

"Well, maybe Embry will take her. If he's worried about Delicious D seducing him, I guarantee he won't have that problem with Leah." I kicked one of Quil's shins and Embry kicked the other.

Sunday Charlie called and invited Billy over to watch a baseball game. Dad jumped at the opportunity to watch the game on Charlie's fancy television — courtesy of the Cullen's. Bella was outside raking leaves into one large pile in the front yard when I pulled up to the house.

"Bella."

"Billy. Jacob."

"Bella."

She held the door open as I pushed Dad's wheelchair inside.

"I've already set the dip and chips on the table. Charlie is grilling steaks in the backyard and I have some potatoes in the oven." Then she glanced at me and asked, "Are you staying?"

I shrugged my shoulders in response. "How is your shoulder?"

"Still sore, but Carlisle said I should start moving it some to keep it from getting stiff."

"He's a doctor — he should know." I followed her outside and got a rake to help with the yard work. "I guess our summer bike escapade is out of the question now."

"What makes you say that?"

"You and the bloodsucker are back together, right?"

"So. Edward and I have an understanding."

"Oh. Does that mean you are aloud to speak for yourself now?"

She laughed and smiled at me. God, how I loved those beautiful brown eyes.

"Yes. I don't think he would mind me taking a bike ride with you…but Jake, I still need let him know."

I rolled my eyes. "He won't let you."

"He will."

She walked inside and came back out with two bottles of water. I put the rake down and joined her on the front steps of the house.

"Are you ever going to tell me what happened during spring break?" I asked taking a large gulp of water.

"No." Her eyes avoided my gaze and her expression was strained.

"That bad, huh?"

"Jacob, I don't want to talk about it."

We sat in silence a while longer. The breeze was picking up and the leaves we had raked into a neat pile started flying away. I wasn't sure if it was my uncanny sense of smell, but the aroma from the steaks Charlie was grilling caused my stomach to growl.

"What are you doing in a couple weeks? You and Eddie got big plans?" I asked.

"Not that I know of. What about you?"

"I'm just going to work at Mr. Keels and stay home. Quil's going to prom with March Stevens and was trying to get Embry and me to go with him."

"It's your senior prom Jacob, you should go," she encouraged me.

"I'm not going stag, and I'm not showing up with Embry on my arm. I'm not going."

"You mean to tell me, a hunk like yourself can't find a date?"

"I'm telling you , a hunk like myself doesn't want to go with just anyone." I looked over at her hoping to pull off my sad puppy dog look. I knew it worked when she looked back at me and shook her head.

"Oh, no. Don't even think about asking me Jacob." She got up and went for her rake.

"Bella, it's just one night. It's my senior prom. One of the most important, memorable nights of my life."

She turned and spoke with quiet, but desperate, firmness. "Jacob, please, ask me to do anything else other than that."

I was unable to control the smile on my face. "Marry me."

Her face began to blush. "You're not funny." She closed her eyes and when she opened them again they were filled with compassion. "Jacob, you know I love you and would do anything for you…except…"

"Except he won't let you, right?" I felt the anger starting to radiate inside of me.

"It has nothing to do with him."

"You wouldn't even have to dance. Just go as my date for one lousy night. Please?" I was on my knees begging her, holding her hands when the silver Volvo parked behind Bella's Chevy truck.

"Well, at least he knows his place," Edward said in his too smooth, cocky voice.

"This is between me and Bella — do you mind? Why don't you find a squirrel or rabbit to snack on."

"I've already eaten, thank you." He stood behind Bella and looked down at me. "Why don't you call Kat in New York to go with you — or does her nickname repulse you?"

"The only name that repulses me is vampire."

"Guys, please," Bella said. She tried to pull her hands away from mine, but I wasn't giving up. She glanced back at Edward. "Do you mind waiting for me inside?" I turned my head when he kissed her on the cheek. He chuckled at my response and made his way inside the house.

"He's still listening, you know," I told Bella. She gave a light understanding nod.

"Jacob, I wish you wouldn't do this to me."

"I wish you wouldn't make the answer so difficult."

"I didn't. I said no, but you won't listen."

"I never heard a no, Bella," I argued. "You never said you wouldn't go with me, you only asked me to give you another option. So which is it: prom or marriage?"

She sighed. "I'll have to get a dress."

"A white dress?"

That got Edward's attention. He came storming out the front door. Bella passionately moved in front of me.

"Edward, you promised."

"Bella, there are a dozen other girls he can ask to accompany him."

"It's just one night — his senior prom. Even you said how important these experiences are." She placed her small hands flat on his chest as if she could push him back.

"Listen," I said brushing the dirt off my knees, "if it makes you feel any better, I could arrange for you to be real close by. Leah Clearwater doesn't have a date yet, but I wouldn't put it off much longer. I think Embry is getting desperate."

"If Bella didn't care about you so much, I would rip you apart right now starting with your tongue."

"Huh, I'd like to see you try." I welcomed the challenge to prove to Bella what her hero was made of.

"You two are impossible." Bella stomped inside the house leaving Edward and me staring at each other.

"The dance is going to be on the reservation. You won't be able to keep watch on her there," I warned putting all joking aside.

"I'm well aware of the boundaries as I have told you time and time again. I know you think I don't want her around you because I'm fearful she will leave me, but you have it all wrong. I trust Bella — completely. And I hate to admit it — but I trust you." He must have noticed the surprise in my eyes because he smiled. "Yes, Jacob Black — I don't like you, but I trust you won't harm her. Who I don't trust are the others in your pack."

"It's your family you need to be leery of. If my memory serves me right, wasn't it Mr. Feelgood who tried to eat her?" I was quick to notice, and enjoy, his grimace.

"Jasper didn't intentionally want to hurt Bella…just like I know Sam didn't intentionally want to hurt Emily. But I fear there may be some in your pack who don't agree with Bella's relationship with both parties, and they may be more than willing to see harm come her way."

"If you're just coming up with reasons to make me not want to invite her to La Push, then you're wasting your breath."

"Just keep both eyes on her, mongrel."

"Oh, I will." Edward paused and gave me the go to hell look. I grinned and winked. When I returned later to pick Billy up, Bella and Edward were gone.

I stayed busy during the weeks leading up to the prom. Mr. Keel was more than pleased when I completed the work on the Mustang and gave me a hefty paycheck. Mrs. Ateara agreed to loan us her beat-up van to pick our dates up for the prom. I spent a few days working on it, trying to make it look half-way decent.

For two weeks, I kept thinking about what the parasite told me. Was there someone in the pack who would harm Bella? Paul was always the first and only person I could think of. He had always been very open about his feelings regarding with my relationship with her, but that was only because of her close relationship with the Cullens. I honestly didn't believe he would ever hurt her. I pushed the thought to the back of my mind and assumed the only reason Edward had warned me to watch out for the pack, was on the possibility that I would retract my request for Bella to accompany me to the prom. No such luck, leech.

The day of the prom, I drove my Rabbit to Forks to pick up Bella. From there, we were going to meet Embry at Quil's house and take the van to pick up their dates. I felt awkward and out of place in my rented black tux. In the seat next to me was Bella's corsage. Mrs. Stone had been La Push's florist since I was in diapers. I had described Bella and explained our relationship to her; what she ended up giving me was a single lavender rose, adorned with a couple of white periwinkles, accented with pearls and a white chiffon ribbon.

My palms were sweating like crazy when I pulled up to her house. I was disappointed that the silver Volvo wasn't there; it would have been nice to relieve some of my tension on the bloodsucker.

When Bella answered the door, she took my breath away. She looked like an angel, smiling at me with her brown eyes — her complexion was white and illusive pink. She was wearing a coco colored dress that came just above her knees. The dress appeared to be silk and had a large satin bow high above her waist.

"I got you a corsage — I hope you don't mind. It goes with my boutonniere." I took the corsage out of the box and slipped it on her wrist.

"It's lovely."

"I thought Edward would be here to see us off."

She shut the door behind her and locked it. "He was here earlier, but I made him leave while I got dressed." I held the car door open for her and my heart skipped a beat or two when her dress rose a few more inches up her thigh.

Embry was fidgeting outside of Quil's house when Bella and I arrived. He had decided to accept Delilah's invitation to the prom only a few days ago. Quil told me that he thought Embry actually asked Leah to prom, but she turned him down leaving him no other choice but to take Delilah. Now, his nerves were probably telling him he should have just gone stag. He had his white jacket off, the sleeves on his white shirt rolled up with the collar unbuttoned, and sweat pouring down his face.

"Embry, if you don't calm down you're going to have a heart attack before Delilah has a chance to give you one," I joked walking up on the porch.

"I - I don't think I'm going to go." He plopped down on a chair and wiped his face with an already wet handkerchief.

"Your nerves will ease off once we all get together," Bella said giving him a warm smile and pat on the shoulder. Embry took a deep breath and smiled back at her.

Quil came out of the house grinning in his black tux and swinging the keys to the van around on his finger. We piled in the old maroon Ford van and headed down the road to pick up Quil's date.

March Stevens was a short, stocky built girl. She had long, black hair, which she normally kept twisted in a bun and tonight it was no different. She wore a short, burnt orange dress that was nothing but ruffles from her waist to her knees. She was a pleasant, intelligent girl who never met a stranger and got along with everyone. There was not a person in La Push who didn't smile at March Stevens when she smiled at them.

She got in the front seat of the van next to Quil and smiled over her shoulder introducing herself to Bella. Once the formalities were out of the way, we headed further north to pick up Delicious D.

Delilah Flores reminded me of a very good girl gone very bad. The fact was that she had never had the reputation of being good. She was average height with short deep auburn hair. Her father was Quileute but her mother was full blooded Irish. Even though she was known as the town slut, all the girls at school got along with her. Delilah never had to go after someone else's boyfriend because there were plenty eligible ones going after her. Everything about her was sensual; her walk, her talk, her appearance, her laugh…everything.

Embry tripped getting out of the van to go up to her house, but he was able to catch himself before he took a fall. The rest of us sat in silence, watching the innocent boy as he met the vixen. Her father, a large man who constantly kept a frown on his face, came to the door. I wondered whether he knew the truth about his daughter's many extracurricular activities. He disappeared and Delilah came walking out of the house. Her emerald green dress looked like it could have been painted on. The slit on the side went above her mid-thigh, revealing a shiny tan leg. With the type of dress she had on, ones imagination didn't have to work so hard.

Embry helped her in the van, making sure she didn't stumble because of the spiked heels she was wearing. She and March exchanged hellos as she sat down next to the window behind Quil. Embry shut the door and we waited for Quil to take his eyes off the reflection of Delilah in the rearview mirror and take us to dinner.

Once the van started moving, Delilah turned around in her seat and addressed Bella. "So, you're the one who has our Jacob's heart?" The smile she offered held no animosity.

Bella glanced in my direction. "Jacob and I are best friends."

"It's nice to finally meet you." Delilah winked at me then turned back around. I gave a nervous laugh and looked over at Bella whose eyebrows were raised curiously. I gave a quick shake of my head and shrugged my shoulders. Delilah had never shown any interest in me before now. I wasn't even aware that she knew who Bella was. Someone in our pack must have been running their gums.

Though myself and the guys would have preferred to eat at a restaurant that had a buffet, we decided to be civilized and take our dates to one of the best seafood restaurants at La Push. It was located on the beach and for a little extra money, they would seat you on the patio facing the ocean. It was a perfect scenery with the sun slowly setting over the water and a light salty breeze in the air. Me and the guys ordered steaks, March ordered pasta, Delilah ordered lobster, and Bella ordered a salad.

There was not a dull moment at our table. March and Quil kept the conversation at a steady flow talking about anything and everything under the sun. Once in a while Delilah's hand would disappear under the table and Embry would jump causing a sly grin to form on Delilah's lips. Once, Embry jumped a little too high knocking the table causing Bella's drink to tilt. Luckily, I was quick to catch it before it had a chance to douse her dress. She breathed a sigh of relief and cut her eyes my direction with a thankful smile.

Our school was modestly decorated with gold and white streamers and balloons. A majority of our student body was already present by the time we arrived. Bella moaned when they announced the seniors and their dates individually before we walked over to get our pictures. She was a good sport; I didn't have to beg her but five times to allow them to announce our arrival and only three times to take a picture with me.

We found a table close to where they had designated a dance floor that had white paper mache lanterns hanging from the ceiling. The tables were covered with gold material and a small lamp was placed on each one. The DJ had his table set up in the front on a small wooden stage with the music blaring from speakers that were set up in four different locations.

Delilah drug Embry out to the dance floor, March went from table to table chatting, and Quil headed to the refreshment table, while Bella and I sat down and watched everyone. Several people came up to our table and introduced themselves to her.

The DJ announced the next song, opening the dance floor to seniors only. The steady beat died away and a soothing saxophone came over the speakers. Couples made their way up front and started swaying to the music. Bella stood and held her hand out to me.

"Come on, senior."

"Bella, you don't have to dance with me."

"I know," she said and continued to hold her hand out. I took her small hand and led her into the crowd.

She placed her hands on my shoulders and I gently placed mine on her waist and we began to slowly move side to side.

"This is nice," she said.

"Aren't you glad I tricked you into coming?"

She laughed. "Not really. But being I have to suffer through it — it isn't so bad."

"I remember dancing with you at your junior prom," I said smiling down at her.

"So do I. Billy paid you to go to my prom to warn me to stay away from Edward."

"Didn't work."

"I don't like being threatened."

"He didn't really threaten you."

"Oh, so the statement 'we'll be watching' wasn't meant to be a threat?" I remained silent. That was exactly what Dad had sent me there to do. If Bella continued her closeness with the Cullens, Dad was going to tell Charlie the ugly truth about what they were. It was against our rules to expose them, but Bella was like family and we had to protect our own. "He only made me angry and determined to do just the opposite of his demand."

"Are you telling me that if I hadn't shown up and told you to stay away from Edward, you might not be with him now?" We had stopped moving and were just standing in the middle of the dance floor talking.

"No. I was already in love by then. It just gave me a boost of determination to hang on to him."

"Bells, are you sure it's love and not some mind control he has over you? I don't trust him."

"No, you wouldn't." She rolled her eyes. "Jacob, I know it's love. He has no mind control over me at all. He can't even read my mind."

"Huh. So I _am _facing a losing battle here." The light was starting to reach the corners of my closed mind. I had taken her break-up with Edward as a sign that she wasn't sure of their love. I had been trying to sway her decision for over two years, yet she consistently told me she could only ever love one person and it wasn't me. I couldn't accept that. I had never felt for anyone the way I did for Isabella Swan. Though I hadn't imprinted her, there was always hope that one day.…

My eyes zoomed towards the doors and I saw Paul frowning at me. "Great, what now?"

Bella turned and followed my stare. "He doesn't look happy."

"You can take a break from your duties. Let me go see what he wants." Bella ignored my comment and followed me over to where Paul was standing. Quil was already standing next to him popping pigs-in-a-blanket in his mouth two at a time. Embry was right behind Bella and me.

"Paul, what's up?"

His eyes flashed over at Bella. "We need to talk — in private."

"Whatever you have to say can be said in front of her," I said beginning to lose my patience with Paul's hatred towards Bella.

"Okay. Brady ran and told me that Seth was patrolling the south border when he picked up a scent."

"What kind of scent?" I asked not liking what I was hearing.

"What kind do we smell for?" Paul snapped.

"Is it a Cullen?" Quil asked glancing back at the refreshment table. He had run out of food.

"I don't know. I came to ask our _leader _if he wanted to check it out." Sam and Emily had left two days ago to visit one of Emily's dying aunts in California. They weren't expected to be back until next week, which meant I was in charge of the pack.

"The Cullens wouldn't be on your land. They know the rules," Bella spoke up defending her future family.

"He might not have been able to help himself," Paul said showing his evil grin.

"No, it's not them. Seth would have known if it was one of them." I thought about young Seth out there alone. "I guess I need to see what's going on." I looked over at Bella — concern was in both of our eyes.

"You want me to hang out here and keep an eye open in case what they're looking for is here?" Paul asked glaring at Bella.

Edward's warning popped in my head. Paul was the main one I didn't trust around her. If I couldn't keep both eyes on her, I wanted to keep eyes on him. "No, Quil and Embry are more than capable of watching things here. Why don't you accompany me to find out what Seth knows?" It wasn't a request — it was an order.

Bella grabbed my arm. "Jacob, I think _all _of you may need to check it out." There was clear panic in her eyes.

"Bella, it's probably just a bloodsucker that doesn't realize they're trespassing. We won't fight them, just run them off our land — that is if they are still on it."

"What if they followed me here?"

"Who?"

"The Volturi," she whispered and my eyes widened. I had been quickly carried off the battlefield before they had arrived. The Cullens didn't think it was a coincidence that they came _after _the battle with Victoria and the newborns. They also didn't want them to be aware of our existence, so we had to quickly leave the area. Wasn't easy for me — the damage I had received during that fight was still very fresh on my mind.

"It's been almost a year since they've been here. There's nothing that would suddenly draw them here again, and that pixie vamp would have warned the rest of the leeches that they were coming." The look Bella gave me told me that something had indeed happened which involved the Volturi and she hadn't bothered to tell me. "What?"

"Are you gonna stand there all day and chat, or are you coming," Paul hissed from the doorway.

I looked around the room. "Where's Jared?"

Embry shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. He and Kim were supposed to be here. Maybe something came up."

"Yeah, maybe they found something else better to do," Quil said smiling at his own comment.

I looked over at Embry and Quil. "Make sure you stay with Bella. Don't let her out of your sight." Then I turned to her. "I'll be careful, don't worry about me. And please, don't leave without me. Stay inside." She nodded and I turned and walked out.

Paul and I quickly disappeared into the woods. I put a hand out and stopped him. "Let me take this tux off before I phase." Paul sighed impatiently. "It's a rental. I'm sure they wouldn't appreciate it if I brought it back ripped in shreds. Besides, I would look pretty stupid coming back to my prom naked." And I was coming back.

Phasing was costly. My clothes and shoes were becoming scarce. Usually, I had a pair of extra shorts handy, but I hadn't planned on them being needed this evening. I quickly took off my tux and hung it on a tree limb. I had hoped that all I had to do was phase and be able to hear and communicate with Seth without having to go very far. At times our most annoying talent could come in handy.

As soon as I was undressed, I phased. I had done it so many times, it was like second nature to me — which I guess it is. I ran about a mile and listened for Seth, but there was nothing there. I glanced back at Paul who was now in his wolf form.

_Do you hear anything? _I asked.

_No. I don't like silence._ I nodded my head in agreement and we took off in a southward run.

Seth was young but had been impressive in our last battle with Victoria. Edward gave him nothing but praise on how well he helped him fight, and claimed that he would had been in trouble had it not been for Seth's help. While Victoria held Edward's attention, Seth kept her right hand vamp, Riley's attention. Seth tore him limb from limb and received the packs and the Cullens admiration. He and Edward had become close friends since then. If anything had happened to Seth….

We were getting close to where Paul said that Brady told him Seth had picked up the scent. I slowed my pace and stretched my senses out. I didn't get anything.

_I smell Seth, but that's all, _Paul said confirming my findings.

We continued a couple of more miles and came through a clearing. Seth was sitting on a tree stump reading a book and jumped up as we cautiously approached.

"I've been up and down the border twice. I was just going to read a few chapters in my book, then check again."

I jerked my head around and Paul made a quick sweep of the area. Nothing. Something was very wrong. I didn't want to take a chance on it being some type of set up, so I indicated for Seth to phase so we could communicate. He placed his book down and took his shorts off. I was impressed with his phasing technique; it reminded me of a trapeze artist.

_Have I done something wrong? _he asked looking worried.

_Brady told Paul that you picked up on a scent. What happened?_

Seth shook his sandy colored fur head. _I haven't seen Brady. I don't know what you're talking about. There hasn't been any activity on the south end of our border._

Paul and I glanced at each other. Yeah, something was terribly wrong. My heart started beating and my stomach tightened. Quickly, as if a ghost was after me, I ran north; my large paws never touched the ground at times. Seth was close behind me and Paul brought up the rear.

_You're gonna have to phase and change back into your gorilla costume. Seth and I will do a perimeter check. _

However, our plans changed the closer we got to the school. I didn't slow down until I saw Bella kneeling next to a lump of fur the same color as her dress, which was now covered in blood.

Bella looked up at me, tears streaming down her face. "Jacob, he needs help — now!"

I took my pants in my teeth and moved behind a tree. Quickly I changed from wolf to man, and put the black pants on.

"What the hell happened?" I rushed over to where she was. Paul had changed and was in his shorts. Seth continued to stand in wolf form and whimper for a fallen brother.

"I don't…I don't know," Bella stammered. I pulled her up and looked her over. She didn't appear to be harmed except for some scraps on her knees. "Collin came rushing inside and said something to Embry."

"Collin? He's supposed to be monitoring the northern border." I glanced over at Seth and he shook his large head. No sign of Collin still around.

"Embry and Collin went back outside, and the next thing I know there is hollowing. A bunch of the kids screamed and Quil took off out the door. When he didn't come back after a minute, I ran outside to see what was wrong. I couldn't let them get hurt protecting me." She closed her eyes and shook her head. "I expected to see _them _fighting with Quil, but instead I saw Quil confronting two other wolves. When he turned to glance at me, I - I thought I saw panic in his eyes. One of the wolves ran after men and Quil stopped him but was attacked from behind by the other wolf. I started running back towards the school to get help from…somebody, and fell. I turned to see them…Quil, he…. One of them started towards me again and stopped suddenly. They must have heard you guys coming. Jacob, I'm sure it was Embry they drug off."

"Drug Embry off, where?" Bella pointed a shaky finger over to her right. That was when I noticed the other pool of blood on the ground. Seth automatically took off following the trail. I glanced back down at Quil. He had lost a good amount of blood and was still unconscious in his wolf form. We had to get him to safety. _Where the hell is Jared? _I thought to myself. _And where the hell are Brady and Collin?_ There were a few other stains on the ground, but I couldn't determine who they belonged to without phasing. I couldn't phase and get Quil to safety.

"Bella, where is Brady and Collin?" Paul asked.

"I think they were the ones who were attacking Quil and Embry."

Paul and I exchanged glances. Seth came back shaking his head. "You didn't find him?" I asked and once again he shook his head. "Did you pick up any other scent?" Seth's head steadily moved side to side indicating no. "Paul and I have to get Quil home." We picked him up and placed him in the van.

I put my white shirt on and put my jacket over Bella's cold shoulders. Then I went inside and explained to March and Delilah that an accident had happened and we had to leave. Delilah was more understanding than March; maybe it was because she had already attached herself to someone else. I told March I could send someone to take her home, but she said she would find her own way.

We quickly made our way back to my house and placed an injured Quil on the bed in my room.

"I'll call Carlisle," Bella said making her way to the phone. He had been the one who helped me when I had been seriously injured.

"What happened?" Dad asked.

"I'm not really sure."

The door flew open and Seth came running inside. "Back there, Embry's blood trail suddenly stops. It doesn't make any sense."

"We have to find Brady and Collin and see if they can enlighten us," Paul said trying to control his anger that was building.

"Carlisle and Edward are on their way. They should be here…very soon." I didn't have to look into her eyes to see the tension already starting to build. Edward had warned me of the potential danger and I didn't listen. I hadn't even followed his instruction and kept both eyes on Bella. Thank God she was still with us and only suffered scraped knees.

"I'll wait until he gets here before going back out and investigating the site."

I didn't have to wait long. Moments later, Edward and Carlisle came rushing in the house.

"Where's the patient?" Carlisle asked holding his black medical bag. I motioned him inside my room, keeping my eyes averted from Bella and Edward's reunion.

"I'm gonna see if I can find Brady and Collin," Paul said walking towards the door.

"Not by yourself. I don't want any of us trailing off alone. Take Seth with you," I ordered.

"Who is gonna go with you back to the site?"

"I'll go," Edward volunteered.

"And leave the princess unattended?" Paul sneered.

"Carlisle is more than capable of protecting her if need be."

"Alright, it's settled. Paul, you and Seth find Brady and Collin. See if you can locate Jared too. He needs to be aware of what's going on and we'll need him. I'll call Sam later." I looked over at Edward. "Are you ready?"

He lightly kissed Bella on the lips and walked with me out the door. "Try to keep up," I said running and phasing without breaking my stride and without changing out of my tux this time. _Damn, that's gonna cost me._

Unfortunately, Edward didn't have any trouble keeping my pace as he followed me back towards the school. I told him everything I knew, which wasn't much: Brady had lied about a vampire being on our land to drag me away from the school. Collin called Embry outside and an apparent fight broke out. Quil went to find out what was going on and they attacked him. When Bella went outside, they went after her. That information caused an unpleasant sound to come from him. They took Embry somewhere and left Quil to die. By the time I finished my story we were outside of the school. The prom was over and the only people present inside were parents cleaning up. _So much for my senior prom_, I thought miserably.

"At least it was a memorable one," Edward replied.

_This pool of blood is Quil's_, I said. _This is where we found him and Bella. She thinks they heard our approach and it scared them off._ I walked a few feet from that location. _This is Embry's blood. Not a lot of it, but the fact that it is enough to be on the ground is worrisome. _I did as Seth had done earlier, and followed the trail of blood. Just as Seth had said, the trail just stopped. _It's like he was beamed up by a UFO. There is nothing._

Edward's eyes scanned the area. He walked fifty yards in each direction from where the trail stopped. Each time he came back empty handed. "He couldn't have just vanished," he said more to himself than to me.

_Well, apparently he did. Question is, now where is he and how bad is he hurt?_

"And why did they take him? What is their purpose behind all this?" He continued to scan the area, his brow scrunched in thought. "How often do you speak with Brady and Collin?"

_What do you mean?_

"How close are you with them?"

_They are part of the pack! What kind of dumbass question is that?_

"The kind of dumbass question that is important," he said not losing his temper. "How often do you guys have meetings? You have never picked up on anything in their thinking that would give you a hint that something was off?"

_Are you blaming this on me?_ I was starting to get offended by his line of questioning. I didn't know whether it was because it was Edward who was asking, or if it was because he was actually insinuating what I had already thought of myself.

"I'm not blaming anyone, Jacob. I'm just wondering how long they have been planning this, why, and if they are capable of coming up with such a brilliant plan by themselves."

_So you believe that Brady and Collin aren't victims, but they are now the suspects? You think they would kidnap one of our own and leave another to die?_

"Look at the facts before us, Jacob. You said yourself that Brady lied to get you out of the picture. Collin lured Embry outside. Do you smell either of them here?" I didn't respond. "That's a mystery in itself. I see other blood stains that don't belong to Embry or Quil — or even Bella, but those stains have no scent."

I was silent. _To be honest, I rarely pay them any attention. If they were having any kind of wicked thoughts, chances are I wouldn't have noticed either way. They usually remain quiet and hang out in the back during our meetings. Seth may know more about them than me — but I can't think of a single reason they would want to hurt Quil or Embry._ The thought of our own brothers attacking us was sickening.

"Well, there is nothing here," Edward said stating the obvious. "Let's hope Paul doesn't kill them when he finds them so we can find out where they took Embry." He glanced over at me. "Jacob, it's not your fault. It could have happened even with Sam here."

I didn't say a word, just took off back towards my house. I paused when I heard Leah's message before I started gaining speed again. My prom night, the most exciting night of my life, had turned into a nightmare. Leah and I almost collided head on.

_Where did it happen at? _I asked.

She glanced at Edward and growled. _You can follow me — I don't trust his kind. His leader almost disemboweled me when I went to your house looking for you._

"Carlisle was protecting Bella. We aren't sure where your allegiance lies."

_My allegiance lies with the pack! _Leah yelled, her fur standing out.

_Now is not the time, Leah, _I said gaining control of the situation. _Embry is missing, Quil is out, only God knows what is going on with Brady and Collin, Sam is out of town, and now Jared…. Just lead the way, Edward and I will follow._ Leah wasn't thrilled that I was siding with the bloodsuckers, but she didn't have a choice in doing as I commanded. She took off without so much as a glance back.

We traveled north of the school about fifteen miles and then cut back to the east. As we approached the highway, the state police was still on scene of the accident with their emergency lights flashing red and blue. A wrecker was there pulling Jared's blue Honda Civic from out of the woods. The front windshield was missing and traces of blood were on the hood and inside the front seats. Also on the hood were several deep impressions.

"Yes, deep enough to have been caused by a large wolf — or two," Edward said out loud what I had been thinking.

We hid and waited for everyone to leave the scene before we advanced to inspect the area. Just as it had been with Embry, Jared's blood trail went about fifty feet then just disappeared. Leah, Edward, and I went in different directions to see if there was some clue as to what happened. The possibility of Jared being ejected so far from the vehicle was not unfathomable. Yet there was no sign of him anywhere.

_No sign is a good sign, right? At least he isn't in Kim's condition,_ Leah said with genuine concern. Kim Connweller was Jared's fiancé, his lifetime partner he had imprinted on. She had been in the car with him on the way to the prom when they wrecked. Leah had been able to find out that they flew Kim to Seattle due to a head trauma; she was in a comma when she left.

Edward informed us that he had read the police officers mind and that they believed Jared had been drunk when he wrecked and thought he had killed Kim. He wasn't a victim — he was running scared. Knowing what happened to Embry, we knew better than to believe such nonsense.

We returned to my house and Paul and Seth were inside — they had been unsuccessful in locating Brady and Collin.

"I spoke with their parents and they haven't seen them since this afternoon," Paul said showing signs of distress. "I want to find out what the little bastards have been up to."

"I'm going to continue to patrol the area," Seth announced.

"You will do no such thing," Leah said giving him a stern look. "You will go home, I'll patrol the area."

"You take the south end and I'll take the north end," I said.

"Should someone stay with Quil?" Seth asked wanting to be used in some capacity.

"If they didn't take him when they took Embry, I wouldn't think he needs guarding," Edward said offering a smile to his friend.

_I wonder how he would be acting right now if it was Seth missing, or Bella, _I thought staring in his direction.

"You wouldn't want to be around me," he answered without looking at me but looking at Bella who was standing too close to him.

"Why wouldn't I want to be around you?" she asked looking upset.

Edward shook his head and smiled. "I was answering Jacob's nonverbal question."

"If Billy doesn't mind, I would prefer if I stay the night," Carlisle said. "Quil isn't out of the woods yet. He did regain enough consciousness to phase back human, but just enough. I'm keeping him sedated so he can heal, but I'm not sure of the severity of his injuries — if any. He did lose a good amount of blood which will keep him weak."

"Stay as long as you need to," Billy said.

"He is going to make it, right?" I asked hopefully.

Carlisle smiled. "Yes. He is going to live."

"I'll take Bella home and stay with her tonight," Edward said placing his arm protectively around her — where my arm should have been.

"Why do I need protection? It wasn't anyone with the Volturi who did this. They seem to be after the pack. If anything, you need to hang around here to make sure they don't need assistance."

Leah and Paul laughed. "We can handle it, thank you," Paul spit out sarcastically. "There is still the treaty to consider. I wouldn't want to mistake you for an enemy."

"Thank you for caring, Bella," I said ignoring Paul, "but now we know what to look for. We're prepared now."

"Besides," Edward said steering her towards the door, "we can't be perfectly sure what their reasoning is behind the attacks. I'm not taking any chances with you."

He led her out the door and opened the car door for her. She started to get in and ran back up the walk.

"I almost left with your jacket." She slipped the black jacket off and handed it to me.

"Thanks," I said as my hand covered hers to take it back. "I'm going to have to pay for the whole tux anyway."

She smiled. "Sorry your prom got ruined."

"Wasn't your fault."

"Wasn't yours either, Jacob. What happened tonight couldn't have been stopped. It could have happened on Sam's shift too." Funny — that was exactly what Edward had told me. That just reminded me of how close the two of them really were.

"Sure, sure."

She looked up at me with her sad brown eyes. "Please, be careful. Don't be so anxious to play the hero."

"I thought you liked the hero type," I said glaring behind her at the ultra white bloodsucker leaning against his shiny Volvo.

"I like the smart type; the ones who use their brains." She placed her small, pale hands on the side of my cheeks and tilted my face down to look at her. "Promise me — no superhero tricks."

"I'm far from being a superhero, Bella."

She sighed and removed her hands, satisfied enough with my answer. "I'll call you tomorrow." She lightly kissed me on the cheek before running back to her prince and getting in his car. She waved as Edward backed out of the drive and sped off up the road.

"I'm heading over to Brady's," Paul said stretching his back. "You gonna be patrolling tonight, right?"

"Yeah. I need to call Sam first." That was a phone call I was not looking forward to making.

Paul smiled as if he understood. "If I see them, I'll give a shout out." He took off into the woods at a steady trot.

Leah and Seth left shortly afterwards. Dad checked in on Quil one more time before he retired for the night. Carlisle took out a book from his medical bag and made himself comfortable on the couch. My home wasn't as lavish as what he was used to, but he never complained. Carlisle was okay — for a parasite.

I picked up the phone and dialed the number Emily had left with me in case of an emergency. There was no bigger emergency I could think of.

"Hey, this is Jacob Black, I know it's late — but I really need to speak with Sam Uley." The young girl who answered didn't sound like I had woken her up. There was some noise in the background then shuffling of feet.

"Jake, what's wrong?" I gave a heavy sigh and told Sam how the pack had been picked apart. "I'll be on my way home."

"Sam, I'm sorry. I shouldn't —"

"Jake, none of us knew. Don't you dare go blaming yourself for this. I'll be home tomorrow afternoon."

Sam tried to make me feel better, but the only thing that was going to work was if we found Embry, Jared, Brady, and Collin. I remained in a state of self-pity and self-loathing for the remainder of April.


	6. Chapter 6 May

Chapter 6

**May**

**Author's Notes: **_"Life is the only art that we are required to practice without preparation, and without being allowed the preliminary trials, the failures and botches, that are essential for training." _Lewis Mumford.

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

**JPOV**

The building looked vaguely familiar, but I couldn't place it. The windows were busted and it looked as if it had been abandoned for years. However, we all agreed this was the place where Embry and Jared were being held. What we didn't know was if they were still alive.

The six of us split up, stealthy making our way towards the structure through the overgrown brush. I eased up to the broken window on the west side and peered in. Embry and Jared were in human form bound to a wooden pole with ropes. They both looked injured, but were still alive. Brady and Collin were in their wolf form pacing in front of their captives. They showed no acknowledgment of our presence. We had assumed since we were unable to read their thoughts — they were unable to read ours. So far that appeared to be the case.

_We enter from all sides at the same time, _Sam ordered. My fur stood on end telling me something was wrong; something just didn't seem right. _Seth and I will enter from the front, _Sam continued, _Quil and Jacob enter from the west, Paul and Leah enter from the east. Let's try not to fight, but if we have to in order to save our own, don't hold back._

_On my count of three: One, two, …_

As we jumped through the windows and door, something happened. Without any warning, Sam, Paul, and I were human again. I looked around for the others, but Quil, Leah, and Seth were nowhere to be seen. Embry and Jared were still bound; Brady and Collin were still in their wolf form with their lips curled in a nasty snarl — baring their canines as salvia dripped onto the stone floor.

Once inside, I noticed someone standing to the left of the prisoners. For some reason their form was unclear, like a phantasm of some sort. I glanced over at Sam and Paul, but they showed no sign of concern.

I began to pour sweat and my pulse started racing. The black-haired bloodsucker we killed over a year ago, and the red headed bitch we had assisted the Cullens in annihilating appeared out of nowhere. _Now I know we are going to die_, I thought to myself trying to grasp the reality of the situation. Unless a miracle happened and we were able to phase, or Brady and Collin snapped out of whatever "trance" they were in, we were going to die.

"It will all be over very soon my pet," the male leech cooed patting Brady on the head. "You will be very well rewarded for your faithfulness."

I was trying to think of ways to at least cause harm to these bastards, when a sudden movement to my left caught my eye. I did a double take at the sight my great-grandfather, Chief Ephriam Black, standing next to me.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I asked glancing once again over at Sam and Paul. I was beyond disbelief when they didn't seem to notice our new guest. My attention turned back to my great-grandfather. His kind eyes held more knowledge than I could ever comprehend.

"Brains are better than brawn. Sometimes, rules have to be broken in order to save those we love. It's better to admit you need help rather than to die with pride."

"What are you talking about?" We were in a middle of a major battle — facing death — and he was speaking in Morse code? He only smiled, then vanished. I stared at the empty space next to me replaying what he had said. When I turned back around, I was face to face with the male parasite.

"Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth, limb for a limb." I was immobile as he drew his hand back with a vicious smile on his face and swung.

_Beep - Beep - Beep - Beep…_

I slapped the alarm clock next to my bed and threw the sweat soaked sheets off my drenched body. That nightmare hadn't been my first since my dreadful prom night. Every night it was always the same.

Since prom night: Embry's mother had him entered as a runaway; the state police had an APB out on Jared; his fiancé, Kim, was still comatose at the hospital in Seattle; Brady and Collin's parents also entered their sons as missing.

Quil gave us a statement of what had happened to him that night. "I was standing at the buffet table refilling my plate, when Collin came running in and started pulling Embry out the door. I put my plate down and started to go with them, but Collin said it wasn't a dire emergency — he just wanted Embry to check something out. The next thing I knew, there was a howl of pain and I went running outside only to find Brady and Collin in wolf form dragging an unconscious Embry by his pants leg. I immediately phased and tried to stop them, but there was some type of block in our communication skills; they weren't answering any of my questions. Their thoughts were like a blank page.

"When Bella ran outside — things got difficult. Once they saw her, I had a sick feeling they wanted her too. Collin stalked towards her and I attacked him from the side — not to cause severe damage, but to stop him. When I turned, Brady viciously attacked me from the back. They were so strong. They didn't fight like young rookies, but seasoned vets." This information didn't make any of us comfortable.

Carlisle Cullen had met with Sam and offered his family's services in helping locate Embry and Jared. Sam declined in a polite manner; we didn't need assistance — especially from our enemies. Though they hadn't been too proud to ask for our help in their battle against Victoria, we didn't want their noses in our business. This was a problem in our pack. Plus, we didn't trust them. Seth was the only one who wanted the Cullens' assistance. He wanted to argue on the Cullens behalf, but smartly bit his lip before telling Sam how childish he was being.

Needless to say, Bella and I hadn't seen each since prom night. Edward continued to keep a close watch on her. We spoke here and there on the phone, but not without the presence of a Cullen around. There was no way he was allowing her at La Push until our problem was taken care of. The pack was down by four and we had to work in teams. We were doubling up our boarder patrols, which left me no free time to break away and see her in Forks. At the rate our investigation was going, Bella would be married and moved before I would ever have a chance to be alone with her again. The thought sickened me and made me a very irritable person to be around.

There was only one week of school left. Graduation was a week away, but the party our tribe had planned was now postponed. No one felt like celebrating; the tension in the pack was at an all time high.

I hadn't thought about what I had planned on doing after graduation. The idea of having to go right back to school after thirteen years of wanting to be finished seemed idiotic. Dad and I hadn't discussed my future and I hadn't applied myself toward any kind of a goal. Now it seemed even more ludicrous to think about my future when everything was so out of whack.

"Jacob, why don't you take a break," Mr. Keel said. I was over at his junkyard working on my latest prize: a 1967 Chevy Camaro. The only time I was happy and able to forget some of my problems, was when I was working at Mr. Keel's. I glanced over at him and wiped the sweat off my brow. He placed a beer bottle on the table and sat down popping the lid off his. "Come on, a guy your size, one won't even phase you." He smiled and waved me over. I grinned back and put down my wrench.

Mr. Keel was in his seventies and his health seemed to be in mint condition. A lot of people on the reservation thought he was a grouch and a lot of the times he was; however, he and I got along just fine. When he wanted to talk, I would talk; when he wanted peace, I would ignore him.

He never spoke of his family. I was told that his wife died twenty-three years ago and he had one daughter who never visited. One of his rules was that I was not allowed inside his house. Another rule — I was never to ask him personal questions. That rule didn't cover me.

"What's been on your mind, son?" he asked as I relaxed in the green, plastic lawn chair.

"Just thinking about my graduation — it's in a few days. I haven't a clue what I'm going to do afterward."

"Sure you do."

I was stunned by his sense of certainty.

"Do you want to let me in on it then?"

"You have a gift, son. Not many people your age — hell, not many men in general have the ability to put together a machine the way you do. That's your gift, so use it. I'll make you an offer: I'll pay for you to go to a mechanic school to learn some of that newer electronic mumbo-jumbo crap, you can continue to work for me, and when you're finished…who knows what doors it will open for you."

"You want to pay for my schooling?" No doubt the old man was becoming senile.

His laugh ended in a coughing spell. "Let's just say you're paying for your own schooling. With the money I have made off the cars you have fixed, there is more than enough divided between the two of us that would cover your college."

"You've already given me my percentage of the sales, Mr. Keel. It wouldn't be right to take the money from you."

"You're not taking it, my boy — you're earning it. Big difference."

"I don't know." It was too much think about. I would rather put the thought of school on the back burner.

"I know you're upset and concerned about your friends, but you have to continue to move forward. There is more to your life than running through the woods making sure everyone is safe."

As casually as I could manage, I asked, "What are you talking about, Mr. Keel? After what happened to my friends, do you think I would be caught running through these woods alone?" I joked nervously.

His olive-black eyes, unfathomable in their murky depths, narrowed in my direction. "I've lived on this reservation all my life, son. I don't have to be part of the pack to know about the pack. You're not running out there by yourself, and that's good. Lot a strange things going on in them woods." Mr. Keel knew. How long he had known I wasn't sure. He could have know before he hired me. "Any word on your friends?"

"No, sir."

"That bad, huh?"

"Pretty bad. It's like they just vanished into thin air. There is no trace of them anywhere."

"You think someone snatched all four of them?"

It felt awkward discussing this matter with my boss. When the rest of them found out they would be angry with me, but part of me wanted to talk to someone outside of our group. Besides, Mr. Keel didn't talk to anyone.

"Not all four of them." Mr. Keel's eyes remained patiently on mine. "We think the younger two may be involved in something…we're not sure, and they kidnapped Embry and Jared — the older two."

"Are those cold-blooded Cullens involved?" He knew about them too.

"We don't think so."

"Has anyone spoken with Orenda?"

"Orenda? The shaman who lives in Ozette?"

Orenda was in his early sixties and his ancestors were shamans. He lived in Ozette, which was another Indian Reservation north of ours. Mom took Rebecca to see him once when I was four. She had a fever that would not break and the doctors couldn't seem to help her. Mom became desperate and took me and a dying Rebecca to Ozette to visit Orenda. He lead us deep into the woods where there was a small hut. I remained outside while the three of them disappeared inside. Twenty-four hours later, Rebecca's fever broke and she was sitting up in bed laughing and talking.

"Yes, the witch doctor," Mr. Keel said, his tone coolly disapproving. "I saw him talking to those two young boys a week before everything went chaotic around here."

"Where?"

"I was poking around Ray Peace's junkyard looking at the new body frames that had come in, when I noticed some movement near the edge of the woods. I'm sure it was those two boys with Orenda. He seemed to be doing all the talking. When he finished, he slipped into the woods and they went back towards La Push. The way they looked…didn't seem right to me."

"How did they look?"

"Not like young boys. There was no joking around — they walked as if…"

"As if they were in a trance?"

His eyes were full of concern. "Yeah, like that."

The information Mr. Keel provided left us with more questions than answers. Why would Brady and Collin be sneaking off to visit Orenda? _I'm sure I could find my way to the shaman's workplace and snoop around myself…_

"Now don't go getting any stupid ideas in that head of yours, son." Mr. Keel was watching me like a hawk. "If Orenda is involved, you don't want to going running in blindly. He has years of experience on you and can be more dangerous than you realize."

"He's a shaman, Mr. Keel. He supposed to be helping people, not trying to kill them."

"You kids have got a lot to learn. A shaman just doesn't heal and they aren't always on the good side. They dabble in the spirit world and use various techniques of sorcery. Some techniques date back before Christ. It's powerful crap."

"How do you know so much about it?"

"Like I told you before, I've lived on this reservation all my life. I would be a fool not to learn who my neighbors are."

"Well, he's someone we're going to have to check out. Is there another shaman around we could talk to?"

Mr. Keel laughed showing his yellow teeth. "Not in these parts. Shamanism is not practiced much this day and time, and those who do practice it try and keep it a secret. I hope I'm wrong and Orenda is not involved."

"Me too," I said finishing my bottle of beer.

Later that day we had our pack meeting. I shared with the group what I had learned at Mr. Keel's except the fact that he knew our secret. Seth volunteered to speak to Brady and Collin's parents since he was closest to them. We needed to know if they knew of their sons meeting with Orenda. Sam said he and Paul would take a casual trip to Ozette and see what they could find out about the shaman.

"I say we use the old method of interrogation on him. There are six of us and only one of him."

"Sure, Paul," I said. "Six young werewolves who are inexperienced when it comes to dealing with the spirit realm, verses a well educated older man who may know everything about us. That's an excellent suggestion."

"Jacob's right," Sam said. "I know we all want to go rushing in and save our brothers, but we have to be smart about this. Our best offense is to learn everything we can about Orenda and his practices." What Sam didn't say but what we were all thinking was whether or not Embry and Jared would be alive when we found them. "Boarder patrol is suspended until after the graduation ceremony. Paul, when the ceremony is over, meet me at my house as soon as you can and we'll take the first shift. Everyone else, spend some time with your family."

"I can skip the graduation. I don't care whether I walk or not," I said.

"Me too," Leah chimed in.

"Both of you may not care, but you owe it to your family. They've been waiting a long time for this. You only have a few days left and you should be concentrating on graduating.

"One more thing before we break, I've agreed to something that will not be a popular choice amongst us." Sam paused a brief moment, then looked directly at me. "I received a call from Edward Cullen requesting permission to be on our land during the graduation ceremony. I've granted him permission —"

"You did what?" Paul became livid.

"The only reason he wants to come is because of Bella. She informed him she was going to attend Jacob's graduation. He repeatedly explained to her why she couldn't, but she's determined to go anyway. He just wants to keep an eye on her."

"Half the pack will be there, I think we can manage watching out for her," I said. It was just another one of Edward's attempts to keep Bella and me apart.

"That's what I told him," Sam calmly continued. "However, he was very quick to point out how badly the prom went."

"That leech," Paul seethed. "He didn't happen to mention how we saved her ass from his own kind while he was traveling the world last year, did he? Or just this past summer, when they begged for our help in defeating that red headed bloodsucker and her band of ticks because they were after Princess Bella?"

"And he was quick to mention that it's ironic how we don't have a problem with them coming on our land when we need help. Carlisle Cullen has been on our reservation twice now offering his medical services to Jacob and Quil."

"The only reason Jacob needed tending to was because we were helping them in their battle," Paul argued and glanced at Leah.

"It's already been done Paul. I've granted him permission to be on our land for tomorrow night only." Paul growled and his fist tightened at his sides. "Paul, put yourself in his shoes and Rachel in Bella's. Wouldn't you want as much protection for her as you could get? I'm doing this for Bella, not Cullen."

Paul was calm until Seth said, "Alright! If anyone tries anything with Edward around, they're as good as dead." Seth was only able to escape the clutches of Paul because Leah was quick and tripped him. That only infuriated him more and he phased, turning on Leah, who in turn phased and welcomed his challenge. Sam rapidly stepped in between the two and reprimanded both of them, then adjourned the meeting.

Graduation day, I picked up Quil and we headed towards the school.

"Have you given any thought about your future?" he asked. I told him the offer Mr. Keel had placed on the table for me. "That's cool. I believe in using your talents for a career."

"Does that mean you're going to be a taste tester?"

Quil didn't return my laugh.

"I think I may go to culinary school — open my own restaurant here in La Push."

"That sounds great, but aren't you worried you won't make any money?"

"There's money in culinary."

"Not when you can't stop eating your supplies." We laughed and continued talking about our life as if it was normal; a life that didn't involve phasing and fighting.

We pulled into the parking lot and I scanned the area.

"You know," Quil said getting out of the car, "I don't blame Cullen for wanting to accompany Bella. He has a right to be concerned, Jacob. If you guys hadn't shown up when you did — no doubt Brady and Collin would have taken her. She's human, she may not have survived —"

"Sure, sure," I said cutting him off abruptly.

My nerves were on edge as I made my way across the parking lot, and inside the gym where our senior class was gathering to line up before going onto the field. March Stevens was our valedictorian and she was standing in a corner by herself going over her speech. Delilah Flores stopped us in our tracks. Damn, she even made our shapeless graduation gowns look sexy.

We marched out in single file to Pomp and Circumstance, and took our a seat on the folded chairs that had been placed out for us. I scanned the crowd until my eyes settled on the pale girl with brown hair. A huge grin spread across my face as I was quick to notice the empty chair next to her. The bloodsucker had to wait for the sun to set before he could join her. No doubt he was fuming in his Volvo. I was sweltering in my graduation gown, but was comforted to know I wasn't the only one who was having a rotten day. Seth Clearwater was sitting on the other side of Bella and next to him were Sue, Charlie, Dad, Rachel, and Paul. The Atearas sat behind them.

The ceremony dragged on and on. They gave an overview of all the accomplishments our senior class had acquired throughout the year. Only a few of the teachers were retiring and they were given a special award for their years of service. The seniors who had been awarded scholarships were recognized along with those who planned on joining one of the military branches. March Stevens stepped to the podium and gave what seemed to be a five hour speech, which started from when we were in diapers and ended with us in rocking chairs. I squirmed the whole time trying to get comfortable while Ethan Blankenship sighed each time I moved.

When it was time to rise and walk forward, I couldn't help but glance back up in the crowd to smile at the brown eyed beauty who risked a lot just to watch me receive a sheet of paper that I had earned for thirteen years of hard labor. I sighed and frowned when my eyes not only saw her wide grin, but Edward standing next to her looking bored. It was twilight, which meant that the vampires could freely come out and play.

The steady stream of applause followed each student as their name was called. They accepted their diploma, then moved their tassels from right to left. In less than an hour it was over with.

"Congratulations, Jacob," Charlie said giving me a firm handshake.

Rachel ran up and gave me a hug and I bent down and hugged Dad.

"I know we had agreed not to do anything lavish," Sue said winking at me, "but I've got a big pot of reindeer stew cooking back at the house. I've invited the Atearas to join us."

"We appreciate the offer, but Edward and I need —"

"You are _both _more than welcomed at my house." Sue glanced over at me for confirmation.

"Sure, sure." I rolled my eyes, Leah moaned, Paul growled, and Seth slapped Edward on the back.

Bella wanted to ride with me to the Clearwater's, but of course Edward objected. Seth was able to talk Edward into letting him ride in the Volvo in Bella's place, allowing her to ride with me. Edward grumbled an okay and Bella jumped in the front seat of my Rabbit.

"How have things been?" she asked me. I pulled away from the school and started down the road with Edward and Seth following close behind. I could see his annoyed expression in my rearview mirror. Bella had mentioned before how fast he liked to drive, so I purposely drove at a snails pace.

"You know — a little stressed, a little depressed, a little angry, a little…you know. Has the bloodsucker back there noticed anything out of the ordinary around your place?"

"If he has he hasn't told me — but let's not talk about that. What's your next step now that you've graduated?"

"I haven't really had a lot of time to think about it," I answered honestly. "Mr. Keel has offered me a deal to send me to a mechanic school and continue to work for him, but I don't know if now is the right time."

"I don't blame you for wanting to take a summer off and contemplate on your future. It wouldn't hurt for you to test other waters. I'm exploring some online courses for an English Literature degree. I've stalled long enough, plus it will make Charlie and Edward happy."

"What about making you happy?"

"I _am _happy."

I didn't feel like arguing with her tonight, so I dropped the subject of her relationship with Edward. She wouldn't be happy until she was one of them, and I couldn't let that happen. He may have her heart, but I'll be damned if he was going to have her soul.

We continued chatting about nothing in particular as we made our way to the Clearwater's. Bella and I were laughing as I pulled up to the house.

"Seth told me about Brady and Collin's secret meeting with the shaman," Edward said taking his place beside Bella.

I glared over at Seth.

"I thought maybe he could help us." Seth lifted his chin defiantly.

"Carlisle has books on shamanism at the house. He and I could look through them and see if maybe there is some link with what happened last month. Also, Jasper is well versed with voodoo and sorcery."

"We don't need your help," I replied sharply. "This is our problem and we'll deal with it. Seth has a big mouth. He had no right to tell you anything."

"I told him because I'm not too proud to admit we need help."

"Jacob, it's been a month and you don't seem any closer as to finding out what happened to Embry and Jared. Time is of the essence and too much has passed already."

"I don't need _you _to tell _me _how important time is," I yelled. My body temperature started to rise and my heart began to beat uncontrollably.

"Jacob, why won't you let him help you?" Bella asked lightly placing her hand on my forearm. She was unafraid of me phasing with her standing so close.

"Consider it as a repayment for your services when we fought Victoria and the newborns," Edward suggested.

"We didn't fight for you — we fought for her." I motioned my head towards Bella.

"Is Embry and Jared not worth the sacrifice? Don't be foolish and too prideful to dismiss my offer," Edward warned.

"Even if I wanted you parasites to help — which I don't — I'm not the one who makes those decisions. You should be talking to Sam, not me."

"You have just as much right as Sam to accept our assistance." He knew that Chief Black was my great-grandfather. Edward had been there when Chief Black and Carlisle made the treaty keeping them accountable for their actions and off our land. Rightfully, I should have been the Alpha male, but since Sam was first to make the change, that put him in charge leaving me second in command.

"It doesn't work that way."

"Sam would never agree to it," Bella said shaking her head.

"He might," Seth spoke up. "Edward was able to make him bend the rules for today."

"That was a four hour and twenty-three minute debate." Edward smiled over at his buddy. Their friendship sickened me. There were times I wondered if Seth would side with the vamps over the pack.

Just then, Rachel and Leah came flying out the front door.

"Paul called. There's been an accident over at Sam's. Emily's been rushed to the hospital," Rachel said running to the SUV.

"What kind of accident?" I asked grabbing a hold of Leah.

"A fire." Her eyes weren't her normal hard, dark eyes. There was a look of concern and fear — maybe even regret. My hand slipped from her arm and she got in the SUV next to Rachel.

"Paul found Emily lying on the floor next to the back door. He thinks she had too much smoke inhalation and they are concerned about the baby. Leah and I are headed to the hospital."

"What about Sam?" I asked though I already knew the answer.

"They can't find him," Leah said with no emotion in her voice.

"Oh God, I hope he didn't die in the fire." Rachel cried, quickly pulling away from the house.

_He didn't die — they took him, _I said to myself. I froze but for only a moment. "Seth, you and Quil stay here and keep a close eye on Bella. Neither of you leave her side for any reason. Edward, does you're offer still stand?" He inclined his bronze head and took off behind me in the woods as we raced towards Sam and Emily's house.

The fire department had knocked out the fire and appeared to be putting out the hot spots by the time we arrived. Paul came running over to where we were. There was soot all over him and his clothes were partially burned. He had carried Emily out of the burning house and desperately looked for Sam until the flames were too much for him. The burns he sustained on his arms had already begun to heal.

"He's not in there," Paul said too upset to growl at Edward. "Even with this smoke, I would've caught his scent."

"Jacob and I have been searching around the house and we can't find a trace of him or anyone else," Edward said.

"Give me a few moments to speak with Chief Weston and I'll phase and help."

"There's no —"

I growled cutting Edward off. _I can speak for myself , _I told him, then hurried behind a tree to phase back into my human form. "There's no need," I told Paul. "You won't find anything."

"So what? We just sit around and wait for them to pick us off one by one because that's what they're doing," Paul yelled.

"You and I are going to the hospital to check on Emily. From there we are all going to meet at the Cullens. We're fixing to put an end to this."

"Are you crazy?" Paul snapped. "What if they're in on it? Has it even occurred to you that you're doing exactly what they want?"

"Excuse me," Edward cut in, "but if we wanted you all dead, we wouldn't have to sneak around to do it. Besides, fire isn't something we enjoy being close to unless necessary. And unless your snout is broken, our scent has not been found at any of scenes."

"No one's scent has been found," I reminded him. "Paul, we are going to need their help on this one."

"I don't trust him," Paul said staring right into Edward's golden eyes.

"Neither do I, but I do trust his leader." Paul went to argue some more but I held my hand up to stop him. "I'm Alpha male now and my mind is made up." I looked over at Edward and said, "We'll be at your house in less than three hours." He nodded and took off back to the Clearwater's to retrieve his Volvo and his girl.

"Jacob…"

"Paul, what choice do we have? They have never given us any reason not to trust them."

"There's always a first time for everything." Paul was not very uplifting.

Chief Weston with the fire department confirmed that there was no one else in the house. He did confirm that it was arson and since Sam was nowhere to be found, they were considering him their prim suspect. "A possible domestic disturbance," he concluded and notified the sheriffs department to assist on the case. Nothing Paul and I said could convince them that Sam was a victim too.

We met up with the others at the hospital. Rachel ran to Paul sobbing uncontrollably causing my heart to sink to my stomach. Emily had lost her baby. She was sedated and on oxygen. They informed us that she would make a full recovery in a few days. Sue volunteered to sit with her and be there when she regained consciousness.

Before we left for the Cullens, Rachel begged Paul to stay and not leave her alone. Sue cried and hugged Leah and Seth tightly — burning their faces into her memory. They knew there was a great chance none of us would be coming back. _This could be the end of our legacy_, I thought as I exited the hospital and numbly got into my Rabbit.

The Cullens house was open and bright. Though it was very clean, the stench was unbearable. Everyone but Seth gagged as we approached the door. Before I had a chance to knock, Esme greeted us.

"Come in and make yourselves as comfortable as possible. Bella told me how much you love to eat, so there are some cakes, baked chicken, hot dogs, chips, and some more food in the kitchen. If you don't eat it, it'll just go to waste." She smiled and motioned us inside. "The others are down the hall in the study room." Seth and Quil followed her into the kitchen while Leah, Paul, and I went down the hallway.

We were passing the staircase when Bella called my name. She went running down the steps and fell when she got to the bottom three. Luckily I was there to catch her.

"Oh, sorry." She blushed and placed her palms flat on my chest to push herself into a standing position. The annoying fairy stood close behind her. "How is Emily?"

"They're keeping her for observation," I said cautiously not wanting to bombard her with the cold facts.

"She lost the baby," Leah blurted out.

"Oh no." Tears filled Bella's brown eyes and spilled onto her pale face.

"She'll be okay." I tried to reassure her but didn't believe it myself.

"I hate to sound harsh," Edward said, "but as I said before — time is of the essence." He was standing next to us before I realized it. Bella nodded and quickly wiped the tears off her face. Alice stepped forward and put her arm gracefully around her shoulders to lead her back up the stairs.

"You will say bye before you leave, right?" she asked looking at me. There was no reason for her to be concerned for Edward's safety; it was the werewolves who were disappearing left and right.

"Sure, sure." I watched her slowly climb the stairs and disappear.

"I'm very sorry to hear about Emily," Edward said.

"Have you blood…guys found out anything?" I asked moving forward down the hall.

Their study put the Forks Public Library to shame. Three walls were covered in nothing but shelves of books. There was an oblong table that sat in front of a bay window, which overlooked the backyard full of an assortment of colorful flowers. Carlisle, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie were seated at the table each looking in a different book.

"We've found some interesting articles about shamans using their abilities for harm." Carlisle smiled and welcomed us inside. Leah and Paul remained stationed at the threshold. Carlisle continued unconcerned. "If my memory serves me correctly, I remember a shaman being with Chief Black when we first met, but we were never introduced."

"Orenda is a descendent from a line of shamans from the Quileute," I said taking a seat next to Carlisle.

"Then why doesn't he live in La Push with the rest of the tribe?" Jasper asked.

"I don't know. He's always lived in Ozette. Does that matter?"

"Not really, but why would he want to cause the Quileutes harm?"

"And what is his reasoning?" Rosalie added.

"Maybe he's gone crazy?" Paul said from the doorway.

"You spoke to him, right?" Edward asked. "Did he show any signs of dementia?"

"I'm not a doctor," Paul responded sarcastically.

"You're not very observant either if you can't tell when someone's mentality off. Of course with the group you hang around — he would've appeared to be normal."

Paul stepped forward and Emmett rose from the table.

"Please forgive Rosalie for her tongue," Carlisle spoke quickly. "She never knows when to hold it still." He looked across the table at her and his distinguished face had become threatening.

"I'm sorry." Rosalie ground the words out between her teeth.

"Paul, how did Orenda appear to you?" I asked taking control of my group.

He stepped back with a smug grin on his face. "He had his wits to him. In my professional opinion, he's not officially crazy." Rosalie opened her mouth, then thought better and shut it.

"What did you and Sam discuss with him?" Carlisle asked.

"We asked if he had heard about some of our friends who suddenly had gone missing. He said he had heard something about that while he was in town and wanted to know if we wanted him to reach out into the spirit world and find them. We told him it wouldn't be necessary because we didn't think they were dead — they just ran away."

"They wouldn't have to be dead for him to locate them," Jasper said. "He could scry and find them."

"Sure, he could've tried, but they aren't dead."

"No, scry. When scrying, he would enter a self-induced trance which would allow him to see events or people in present time."

"If he can do that, then how do we know he isn't watching us right now?" Leah asked.

"We don't," Carlisle said.

"Do we know how to stop him?"

"There are spells and enchantments that can reverse or override other spells," Jasper said holding a book of magic. "With the right ingredients or instruments, you can disperse almost any spell."

"'Almost any'?" I asked.

"We don't know which spells he has cast," Jasper explained. "We could try and cast new ones and hope that it will be strong enough to override whatever spell he has cast. Or we could guess what spells he has done and look into reversing them."

Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie excused themselves to find some items Jasper had written down. Leah and Paul finally joined us at the table. We were all looking through books about shamans and reversing black spells when an old picture jumped out at me. Edward slid the book from underneath my fingers and looked at it.

"It's a sweat lodge or medicine lodge," he said. "It's where a lot of the shamans heal and make contact with the spirit world."

"Orenda has one. Mom took Rebecca and me there one time for him to cure her fever."

"I can't see him holding three very large young men in a sweat lodge." In the middle of Carlisle's sentence my nightly nightmares flashed in my mind. The building — I knew I had seen it somewhere…

"You know where they are," Edward said reading my mind. "You're Great-grandfather has been communicating with you this whole time trying to tell you where they were." He didn't say it accusingly but affirmatively.

Carlisle grabbed a pad and pencil and sketched out my detail of the building where Embry, Jared, and now Sam were being held. We started listing several different strategic plans for the battle ahead. I was impressed how well Carlisle and Edward worked together. I was also very impressed with Leah's ability to point out the holes in all their plans.

Moments later, the others arrived with satchels full of items and we were ready to leave. Quil, Seth, Bella, and Alice appeared from the kitchen.

"We're leaving already?" Quil asked.

"Come on, I'll fill you in on the plan while we phase," Paul said leading him and Seth outside. The others followed leaving only me and Bella.

"Have you all come up with a good plan?" she asked. Her brow was creased with worry.

"Sure, sure. Piece of cake."

In one forward motion, she was in my arms. I inhaled her scent, ignoring the occasional whiff of vampire.

"Promise me you won't play hero this time?" She pulled back and looked me in the eye.

"I'm not going to be a coward and run with my tail between my legs."

"I'm not asking you to run away, I'm asking you to watch out for yourself first — for me." Her brown eyes were pleading.

"Bella, you know me well enough that I'm not going to make a promise that I can't keep." We stood inches apart — staring at each other.

Edward cleared his throat from the doorway. "Jacob, the others are waiting on you."

I gently removed her hands from around my waist and softly kissed her lips. Edward didn't complain; he must have known it would be our final moment together.

I was outside their home staring into the woods when I heard Bella's request to Edward. "Promise me you will bring him back alive?" I didn't stick around for his answer.

Esme and Alice stayed behind to watch after Bella. Edward nor I trusted that she wouldn't try anything stupid. Plus, Edward didn't believe she was completely safe.

We were making great timing and were expected to reach our destination by nightfall. Carlisle wanted to stop and let the pack rest, but we laughed and insisted that even if we had the time, we wouldn't have been able to relax.

The building appeared just ahead in in the forest. We slowed our pace and began to separate: Carlisle, Leah, and Paul circled north; Emmett, Quil, and Rosalie circled south; Edward, Jasper, Seth, and I continued straight.

It was just as it had been in my dream. I peered through the broken window to see Embry, Jared, and Sam bound to a wooden post by thick rope; Brady and Collin were in wolf form guarding them. This time, the blurred subject I could never make out was clear. Orenda was behind a long table with ingredients for his spells spread out in front of him.

We congregated in the front of the building and agreed that I would be the first to enter, followed by the rest of the pack. The Cullens would be our ace — if Orenda hadn't already sensed them.

I wasn't completely shocked when I busted through the double doors and unwillingly phased to my human form as I crossed the threshold. Paul was right behind me and did the same.

"What the…" Paul said looking at me then at himself.

"I don't know," I replied miserably. I took a quick glance back and saw Leah and Quil frantically trying to enter. There was some invisible force field keeping them out. Edward and I locked eyes and I gave a slight grin; if he had made that promise to Bella, it would be the first one he had broken since he left her in the forest.

"I've prevented them from entering." Orenda's voice caught my attention, and I turned around to face him. "They are not the ones who have to answer for the crime that is being judged."

"And what crime is that?" I asked.

A ghost of the vampire we had killed in the meadow appeared before us. Laurent, Bella had called him. He had a sadistic grin on his face, his eyes glowing bright red, and hands flexed out by his side ready to strike.

_He's dead; this isn't real, _I told myself, but it was Paul who spoke it out loud.

"He's still real to me," a woman's voice responded. A very pale lady moved from behind Orenda and took her time to walk to us. She had long, pale golden hair, which at times if she turned the right way looked silver. Her eyes weren't red or gold, but black as night. She wasn't the female vampire I had expected to see. "He would still be here today with me if it weren't for you."

"Yeah, well maybe he would still be here if he hadn't been killing humans on our land." I began to lose my patient.

"He wasn't killing humans, mutt! He was traveling through and going to stay with some friends of ours who he didn't know had moved."

"You must be from the band of bloodsuckers from Denali." Her head tilted sideways, shocked that I knew her. "You leeches refused to help your so called 'friends' when they needed you. You refused because they wouldn't help you take us down."

The Cullens had called and requested the assistance from their friends in Alaska; however, they refused because they wouldn't help them fight against us. It appeared that one of the females from Denali had hooked up with the leech we killed, who just so happened had been trying to kill Bella at the time. Now everything was beginning to make sense. The five of us who killed Laurent was trapped in the room. The only thing I didn't get…

"What is your role in all this, Orenda?" I asked.

The old man stopped his chanting and gazed at me. His leathery skin sagged on his face, and his dark eyes looked empty and hollow. His jet black hair was streaked with silver lines and the headdress he wore looked much too big for his head.

"Immortality."

"Immor…" the rest of the word caught in my throat.

"Are you crazy?" Paul yelled. "You're a shaman; you're a Quileute. You can't have immortality!"

"You young guys, you run around all day claiming to protect our people. I heal and protect our people! There is more out there than vampires to which we need protection from. With your gift you stop aging; not so with my gift. I have seen and been in the spirit world. It is not a place I want to remain. I want to live forever. I'm not ready to die just yet. Irina offered me immortality for a justice that should have been taken care of by your elders, but they would never side with what was right because who was right were the vampires."

"You backstabbing bastard," Paul yelled.

I held my hand up to calm him down. "Orenda, we were protecting our land. We were protecting humans — our people."

"Bella Swan is not one of us," he said her name and began mixing powders together. "The land on which the blood of Irina's soul mate was shed was not our land."

"The treaty is that they can't bite another human. Whether Bella is one of ours or not, she is still human."

"Wrong, dog," Irina said moving close to Jared who appeared very weak. Must have been another spell Orenda used on the ropes to diminish our strength. "The treaty was agreed to by Carlisle Cullen; it only applies to the Cullens — not the rest of us." She dragged one of her long nails across Jared's cheek breaking his skin, sending blood leaking down his face. She bent her head and licked it off.

"You're right, leech. The treaty my great-grandfather agreed to with Carlisle was to keep us from killing them. We agreed not to kill them if they agreed to never step foot on our land and to never bite a human. That's the deal we have with the Cullens, but the rest of the vampires…it's open season. We don't have to have a reason not to kill them." I gave a hard look at Orenda. "It's what we were called to do; what we were born for. We won't apologize for killing your bloodsucker."

"And I won't apologize for killing one of yours."

She was quick as lightening. Jared yelled out in pain as she ripped a hunk out of his shoulder. Paul dashed forward only to be slung backwards by Brady. We had no chance in human form. I glanced back at Paul; he wasn't out, but his chest was bleeding at an alarming rate from where Brady clawed him.

My mind raced trying to think of a way to at least save my brothers. I heard the voice of Chief Black from my dream, _"Brains are better than brawn. Sometimes, rules have to be broken in order to save those we love. It's better to admit you need help rather than to die with pride."_

"Orenda, are you aware that by accepting her gift of immortality, you are damning your soul to hell?" Once again he paused and looked at me. "Is that what you want? Even if she does give you immortality, which I doubt she will, take a look outside. The Cullens aren't going to drop this and neither are those of the pack who are left. Eventually you will be killed."

"Don't listen to him, Orenda," Irina hissed advancing towards me. She knocked me backward, breaking my jaw. "You know once I give you immortality, you will be unstoppable. The Cullens are weak; they couldn't even stop Victoria without help from these mongrels."

"Victoria had twenty newborns with her," Paul said getting to his feet. "Orenda, that was twenty people she gave immortality to who are now burning in hell, which is exactly where you're heading."

She lifted Paul off the ground, holding him by his throat. "Not without taking you five with me."

"Please." I begged Orenda while holding my jaw in place. "If you let her win, our people will suffer. Is this how you want to be remembered? Wouldn't you rather die with dignity and pride, rather than just… die? Think of your own legacy."

Irina dumped an unconscious Paul to the floor. I didn't know whether he was still breathing; I didn't see his chest rise and fall — there wasn't time.

Three quick slashes. I fell back on the ground and stared at the ceiling. There was a roaring in my ears that didn't sound human. For the first time in two years, my body was cold.

I've heard it said that before you die, your life will flash before your eyes. Not true. The only picture that flashed through mine was Bella Swan. The only girl I had loved who loved my enemy. I would never hear her laughter again, never see her smile, never hear her chastise me for being rude to her bloodsucker, never feel her close to me…. I smiled remembering our last embrace, our last kiss. _The poor leech broke his promise again. She'll never let him live this one down, _I thought happily as I left my body.

The stench was terrible. _I'm in hell. No matter how hard I tried to be good, and God you know I tried, I still ended up in hell. Damn. Well, I shouldn't be alone. Paul must be around here somewhere. I mean, he didn't even try to be good, for goodness sakes._ My body was warm, but I was used to that. _Not as hot as what I imagined it to be, _I thought to myself. My mouth was as dry as a desert. I didn't want to open my eyes, but I knew I had to eventually.

Painfully, my eyes fluttered open. I blinked several times, confused by my surroundings. There were no flames or flowing lava; no imps or grim reapers running around. There wasn't even a Paul to torment me forever. Instead, I was lying on a gigantic, four-poster bed, and a sleeping beauty was curled up on a white leather sofa.

"Bella?" I called with a strained whisper.

Her eyes opened and she sat up and stared at me, disbelieving. "Carlisle," she mumbled, not moving her eyes from mine.

I wanted to laugh. _Did she just call me Carlisle? _I wondered, but the door flung open and Dr. Cullen came into the room.

He checked my pulse, then pulled back the sheets and began to remove bandages. "Bella, you may want to —"

"I'm not leaving him." She moved to stand next to me and placed a cool, wet rag on my head.

She and I continued to stare at each other, while Carlisle worked. I felt the sting as he applied an ointment to my chest and abdomen, then quickly covered me with clean bandages.

"Your wounds are healing nicely. If I were a betting man, I would say in two days they will be completely healed."

"How," I barely managed to spit the word out, my throat was so dry.

"I'll sit him up, he needs some water." Carlisle moved behind me and easily held me in a sitting position while Bella served me a glass of cool water. "Easy," Carlisle said. "You don't want to over do it. Just enough to wet your mouth and throat." He lowered me after I sipped half the glass down.

"How long have I been out?" I asked with a little more strength behind my voice.

"Today is the fourth day," Carlisle answered.

"Four days?" I realized I was in the Cullens house. "Where is everyone? What happened? Did everyone make it out…alive?"

Bella took hold of my hand; her overwrought expression told me the outcome of our battle wasn't without casualties.

"I'm sorry Jacob, but everything happened so fast," Carlisle spoke with kindness and remorse in his eyes. "Something you said must have gotten through to Orenda, because we were able to find a crack in the barrier he had surrounding the building.

"As we entered, Leah, Quil, and Seth were unable to retain their wolf form and quickly became a liability. I ordered them to work on releasing Sam and the others and getting them to safety. Jasper remained outside trying to find a way to break either the spell Orenda had cast that hindered you from phasing, or trying to reverse the mind control spell he had placed on Brady and Collin.

"Paul was unconscious and had a good sized gash across his chest but it had already begun to heal. You, however, had lost a great deal of blood, and since the wounds were caused by a vampire — they were likely to heal as fast, especially since you were human. I worked on saving your life, which left Edward, Emmett, and Rosalie to fight Irina, Brady, and Collin." Carlisle paused and dropped his eyes.

"Whatever Orenda had done to them, they were much faster and stronger than we anticipated. Edward was doing all he could to keep Irina away from the others. Edward tried talking sense into her — she has…had been a friend for many years. Emmett slung Brady across the room and thought he had knocked him unconscious, so he focused his attention on helping Rosalie distract Collin.

"Seth saw Brady jump up and run towards Edward while his back was turned and he was distracted. Orenda's mental block made Edward's telepathy useless. Seth yelled for him to watch out, and flung his body to block Brady from Edward. Brady's teeth clamped down on Seth's arm and tore it completely off his body." Carlisle's lips were tight and thin. "There is something in us…an animalistic rage that explodes from within making it very hard to control our actions. Edward couldn't stop himself. He turned and attacked Brady with a vengeance, killing him."

"Edward killed Brady?" Carlisle solemnly nodded his head. "What about Collin?"

"Emmett and Rosalie managed to control him until Jasper reversed the mind control spell."

"Where is he now?"

"Home with his parents — unharmed. He doesn't remember anything. Sam doesn't want him to remember."

"Sam and the others are okay?" A feeling of relief washed over me hearing Sam's name.

"Yes. Some are still recovering from their injuries, but most have made a full recovery."

"What about Seth?"

Carlisle smiled. "He is doing better. He's at the hospital in Seattle. Surgeons were able to reconnect his bones, muscles, and skin. Right now, his arm is being held together with plates and other hardware, but he will make a nearly full recovery. It'll take about a year for the nerves to grow back into the muscles."

"Will he still be able to phase?"

"I don't have an answer for that, Sam's already asked."

"What happened with Irina and Orenda?"

"Irina is dead." Carlisle surprised me with his bitter tone. "Orenda is dying. He has brain cancer. I gave him three to six months."

"Damn." The reality of the last couple of months hit me: The pack was down one, maybe two; the last line of the shamans was dying.

"I'll be downstairs if you need me." Carlisle excused himself from the room.

"How do you feel?" Bella asked, still holding onto my hand.

"Like shit," I answered honestly and yawned. My jaw must of had healed during the four days I was unconscious. "I just can't believe…. So many people have lost something." I breathed a sigh of relief. "But it's over now. Maybe everything will eventually return to normal. The Cullens can hate us again, we can hate the Cullens again, and I can continue to try and convince you that I'm the better man." She didn't return my smile. "It is over, isn't it?"

"Edward's beating himself up for killing Brady, not being able to save Seth from so much pain, not being able to talk sense into Irina…. I don't know what is going to happen when her family finds out that Carlisle killed their sister."

"Car…Carlisle killed Irina?" Carlisle? The bloodsucker who made Gandhi look bad?

"When Edward turned his anger on Brady, that meant he turned his back on Irina. He didn't think she would kill…" Bella stopped and regained her composure. "Carlisle was tending to you and heard Seth yell Edward's name. When Edward turned around to attack Brady, Carlisle saw Irina's smile. He knew what she was planning on doing. He did it to save his son, Jacob."

"Bells, you don't have to convince me. I know how hard it must have been for Carlisle. They consider those bloodsuckers in Alaska like an extended part of their family."

We both remained silent for a few moments.

"I'm sure Paul's happy." Bella quirked her eyebrow questioningly. "Looks like we'll be fighting vampires again instead of our own." Unwillingly, my eyes closed and I drifted back to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7 June

**Chapter 7**

**June**

**Author's Notes: **The Cullens confront Tanya and Kate about Irina's death. Meanwhile, Bella and Edward continue to struggle in areas of their relationship. Who said being a vampire was easy?

**Happy Birthday Edward Anthony Masen Cullen ; ) **

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

**EPOV**

I was thankful when Jacob was able to leave my home. He had been driving me insane. Insisting Bella feed him, insisting Bella help with his dressing, insisting Bella spend time with him because he was bored. I lost my composure when he requested Bella give him a sponge bath.

Of course, Bella didn't mind his constant need for her. She was there taking care of him like a regular Florence Nightingale. She was quick to give me that look — warning me to behave every time Jacob said something derogatory about his accommodations. I knew he was trying to get under our skin and it was working. Only Esme and Carlisle assisted Bella when tending to him. The rest of the family conveniently disappeared when something needed to be done.

We also had to deal with the constant visits from some of his pack. Quil and Embry visited him everyday, and Billy called at least half a dozen times to speak with him. I happened to overhear one conversation and found that Billy was concerned that we were intentionally making it to where he wouldn't get well. If he only knew just how ready we were to be rid of him.

I kept myself preoccupied by assisting the Clearwaters. Seth had to attend several days of physical therapy. I took him some of the days, allowing Sue to take a break. It was the least I could do.

One day on the way to Seattle, Seth opened up about our last battle.

"I don't think I've told you, but thank you for saving my life," Seth said. He stared out the window watching the blur of trees. The rain splattered on the windshield as I easily maneuvered the car in and out of traffic.

"I'm the one who should be thanking you. Seth, you saved my life and for that I am eternally grateful."

Seth turned his dark eyes on me. "It wasn't even your battle."

"It was more my battle than it was yours. Had I never left Bella, she wouldn't have been alone in that meadow. Laurent would not have attempted such a cowardly and vicious act. If it weren't for the others, Bella wouldn't…" I couldn't finish my sentence. Life without Bella was no life at all. Every time I looked at her, I felt remorse for what I had put her through. She deserved better than me. She deserved so much more than I could ever give her. However, I wouldn't walk away again unless she requested it.

"That's what we do, Edward. We protect humans from vampires like Laurent and Victoria. Had it not been Bella, it would have been someone else. He was going to kill a human no matter what, and we would have been there to protect them."

"I'm sorry I lost my temper with Brady. I'm sorry that I took a close friend away from you."

"Some of us understand what it means to lose control in the heat of the battle."

"And then there are some of you who think I was out of line and just looking for an excuse to kill a werewolf."_ I had heard bits and pieces of _conversations amongst the pack. Paul was rallying against me — personally. He claimed I was using the excuse of losing my control as means to get rid of one of their own, which made the odds easier for my family in case of a war. He also went as far as saying that our family (me in particular) knew what was going on before the first attack at prom back in April, but didn't say anything.

"Paul just likes to blow hot air," Seth said.

"Yes, but he has placed a seed of doubt in everyone's mind." Seth cut his eyes at me. "With exception to yours." I glanced over at him — at his useless arm. "I just wish you wouldn't have risked yourself on my behalf."

He smiled — his teeth were strikingly white compared to his russet skin. "Dude, it's what friends do for each other. I saved you, you saved me…we're even. Sure, I got a bum arm out of it, but I would have gladly risked more for you — and would have lost more had it _not_ been for you. Let's forget about it."

And so we did. That was the last time we ever spoke about what happened at Ozette. The doctors assured us that Seth was going to have full range and motion of his arm. We wouldn't know until later if he would still be able to phase or what kind of effect phasing would have on his arm. Some of us hoped that that time would not be soon.

Our trip to Alaska was inevitable. Esme called twice and spoke with Tanya. She was certain that the Denali Coven didn't have a clue as to what happened to their sister, Irina. Carlisle had been concerned that they would find out about her untimely death through other means. Since he was the reason for their sister's death, he wanted to be sure he was the one who notified them of what happened. There was a good chance that we could find ourselves fighting our close friends, although Carlisle said he would refuse to fight them.

Once Bella didn't have Jacob to tend to, she was able to pick up on the tension at my house. I tried to find excuses for her not to come over, but she always, somehow, managed to talk me into letting her visit with my family. We never discussed our plans in front of her. I knew without a doubt she would try to talk me out of it by using whatever means necessary.

The day before we were going to leave, Bella and I had her house to ourselves; Charlie was over at the Clearwaters. We had just finished watching _Finding Neverland, _when I decided to tell her about my trip to Denali.

"We need to talk," I said. She delicately blew her nose and turned to face me. Her dark eyes conveyed that she knew what I had to say wasn't pleasant. "Carlisle, Esme, Jasper, and I are leaving tomorrow to go to Denali. We need to speak with Tanya and Kate in person to tell them about their sister."

Her pulse picked up speed.

"You — you have to go with them? Why do you have to go?"

"Bella, I was the one their sister was going to kill." She began to hyperventilate and shook her head adamantly. I gently held her face between my hands and made her look at me. "I'll be back before you even realize I'm gone. It's not like before, Bella."

"But…you — you promised you wouldn't leave me." Tears fell on her pale cheeks. "I can't….I can't live without you — not again."

"What would you have me do? Carlisle is going to need me there. Please, don't make me have to choose between you and what is right."

"'What is right'?" She pulled away from me and stood up. "Nothing about what happened is right, Edward. Irina doing what she did wasn't right. Laurent trying to kill me wasn't right. She tried to avenge a death that was justified. She was going to kill you — what was Carlisle supposed to have done? You tried talking to her, but she wouldn't listen. It's not like he wanted to kill her. She started it." She brushed her hair behind her ears and held her shaking arms over her chest.

I stood and held her tightly in my arms. "They still have the right to know what happened and it's not something one can explain over the telephone. I was there — I can attest to Carlisle's account of the events that transpired leading up to Irina's death."

"So could Emmett or Rosalie. Jasper — you said he was going, why can't he confirm what happened?"

"He wasn't inside during the battle; he didn't see what happened. He's only going because of his ability. That's another reason why I have to go — my ability will come in handy."

Carlisle at first had objected to anyone accompanying him. Esme wouldn't hear of it. She was going to be there with him to the bitter end. I also refused to let him go alone. It took some persuasion, but I eventually won my debate. I could read their thoughts and know what was going to happen before they acted; that would give us the upper hand. Plus, it only seemed fair since I was the one who Carlisle saved from Irina. Jasper volunteered his services near the end of the discussion. He hoped his presence would be able to maintain peace among the sisters. Only time would tell.

"Promise me…swear that you will come back?" she pleaded.

I looked deep into her brown eyes. "Isabella Marie Swan, I swear that I will come back to you. The Volturi themselves could not keep me away."

"Oh, please don't even mention them."

She tilted her head slightly as I bent down to kiss her. Her lips, soft and warm, eagerly welcomed my touch. I would never know anything as sweet as her. She was everything I had always wanted and feared. Life without her wasn't living; I had learned that the hard way. I continued to move my mouth over hers, devouring its softness. Her fingers entangled my hair, pulling me closer to her as her heart beat against my chest. Unwillingly, I pulled away slowly — regaining my composure.

"We're alone," she said breathlessly.

"Yes." My voice was smooth yet unsteady.

She quickly glanced at the stairs then back at me. "Charlie won't be home for a few more hours." I continued to stare at her vacuously. She rolled her eyes and sighed. "Sometimes I wish you could read my mind. It would make it so much easier at times like this. Do you want to…you know?" She nudged her head towards the stairs.

I laughed finally following her train of thought. "Oh no, vixen. You already know my position regarding sex before marriage. It's your fault you've postponed it — that I cannot be blamed for."

"We can fool around. We don't have to have sex to have fun," she urged.

"Bella, love. We can barely control ourselves when we kiss. Do you honestly think we could stop ourselves with such carnal acts?"

"I'm hoping that we couldn't," she mumbled, her face turned a light shade of pink.

I gathered her into my arms and held her snugly, while she dropped her chin on my chest with a displeased sigh. "You are very tempting, but if I surrender now and let you have your way, there would be nothing left to guarantee that you will marry me. You have to have some kind of incentive."

"You know, there are people who live together all their life and never marry. Doesn't mean they love each other any less than those who do marry. We're going to be together forever anyway, what's the rush?"

I pulled back to look into her eyes. "Are you still trying to get out of marrying me?"

"I just don't see what you think is so wonderful about marriage." Her response held a note of impatience. "Why do we need a piece of paper to tell us we're married? How is a piece of paper going to change our relationship?"

"Marriage is more than a piece of paper."

"Yeah, maybe back in 1920, but this is the 21st century. I don't understand why I'm the one having to make all the sacrifices. You won't change me until we're married, you won't have sex until we're married. Is there anything about this agreement that seems logical to you?"

"I offered you the choice of remaining human for at least five years, or marrying me in order for me to turn you into a vampire. Marriage was your decision. As for as sex before marriage, it's not that you have to marry me or I won't have sex with you — it's more of a conscious decision on my part. If you remember, it was _after _you accepted my proposal when we discussed sex."

"I don't want to argue tonight knowing you're leaving tomorrow. I guess I'm a little stressed."

"You shouldn't be." I sat on the couch and pulled her down to me. I wrapped my arms around her and sang to her softly. She had been through so much since meeting me. I knew she still grieved the death of her mother. She had confided in me and wept in my arms about Renee's untimely death, a few weeks after we reconciled. It upset me that I wasn't there for her when she needed me most. For some reason she refused to talk about Phil, and lately there never seemed to be a good time to bring him up.

When Charlie came home, I did the normal ritual of saying my goodbyes and walking out the door, only to reenter the house through Bella's window and patiently waited for her on her bed. She laid down next to me, and I ran my fingers through her brown hair lifting strands — pleasurably inhaling the smell of strawberry scented shampoo. She refused to close her eyes and sleep, not wanting to waste our precious time together.

At the first sight of dawn I had to leave.

"When can I expect you back?" she asked, unable to look me in the eye.

"In a day or two, maybe longer." I tilted her face upward. "Please promise me you will behave while I'm gone? Emmett, Rosalie, and Alice have promised to keep an eye on you. I would prefer it if you didn't go to La Push while myself and Carlisle are away, but I've promised not to be overbearing, so…."

"I'll try, but I'm not going to make a promise I might not keep."

We kissed once more before I left. We both controlled ourselves, unable to think beyond the possibility that it could be the last time we touched — the last time we would to be together. However, she remained calm and forced a smile. I knew how difficult this would be for her and she would probably turn to Jacob Black for support. I couldn't bring myself to give her my blessing to be with him if I did not return. I would just have to make damn sure she wouldn't be put in that position.

Carlisle was waiting on me outside when I returned home.

"Is Bella okay?" he asked.

"She'll be better once we return. She still has abandonment issues."

He gave a brief nod of understanding. "You don't have to come with us. Bella needs you here more than I need you there. You have a responsibility to her now. If something were to happen, what do you think will happen to her?"

"We'll just have to make sure nothing happens. I'm hoping that Carmen and Eleazar will be on our side."

Though they weren't family, Carmen and Eleazar were members of the Denali Coven. Their story was much like Alice and Jasper's; they both developed a conscious and broke away from their previous coven to live a more civilized lifestyle. Carlisle knew Eleazar from his time with the Volturi, before he joined the Denali Coven. It had been Carlisle who planted the seed that brought about a change in Eleazar. I was hoping that act of kindness would be remembered and they would show their gratitude by helping us.

"Right or wrong, they are with the Denali Coven and chances are, will stick with whatever decision Tanya and Kate make. I wouldn't expect anything different from them."

Carlisle and Esme got in the front seat of the Mercedes, and Jasper joined me in the back. Alice gave him one more kiss goodbye and promised me she would keep Bella entertained.

"Please, don't put a ball and chain around her," I warned. "There is no need to smother her. She may want to go to La Push, and that is fine."

"If I get a vision of something going awry, should I keep her in the loop?"

Her question agitated me. "Alice, I only want Bella to hear positive news. Please do not, under any circumstances, give her any bad news. She is already a ball of nerves. I want you to help boost her spirits — not burst them."

"Gottcha." She winked and snatched another kiss from Jasper before we pulled away.

The trip to Denali was quiet. Carlisle and Esme whispered to each other about various things: memories, politics, the landscape. I stared out the window blocking everyone's thoughts but my own. To keep from going crazy with thoughts of Bella, I began to go over strategy plans in my mind. I turned to Jasper to discuss them and was surprised to find him writing in a journal.

"I thought I was the only one who enjoyed keeping a journal," I jested.

"I'm just recording my thoughts and feelings for Alice to read when we return. Something she wanted me to do. She's doing the same while I'm gone. She thinks it will help while we're apart."

I turned my attention back towards the window. _Isn't like Bella and I have never been apart before, _I thought miserably. I was to the point where I was ready just to fight and get it over with rather than go through a long debate and drag out the inevitable.

I placed myself in Tanya and Kate's shoes. What if one of them had accidentally killed Alice or Rosalie? The grief would be overwhelming, but one would have to think logically. Logically? I snickered at the thought of a vampire ever stopping to think once rage took over. They would act first and think about it later. "Oops, maybe the Cullens didn't have any other choice but to kill our sister," they would say while watching our dismembered bodies burn.

_If we don't return, what will happen to our family? _I wondered. I stole a glance at Jasper. At least Rosalie and Emmett would still have each other, but what about Alice — my little, annoying sister? I panicked thinking of Alice turning Bella into a vampire just to keep her from joining the werewolves. Would Alice be so selfish? Of course she would — and Bella wouldn't complain. Would they seek revenge for our deaths? Even worse, would they lose hope and join the Volturi in order to seek revenge? My muscles tightened as the negative thoughts continued to develop in my mind.

_Edward? Edward, what's wrong?_ I looked over at Jasper who was watching me with a worried look.

"Nothing. My imagination is taking over my logical thinking."

_You're sending out negative vibrations throughout the car. We'll all be tensed and worried before we make it to Denali if you don't get a grip on your imagination. Do you need some help?_

I shook my head, politely declining his offer. This was one time I wished I could have slept. I chose not to think about the what if's and concentrated on the low music coming through the speakers. I closed my eyes and hummed along with Mahler's Symphony No. 7 in E.

The Denali National Park is vast expanse of wilderness that attracts tourist with multiple hiking trails, white water rafting adventures, rock climbing, and a variety of wildlife. The Denali Coven was located just north of the National Park, north of Cantwell, Alaska. They had been able to live there undetected for many, many years. They rarely socialized with humans, and because of the abundance of wildlife, they never went without food.

Carlisle turned off the main highway down the long, winding path. The sky was overcast and the path was lined with Mountain Hemlock trees and White Spruce trees. Both sides of the road were covered with purple wild irises. We continued another six miles until we came to a two story, cultured stone home with wood siding nestled in the wilderness. Two large stone pillars framed the covered entry and a prominent stone chimney rose from the rear of the house.

Tanya greeted us at the front door with a look of surprise and hesitation on her face.

"My, my. To what do we owe this pleasure?" She smiled and embraced Esme. "When you called last week, you didn't mention you were coming."

"She didn't know." Carlisle stepped forward and took Tanya's hand.

Inside the home, the ceilings vaulted above allowing the stone of the fireplace to go up the full two stories. The walls in the great room were angled at the fireplace, which created different views through the bay of windows that flanked the fireplace, which Tanya enjoyed keeping lit year round.

"Kate has gone hunting with Carmen and Eleazar. Please, have a seat," Tanya said motioning for us to sit down.

Their home was not decorated with contemporary furniture as ours. Their great room was adorned with Chippendale furniture, which was covered in an 18th century tapestry. The only contrast to the furniture were the three Victorian grandfather chairs upholstered with deep burgundy velvet fabric. Our family took a seat on the sofa, while Tanya sat in one of the chairs.

Tanya inquired about our missing family members and how they were doing. I scanned her thoughts while the others talked. She was curious about our visit; more so about why Jasper and I were there without our mates — meaning Alice and Bella. She knew it was more than just a friendly visit, but didn't want to push for information.

She, Carlisle, and Esme continued speaking about old friends and when they had heard from them last. It was Tanya who first brought up Irina.

"Our sister has not been heard from for some time now. She's been known to leave for weeks at a time, but it has been at least three months since we've heard from her. I'm starting to worry. You know, she hasn't been right since Laurent's death." Tanya studied her hands in her lap. "She has been angry with Kate and I for reconciling our differences with your family at the beginning of the year. I still feel guilty about abandoning you during your time of need. If anything had happened to any of you because of our bitterness towards those hounds, I would not have been able to forgive myself. You shouldn't have had to turn to them for help. We should have been there for you."

"But you weren't," Carlisle said with a gentle softness in his voice. "And because of that, we became close friends with the shape-shifters. That is what has brought us here. We came to discuss our most recent actions with them."

"Recent?" Tanya eyed Carlisle suspiciously. "Am I correct to assume that your 'recent actions' have something to do with my family?"

Carlisle sighed. "I would rather wait until the others arrive. It isn't a tale I wish to tell twice."

"They're right outside," I mumbled. I could hear their thoughts before their voices were heard.

Kate ran inside and embraced Esme. She was followed by Carmen and Eleazar.

"Carlisle, what brings you by?" Eleazar spoke with a boisterous voice. He still carried a Spanish accent as did Carmen. "I do hope nothing is amiss. It's not the Volturi, is it?"

"Thank God, no. I don't think our family could handle them right now."

"Edward, you and…Bella, isn't it?" Carmen asked taking a seat across from me on the love seat. I tilted my head confirming she was correct. "Are you and Bella still separated? Tanya mentioned that you two had split up."

"She and I have reconciled since then."

_I really must meet this human who has captured Edward's tormented heart, _Carmen thought as she smiled at me. "Congratulations."

"I know the rest of your family must be happy." Tanya folded her hands together and casually leaned back in her chair. "I take it you are no longer sulking around the house feeling sorry for yourself?"

Tanya had become accustomed to blocking most of her thoughts from me, though at times I could catch her thinking before she had time to consider me. Kate, on the other hand, was an open book. _Jeez, Tanya will you please leave the poor boy alone. He's happy with his little pet. His feelings for you wouldn't change even if he weren't._

"I should apologize for my behavior when you visited us in January," I said. "It was a…difficult time for me."

"So, the marriage is back on?" Carmen asked.

"I'm not sure."

"Edward, it's been a year. Your time to change her is running out."

"Carmen is right," Eleazar said sitting next to his wife. "It will be Caius who alerts Aro and Marcus of the agreement. It will be Caius who sends out his minions to find the truth. I don't have to tell you how cunning and ruthless he is." Eleazar warned looking at Carlisle.

"We're aware of Caius's brutality," Carlisle said. Tanya and Kate glanced at each other — each thinking of their mother, Sasha.

"Does Edward and Bella's reunion have anything to do with why you are here?" Tanya asked politely. "You wanted to wait until everyone was present to discuss your current standing with the Quileute's. Carlisle, I give you the floor to speak."

Carlisle squeezed Esme's hand and stood. He moved forward to stand in front of the fireplace, then thought better of it and moved to stand behind his empty spot on the sofa. He placed his hands on the backrest, and focused his gaze on the flames as they danced and crackled.

"What I have to say isn't easy. I hope you bear with me until the end." He looked around the room to make sure he had everyone's attention. "The reason Irina has not been around for the last few months is because she has been in Forks."

"Forks?" Kate blurted out. "I'm sorry, Carlisle." Kate's mind began to ponder about her sister. _Irina, what have you done now? What if she took actions into her own hands? Oh no. What if she has created more newborns like Victoria and plans on using them to kill our friends and the werewolves? _I shuddered at her thought.

Carlisle continued. "We weren't aware she was there until the end of last month. It seems that she found a shaman in Ozette. The last shaman of Quileute descent, Orenda. He is dying of brain cancer."

"Not much of a shaman," Tanya smirked.

"Even witchdoctors die, it's not uncommon," Jasper said. "Unlike us, they are still mortal."

"Irina approached Orenda with a plan: If he helped her kill the ones responsible for Laurent's death, then she would give him the gift of immortality."

"Carlisle, that's ridiculous," Kate said. "He is of Quileute blood. Why would he ever agree to such a outlandish request?"

"Some people who are on the brink of death would sell their soul to the devil if it bought them more time. In my line of practice, I've seen them try and make bargains with God."

"The five steps of grief," Eleazar whispered. "Yes, I remember hearing the same when I was with the Volturi. Just because the shaman was Quileute, does not mean he had werewolf blood in him. Chances are his age was also a factor in his decision."

"They began to scheme together. He was able to put a spell on two of the younger members of the pack and with their assistance, they were successful in capturing three of the five werewolves who were responsible. Their leader turned to us for help. Understand that at the time we didn't know Irina was involved."

"No one detected vampire scent?" Carmen asked inquisitively.

"Orenda had a spell for that too," Jasper answered. "He used a variety of spells: mental blocking, scent blocking, and invisibility." Kate raised her eyebrows showing her disbelief. "These are spells that predate vampirism. If you know what you're doing, they can be very effective. Orenda was a pro. Shamanism was his life."

"We didn't know why the shaman was attacking his own people." Carlisle drew their attention back to him. "The shape-shifters were there when we needed them, so I thought it only fair for us to return the favor. All of us but Alice and Esme went to where Orenda was holding the other members of their tribe.

"Orenda also had a spell on the building they were in. The spell only allowed the other two who killed Laurent to enter, but they were unable to maintain their wolf form. That's when Irina showed her hand. She explained it was all her idea. She was mad with grief.

"Luckily, Jacob was able to get through to Orenda before Irina spilt his guts on the floor, and he dropped the force field that was keeping us out."

"Jacob? Why does that name ring a bell?" Tanya gazed into the fire as if looking for her answer there.

"Jacob Black in the one who saved Bella from Victoria while I was in South America."

Tanya flashed a smile at me and her eyes brightened. "Oh, Jacob Black is her other lover."

"Jacob Black is her friend," I replied icily without returning her smile.

"Jasper remained outside to try and reverse some of the spells, I ran to stop Jacob from bleeding to death. Since the others were still unable to change form, it was too dangerous for them to join the fight. They went to release the ones who were bound while Rosalie and Emmett tackled the younger two werewolves, and Edward kept Irina busy. He was the best one for that job; getting inside her mind was crucial and the only way to try and get her to stop.

"During the battle, Emmett thought he had knocked out one of the werewolves, but he only dazed him. Edward had all his attention on Irina and wasn't expecting an attack from behind. Seth Clearwater, who is only sixteen and a close friend to us, saw the werewolf approaching Edward and tried to stop him. He lost his arm as a result.

"Edward turned to see what happened and went to save Seth. It was when Edward turned his back to Irina that I knew what she planned on doing." Carlisle paused and raised his eyes to meet Tanya's. "I wasn't going to lose my son."

"You killed her?" _Hypocrite_, Tanya's thoughts burned with anger. _You are no better than the Volturi! You assumed she was going to lay waste to your precious Edward, just as they assumed Vasilii was evil._

"You can't compare what happened with Irina to what happened with your mother and Vasilii."

Her eyes flashed with outrage. "Stay out of my head, demon!"

Every wall she had built to keep me out of her head crumbled. Play by play of her actions flashed through my mind before she ever moved from her seat: her snapping my neck, Carlisle falling to floor in agony — begging for death, Esme crying out as Kate attacked Jasper while she continued to rip me apart and throw me in the fire.

She was fast, but not as fast as me. When she moved forward — her hands extended to wrap around my throat — I was already in motion and grabbed her from behind with ease to hold her in place. Her body jerked side to side to try and break free, but all her efforts were in vain.

Kate shrieked from behind me, and I moved just before her nails made contact with my back. Jasper was quick on his feet, and secured her before she had another chance to attack. However, his grip did not last long as Kate sent an electric current through her skin, which sent Jasper to his knees in pain.

"If you shock me, you shock your sister," I warned.

"What if I just steadily shock your brother instead? This time I won't hold anything back." Her fingers sparked with electricity as she knelt next to a moaning Jasper.

"I am the reason Irina is dead," Carlisle spoke loudly. "Not Edward and not Jasper, but me. If anyone should have to suffer, it should be me."

"None of us should have to suffer." Esme stood and glared at Kate and Tanya. "Irina put this on herself. She made the decision to attack our friends." Tanya gasped and her body stiffened in shock. "Yes, Tanya, the werewolves have become our friends. I'm sorry, but I can't feel pity for her loss, just like I couldn't feel pity for Laurent's. They made a conscious decision, just like we have to make every second of our life not to kill humans. When we fail, we have to be able to face the consequences and be able to look in the mirror everyday.

"I am sorry that all of you have to also suffer for her consequences. I can only imagine how devastating it can be to lose someone you love; I experienced it briefly myself. But you know Carlisle. He would not have killed her had he thought there was another way. We tried to save her before she got too far, but we couldn't."

"Maybe she didn't want to be saved." Carmen's voice was soft, but carried throughout the house. "If something were to happen to Eleazar, I wouldn't want to live. You understand that sense of loss." She glanced at me knowingly before returning her eyes to Carlisle. "According to your story, Irina could have went after one of the werewolves who were vulnerable, instead she goes after a powerful vampire knowing his family is there with him. Maybe you did what she wanted you to do."

Tanya's rage weakened, and was replaced with sadness and guilt. I slowly released my hold knowing she was in control of herself once more. She was once again in control of her thoughts — pushing me out. Seeing her sister's surrender, Kate moved away from Jasper to stand with her across the room.

"You understand if we aren't so forgiving." Tanya's anger and bitterness was still evident in her voice.

"I don't expect you to forgive," Carlisle said. "If I were in your shoes, I'm not sure I would be able to."

"Tell me, how many wolves died?"

"Just the one who attacked Seth Clearwater."

Tanya's lips curled up into a snarl. "You were able to save your dear friend, Seth, and that human girl's lover, Jacob, but you weren't able to save my sister?"

"I'm sorry, Tanya, but Irina was beyond saving."

Tanya stood straight and crossed her arms in front of her. Her voice rang with authority like a goddess. "The Cullens are no longer welcomed in my home. The Cullens are no longer part of this family. The Cullens are to be considered an enemy this day forward." She turned and quickly ran into the woods. Kate didn't say a word and followed behind her. Strangely, I found her mind blank.

Carmen, who along with Eleazar had kept quiet, shook her head sadly. "It will take them some time to get over their loss. I have a feeling that eventually they will see the ordeal you were in and forgive you." She walked over and hugged Esme.

"Let me just say you are both welcome at our home, anytime." Carlisle forced a smile and shook hands with Eleazar.

They promised to keep in touch as they escorted us out of the home and to our car. It had been a long and stressful day, but we were leaving with our heads still attached. Had Carmen and Eleazar felt the same towards us as Tanya and Kate — the outcome would not had been so comforting. We were leaving with two lesser friends than when we arrived, but some things can't be helped no matter how hard one tries.

The ride home was quieter than it had been on the way there. Jasper continued to write in his journal, describing his tussle with Kate. There was no communication between Carlisle and Esme. He was concerned for his family and for Tanya and Kate, while Esme was worried about him. I just couldn't wait to get back to Bella. It felt like we had been gone a week though it had been only a few days.

Alice was already waiting outside for us when we arrived home.

"I'm sorry things didn't go as well as you had hoped," she said hugging Carlisle.

"Thank you, Alice. If you would excuse me, I'm quite hungry. Esme…" He held his hand out and she gladly took it. Without another word, they escaped into the woods behind the house.

"How were things here?" I asked.

"Bella is fine. She put in some extra hours at the library and has volunteered for their summer reading book club, but she can tell you about that herself. And no, she didn't go to La Push." Alice smiled triumphantly.

I got in my Volvo and headed to the Swan's residence. I was relieved to hear that Bella had done as I asked and stayed clear of La Push while I was gone.

The house was vacant when I pulled up, so I let myself in.

Their home was cozy with mixed matched furniture. Charlie's large flat screen television looked out of place. On the mantle above the fireplace was a single framed picture of Bella when she was a baby. It was the only picture I had seen with Charlie and Renee both smiling together. Somehow, Bella had been able to talk Charlie into taking all the other pictures of her down. I held the picture, smiling at the scowl on Bella's face. It was a shame she would never have a child of her own. Someone like Bella should be duplicated again and again. The Swan linage would stop with her; just as the Masen linage stopped with me.

"Edward," Bella called before she opened the door. Relief washed over her face when she saw me. She quickly walked in and threw her satchel down at the foot of the stairs. "Alice told me you would be back today." She ran her fingers through her hair and smiled.

I placed the picture back on the mantle and turned to her. "We're all back."

"You're hungry. You shouldn't go so long without eating." She remained at the foot of the staircase — not wanting to make it any more difficult for me.

"I just wanted to see you before I did anything else."

"Go eat. I'll wait for you."

I looked at her intently, then strode out the back door and headed into the woods. When I returned, she was sitting at the kitchen table looking over some brochures. I leaned over her shoulder and kissed her cheek before taking the seat next to her.

"Online classes?" I asked picking up one of the brochures.

"This way, I can do my work online while continuing my job in the cafeteria and at the library."

"Why do you insist on working so hard?" I didn't like her putting forth so much time and effort when it was pointless. "I'm sure you could get a grant that would pay for every bit of your schooling."

"And will it pay the bills too? What about health insurance?"

"Bella, Carlisle is a doctor — remember?"

"Is he a dentist and optometrist too?"

I grinned. "He's been around for centuries and has dabbled in every profession." My thigh brushed her hip as I leaned closer to her. Softly, my breath brushed her face — my voice a velvet murmur. "Bella, wouldn't it be fun for _both _of us to attend college together. It would be just like we were in high school again except no Newton and no Crowley to bother us." She laughed and shook her head. Her heart continued to flutter like hummingbird wings. "We could take the same classes. We could ride there together, come home together, study together…do all kind of things together. Sounds much more fun than sitting by yourself in front of a computer, doesn't it?"

"Problem is, you can afford to do it — I can't." With a shaky hand, she grabbed her glass of water and walked over to the sink. "Truthfully, I didn't like high school. I only went because of Charlie and Renee…and you. The thought of having to sit in a classroom and listen to boring lectures isn't very motivational."

She glanced at her watch and sighed. "I've got to get dressed. Are you going to wear that?" I stared at her wordlessly. "Alice didn't tell you." A shadow of annoyance crossed her face. "I've got plans for us tonight. I purchased tickets to see _Tristan und Isolde_ at the Seattle Opera House."

"No, Alice didn't tell me. I'll pick you up in thirty minutes."

"Make it an hour," she said rushing up the stairs.

I hurried home to change. Thanks to Alice, I never had to worry about clothes. She kept everyone in the house well dressed with designer clothes. I pulled from my closet a black, Brioni Italian linen suit. I picked a sky blue dress shirt to wear with it and opted to dress down and go without a tie. I ran my fingers through my unruly hair, straightened my cufflinks, and adjusted the silk blue handkerchief in the pocket of my suit, then waited.

This date would be the first time since Bella's junior prom that we attended a formal event together.

Bella and I had been out before, but only to a movie every now and then. Even those occasions had become rare during the past year due to her need to watch after Charlie. Now that he had his own life, maybe Bella could have hers back.

I chuckled at the humanity of me ringing her doorbell and waiting — like a boy on his first date — for her to answer. I didn't have to wait very long. I froze with a smile on my face. She wore a straight, black silk dress with short sleeves. Her hair was pinned up on the sides and she carried a black satin clutch bag.

"You look…beautiful." I took her hand and lightly kissed her wrist.

"You do too." She laughed gently.

On our way to Seattle, I told her about our trip to Denali. She was upset that they weren't as forgiving as she thought they should have been. I chose not to tell her about Carmen and Eleazar mentioning the Volturi.

During the opera, we sat next to each other — our eyes focused on the stage. With Bella next to me, I believed that a love as strong as the one between Tristan and Isolde was possible. To have such strong feelings for another person that you would risk everything just to be with them. Then in the end to die of a broken heart….

I would forever hate myself for the irresponsible act that brought the Volturi into our lives. It was because of me that Bella's life was in jeopardy. Life has a sick sense of humor; I never wanted her soul to be asdamned as mine, yet I was the one who sealed her fate. She would have been better off had she never saved me.

Afterward, we strolled down Mercer Street, up 2nd Ave to Kerry Park. The air was chilly for a June night, and I placed my jacket around Bella's shoulders. We found a bench with a perfect view of Elliott Bay. At night the park becomes almost a fantasy scene, with brightly lit ferries gliding across the water and the Space Needle shining like a beacon for Seattle.

"What's this?" I asked taking hold of her left hand. I was surprised to see my mother's ring back on her finger.

"I assumed your proposal still stood." Bella blushed. "I can give it back…"

"No, no. I just…I didn't know you still wanted to marry me."

"I never stopped loving you, Edward. Renee and Charlie weren't very good role models for marriage. That word doesn't hold the same meaning for me as it does for you. But, I know how much it means to you, and I know how much you mean to me."

"You only want to marry me to get me in bed," I joked. Bella turned scarlet and laughed.

"That and a few other reasons. We need to sit down one day and plan a date. We should probably include Alice since she is going to be my wedding planner."

"You don't have to, Bella."

"If I'm going to be with you for the rest of my life, I don't want Alice to constantly complain about not being able to throw us a proper wedding. Besides, you're the one who doesn't want me to miss anything human. We've done prom, graduation, I'm going to do college online, so a wedding has to be added in there somewhere — just trying to cover all the basics."

We remained in the park until after midnight, then walked back to the car and headed home. Charlie was at the house when we arrived and I quietly snuck into Bella's room. She let Charlie know she was home and changed out of her dress into a t-shirt and shorts before snuggling next to me on her bed.

"Did you have good birthday?" she asked.

"Birthday?"

"Edward, on June 20, 1901, Edward and Elizabeth Masen gave birth to a beautiful baby boy — you." She playfully poked me in the chest. "Did you honestly forget your birthday?"

"Birthdays aren't days vampires like to think about. They get boring after the first hundred years or so." I listened to her steady breathing. "Thank you. It was the best birthday that I've had in _many _years. What about my gift?"

She raised up on her elbow and looked at me with a puzzled expression on her face. "The opera tickets were your present. What else do you want?"

"This." My lips slowly descended to meet hers. It was a perfect ending to a perfect night.


	8. Chapter 8 July

Chapter 8

**July**

**Author's Notes: **To the true heroes who serve and protect our nation everyday, and their families who have to sacrifice so much. Thank you!

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

**BPOV**

Before I had a chance to ask Alice to be my wedding planner, she had already compiled a stack of wedding magazines for me to go through. All my free time was spent going over dress designs, entertainment, caterers, florists, ministers, hair stylists — anything she could think of that involved a huge wedding.

"Alice, why don't you just decide everything." My eyes hadn't even had time to focus before she was thrusting one of the magazines in my face. She had stopped by my house with three new magazines before the sun had a chance to rise.

"It's your wedding, Bella." She sat perched on my bed thumbing through a magazine.

"But you already know all my decisions before I do," I argued. "Just cut out the middle man —me— and do everything yourself. Isn't that what your getting paid to do?"

She paused and a slow, sly smile formed on her perfect face. "Am I getting paid?"

"I'll tell Edward to pay you. Just please — let me have a couple of days a week where I don't have to look at any of these magazines," I begged, throwing the covers over my head.

She promised to keep me in the loop on how my wedding was coming along and left.

The month of July started just like any other day in Forks — wet. I removed the roast from the oven just as Charlie walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. He had told me he was going to be home for dinner, which was a surprise because he was usually at Sue's.

"You and Edward have any plans for tonight?" Charlie asked.

"Nothing special." I placed his plate in front of him then fixed my own. He waited for me to join him before he spoke again.

"I need to talk to you — privately if that's possible."

My eyes searched his for some clue as to what he wanted to discuss. I hadn't told him the wedding with Edward was back on. It was no secret we were a couple again. We spent most of our free time together.

_Did Jacob complain to Charlie about the lack of time I was spending with him, or did Billy get into Charlie's mind and give him a reason to dislike Edward — again? _I thought as I picked at the food in front of me. Then I started to worry about Charlie's health. Was Charlie getting worse? Did something happen during his last doctor's visit and he had been keeping me in the dark?

"I think the cow is already dead." Charlie's voice startled me. I glanced down at the piece of roast on my plate and saw that I had unconsciously pulled it apart in small strips.

"Um…yeah. I guess I'm not all that hungry." I got up from the table and cleaned my plate. "What did you need to talk to me about?" Automatically, I grabbed the kitchen counter for support.

"I'll wait until you come back later tonight. I don't want to rush it."

"Did Jacob say something to you?" I blurted out.

"Jacob?" Charlie looked up baffled.

"Or Billy?"

"No." He turned his attention back to his food. "I told you, I'll talk to you later tonight."

I sighed loudly. "I'll be worried all night. Is it your health? Did the doctor say something?"

"No," he said, losing his patience. "Are you going to the Fourth of July party at La Push?"

I stared at him searchingly. "I don't think so. Edward and I may go to Kerry Park in Seattle to watch the fireworks."

Charlie continued eating and I started putting the food away — cleaning up the kitchen.

"When was the last time you went to La Push?"

I spun around so fast I almost twisted my ankle. "Aha! Jacob has been talking to you."

Charlie rolled his eyes. "I haven't seen Jacob to talk to him. I just know since you and Edward have started seeing each other again, you've gone back to your old ways."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked defensively.

"Secluded."

"I'm not much of a socialist to begin with."

"But you did hang out with the guys at La Push from time to time." Charlie pushed his empty plate away. "When was the last time you visited Sue — at her place? I'm sure Emily could use a friend right now."

I turned my attention back to the sink. I hadn't visited Emily Uley since hearing about her miscarriage. I hadn't been to La Push since Jacob's graduation. The pack still had a lot of healing to do since Irina and Orenda's attack. I didn't want to get in the way, and I wasn't sure my face would be welcomed.

"I don't think I would be any help for her," I mumbled.

There was a knock at the door, and Charlie yelled for Edward to enter. He rose from the table and greeted Edward with a firm handshake before disappearing to the living room.

"I sense tension." Edward stood next to me and began drying the dishes.

"Jasper's starting to rub off on you after all these years," I joked.

He smiled. "A human would be able to sense it."

I remained quiet for a few moments — the television blared in the next room.

"There is something Charlie wants to discuss with me — privately," I whispered. "Can you give me a heads up?"

His eyebrows slanted in a frown. "Bella, it's something he wants to talk with you about; just you and him — father and daughter." He gave me a warm smile. "Nothing for you to be upset about, I promise. Why don't I just leave you two alone —"

"No." I grabbed his hand. He remained perfectly still. "You can wait for me in my bedroom." He inclined his head.

After we finished cleaning the kitchen, Edward excused himself claiming that he forgot he promised to do something for Carlisle and would see me tomorrow. I sat down on the couch when he left, hugged my knees to my chest, and waited for Charlie to speak. Once the game was over, he turned the television off and swiveled in his chair to face me.

"There is something important I want to talk to you about." He nervously ran his hand over his face. "As you know, Sue and I have been seeing a lot of each other since January. To be honest with you, I never thought I would be seriously involved with another woman after your mother left. Sue…she's different. I'm not nervous and tongue tied around her. Maybe it's because we've been friends for so long." Charlie had a far away look in his eyes.

This was a side of Charlie I had never seen. He kept his feelings to himself and seldom spoke of the past. I knew he had tried to hide his interest in Sue Clearwater (before he had the courage to ask her out) due to his friendship with her departed husband, Harry. Where one man's story ended, another man's chapter began.

"I wanted to let you know that I plan on asking Sue to marry me. I've already spoken with Seth and Leah for their blessing."

"I imagine that went well." I felt for Charlie. Leah was a bitch.

He rolled his eyes — a smile played on his lips. "Seth was ecstatic. Leah…well, she's still trying to cope with the loss of her father. I explained I had no intention of wanting to replace Harry because he is irreplaceable. She still doesn't want me around, I can tell." I was keenly aware of how she felt about me. I just wished her feelings for me wouldn't come between her having a good relationship with Charlie.

"When are you going to ask her?"

"During the fireworks show on the beach. Who knows, she may turn me down flat." He gave a nervous laugh and wiped his brow.

"Sue isn't crazy, Dad." I stood up and gave him a hug. "I'm happy for you."

"I thought you would be mad or something."

"Why would you think that?"

His eyes shifted from mine. "You know…you put off marrying last year to take care of me, and now here I am thinking of marrying while your life appears to be in limbo."

"Limbo?" I chuckled. "Edward and I are engaged — again." Charlie shot a questioning look at me. "We haven't set a date. Alice is doing all the planning." I cringed.

"I figured you would want a small wedding."

"Well," I sighed, "you only get married once…I mean, only get married first once."

He mumbled what sounded like a congratulations before I headed up to my room where I knew Edward would be waiting. He was laid back on my bed reading some of the pamphlets I had received through the mail about online classes.

"With Charlie marrying Sue, that takes some of the responsibility off you." He peered at me over the brochure. "There is no reason why you shouldn't be able to take courses in Port Angeles at the community college there. Better yet, we could go ahead and beat Sue and Charlie down the aisle, then move to Alaska or Maine, and attend college as husband and wife."

Edward always found some reason why I shouldn't take online courses. He never said it, but I could tell that he wasn't thrilled about me working in the school cafeteria. It wasn't that he didn't respect my job, he just thought it best if I didn't work in a profession with a lot of sharp items and machinery. Since I had started working at Forks High in September of last year, I had already sliced my hand open, burned my arm, fell numerous times, and broke my toe. The only papers in my file were employee accident forms.

"Wait," I said, falling down on the bed next to him. "I thought the deal was once I married you, you were going to change me."

He laid the pamphlet face down on his chest. His eyes were exceptionally golden.

"I thought maybe you had a change of heart about that part of the bargain after all that's happened. What if Charlie —"

"He has Sue now. Renee is dead. I have no desire to see Phil." Phil and I hadn't spoken since our coarse words with each other after Renee's funeral. "There's no reason to put it off — especially now. After the close call I had in Cancun with the Volturi, it's too dangerous for you _not _to change me."

Edward was quiet only for a few minutes. "I'll make a deal with you." I groaned and threw my arm over my eyes. "If you attend college for only one semester in Port Angeles, we can tell Alice we want to have a Christmas wedding. I'll change you after the holidays."

"I'll be twenty," I moaned.

"If if makes you feel any better, you don't look a day over fourteen."

I glared at his smiling face. "It doesn't."

Edward put his finger to his lips and quickly hid in the closet. It was a sign that Charlie was approaching my door.

"Bells?" Charlie tapped on the door before entering. "I just wanted to know if I can tell Sue that you will be joining us this weekend. If you don't think you can make it without Edward, then invite him along too."

"Edward already has plans with Alice." I smiled. "You can count on me for moral support."

Edward stepped out of the closet with a frown on his face once Charlie was gone. He had promised not to be overbearing, so he didn't mention his lack of enthusiasm about me attending a party at La Push. He laid back down next to me, and never said a word about the sudden change of plans for upcoming holiday.

I assumed Jacob didn't call to invite me to the party because he had already heard from Seth or Leah that I was going to be there. I hadn't seen or heard from him in over a month. Had I not been spending so much time with Edward, I would have been angry by his aloofness. However, I wasn't overly concerned by his absence. The pack had been through a lot since April, and they needed his support.

Charlie and I left at twilight on Sunday, and headed to the party. He squirmed in the passenger seat of my truck. His hand nervously kept patting the pocket of his jeans to make sure the small, black jewelry box was still there. I chose not to wear my engagement ring. I didn't want to risk losing it, but mainly I didn't want a confrontation with Jacob.

I bypassed the Clearwater's house, and continued on the road to the beach. The shore was lit up with torches. It looked like most of the reservation had attended the party. Hip-hop music was blaring from some unknown location. There were tables set up for food, and fire pits were smoking as meat roasted over the hot coals.

Sue Clearwater stood from the table where she was seated, and waved Charlie and me over. I gave him a reassuring pat on the back as we headed in her direction. Billy was chatting with an older man I had never met. Seated next to Sue was Mrs. Ateara. I glanced around trying to locate a member of the pack, but was unable to spot anyone.

"Bella, how have you been?" Sue asked as she gave me a hug.

"Fine, thanks." I sat down next to Charlie.

"We haven't seen you around in about a month."

"Yeah, I've been busy."

"You and Edward still together?" Sue leaned forward to look around Charlie where she could see me. She smiled showing her perfect white teeth.

"Yes."

"That's good. He sure has been a God send — helping me with Seth."

"Where is Seth?" I asked, glancing around again at the groups of people gathered on the shore.

Sue pointed towards the north end of the beach, towards the opposite end of where everyone had conjugated. There, in the dim light, stood eight figures. Jacob stood a head taller than all of them. I stood to make my way over to them, but was stopped when Rachel and Delilah Flores sat down at the table. Next thing I knew, I was caught in a conversation with Delilah about which local colleges were the best academically speaking.

"Have you finally decided to get a degree?" Jacob's voice boomed behind me. He moved around the table and sat across from me. Embry took a seat next to Delilah, while Paul squeezed between Rachel and Jacob. I looked for Quil and found him over by the fire pits. Seth and Collin sat at another table with some kids who looked to be their age. It was clear that the pack meeting had adjourned.

"I have. I'm looking into taking some courses at Peninsula College in Port Angeles."

We continued talking about future plans while we ate. As always, the food was outstanding. I learned that Jacob had entered in the demolition derby that Forks held every year for their Fourth of July celebration. He had come in third. They spoke of the upcoming Quileute Days and who was planning on entering in the canoe races and softball tournament. Delilah spoke eagerly of her interest in the street fair and invited me to come.

When we finished eating, Jacob asked me if I wanted to take a walk. I glanced over at Charlie, who no longer appeared to be nervous, and quietly left with Jacob.

We walked north along the shore line while he gave me updates on how the gang was doing. Jared had left the party early to be with Kim. She had come out of her coma shortly after their battle with Irina. Jared spoke with the police about what happened on their prom night. His story was he swerved to keep from hitting an animal, which wasn't a lie — just not the whole truth. He told them he had hit his head pretty hard and really didn't remember a lot. He left to get help for Kim, but passed out somewhere in the woods where someone from Ozette helped nurse him back to health. There were a lot of holes in his story and it was evident that the police wasn't buying it. However, Kim had made a full recovery and couldn't remember anything. In the end, Jared got lucky and only got his drivers license suspended.

The laughter and music from the party grew faint as we walked to our favorite spot: a piece of white driftwood tree. We sat down and faced the ocean to get a good view of the fireworks once they started. The sound of the water lapping against the shore was soothing. I closed my eyes and breathed in the cool, salty air. I had always felt safe at La Push, even when times where chaotic. Jacob would never fully understand how thankful I would always be to him for keeping my sanity in check during the months Edward had been away.

"Tonight's the big night, huh?" He moved closer to keep me from getting chilled.

"You mean Charlie? Yeah, he's a nervous wreck."

"I can only imagine." There was hesitation in his voice.

"I take it Leah isn't too thrilled about the whole ordeal." Leah hadn't stayed for the party once the pack meeting was over.

"There are a lot of things going on right now."

I quickly glanced over at him. There was a concerned look on his face that wasn't like Jacob.

"What?" I demanded. "Is it Irina's sisters?" I was certain Edward hadn't been completely honest with me about their meeting with the Denali Coven. He still hid things from me thinking it was safer for me if I didn't know. It only made me angry and paranoid.

"No, calm down." He chuckled, and protectively placed his arm around my waist. "Sam is having some problems with Emily. He thinking about sending her to a psychiatrist. She's only accepting certain visitors."

"You think I should try and see her?"

Jacob moved tensely next to me. "I don't think that's a good idea," he said, spacing each word evenly.

"What have I done?"

"It's not you, Bella. It's those bloodsuckers you hang around."

I jumped up from the driftwood and started making my way back towards the party. Jacob called after me, but I ignored him. I had only made it a few steps when he took a hold of my arm. I pulled free from his grasp, and turned to face him.

"You can't possibly blame the Cullens for what happened," I yelled. "If it weren't for them, the entire pack would be dead."

"Look how close they were to the leech who personally attacked us," Jacob shot back. "How can a coven who has the types of special abilities they have, not have been able to see what was about to happen? Bella, you can't tell me that Edward wouldn't love for something to happen to me." He looked at me with a sardonic expression that sent my temper roaring.

"If you are suggesting that Edward knew what was happening, and _purposely _put my own life at risk just to hurt you — your ego's as big as your body. They are no longer friends with the Denali Coven because they helped you guys."

"That wasn't much of a loss for them." He continued before I could object. "I'm just saying, there are a lot of unanswered questions."

"Let me guess — Paul's unanswered questions, right?" It was no secret that Paul would look for any reason to wage war against the Cullens. He always complained about the treaty that Chief Black had made with Carlisle, and was constantly trying to find some way to relinquish it.

"Paul isn't the only one." Jacob's brown eyes were guarded. "Look, the last thing I wanted to do tonight was argue. I think we should just get away for a week. You still owe me a bike ride remember?" He took my hand and pulled me back to the piece of driftwood. "Think about, Bella. A week of nothing but open road. We can ride east to the state line then head back."

"I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Our window of opportunity is closing." Chills ran down my spine. Jacob couldn't have known that I was going to become Mrs. Edward Cullen in five months; that in five months I would no longer be human. "College classes begin in September, so we need to plan our trip either this month or the next." I let out a sigh of relief. He didn't know.

"I'll see. I'll have to check with Charlie, and the library —"

"And Edward." Jacob rolled his eyes.

"Yes, and Edward. Not to get his permission, but to let him know."

The fireworks started, and we sat next to each other in silence. The dark sky over the ocean lit up with blue and red lights. The display was spectacular as the water mirrored the sky.

After the celebration, we joined the dwindling crowd. Sue and Charlie were surrounded by people wishing them congratulations on their engagement. Sue was smiling, flashing her small diamond to the women in the crowd.

Jacob hugged my bye, and I promised I would call him to let him know when the best time for our trip would be. I had told him that I didn't need Edward's permission, but I didn't feel that was entirely true. Visiting Jacob at La Push was one thing; going on a bike ride for a week was something totally different.

When Charlie and I arrived home, we each said goodnight, and parted at the top of the stairs going to our own room. Though the Volvo wasn't in the front yard, I wasn't surprised to find Edward patiently waiting for me in my room. He was on the internet reading the world news.

"It appears that our nation had a quiet Fourth." He grinned over at me.

"I wish you could have seen the fireworks over the ocean," I said, laying back on the bed. "It wasn't like anything I've ever seen."

"I'm glad you had fun. How are Jacob and the others?"

I hesitated at answering him. I wasn't sure how much he knew of their accusations.

"Kim, Jared's girlfriend is out of the hospital and doing well. Looks like no criminal charges will be pressed. Embry was there with Delilah. I failed to ask about that relationship. I didn't get a chance to talk to Seth, but he looked good." He continued to stare at me as if trying to read my thoughts though he knew it was pointless. "Emily isn't doing so good. She's taking the loss of their child hard."

"That's understandable. How is Jacob?"

"Fine. He…he wants us to go on a bike trip. Go east to the state line and then back. I told him I planned on going to Peninsula College in the fall, so he wants us to go before school starts."

"For how long?" Edward's face remained calm.

"A week." I stood and walked over to my dresser to grab my night clothes. "I think I owe it to him. It may be the last time I see him. Once he finds out the wedding is back on…I doubt he will want to have anything to do with me."

Edward remained silent while I slipped out of the room and changed in the bathroom. He didn't mention La Push or the bike ride anymore when I returned.

So much happened in the week following the Fourth, I felt like I was spinning in a huge tea cup at an amusement park. There was the surprise visit from Jessica. She apologized for her outburst at the Valentine's Dance, and claimed that because of me, her and Mike's relationship was stronger than ever. They were planning an early September wedding, and wanted me to be one of her bridesmaids. She started crying and I couldn't refuse. I would have to cancel over the telephone.

Sue wasn't going to wait that long for her wedding. She and Charlie were setting their date for mid August. It wasn't going to be anything fancy. She called and reserved the lodge for the reception. There was an old Baptist church she planned on having the ceremony in because she didn't want Edward to feel uncomfortable on the reservation.

With a wedding planned in August, and a wedding planned in September, it seemed like the best time for Jacob and I to take our bike ride was before July ended. I made a date with him at Loco's Diner in La Push. He brought the map and planned our trip. We were going to be traveling east, making stops in Tacoma, Odessa, and ending in Spokane. On the way home he wanted us to go through Wenatchee National Forest. The trip would take a week. We planned to leave out on Monday morning.

I gave Edward a copy of our route. "I don't want to bother you on your trip, but will you at least call me every night before you go to sleep?" he asked.

"I'll call you when we stop and when we start to leave." I was relieved he was taking this so well. Then a thought occurred to me. "You're not going to be following behind us, are you?"

He laughed. "I wont lie and say I hadn't thought about it. But no, us Cullen men are going to be taking a trip ourselves. Carlisle wants us to go camping near Garibaldi Provincial Park north of Vancouver. I trust Jacob wont let any harm come to you." Edward and I spent all day Sunday together. He left early Monday morning with a kiss that I would remember for a very long time.

Jacob was inside the house receiving some words of advice from Charlie, when I stumbled down the stairs with my backpack.

"How do you plan on staying upright on a bike when you can't even stay upright on your feet?" Charlie asked with a shake of his head.

"Two wheels are more reliable than my feet."

Jacob and I promised to be safe and stay out of trouble. I glanced back to see Charlie's worried fatherly face as we pulled away.

Jacob took the lead, going south on 101. The sun was rising in the east, while the outline of the moon was still visible to the west. It was like two different worlds and I was stuck in the middle. Jacob reminded me of the sun, and Edward the moon. Even when the sun was out, the moon was always there — patiently waiting to shine. The sun gives warmth, but the moon controls the tides.

I couldn't really feel the wind in my hair. Edward and Charlie made me swear that I would wear my helmet at all times — something I was now regretting. Jacob stayed at a decent speed. It had been a while since I rode my bike and was a little shaky.

The further we got from Forks, the more I understood the meaning of leaving things behind. It felt good to get away. I didn't have to worry about school, work, Charlie's upcoming marriage, _my _upcoming marriage, and upcoming change.

I was thinking about what all I didn't have to worry about when we passed US 12, which would have taken us to Matlock, and continued south on 101. The traffic was moving steadily, and I couldn't get Jacob's attention. It wasn't like him to miss a turn or get lost, so I didn't panic too much. I just settled back, and continued to enjoy the bright sun and fresh air.

We finally stopped for gas in Raymond. I slowly got off the bike, my legs feeling numb. Jacob grinned back at me. "I'll fill your tank, go on inside and shake it loose."

I clipped my helmet on the handlebar next to my clutch lever, and went inside the store. I didn't feel like sitting, so I just walked around the store.

"You hungry?" Jacob asked, joining me by the magazine rack.

"I'm more confused than hungry. Weren't we supposed to have turned back at Aberdeen?"

He gave a mischievous smile. "I had a change of plans. I thought it would be more fun and scenery pleasant to travel down the west coast. Go into Oregon all the way to Chetco Cove."

My face began to burn. "That's all the way down to the California state line. You didn't just have a change of plans, you intended to do this all along. You lied to me." I was fuming. Heads in the store started to turn.

"Come on, Bell — admit that you are having fun. Let's not argue. I only did it because I didn't want _him _to follow us or miraculously find us."

"He's going camping north of Vancouver. What if something happens to Charlie, and no one can find us because I gave them the wrong directions?"

"Billy knows. So does Quil and Embry."

I stormed out of the store. I was still digging around in my saddle bag, looking for my cell phone, when Jacob finished paying and stood next to me.

"What?" he asked.

"It's okay for your friends to know where we are going, but not mine?"

"I trust my friends."

I stopped digging and turned to him. "Like you trusted Brady and Collin?"

"They were under a spell — that doesn't count."

"You are such a hypocrite. The Cullens have done _nothing _to give you any reason not to trust them."

Jacob looked to the ground and sighed. "You're right. I should have told you the truth. I don't trust them, but I do trust you. I'm sorry. We don't have to go that far south. How about going as far as Gold Beach?"

"I should tell Edward and Charlie."

"Sure, sure. We can do that." He glanced up at the sky. "Let's continue on, and we can camp at Long Beach."

There was no sense in arguing any more with him. I could have turned around and went back, but I was having fun riding. We continued south, and the sunset was amazing. The sky was a canvass of pink, blue, and yellow. We made it to Long Beach before the sun had completely vanished. Jacob had our tent up in no time. He left me to unpack the sleeping bags and get settled in, while he went for some much needed groceries.

He brought back weenies for roasting, buns, chips, candy, packets of ketchup and mustard. He said there was a diner we could stop by in the morning and eat breakfast. We sat around the fire and told stories. I had two hotdogs while he ate the rest.

"See, this isn't so bad." He chewed on a Twizzler stick like a straw.

I couldn't help but smile. "No."

"You have fun with me, don't you?"

"I've always had fun with you."

I felt Jacob's dark eyes studying me. "Tell me, would you be as attracted to Edward if he was a human?"

I stared into the fire, and thought about his question. "I don't know," I answered honestly. "Sure, it was his looks and mysterious ways that intrigued me, but we share so much on a humanity level — its like we were meant to be together. I believe he is my soul mate."

"That's strange, since he has no soul." His voice was heavy with sarcasm.

"Do you believe all vampires don't have souls?"

"Yes. How can they?"

"The Cullens don't kill humans — doesn't that restraint mean something?"

He slowly poked at the fire. "Just because they don't kill them now, doesn't mean they haven't in the past or that they wont in the future." His eyes met mine. "Jasper's close encounter with you two years ago is evident of that."

"He was struggling then."

"Whose to say it wont happen again, Bella? Whose to say another band of leeches wont drop in for a visit and think you make a tasty meal? What if they are stronger and tougher than James and Victoria?"

I shook my head to erase the visions of the past. "It's not going to matter much longer anyway."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Jacob asked with identifiable anger.

"I'm going to marry him after Christmas. By next year, I'll be a true Cullen."

His eyes smoldered with fire, and his face twisted in anger. "They can't do that." His tone caused me to tremble. "It will cause a war, Bella. I can't protect you when you become one of them. He has you so brainwashed."

"It was my idea."

"That's what he wants you to think," he yelled.

"Edward doesn't have that kind of mind control over me."

"He may not be able to read your mind — but he can still control your desires." Jacob was pacing back and forth. I noticed the quivering of his muscles. "Is that the lifestyle you want? To live a cold, heartless life with the constant need for human blood? A life of seclusion? Once you choose that life, there is no going back," he warned.

"I know, Jacob, I know." I took a few deep breaths, and nervously ran my fingers through my hair. "The longer I stay human, the more danger I put him and the rest of his family in. While I was in Cancun, I ran into one of the members of the Volturi." A low growl escaped Jacob's mouth. "He didn't recognize me, but it's only a matter of time before they start to wonder."

"You could stay with me and we would be able to protect you."

"What about them? I can't walk away from him. If something were to happen to any of them because of me…" The thought tore at my insides.

"It's because of them that you are in this predicament," Jacob snarled.

"It's a mixture of all of our faults," I replied in a firm voice. "Jake, I love him. I'm sorry, I know how it must hurt you to hear me say that…but I really do love him, and I know he loves me. He tried to leave me and it nearly killed him. I've tried to push him away and was miserable — depressed. We're not whole without each other. One can't function without the other. I don't want there to be a fight between us, but I am going to be with him forever — one way or another."

Jacob's jaw tightened and he looked up at the sky.

"It's getting late." I got up and brushed my jeans off. I walked over to my bike, and started looking for my cell phone again. "I know it's in here," I said to myself out loud.

"What are you looking for?"

"My cell phone. I promised Edward I would call him. I know I put it in my bag when I left the house, and now it's disappeared." The only time I had left my bike unattended was when we stopped at the gas station in Raymond. Jacob had been left alone with my things. I turned and glared at him. "You don't know where my cell phone is, do you?"

"No." He looked everywhere but at me.

"Jacob, so help me…," my voice shook with anger.

"This guy asked to borrow a phone. I left mine at the house. I _may_ have given him yours."

"I can't believe you," I yelled. "I'm going home in the morning." I stomped over to the tent.

"Come on, Bella. Is it too much to ask for a week alone with you? I just want you to forget about him for one lousy week." I threw Jacob's sleeping bag out. "What are you doing?"

"Letting you sleep outside where you belong."

"You're going to get cold without me." He flashed his perfect white teeth.

"Frankly, I prefer the cold. You should know that by now." I smiled, and zipped the tent closed.

The next day, we loaded up without saying a word. We ate in silence at the diner he had seen, then continued south on 101. I had been bold telling him that I was going to go home, but in truth I didn't want to travel alone on my bike. A young girl on a motorcycle far away from home with no cell phone was asking for trouble.

We crossed into Oregon, making a few stops along the way. That night we settled in Newport. Jacob and I were on limited speaking terms. I did allow him to sleep inside the tent that night.

On the third day we made it to our destination, Gold Beach. We did the ritual: Jacob set up the tent, then I set up our sleeping bags inside. I was gathering some sticks for our fire, when I noticed him speaking to some guys. He walked back over to where I was.

"Don't worry about building a fire for tonight. I got directions to a cool place for us to eat and have some fun." I didn't question him, only followed.

We got back on our motorcycles, and started moving away from the scenic ocean view, through the city, and onto a gravel road outside of town. We finally stopped in front of a tavern. Seventies rock rattled the windows of the building. The parking lot was filled with a few trucks, but mostly motorcycles.

"You've got to be kidding me," I said, taking my helmet off and cutting my eyes at Jacob. "We're not old enough to step foot in there."

"Do I look younger than twenty-one to you?" He grinned and winked. "No one knows us here. What's a road trip on a motorcycle if you're not going to step foot in a bar? Besides, the guys back at the camp told me this place has the best wings in Oregon." Jacob bent down to whisper in my ear, "I wont tell if you wont." I laughed and shook my head at his crazy idea. There was a good possibility we would get thrown out as soon as we walked through the doors.

The inside reminded me of an old western movie, except the cowboys were replaced with Hells Angels gang members. Every head turned and stared in our direction. Jacob took control and led me to an empty booth.

"Jacob, I think we should leave," I mumbled, hoping no one could read lips or my body language.

"What'll it be, doll?" A fuchsia haired lady asked. She had on sky blue eye shadow, black lipstick, and hot pink nail polish. It was hard to tell where her tattooed skin stopped and her clothes began.

"I'll take a beer and twenty-four of your hot-n-spicy wings."

Jacob's eyes encouraged me to talk. "Um…a coke and twenty-four of your sweet and tangy wings."

She clicked her tongue ring on her front teeth. "You mean sweet and sour?"

"Yeah." She rolled her eyes and walked off, then shortly returned with a coke and a beer.

Jacob looked around the room. "You want to play some pool?"

"Sure." Before I could tell him I was only joking, he was up and walking over to one of the crowded tables. I turned and desperately searched out the window for a silver Volvo or yellow Porsche.

"Dude, we just want to play a game of pool." Jacob's raised voice drew my attention back inside the tavern.

"Newcomers don't have any rights to our pool tables." A man, who was a head shorter than Jacob, said as he crossed his arms and leaned against the pool table. He had jet black hair slicked back in a ponytail. His arms were covered in tattoos and his sunglasses covered his eyes. He was apparently the leader of a small gang that surrounded the pool table. A young blond girl was looking Jacob up and down while rubbing the leader's shoulders. The other seven guys laughed.

"Fine. We'll wait on the next available table," Jacob said.

"We're using all of them." There was more laughter.

"You own this bar?" The guy didn't move or say a word in response to Jacob's question. "I don't see any names on these tables."

"You asking for trouble?" The laughter stopped, and the man's smile quickly vanished.

"I'm just asking to play a game of pool."

I slid out of the booth and walked over to Jacob. "Come on," I said, pulling on his arm. "I didn't really want to play anyway. Just drop it. Let's eat and leave."

"I tell you what," the leader smirked. "I'll play you a game of pool and if I win, I get your girlfriend for the night." His gang started laughing again. I could tell that the blond didn't like his idea.

"What do I get if I win?" Jacob asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

The guy's smile reminded me of James. "You got to play a game of pool. You've already won."

"Jacob?" I slightly shook my head, but he wasn't paying attention.

"You're on." He looked over at my panic stricken face and smiled. "Don't worry, I'm not going to lose. If I do — run for the door."

I stepped away, and numbly sat down at the bar. I shook my head at the bartender who was making his way towards me, and dropped my head on the counter.

"You're boyfriend must be a gambler."

I glanced over at the man sitting next to me.

"He's not my boyfriend." _My boyfriend would kill him if he knew what was going on, _I thought to myself.

"You two don't favor, so I'm guessing just friends?"

"Something like that." I studied the man a little closer. He had short, light golden hair with streaks of silver. His tanned face was covered with gray stubble. His squinted eyes were crystal blue. He wore a leather vest with a golden eagle, gray t-shirt, and jeans with biker boots. He steadily drank his beer as if savoring every swallow. He reminded me of a renegade Charlie.

"You from around here?" I asked.

"Kayenta, Arizona."

"Small world. I'm from Phoenix." He raised a questioning eyebrow. "I moved to Forks, Washington a little over two years ago." I took a glance over my shoulder. From the frowns on the guys at the pool table, Jacob looked to be winning. "What brings you here?" I didn't want to sound nosey, but talking to him helped ease my mind.

"I like traveling. The west coast is my favorite." He nodded for the bartender to bring him another beer. "I've been all over the world, but there is no prettier place than the United States."

"Amen, brother," the bartender said as he placed another bottle in front of the man.

"You travel much?" he asked, popping the top off his bottle.

"No. I went to Florida a few times when Renee…my mother was alive. I did go to Italy."

"Mm, Italy?"

"Yeah." I didn't tell him that I didn't get to see anything but Volterra. "Recently I went on a cruise to Cancun."

"Didn't drink the water did you?"

I laughed. "No." I also didn't tell him that it wouldn't had been the water that would have killed me.

A commotion behind us cut our conversation short. I was relieved to see that Jacob had won the game; however, the other player and his goons were showing unsportsmanlike conduct.

"I saw him cheat. Didn't you see him cheat, Carl?" the leader said.

"Yeah, I saw him cheat, Bones. Didn't you see him cheat, T-Rex?"

"Yeah."

"I won fair and square." Jacob's shoulders tensed. In a room full of people it would not had been a good time for him to lose his temper. I jumped off the stool to pull him away.

"I think I'm going to take my prize anyway." Bones was fast, but not as fast as Jacob. Jacob pushed me out of the way as Bone's pool stick broke across his abdomen. Such a powerful hit would have broken a normal guys ribs, but Jacob wasn't normal.

He picked the leader up, and hurled him onto the pool table. Seeing the trouble that their leader had, the other guys got smart and attacked Jacob four at a time. I went to try to pull one of the guys off him, but another member of the gang pushed me hard to the ground.

Bones quickly gathered his pride and senses, and jumped off the table. I saw the flash of silver. I went to scream a warning to Jacob, when the guy I had been talking to joined the fight and punched one of the guys who was holding Jacob's arms. That caused more confusion, and a bar room brawl broke out.

I crawled on the dirty floor a safe distance from the fight. A loud boom sound made my ears ring, and everybody went still.

"Bones," the bartender warned holding a shotgun with a smoking barrel pointed to the ceiling. "I think it's time for you and your gang to be headed out. You've had enough for today."

Bone's blood covered mouth turned up into a devious grin. Unbelievably, his sunglasses were still in place. He made a whistle, and walked out the door with his beat-up, smiling gang behind him. The music started playing again, and everyone went back to eating, drinking, playing cards, and playing pool.

The fuchsia haired waitress signaled to Jacob and me that our wings were ready. I slid back into my seat and Jacob sat across from me. My cushion shifted weight as the man I had been sitting next to earlier joined us at our table.

"Thanks for the assist," Jacob said. He signaled to the waitress for two more beers.

"I hate to see a guy outnumbered," the man replied. The waitress winked at him as she set two more beers and a coke to the table. "You need a doctor?" The man pointed to a blood stained tear at Jacob's side. _So, Bones did manage a few stabs at him, _I thought to myself.

"Nah. It's just a few scratches. I didn't even feel them." Jacob offered the man some of his wings, but he held up his hand to refuse.

"You kids runaway?" he asked.

"We're not kids," Jacob said.

"If you're both over eighteen — you just are." The guy grinned at Jacob. I was surprised to see a row of perfect teeth. They were white though slightly stained with coffee or tobacco — or both. "You could pull off being twenty-five with your physical appearance, but your eyes tell me you're sixteen."

I couldn't contain my laughter. Jacob frowned. "Eighteen."

"We're taking a bike trip down the west coast," I explained. "This is our stopping point. We're heading back to Forks tomorrow. I'm Bella Swan." I held my hand out to the stranger. His hand was rough as his took mine and gave it a light shake.

"Towner. Alex Towner, but all my friends just call me Towner." He glanced over at Jacob who was quietly eating his wings. "You two do this every year?"

"No," I answered. "This will be our first _and _last year. I'm getting married in December."

Jacob moaned and threw down his wing.

"I take it you don't like the guy," Towner said, sipping his beer.

"That's an understatement," Jacob said. "He's not right for her. She's just so brainwashed thinking he is the love of her life…."

"He is the love of my life. Why can't you get it through that thick skull of yours?"

Jacob slammed his hand on the table. "I'm not going to idly sit by and let you kill yourself!" We both froze remembering Towner was at the table.

"This guy dangerous?" he asked after a moment of silence.

"Yes."

"No more dangerous than you," I shot back at Jacob.

"Oh, please." Jacob's eyes moved to address Towner. "His family is a cult." I kicked Jacob under the table, but it didn't faze him. "When — _if _she marries him, she has to change her lifestyle and become like them. She is going to have to cut all her ties with her family and friends once she changes. Now, if she were to be with someone like me, she wouldn't have to change at all. She could go on enjoying life as normal."

"Don't pretend that you aren't in a cult yourself." I turned and faced Towner. "He's in a cult too. The only difference is his cult isn't as obvious as the one my fiancé is in. True, I wouldn't have to change to be in his cult, but it's not the cult I want to join."

Towner took a couple of swallows of his beer eyeing Jacob and me. He finally spoke to Jacob. "Is this guy abusive?"

Jacob rolled his eyes. "No. He's too protective of her to the point of possessive."

"He's working on that, but it doesn't help when you give my cell phone to a stranger just so I can't call him. Or when you tell him we are taking a trip east and end up going south."

"Sounds like you have some issues as well." Towner grinned. "The fact that she is on this trip with you tells me he is not that possessive." Towner sighed and leaned back with his fingers interlocked behind his head. "I believe what we have here is a classic love triangle. You love her, but she loves another guy who you think is completely wrong, but you think you are the only one who can see it. Main problem is you are her best friend — possibly only friend — therefore she can't just forget about you. Best friends can be just as important as a lover."

Jacob gagged. Towner laughed and sat up, crossing his arms on the table. "You want my advice?" He didn't wait for an answer. "Support her. Be there for her when she needs you — and there will come a time when she will need you. If he isn't hitting her, or verbally abusing her, or cheating on her…. I don't know what type of 'cult' he's in, but Ms. Swan seems to have a good head on her shoulders and knows right from wrong."

"You don't understand," Jacob said. "If she joins his cult, we can't be friends anymore. There is a treaty that keeps my people from being anything but enemies with his. Once she joins his family, there is a bound to be a war that I wont be able to stop."

"Bullshit," Towner said. "Look son, laws are changed everyday. There wouldn't be no damn treaty to tell me who I could and couldn't be friends with. If you love her like a true friend, you would find some courage in that oversized body of yours to stand up and fight for your friendship. The battle to try and change her mind has already been fought and lost. If you keep on, you are going to lose her altogether.

"I know how it feels to lose someone you love. My daughter dated a guy who I didn't approve of. I had rules — certain demands I expected to be followed at my house." His blue eyes sparkled when he smiled. "I'm retired Marine. I was strict and closed minded back then. I put my foot down and told her she couldn't see him as long as she lived under my roof. She left. That was eighteen years ago. I never got the chance to apologize or make things right. I was overseas at war when my other daughter called me and told me told me Abby had died in a car accident."

A muscle quivered in his jaw. "Believe me when I say life is too short to be fussing over an old treaty. Enjoy and savor what you have now. Laugh and have fun. One day, one of you aren't going to be here. Don't let a pettily, insignificant treaty rule your life."

Jacob and I stared at each other and shared a smile.

We ordered forty-eight more wings from Kalli, our waitress. She sat down next to Jacob with more beers and a coke. We listened to Towner talk about his life as a military man.

He joined the Marines during the Vietnam War. His older brother had enlisted just as the war had begun. He didn't make it. Towner wanted to vent some of his anger on his brother's killers, so he enlisted — the last of the Towner men. He survived. He was later involved with the invasion of the Panama Canal, then later in the Gulf War. He served two years in Afghanistan before he retired. He spent his free time visiting his two kids and grandkids. His wife divorced him before the Gulf War. She wanted a divorce from the military but couldn't as long as she was still married to him. They remained close friends. When I asked if he ever planned on remarrying, he gave me that smile and said, "I'm still a Marine — retired or not. It would take one hell of a woman to put up with me."

He said it was hard on his kids and wife, living with a military man. It seemed that they joined without willingly doing so. He missed a lot while he was away. He talked of his family with great respect. He also told stories of friends he had met and lost. Once again, Jacob and I shared a knowing glance of how precious life is and shouldn't be wasted arguing as we often did.

"Do you regret it?" Kalli asked. "Losing so much to fight for a seemingly ungrateful nation?"

Towner looked around the half-empty tavern. The bartender was wiping down his counter. A cook was sitting down, drinking a glass of water or vodka, laughing with one of the customers. Kalli sat with us ignoring the tables that needed cleaning, and the floors that needed sweeping.

"No. The only thing I regret is getting older — not being able to be over there right now helping those young guys out. I feel bad that my family had to suffer, but one day they will understand I did it for them just as much as I did it for you, or you," he said looking at me and Jacob. "Someone has to pay the price for the freedom we enjoy.

"This nation just celebrated the Fourth. Some saw it as a day to have a party, some saw it as a day for profits, some saw it as just a day to not have to go to work. I spent my Fourth with a buddy I shared a foxhole with in Vietnam." He glanced at his watch. "He's probably dead now. Cancer. We shared memories — some we laughed at and some we cried. When I left his house, I drove my bike to a high point and watched the stars. Men and women fought hard just so I could have that luxury. My sacrifice was small compared to some."

Towner led us back to our campsite to be sure that Bones and his crew weren't waiting to ambush us down the road. He wished Jacob and I both luck on our journey back to Forks, as well as our journey in life. He and Jacob walked off and spoke privately. I never asked Jacob what they talked about. Whatever it was made Jacob unusually friendly on the way home.

My shoulders immediately tensed when we pulled up in the yard Sunday afternoon. The silver Volvo was parked directly behind my truck.

"Jacob, you should —" I didn't have time to finish my sentence. The door flew open and Edward looked like a caged animal. His eyes were black as coal. The purple under them was a sure sign that he had not eaten in quite some time.

"I should rip you to shreds!" He grabbed Jacob and threw him from his bike. Jacob phased before he hit the ground.

"Edward," I yelled running over to him. "Stop! I know you're angry, and you have a right to be, but please, don't do anything stupid. Go inside and I'll explain everything," I begged.

"Do you know how worried I've been?" He kept his eyes focused on Jacob. I glanced around to make sure no one was witnessing the vampire and werewolf facing off in my front yard. "After two days of not being able to reach you, I came back to Forks. Charlie didn't know any more than I did. I called Seth. He told me he thought something was up by the way Quil and Embry kept snickering when someone mentioned your trip. Since Seth can't phase, and is apparently being blackballed for his friendship with me, he couldn't help much. I tracked your cell down to Raymond. Some homeless man said a big dude gave it to him. I couldn't get a clear picture from him because of the hallucinations he apparently deals with on a daily basis. You wouldn't believe the thoughts that ran through my mind after what happened in Cancun, and then the problems from just a few months ago."

"I didn't know of the change of plans myself until we got to Raymond. Then later I was going to call and let you know, but my phone had disappeared."

"You aren't the one who should be apologizing," he sneered. "That four legged mutt should be. I trusted you with her. That's twice. I'm not giving you a chance for a third strike." Edward grabbed my things from off my bike, ignoring Jacob's snarls and snaps, and quickly went back in the house.

"You can't blame him," I told Jacob. I cautiously patted his mane. "Go home before someone sees you. You can come back tomorrow and get your bike."

Jacob nudged me slightly with his head before he took off in the woods across from the house. I took a deep breath before entering in mine. Edward left a note on the end table telling me he would be back as soon as he fed. I started a load of laundry and called Sue's house to let Charlie know I was home.

"You better call Edward and let him know you're home. Be sure Jacob isn't around when he shows up," Charlie advised.

"Edward's already here." Charlie gave a low whistle. "Tell Sue I'll get with her later this week about the wedding," I said then hung up.

I was laying on my bed reading a book I had picked up at the library, when Edward slowly entered my room. His eyes still looked dark, but not as black as before. There was still a tint of purple there as well.

"I'm sorry for losing my temper like that." He remained frozen at the door. "Did you have fun?" he asked when I didn't say anything.

"The trip home was better than the trip down." I sat up and motioned for him to join me on the bed. He sat down and I moved closer to him. His arm easily slipped around my waist. I leaned into him; how I had missed his touch.

I told him about the places we stopped at and saw. I described the scenery of the west coast as if he had never seen it before. He didn't seem to mind. I left out the bar room brawl, but I did mention Towner.

"I think you and he would get along very well. I wouldn't mind inviting him to our wedding."

"Whatever you want, love," he said as I studied his perfect hands. I could never get enough of him.

"I think he was finally able to talk some sense into Jacob."

"He's my new best friend." Edward joked.

"I think Jacob finally understands my love for you." I pulled his arms tighter around me, and leaned back on his chest. His breath was cool and sweet against my cheek. "Semper Fi."

"Semper Fi," Edward whispered as his lips touched my neck.


	9. Chapter 9 August

Chapter 9

**August**

**Author's Notes: **Some of the Quileute women are facing different stages in their lives: One is starting a new beginning; another is trying to cope with a loss; the third is battling new feelings and healing old wounds.

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

**LPOV**

"Honestly, Lucy, you shouldn't have." My mother's face beamed as she held up a black laced negligee for everyone to see. The room erupted with giggles like it was full of silly school girls instead of grown women. I moaned and snuck away to the kitchen.

I moved around and began cleaning up — saving the food that was left over for Seth. In one week my life would change. My mother would be married to Charlie Swan, and I would have an unwanted step-father and step-sister. I viciously stabbed the kitchen counter with the butcher knife I was holding as another round of laughter came from the adjoining room.

"You need any help?" Bella's voice was like nails on a chalkboard. Just her presence made my body tense with anger.

"Does it look like I need any help?" I snapped back.

Bella ignored my mood, grabbed a garbage bag, and began filling it with paper plates.

"Sue seems really happy." I turned the water on high to try and drown out her voice. "Charlie has been a ball full of nerves. I'll just be happy when it's over with, won't you?"

"It'll never be over. It's just starting," I mumbled.

I could feel her eyes on the back of my head. I shut the water off and turned around. I still couldn't see why Jacob was so intense on winning her pathetic heart. She smelt, and already looked like one of those bloodsuckers. I hated her.

"The least you could do is pretend to be happy for them," she said. "They're happy. I don't want Charlie to feel uncomfortable because of you. The only reason he's moving here is because Sue doesn't want to leave the reservation."

Heat rushed through my body. The thought of another man sleeping in my dead father's room made me livid.

"I'm not going to pretend to be something I'm not. If he doesn't like my sunny-side disposition, then maybe he should continue to live with you, even though that would put a damper on your love life with the bloodsucker." I smirked as her pale cheeks blushed crimson. "Mom isn't stupid. She doesn't want to leave the reservation because she doesn't trust those leeches anymore than I do."

She ignored my comment. "I can understand why you hate me, and I even understand why you are having a difficult time with Charlie, but can't you see Sue is happy? Why can't you at least try and be happy for her? Would you rather her live alone for the rest of her life?"

"Do you girls need any help?" Lucy Ateara asked, sticking her round face in the kitchen.

I gave a angry scowl at Bella before I took off out the backdoor. I was tired of people always trying to get inside my head. I had been pretty successful at keeping the pack at bay from my real thoughts. Now, I had to deal with Bella trying to poke around in my head. My personal thoughts were mine — not anyone else's.

I loved my mother more than anything. Besides Seth, she was all I had left. I wanted to be happy for her, but I didn't want Charlie Swan around. It was already hard enough being a werewolf, much less the only female werewolf; with him around it was going to make it that much harder. If Mom decided to share our tribal secret, then that would mean he could learn the true identity of the Cullens. That would also mean he would know that his daughter was involved with a vampire. The more I thought about the idea, the more I was beginning to like it. Knock Princess Bella off her high-horse.

There was no use in looking for solitude on the beach. August was crazy with tourist trying to hurry and slip in a family vacation before their kids had to go back to school. Instead, I hit the woods. The smell of cedar was heavenly and the array of wildflowers made me smile.

Some of the pack was still eerie about wandering off in the forest by themselves. Though we had been able to stop Irina and Orenda two months ago, there was still a few members left in the Denali Coven who wouldn't mind seeing us werewolves extinct. I shivered remembering just how close Irina and Orenda had come to accomplishing that very goal.

I made my way towards the Quillayute River, and heard Seth's laughter ring out. I went through a clearing of moss to see him and Collin fishing. It looked like Collin was trying to show Seth how to catch a trout without using a fishing lure. He was in the water up to his knees cursing every time he came up empty handed.

"Run out of bait?" I asked. Collin glanced over as I approached, but then turned his attention right back to his task.

"No. Collin thinks he's a fish whisperer." Seth giggled at his own joke. He wasn't wearing a shirt and the scar on his left arm was visible. Guilt, along with anger, stabbed at my heart. It would always be a reminder of what he gave up for Edward Cullen; a reminder to me that Cullen should have to pay for what happened.

Paul and now Jared believed that Edward knew what was happening all along. I didn't want to agree at first simply because what they were suggesting didn't make sense. But it was so much easier to place the blame on him. One, he was vampire; two, he was a Cullen; three, because he was vampire he couldn't be trusted. Seth argued and claimed that if anyone had a right to be angry and ask for retribution it should be him. He was wrong. Emily and Sam also had a right, and Emily wanted hers.

"I don't have to be a fish whisperer to catch a damn fish," Collin said, hitting the water with his fist. "I'm a freaking werewolf! This should come natural."

"Try phasing," I said. "You might have better luck with that large mouth of yours."

"Why don't you go find someone else to make miserable." Collin stomped out of the river, grabbed his shoes and shirt, and left.

_Leah, you know how to clear a room, _I thought to myself.

"Bridal party over with?" Seth asked, slipping on his shirt.

"Pretty much." I balanced myself on a row of stones that just peeked above the water in the river. "I put the leftovers in the fridge for you. There was half a chocolate cake left too."

"Thanks. Charlie's party is tomorrow. Edward called to see if I wanted to ride with him and the other guys, but I had already made arrangements with Jacob and Mr. Black."

"Better watch your back," I warned him.

"Lee-Lee, don't start. You sitting with Emily while Sam goes?"

"He's not going."

Emily hadn't been the same since losing her child. She was loco — crazy. Her days and nights were filled with images of vampires and werewolves stealing her unborn baby. Sam took her to a local doctor who diagnosed her with depression and put her on pills, but they didn't seem to work. Mom, Rachel, and I took turns sitting with her. It wasn't something I wanted to do, but when she asked for me, Sam practically begged. He continued to think she would snap out of it, but I wasn't so sure.

"How much longer do you think Emily will grieve?" Seth asked. _Until she dies, _I thought but shrugged my shoulders in response.

Seth and I made our way back towards town. We passed some kids playing basketball in the park. They yelled for Seth to join them, but he just smiled and waved. I wasn't sure whether he declined because of his arm, or if he just didn't want to play.

"Your physical therapy coming along alright?" I asked. We sat down on a bench facing the courts.

"Yeah. Jacob thinks I should try and phase to see what happens. Edward thinks I should wait a few more months and have Carlisle standing by when I do — just in case."

"The Cullens don't know everything." I was beginning to lose my patience with his constant admiration for the bloodsuckers. "Jacob wouldn't tell you to try if he thought it would hurt you."

"Well, it's my body and I would feel more comfortable knowing a doctor was close by."

I didn't want to argue with him. Besides, he was right: his arm, his right. My head rested on the back of the bench with my face turned up towards the sun. It was a warm, clear day. The sun seemed to give me energy and help clear my mind.

"I'm glad Mom is marrying Chief Swan," Seth said.

"_Retired _Chief Swan."

"He seems to make her happy, don't you think?" I didn't say anything and Seth continued talking, ignoring my silence. "Dad wouldn't mind. Of course if he was around he would mind, but since he's not I don't think he would object. You think we will have to tell him our secret?"

"I hope so."

"Why?" There was suspicion in Seth's voice.

"To know our secret, he would then know the Cullen's secret," I explained.

"Not necessarily. There is more to our ancestry than vampires. Our story can be told without ever mentioning them."

"Whatever." _Leech lover_.

"I'm going home to eat. You coming?"

I squinted into the sun. "I'm going to wait and make sure everyone has left before I go back." Seth shook his head and took off.

I closed my eyes — enjoying the peace and quiet. I didn't want to think about the wedding, vampires, werewolves, broken dreams…

"Leah Clearwater?" I opened one eye to see whose head was blocking my UV rays. "It's been three years since I've seen you. Sorry to hear about your dad. Harry was a good man."

I raised my head and covered the sun from my eyes to get a better view. He was tall — I would venture to say six-two, and athletic looking. His bronze skin glistened in the sun as beads of water dropped to the ground. His muscular thighs looked as if they were going to break through the spandex of his shorty sleeveless wetsuit.

"You don't remember me, do you?" He laid his surfboard next to the bench and sat down. His profile was strong and rigid, and his eyes were shades of amber and green. Wisps of his wet, black hair hung down around his face while the rest stayed in a tight, braided ponytail. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat as he continued to smile at me. Heat rippled through my body, but I shook it off — blaming it on the sun. "Eli. Eli Marshall."

"I'm sorry. I don't…"

"I graduated three years ago. I've been away at UC in Berkley. One more year and I'll have my MA in math education. Already have my MBA Entrepreneurship."

"Sounds like you're a smart guy," I said, getting to my feet, "but I still don't remember you."

"You were Sam Uley's girlfriend." I quickly turned my head towards the basketball courts. "It sure seemed like you two were a sure item. I can't believe he ended up marrying your cousin — that's just wrong."

My demeanor hardened. "I didn't realize life at La Push was front page news in Berkley."

His eyebrows raised and his eyes grew larger as he began to protest. "No," he said, jumping to his feet. "No…I mean — Mom thought I wanted to know about Sam getting married since we were acquaintances. When I asked if you were going to finish school, she told me he was marrying your cousin. I'm not a gossiper. Normally I could care less about what happens — I just couldn't believe…" His voice trailed off. There was an awkward moment of silence. "You really don't remember me?"

I tried to keep an angry frown on my face, but failed. "Sorry."

He smiled and pushed his hair behind his ears. "Guess I make a lasting impression, huh?" We shared a laugh. "Now that you're out of school — do you have any plans?"

"I think I'm going to take a break. Get a job and save some money. Hopefully get my own place." I'd always hated school. It wasn't that I was stupid, I was just bored. When Dad died, I missed too much school and got held back. I was already a year behind because of a sickness I had when I was younger. I would have dropped out and got my GED had it not been for Mom. It had been embarrassing being the oldest in my graduating class.

We strolled down the road. He easily carried his surfboard under his arm.

"A lot of people who do that never go back to school. Don't you think you should wait until you've finished college before you move out on your own?"

"I don't have a choice. Mom's remarrying and I don't feel comfortable with another man being head of the household."

"Oh yeah. Mom mentioned going to Mrs. Clearwater's wedding shower today. She's marrying Chief Swan, right?"

"_Retired _Chief Swan," I said through gritted teeth.

"Yeah, I hated to hear about his accident last year."

"For someone who doesn't like to gossip, you sure know everything that's going on."

His laughter was deep and warm. "That was on the news. If it's in the news, it's not gossiping."

We walked and talked — taking some cuts through wooded areas. Eli was home for the summer and hoped to be able to stay home after Christmas. The courses he had left he would be able to complete while working at the school in La Push, which is where he wanted to remain.

His mom and dad divorced when he was six. His dad was a fisherman from Maine, who moved to La Push in hopes of starting his own boating business. "Would have worked if he hadn't drank it away," Eli said. Mr. Marshall was an alcoholic.

"Was he abusive?" I asked as we neared my house.

"No. He never laid a hand on me or Mom. He was just a drunk. Mom couldn't take it anymore, so she kicked him out."

"Does he still live around here?" I wasn't familiar with the last name Marshall.

"I don't know where he is," Eli stated matter-of-factly. "I haven't seen him since I was twelve. For all I know he could be dead."

"That doesn't seem to bother you."

He shrugged his broad shoulders. "It is what it is."

We stopped in front of my house. Bella's truck was no longer there, which was a good sign that maybe everyone else had left also.

"Hope you enjoy the rest of your summer, and good luck with your future," I said turning to leave.

"I'll see you at the wedding next week." I paused and turned back around. "I'm taking Mom, unless…" He raised his eyebrows and smiled.

I stared blankly at him for a few moments before I managed to say, "Maybe nothing will happen to her." There was jovial laughter behind me as I entered through the front door of my home.

The following week was hell. There were dozens of last minute meetings and decoration shopping. I had to go with Mom and Bella to the seamstress for our final fitting before the wedding. Bella was just about as enthused as I had been. We both plastered on fake smiles to appease Mom.

Mom didn't want Bella and me to have the same dress, but the color needed to be the same: coral. Bella chose a poly chiffon, short A-line dress with a scoop neck, an empire waist, and wide shoulder straps. Mine was a satin sheath dress with halter straps and an open back. Mom's dress was a beautiful ivory, lace overlay dress. It was knee length and tight fitting with removable lace sleeves. A silk, cream colored "moon" orchid would replace her veil.

Charlie started moving some of his things into the house. Edward, Emmett, and Jasper loaded down Bella's truck with Charlie's things, while Jacob, Embory, and Quil unloaded it. I hid in my room, unable to watch the change take place.

The day of the wedding, Mom and I rode to the church alone. The dresses hung in the back of the SUV. Mom and Charlie's suitcases was in the very back. They planned on leaving after the reception. They were going to drive to Vancouver and stay for two days, then leave on an Alaskan cruise. Neither had been to Alaska and wanted to explore someplace new together.

"Lucy Ateara will be checking on you and Seth while we're gone," Mom said.

"I think Seth and I can handle things on our own." We had fought vampires. I was pretty sure we could handle the small emergencies at home.

"It still gives me a peace of mind knowing someone is there to look in on you two."

"Is Charlie going to have someone look in on Bella?" I asked with a sarcastic tone.

"The Cullens." I scoffed at her reply. "Edward has agreed to take Seth to his physical therapy while I'm away. Don't be giving him any trouble," she warned.

"Heaven forbid anyone give the Cullens any lip." I rolled my eyes.

"Would it hurt for you to be a little friendly to them? Bella is going to be your step-sister. When she marries Edward, that will make him—"

"Nothing," I said, cutting her off. "He will still be nothing to me. He will always be a stinking vampire — nothing more. I'm not sitting at a dinner table with him or holding his ice cold hand."

"He saved your brother's life," she argued.

"The only reason Seth got hurt was because he was trying to save that leeches life. He should have let Brady kill him, then there would have been one less Cullen to worry about. Everyone would have been happy. I'm sure Jacob would be there for Bella to help her cope with her loss." It was nauseating to hear Jacob's depressing thoughts about Bella and Edward.

Mom was quiet for a moment. "I think your dislike for Bella and Edward has nothing to do with him being a vampire. I think you dislike them because of the love and devotion they have for each other." My muscles started to tense. "You see what you want. You see what was taken away from you."

"Mom," I said through clenched teeth. "Now is not a good time."

"Lee-Lee, you have to let go of the past and forgive. It was something that was beyond their control."

I quickly pulled into an empty parking space at the church, grabbed the clothes from the backseat, and stomped through the side door of the building. The last thing I needed was another lecture about moving on from Mom. Just because she could so easily forget about the past didn't mean everyone else could do the same. I had accepted Emily and Sam's relationship, but that didn't mean it still didn't hurt like hell.

I locked myself in the bathroom and splashed cool water on my face hoping it would calm me down. Now would not be a good time to phase. I added eyeliner, some powder, a little blush, and a tad of nude colored lip gloss to my face.

I heard Lucy Ateara and Mom giggling in the next room. "God, this day is going to last forever," I mumbled — and it did.

It was a good thing that Mrs. Ateara was around. Bella looked as lost as I did when it came to helping Mom get dressed. Lucy gladly took over doing Mom's make-up, dressing her, and fixing her hair. When it was all over with, mine and Bella's mouth fell to the floor. My mother looked stunning — almost unrecognizable. Her face glowed with happiness which was something I hadn't seen since the day my father died.

We lined up to march into the church. I peeked into the auditorium. It looked as if everyone from La Push was sitting on the brides side, and there were a bunch of people in uniform sitting on the grooms. It wasn't hard to miss the Cullens who had attended. I saw the doctor and his wife sitting next to Edward, followed by the small dark haired chick and her brooding husband. The big one and the blond weren't there.

Standing next to Charlie in the front was Seth, his best man, and Billy Black in his wheelchair. Charlie looked nervous. He kept tugging at his tie and wiping sweat off his brow.

I stepped back as the music started. Mrs. Ateara opened the door and motioned Bella forwarded. She took a deep breath then stepped through the door. I waited a while before I followed suit except I didn't bother to smile. After we made it down the aisle, the piano player started the wedding march. Everyone rose to their feet as Mom slowly made her way down to the front. Charlie's nervous jerks ceased as his brown eyes lit up at the sight of Mom.

"Who gives this woman to be married to this man?" the preacher asked.

I glared at him as he beamed with his holier-than-thou smile. Bella cleared her throat behind me. Finally, Seth spoke out. "Her daughter and I, sir."

Through the rest of the ceremony, I stared at the bouquet in my hand. I looked up once when Mom quietly said my name. Her hand was extended, waiting on Charlie's ring. I sighed and slapped it in her palm, then turned my attention back to the bouquet.

I thought I was going to be sick when it was time for the man to kiss his bride. I rolled my eyes while everyone cheered. Thankfully, one part was over. Unfortunately, there was still the reception to suffer through. I would make my presence known for a short period of time, then I would slip out. Who would ever notice whether I was there or not?

The lodge in Forks was crowded with guests by the time I arrived. Needless to say my mood had gotten worse since the ride over from the church. Nothing like having your younger brother chastise you about your attitude. I quickly separated myself from Seth, and escaped into the crowd of people gathered at the buffet tables.

My plate didn't seem big enough. I was looking for a good spot for my spoonful of mini meatballs, when a voice sounded too close to my ear almost causing me to drop my plate.

"I didn't think you were going to make it through the ceremony." Eli's breath was warm against my neck. I could smell the spearmint on his breath.

Instantly I became embarrassed at the amount of food on my plate. It's true that werewolves can eat a great quantity of food and never gain a pound. Although the guys could get away with eating a large portion in public, a female eating like a horse was bound to draw attention. Just another damn problem of being a she-wolf. I placed the spoon full of mini meatballs back in its dish, and stepped out of the line.

"Did your date dump you?" I asked ignoring his comment.

He chuckled. "No. Mom is sitting with the Walker sisters. My services won't be needed until it's time to leave. Where's your date?"

"Sitting with the groom." I scanned the crowd, looking for an empty table. I found one in a dismal corner near a potted plant and walked in that direction.

I didn't look at Eli until I sat down. It's not often that I become speechless. His silky, raven hair hung loose around his broad shoulders. He was wearing an olive green suit, which made the green in his eyes stand out. He opted not to wear a tie with his lighter green shirt, allowing a few black hairs on his chest to be visible. I began to perspire as heat rippled through my body. I took in a couple of deep breaths, attempting to gain some composure. I was annoyed at the intense, concerned look on his face, as well as my reaction to his manly presence.

"Are you alright?" He reached across the table, his fingertips brushing mine. I jerked my hand away — uncomfortably excited by his touch. In doing so, I managed to knock my drink in my lap.

"Shit," I yelled, jumping up from my chair. The red punch began to instantly stain the front of my coral satin dress. Eli grabbed some napkins and reached out to wipe my dress, but I slapped his hand away.

"Sorry," he mumbled. "I didn't realize you were so jittery."

"I'm not jittery." My voice shook from anger, but mostly from humiliation. My annoyance increased when I found my hands shaking. I felt eyes watching me from all different directions. "I don't take fondly to being groped."

"Groped?" His brows drew together as a sign of confusion. "I didn't grope you. Leah, I would never do —"

"I need to try and get this stain out," I said curtly, cutting him off.

I pushed my way through the crowd on the dance floor, hurrying to the restrooms. I couldn't be around him right then. My heart was thumping so loudly, I glanced down to make sure there wasn't a gaping hole in my chest.

I welcomed the cool breeze when I opened the restroom door, but paused before rushing in. Emily was staring into the mirror as if in a trance. Her hands clutched the counter so tight, her knuckles were white. Slowly, her eyes drifted my direction. They were full of fear, anger, and sadness.

"I hate them," she said, her voice low and unsteady. "I thought I could handle being in the same room with them, but I can't." A single tear fell on her unusually pale cheek.

I cautiously approached her — keeping her gaze in the mirror.

"I understand what you're feeling right now, but you have to remember — the Cullens had nothing to do with you losing your child." Though I hated them and would love nothing more than to blame them, deep down I agreed with Seth: the Cullens were innocent of the previous attacks on our pack. There was no way that leech would have let Princess Bella get close to any type of danger. He cringed out of fear and loathsome anytime we were around her.

"If they had never come here, none of this would've happened. If _she _would've never moved here, none of this would've happened." Emily also blamed Bella. She made it very clear to Jacob that she was no longer allowed in her new home. She didn't want to hear her name or see her face. "I lost my child because of them. Whether they had any active part in it or not, it doesn't change the fact that everything points back to them. I can't forgive them for what they've done."

"Emily, they didn't do it on purpose. Bella would never hurt anyone intentionally." _She's way to goody-goody, _I thought with a tinge of bitterness.

"They knew in the beginning it was wrong for them to be together. They knew people could get hurt, but they didn't care."

"It's not that they don't care, it's that they can't be apart. You should know how that feels."

She flinched at my comment, and her eyes lost some of their anger. "I can't believe you're taking up for them."

"Me either," I mumbled. "If you don't forgive them, it will only eat you up inside." It had already started doing that to her. Her usual warm eyes had turned hard and lifeless.

"You're preaching to me about forgiveness, yet you still hold a grudge against me."

"You're right. Everything that you have accused the Cullens and Bella for, it's the same reason I hated you. If you had never come to visit, Sam would have never met you. I would be married to him — not you. You both knew how much it was going to hurt me, but you got together anyway."

Her scared face crumbled. "I'm so sorry. We didn't intend to fall in love."

"Emily, my mind grasps that, but my heart doesn't." I walked up to her and placed my hands on her shoulders. "I don't hate you or Sam personally — not now anyway. I know you can't help who you imprint on. Quil is a prime example of that."

She laughed lightly. "I just don't know if I'm going to ever be myself again."

"You've experienced something horrendous, but can't you see it's not the end of the world? If it weren't for the Cullens, you would have lost much more than your child. They saved Sam. It's not like you can't have any more kids with him."

"It's not so cut and dry, Leah. It's not like I lost a kitten. I was so looking forward to our first child. I almost feel as if it's my fault it died. Like I wasn't strong enough to protect it."

"You can't blame yourself. It was beyond your control. And I don't mean to make light of your loss. All I'm saying is be thankful for what you have. You have someone who loves you, and you do have the capability to have another child. Some people aren't so lucky." I swallowed down the unexpected lump in my throat. "The best way to honor the dead is by living our lives to the fullest."

Her eyes met my timidly. "Leah, I am very sorry for all that you have been through. It couldn't have been easy. It must still hurt seeing me and Sam together."

I shrugged. There was a lot of things that hurt: being alone, being a werewolf, the death of my father, unable to have a family of my own… "It would have never worked out between Sam and I. At least you are both happy."

"Poor Sam. I've been so consumed with my grief and hatred for the Cullens and Bella…I haven't been such a good wife to him lately."

"Sam loves you. He just wants you back and well."

"I'm going to try." She gave me a shaky smile. "But I don't think I'll be holding hands with the Cullens anytime soon."

"Lucky for you."

She laughed and hugged me, then stepped back and looked at my dress with a frown. "What happened?"

"Eli Marshall." I sighed and observed the damage in the mirror.

"Eli." Emily's eyes brightened. "He stopped by the house a couple of days ago." I grabbed a paper napkin, dampened it, and dabbed at my dress. "He seemed very interested in you."

I suspended my useless attempt at saving my dress. "Me? What did he say?" I narrowed my eyes on Emily. She didn't seemed to be the least bit concerned by my expression.

"Oh, he just wanted to know what you were like. Whether you had an interest in any of the guys around La Push." She smiled wickedly.

"And what did Sam tell him?"

Emily eased her way to the door. "That he knew for a fact that you didn't have any interest in anyone. He also told him you liked to play rough." My eyes grew wide and my mouth dropped open. Obscenities fell from my lips, but there was no one in the room to listen.

I lingered in the bathroom a few more minutes before I poked my head out the door. The crowd had thinned a little. I had intended to leave without a second glace, but for some reason I couldn't help myself. I looked at the corner table and found it empty. My eyes scanned the room, but also came up empty. A subtle depression settled in the center the center of my chest.

_Damn, what's happening to me? _I wondered as I slipped out the door. I glanced at the laughter coming from Mom's SUV. Seth and his friends were decorating her car getting ready for the newlywed's departure. I removed my shoes and threw them in the bushes. My dress was already ruined; there was no need to keep it around. Silently, I made my way further into the woods before I phased and ran towards the house.

There was so much to think about, my mind was in overload. The bitterness I had felt towards Emily and Sam had dissipated through the years. Now it wasn't so much as them being together that drove me insane as it was the sympathy looks I received from people. I would be lying if I said it didn't hurt — there would always be a dull ache thinking about what was and what could've been — but there was no arguing with fate or imprinting. I'd already done that and gotten no where.

Another issue was my very new step-father. I didn't hate Charlie, I just hated my mother marrying him. But there was nothing I could do about that. She was happy with him and Dad wasn't coming back. I felt cheated and alone. Dad shouldn't have died so young. There was so much I needed to ask him concerning this new werewolf life.

That was yet another problem. Being the only female wolf was frustrating. I was supposed to be part of the pack, but they reminded me of a boys club who didn't want girls around. I didn't want to continue with this life. I wanted to be normal and feel…sexy. There is no way to feel sexy covered with fur and walking around on four legs. I didn't fit in with the guys and I didn't fit in with the girls. They talked about future families — something that as long as I continued to phase would never be a possibility for me. In fact, even I were to suddenly stop transforming there was still no guarantee that my reproductive system would begin working correctly. How could I explain my alternate life to a gynecologist without them labeling me as whacky?

Finally, there was Eli. I wasn't myself around him. I could almost be happy when I was near him, which was a luxury I couldn't afford. My life was…very different from his. As he got older, he would want so much more than I could give him.

My house came into view. The coast was clear for me to phase back into my human form and enter the house unnoticed. I showered and got into bed. A couple of hours later, Seth came home. He knocked on my door, but I wasn't in the mood for company. My brain continued to spin like a hamster wheel, going over the same problems and coming up with the same conclusions.

I rolled out of bed the next morning not sure what I needed to do first. I needed a fulltime job, and I needed to find some place to live. I really wanted to move out before Charlie and Mom returned from their honeymoon.

I mumbled a greeting to Seth who was sitting at the table eating a bowl of cereal. I grabbed two bananas and an apple, then joined him at the table.

"Mom was looking for you before she left," he said. He was reading his newest gaming magazine. "It would have been nice if you would have told her bye."

"I figured with everyone else around she wouldn't have missed me. My bad."

"Do you really have to be a bitch all the time?" I batted my eyes a few times. It wasn't Seth's nature to be so harsh. "Charlie is a great guy and Mom's lucky to have him. Would you rather see her end up all alone or with someone who mistreats her?" I rose from the table and had headed out the back door when his next sentence stopped me. "Lee-Lee, Dad's dead. He's not coming back. You need to accept that." I let the door shut behind me.

I decided to eat my apple on the beach. It was quiet except for a few set of couples enjoying the early morning hours. I sat close to the shoreline allowing the waves to cover my feet. I stared across the wide expanse before me, feeling very defeated and alone.

"I had an epiphany some time ago when I used to come down and stare at the ocean." Eli sat down next to me. His long, muscular legs stretched out further mine. My body relaxed and I smiled openly.

"This should be good," I joked.

"Nothing last forever. All your worries, all your troubles, all you pain — they won't last forever."

My smile faded. I quickly turned my face from his stare to hide my hurt. He laid his warm hand on mine. I was unable to speak. I felt vulnerable before his gaze — a position I rarely found myself in.

"I lied when I made you believe that my dad's leaving didn't bother me. Mom kicked him out of the house when I was six, but he would still come by and take me fishing and surfing. He was sober during his visits. He knew he had to be or else Mom wouldn't let him see me.

"The last day I saw him, he stumbled in my classroom with bloodshot eyes and in disarray. He also reeked of alcohol. He started yelling for me to go with him fishing. The kids started giggling. You know, twelve is an important age. It's when you start making a name for yourself. There were a few girls in my class I had my eye on. Dad was messing up everything. When the teacher tried to calm him down and asked him to leave, he became combative. The teacher had to restrain him while another student went and got help.

"I didn't go home when class was over. Instead, I came here to get away from people. I was angry at the world. I hated Mom for not making Dad quit drinking. I hated Dad for humiliating me in front of my friends. I hated both my parents for a broken home. I thought it was the end. I wrote out my feelings in the sand, and sat on the shore and cried at my miserable life. When I looked back at my writing, it wasn't there. Slowly the waves had come in and erased all my feelings."

"That's when you had your epiphany and all was forgotten," I murmured sardonically.

"No." He chuckled despite my attitude. "I added the ocean to my hate list for erasing my work. It wasn't until I was fifteen when I had my revelation. I was surfing in November, so there weren't many people out walking around. After a couple of hours, I dropped on the sand to just watch the waves and enjoy the light fall of rain. It was then I realized that just like the waves had erased my writing, years had eased my pain. I understood things better. I knew Mom couldn't make Dad stop drinking and she did the best she could. He had a disease that he wasn't strong enough to conquer. The pain of his leaving was still there, but it didn't control my life. My social life that I thought was irredeemable wasn't. Everything I thought would be my demise was gone and forgotten. I had made it through it. Leah, nothing last forever. I know —"

"Don't pretend that you know me or…can fix me," I lashed out jumping to my feet. "I'm sick and tired of everyone's pity and sympathy."

I was halted by an iron grip on my elbow. My anger got the best of me. I jerked my arm free and shoved him backwards. He grabbed onto my wrist as he stumbled back and fell to the ground taking me down with him.

I was momentarily stunned at being so close to him. I came to my senses and tried to get away, but he used his weight as an advantage and rolled us over to where he was on top. His hands restrained mine. I squirmed but his grip only tightened. I could have overpowered him, but shamefully it felt good to be controlled for once.

"What Sam and Emily did to you was shitty," he panted. "Still, you shouldn't deny yourself happiness again."

"And is that what you think you will bring me?"

The touch of his lips on mine sent a shock wave through my entire body. The strong hardness of his kiss broke through my resistance. I had a burning desire, an aching need, for another kiss as he slowly raised his mouth from mine to gaze into my eyes.

"That and so much more — if only you'll let me. But you have to let me, Leah. I'm willing to play the game as long as I know I can win in the end."

"You can't win." I was surprised at the sadness in my voice. "Chances are I'll never be able to be the perfect female. I'll never be able to produce the perfect family."

His smile caused my body to tremble. "I've never dated because I couldn't find another Leah Clearwater. I dreamed about you in high school. I dream about you now. You may never be the perfect female, but you're my definition of a perfect female. A family can consist of only two people. Mom and I have been a family for years. All I'm asking for is a chance."

We continued to stare at each other before I gave in and surrendered.

Eli and I spent the rest of the week together. He made me laugh which wasn't easy. He gave me my first surfboard and started to teach me how to surf. I smugly smiled at his astonishment at my agility. Before the week was over, he and I were competitively surfing against each other.

I was depressed the day he left to return to Berkley. We promised to email each other and he would see me when he came home for breaks. Maybe even I could break away and visit him in California.

I was sitting at the table, filling out a student loan packet, when Mom and Charlie walked through the door.

"Here, let me help you with your luggage." Before they could refuse, I had already grabbed their bags and took them to their room. They exchanged curious glances with each other.

"So, how was Alaska?" I asked walking back into the kitchen. I opened the fridge and grabbed two beers. They thanked me and hesitantly sat down at the table.

"It was beautiful," Mom said. "We went during the right time of year. We brought you, Seth, and Bella back a gift. How are things around here?"

"Great."

Mom and Charlie continued to stare at me, apparently wondering where the real Leah had vanished and who this imposter was sitting before them. Mom excused herself from the table and went to the bathroom to freshen up, leaving Charlie and me alone.

"What are you working on?" he asked taking a swig from his beer bottle.

"Student loan packet. I'm having to do late registration for college."

"College?" His eyebrows rose with interest.

"Peninsula College in Port Angeles. I'm going to go ahead and get my basics while I decide on my career path."

"Smart idea. Any idea which way you're headed?"

"Criminology…I think. I wouldn't mind being an officer or working for the FBI."

"Really?" Again I had surprised him. "I could help if you want. I mean, if that determines to be what you want to do, I could possibly pull some strings for you."

I gave him a genuine smile. "I appreciate the offer, Charlie, but if I'm going to do it, I don't want to get by on any favors. I don't want the chance of anything coming back and biting me in the butt if some years down the road I decide to run for chief or sheriff."

He returned my smile. "Harry would be thrilled." He dropped his gaze to the table. "Leah, I'm not going to try and take the place of Harry. I loved and respected him too much to ever try to fill his shoes. But I would like us to be friends. It's important to your mother and it's important to me."

"I've been a bitch to you and Mom. I'm sorry. I've known you since I was in diapers. I know how much you loved Dad. He would have skinned me if he had been around the past few months and saw how I acted towards you and Mom. I would like to start over, if that's okay?"

Charlie answered with a warm smile and a nod.

Mom walked back in the room and Charlie left to call Bella and let her know he was home. I told Mom about my plans for college. I had found a part-time job at one of the retail stores in Port Angeles. I decided to hold off on getting my own place for the time being. Mom was pleased to hear that.

"What brought about this big change in you?" she asked.

I didn't want to tell her about Eli. If things continued to go well with him, she would find out soon enough. I licked my lips thinking of his kisses and my body warmed at the memory of his hands. I couldn't meet her curious gaze, and I couldn't hide my smile.

"I had an epiphany," I whispered in response.


	10. Chapter 10 September

Chapter 10

**September**

**Chapter Notes: **_"Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it."_ — Ann Landers.

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

**BPOV**

I opened my eyes, which were still blurry from sleep. Morning sunlight poured into the room. An unusual event in Forks. I stared at the light for a few moments before rolling the opposite direction. I sat on the side of the bed, contemplating on whether I wanted to face the day or not.

September thirteenth — my birthday. A heaviness centered in my chest. It wasn't just because it was my birthday or the undeniable fact that I was now twenty — three years older than Edward. It was something else I couldn't quite explain. An emptiness. Something was missing.

I took a deep breath as I raised my body out of bed. I even felt older; much older than I should have. As I started down the stairs, the smell of pancakes greeted me. I followed the aroma to the kitchen and paused at the doorway. I still hadn't got used to Edward freely walking around in the house at all hours of the day. Since Charlie moved out to live with my new step-family, Edward had practically moved in.

"Good morning. How did you sleep?" he asked without turning around.

"You tell me," I mumbled. It was no secret he liked to watch me in my sleep. For some unknown reason he found me interesting to watch. I sat down at the table and began picking at the variety of fruit he had cut for me. "You didn't have to go through so much trouble."

"Since I was already up, I figured I would treat you to breakfast this morning." He placed two hot pancakes in front of me. "I hope you don't mind breakfast in, since I can't go out."

"I'm really not in the mood to see anyone today. No offense, but I'm really not all that hungry." I gave him an apologetic smile.

"Would you like to play hooky with me? We could have a romantic picnic at our favorite spot."

I mulled over his proposition. I wanted to be alone, but at the same time I wanted Edward close by. I definitely didn't want to attend classes today. Edward and I had enrolled at Peninsula College in Port Angeles at the end of August. Our schedule was identical. I was surprised to find that I liked college life. It was very different from high school; more liberated. Soaking in some vitamin D may be just what I needed to help fight my blues. It's not often we get a sunny day in Forks.

"I think that would be perfect. First, I have to run to town and pick up and order some things for the party."

Jessica and Mike were getting married Saturday. I was supposed to be in her wedding but I backed out. I lied, using Edward's non-existing grandmother's ninetieth birthday party as an excuse. Eventually, guilt weighed me down and I volunteered to throw her a bachelorette party, something I was now very much regretting.

Edward gave me a sympathetic smile. "I'll take care of the picnic arrangements. When you get home, we can leave."

He wasn't upset that I didn't touch my pancakes.

I changed into a pair of jeans and t-shirt, then headed into town. I ordered a bunch of party trays from the local sub shop. Unfortunately, the general stores didn't have the types of decorations I needed. I ended up driving to Port Angeles anyway. Thankfully, I didn't run into anyone from my classes while I scurried around town. Four hours later, I was back home.

Edward greeted me outside to help with all the bags. I checked the mailbox — nothing was there. Again, I had that strange feeling of emptiness.

"Mail's already run, but we didn't get anything. Were you expecting something?" Edward asked.

"Um…no. Not really."

I scooted past his curious eyes and went inside. A picnic basket was sitting on the table in the kitchen. I continued to the fridge to put away the few groceries I had picked up.

"Did anyone call while I was gone?"

"Does Alice count?" Edward said, entering the kitchen.

I shut the refrigerator door. "No."

He smiled. "Then no one called."

His driving no longer terrified me. I had gotten used to the Cullens way of doing things. The music played softly in the background as he took the curves at a defiant speed. We chatted about school, about the party for tomorrow night, about the wedding Saturday — we talked about everything that didn't involve the word birthday.

I had spent my nineteenth birthday in a hospital room with Charlie. My eighteenth birthday, the only birthday I had shared with Edward, had been a disaster. It had been his breaking point and had almost led to our demise. Remembering that birthday reopened old wounds I wished I could forget. It also reminded us of a very different timeline I was on.

He parked at a familiar spot at a wooded dead end. I got out of the car and without breaking our stride, I got on Edward's back. I held on tightly as he took to the woods disregarding the small wooden marker marking a thin trail.

He gently let me down once we reached our spot in the open meadow. I picked a few flowers while he spread the blanket and removed the containers of fruit, cheeses, and crackers. I sat and ate while he read from _Great Expectations _by Charles Dickens. When I finished, I placed the containers back in the basket and laid down next to him.

"I'm going to miss this," he mumbled with his cold lips against wrist.

"What?"

"Your pulse."

I jerked my hand away. "Please, Edward. Not today."

He took my hand again and kissed it. "I'm sorry."

"Do you remember any of your birthdays when you were human?"

He thought for a moment before a smile appeared. "My fourteenth birthday, Dad took me to the West Side Grounds to watch the Chicago Cubs play against the Brooklyn Robins. Cubs won 6-1. When we got home, Mom had a chocolate cake waiting with fourteen candles burning. I didn't want to upset her, so I ate a huge piece. Ended up with a stomach ache that night, and confessed to Mom about all the junk food I had while at the game. She wasn't angry — she never got angry."

"When I turned six was the day I started hating birthdays. Mom had a brilliant idea to throw me a birthday party and invited everyone from my class. I was totally embarrassed. When it was time to sing happy birthday, I had to stand in a chair in order to blow out the candles. I leaned forward, slipped in the chair, and fell face first in the cake. All the kids started laughing. I ran to my room and refused to come out. I didn't go to school for the rest of the week. After that, I refused to have any type of a birthday gathering."

Edward and I laughed together.

"I don't think you have to stand in a chair anymore," he said.

"Danger magnet, remember. If something can go wrong, it will." We both became silent and looked in the opposite direction of each other. "It's those memories I won't miss."

"You say that now until it happens. Sometimes it's the memories that help keep you sane. As sane as a vampire can be."

I turned to him. The sunlight in his eyes shown like gleaming gold while his face sparkled like diamonds. At that moment, he was even more stunningly beautiful than ever. His looks literally took my breath away.

"Lucky for me, you can remind me of everything I want to remember," I replied in a breathless whisper.

It was a difficult conversation for him, and he quickly changed the topic clearly not wanting to argue on my birthday.

The temperature began to drop when the sun started to fade behind the trees. We were in store for an early fall. Edward shook the blanket out and folded it neatly back into the basket. I didn't want to leave our peaceful haven, but we had to return to the land of reality.

The answering machine was flashing when we got home with a message from Charlie.

"Where have you been all day?" he asked when I returned his call.

"Edward took me out for lunch. We just got back."

"Have you had a good birthday?"

"It could rank as the best one yet." Edward smiled at me from the couch. _Until next year when I celebrate being twenty again, _I thought to myself returning Edward's smile, thankful he wasn't able to read my mind.

"I know how you hate gifts, so Sue and I only got you a card. We sent it with Jacob."

"Jacob hasn't been here." As if on cue, headlights reflected in the window. "Never mind. He just pulled up. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Happy birthday, Bells."

I mumbled a thanks as I hung up the phone. I didn't wait for the knock. I walked to the front door and opened it. Jacob had a smile on his face and a large bouquet of flowers. I managed a smile. "You really shouldn't have."

"Happy birth…. I brought these to liven up your house. You must get tired of seeing dead things all the time," he said, peering behind me inside. Edward didn't acknowledge his presence.

"Jake, not tonight," I begged.

"Sure, sure." He handed me the vase of blue, pink, and white asters, along with the card from Sue and Charlie.

"Want to come in?" I asked.

"Not really."

I rolled my eyes and walked into the kitchen to put the flowers on the table. They did spruce up the place. I placed the card down, then turned and walked outside to join Jacob on the hood of his car. There was a chill in the air and I scooted closer to him to stay warm.

"I came by earlier today, but I guess you were gone somewhere."

"Edward took me out to lunch." I never told Jacob about mine and Edward's meadow. That was our private place. Over a year ago, I had tried to get Jacob to help me find it. When Edward had left and I had been desperate for just some kind of attestation that he had been real. But even then, I hadn't told him it was a spot Edward had shared with me.

"Has he moved in?" Jacob's voice was bitter.

"No." I sighed wearily. There was no way to keep Jacob from getting hurt. No matter how many times I told him that Edward was who I wanted to be with, he always kept some ray of hope that I would change my mind.

"So, if I was to come by at three in the morning, he wouldn't be here?"

"Jacob." I stood up from the car and walked towards the road. "I'm not in the mood for our ritual argument tonight." I could feel his heat from behind me.

"What's wrong?"

I shrugged my shoulders. It was true that I hated birthdays, but this was a more gloomy feeling. "I'm not really sure. I feel…homesick."

"You mean Phoenix?"

"No. It feels like I'm missing something. As if I have a hundred comforters on me, but I can tell that one has been taken off. Maybe I'm just going crazy. I hear that comes with age."

"No, I think I know what you're talking about." I turned around to face him. Of course Jacob would know how I was feeling. "I used to feel the same way at certain times. When I used to be bullied at school."

"You? Being bullied?" It was hard to picture a guy Jacob's size being bullied and not the bully.

"I haven't always been this macho." He smiled.

I thought back to when I had first met him. Macho wouldn't have described him then. Attractive maybe, but not macho. _Would my first encounter with Jacob be a memory I would lose? _I wondered. It was a memory I didn't want to forget.

"When some older guys would pick on me, I would run home crying. Rebecca would set out cookies and milk, and listen to my sad story. When I finished, she would hug me and tell me everything would be okay. It was always her smell that triggered that empty feeling. She wore Mom's perfume. It was her way of always remembering."

A lump formed in my throat. "Renee. You know, I actually expected something from her today. Even though she knew how much I hated gifts, she would always give me a little something. It still doesn't seem real. It doesn't seem right having a birthday without the person who made it possible being here to celebrate it with you." I had thought of her more than once today, but never considered her absence the reason for my emptiness.

Jacob pulled me in an embrace. I breathed in his scent hoping to never forget.

"You know, it will only get worse if you choose to be like them." And just like that, Jacob had ruined the moment. I pulled back from him and eyed him suspiciously.

"What will get worse?"

"The emptiness." His smile was suddenly replaced with a stern-faced expression. A muscle flicked angrily at his jaw. "Think about it. Everyone you know will eventually die. Charlie, Sue, Angela…me. All you'll be left with are memories of a whole different life."

_Memories_. "Thank you so much, Jacob. I can really count on you to lift my spirits." My voice trembled with anger and fear. I went to step around him, but he blocked my path.

"Someone has to try and talk some sense into that stubborn head of yours."

I felt trapped. I did the only thing I knew to do — I lashed out. "You're a fine one to be calling someone else stubborn. This coming from a man who no matter how many times I tell him I'm not in love with him, he still refuses to quit. I've told you that no matter what, it will always be him — not you. I am going to marry him — not you." My words were cold and exact.

Jacob flinched as if I had knocked him in the head with a boulder. I had done worse. I'd reached into his chest and pulled out his heart with no remorse. He didn't say anything; neither did I. He got in his car, slammed the door, and peeled out of the driveway.

I stormed back into the house, not saying a word to Edward, and retreated to the bathroom slamming the door so hard the mirror over the sink shook. I sagged against the door taking deep breaths to calm my anger and to keep tears at bay.

Steam rose in the air as the tub filled with hot water. I wiped the mirror off and stared at my reflection. I looked for some resemblance of Renee. Charlie's dark eyes and pale skin glared back at me. I used to think that I resembled Mom. There was nothing I could see that reminded me of her now. I soaked in the tub feeling more depressed and lonely.

_Everyone you know will eventually die. Charlie, Sue, Angela…me. All you'll be left with are memories of a whole different life. _I sunk lower in the water trying to drown Jacob's voice.

My skin was pink by the time I got out of the tub. I slipped on clean pajamas and opened the door. Steam lingered behind me as I made my way back downstairs. Edward was in the kitchen, staring at the bouquet in the middle of the table. I crossed my arms and leaned against the door frame, watching him.

"I have to admit," he said softly, "I admire Jacob's sarcastic boldness."

"I guess you heard our conversation."

"Not intentionally." His natural vampire abilities frustrated me at times. "But I'm not referring to your quarrel, I'm talking about your bouquet. You know what kind of flowers these are?"

My eyes fell upon the beautiful arrangement on the table. "Aster flowers. They're the birth flower for September." I thought it strange for him to ask me such a question.

"Do you know the meaning behind them?"

My eyes narrowed at him suspiciously. "It's Greek for star because of their shape."

"True, that is how they got their name, but there is more to it. It is believed they hold some type of mystical powers — a love charm to draw forth affection. People used to lay the flowers on graves of fallen soldiers in hopes for a revised ending to the battle in which they lost their life. Also, in ancient times, they used to burn their leaves to drive evil serpents away. Guess who the evil serpent is?" He cut his amber eyes towards me and gave me his lopsided grin.

I felt the heat rise to my face. I didn't say a word as I stomped over to the table, grabbed the flowers out of the vase, and threw them in the trash.

"He's never going to accept your choice." Instead of walking towards me, he walked in the opposite direction across the room. "You should consider what he told you, Bella. Everything he mentioned will happen. Just because you gain immortality, doesn't mean that everything else around you does the same. Immortality goes on forever. Charlie will age and die. You will have to withdraw from your friends. You can't risk being close to anyone. Even Jacob will start to age eventually and pass away — not that you two will remain friends once you've transformed."

I shook my head. "You're just trying to get me to change my mind."

His gaze was sharp and fierce. "I'm trying to get you to understand how crucial your decision is. Once you've made that decision, there is no going back. Is being a vampire worth giving up everything? Giving up family, friends…yourself? Bella, you don't have to be _like _me to be _with _me. I never intended — I never wanted you to want to be like me."

"The Volturi —" Edward opened his mouth to object, but I raised my voice ceasing his interruption. "Don't tell me they aren't an issue because they are."

He closed his eyes, his mouth formed a thin line. I didn't have to have telepathy to know what he was thinking. He was blaming himself for the position I was in. Had he never gone to Volterra, the Volturi would have never gotten involved in our roller-coaster relationship. Now that they were, the ride would be much shorter.

"You shouldn't blame yourself," I whispered.

He laughed without humor. "Who else is there to blame? I can't blame you. I sure as hell can't blame Jacob." His brows drew together in an agonized expression. "I don't want you to feel like you have to give up your life because of something I did. I'm sure I could make some type of bargain with Aro —"

"What?" My voice was shrill and panicked. "No. You…you can't be serious, Edward. Please, tell me…tell me you haven't seriously considered such a stupid idea?"

His silence answered my question. The room began to spin around me. My knees gave way beneath me and I slumped to the ground. Edward was kneeling by my side in a flash. His cold hands smoothing my hair.

"Honestly, Bella. You need to quit being so over dramatic."

"You can't tell me you were going to sign a deal with the devil to save my soul and expect me to react nonchalant about it," I said with my head between my knees.

"I'm not going to do it." His voice was gentle.

I raised my head and looked into his eyes. "You thought about it, which tells me you've considered it, which means you would have done it without consulting me first. It's my soul, Edward. Mine. I get to choose whether I want to have one or not. What kind of deal do you think Aro would have offered?"

"He's made it clear that my abilities would be an asset to the Volturi. I'm sure I could have offered him something for your freedom."

"You would have left me again?" My voice was small like a child. I squeezed my eyes shut to block out the memory of those months I had been without him.

"No. I'm sorry. I will never leave you again. It was just a silly thought; one of desperation. I do feel responsible for you having to make this decision."

I took his face between my hands and searched his eyes. "I chose you in the beginning — before the Volturi, before Victoria, before James. None of them have anything to do with my decision to be with you…like you. Losing Charlie will be very hard, so will losing Jacob, but it will be nothing compared to what it would be like to lose you. I can live without them…I can't live without you. Just the thought of it kills me. I'm sad because Renee isn't here, but I can still breathe and the only reason I can is because of you."

"You're as much as a masochist as I am." He chuckled and pulled me into his arms.

We sat on the floor a few moments before making our way upstairs. I slept peacefully with my rock watching over me.

When I opened my eyes the next day, everything seemed to be back to normal: the sky was gray and the ground was wet. I slung on my clothes and hurried to the kitchen where Edward had breakfast waiting for me. I ate while he read the headlines in the newspaper. Once I was finished, he grabbed our books and left for school.

Edward eased my nerves and told me Alice was going to take care of getting everything ready for Jessica's bachelorette party. With Alice at the wheel there was nothing to worry about. I was able to relax and concentrate on classes for the rest of the day.

When we got back home, it was clear that Alice had been hard at work doing what she does best — going overboard. There were white and pink balloons on the mailbox, white and pink balloons tied to the railing on the steps, white and pink balloons tied to sticks staked in the ground, which made a path up to the steps. Even the front door was covered in balloons.

I glanced over my shoulder at Edward, who shrugged and simply said, "You know Alice." I did know Alice, and chills ran up and down my spine remembering I had put her in complete charge of my wedding.

I eased the door open, afraid of waited for me on the other side. I froze staring at the white and pink streamers hanging from the ceiling. The stairs were covered with white and pink balloons. Extra chairs were set up in the living room. It was obvious that Charlie's recliner was designated for Jessica due to the white and pink balloon that adorned each side. The coffee table was covered with a silk table cloth and four packages set in the center.

"You like?" Alice gleamed from the kitchen doorway. When I was able to turn my attention from the decorations to her, I had to stifle a laugh. She was actually wearing an apron over her black cocktail dress. She looked like the perfect housewife they used in family magazines for advertisements.

"It's…you've really outdone yourself, Alice," I said looking back at the decorations. "The gifts…"

"One is from me, one from Rosalie, one from Esme, and one from you."

"Thanks. I forgot." I couldn't help but blush at my thoughtlessness.

"I know. And don't worry, she loves it." She gave me a wink and headed back to working on the hors devours. "By the way, happy belated birthday. Your gift is on your bed."

I gave an exasperated sigh, brushed past Edward, and went to my room to change. I should've known that Alice wasn't going to let my birthday go by without getting me something. Sitting on my bed was a card with a simple black bow. Inside was a gift card to a luxurious spa in Seattle.

_Take someone and have a good time. Love, Alice._

I smiled thinking how much self-control it took for her to get a single gift. I decided not to complain and would use it to show my gratitude.

More people arrived than I had expected. Mrs. Newton and Mrs. Stanley were there along with some friends of Jessica's from the hospital. I was thankful that Angela was able to come home a day early to attend the party. I was surprised to see Lauren Mallory in attendance. I hadn't seen her since graduation, but that wasn't anything unusual. She and I had never been friends per say. However, she was Jessica's friend.

Everyone mingled except for me. I tried to stay busy in the kitchen out of everyone's view. Alice took charge of the entertainment. They played a few party games, ate, played a few more games, then opened the gifts. Jessica bounced up and down on the recliner, chattering happily away while Angela handed her one gift at a time. She received at least two toasters and other miscellaneous kitchen items. Angela would call the name of person who the gift was from and pass it to Jessica. She called out what the gift was so Angela could write it down for thank you cards to be sent out later. I listened from the kitchen while I slowly cleaned.

"Esme Cullen," Angela said.

"Dr. Carlisle Cullen's wife," Jessica explained as if someone didn't know who she was. There was the sound of ripping paper. "Embroidered towels." Ooh's and ah's followed.

"Rosalie Cullen."

"Embroidered bathrobes. Feel how plush they are."

"Alice Cullen."

"Oh, Alice, you shouldn't have. Ivory silk nightgown and matching robe."

"That will be perfect to wear on your wedding night," Lauren said. Jessica giggled in response.

"Last but not least, Bella Swan."

_Now would be the perfect time to take the trash to the dumpster, _I thought. I had no idea what Alice had bought for me. I hoped it was matching silk slippers to go with her present. When I heard Jessica gasp, I knew it wasn't slippers.

"Oh my," Mrs. Stanley said breathlessly.

"Now _that _is what you wear on your wedding night," Alice said.

"Bella! Bella?" Jessica summoned me.

I chewed my bottom lip and whispered for an invisibility spell but it didn't work. I eased around the corner and peered into the living room.

Jessica was fumbling with a white laced teddy that was adorned with a few tiny pink ribbons. Included in the gift bag was a set of white thigh high stockings and a garter belt. At the end of each garter was a tiny pink ribbon that matched the teddy. My face grew warm as all eyes turned to me.

"Uh…I didn't know you had it in you," Jessica said with a half smile on her face. "Thanks."

I mumbled a response and rushed back to the safety of the kitchen.

I finished cleaning at the same time everyone decided it was late and they should leave. Mrs. Newton hugged me at the door.

"Mike's upset that you aren't going to be able to make it to the wedding," she said.

"Sorry. I really wished I could go, but I've promised Edward to go with him to his grandmother's birthday party."

"He understands. I tell you what. I'll make a copy of the CD and send it to you."

"That'll be great." I forced my lips to smile.

I went outside and popped the balloons, throwing them in the trash before going back inside. The only ones left were Jessica, Angela, Alice, and Lauren. Alice and Angela were cleaning up the decorations while Lauren was helping Jessica gather her gifts into a large tote bag she had brought. When all was finished, we rested in the living room.

"Are you getting nervous?" Angela asked Jessica.

"Not really. It's not like Mike and I haven't known each other forever."

"Yeah, but…you know," Angela said. "I've known Ben since we were kids, but the thought of us being together-together is a little frightening."

"You mean you and Ben haven't…" Lauren wiggled her eyebrows up and down.

"Oh God, no," Angela blushed. "Not that Ben hasn't wanted to. I just don't want to take the chance on getting pregnant. I don't trust anything one hundred percent."

"I haven't got pregnant yet."

"You and Tyler have done it?" Angela asked disbelieving.

"Sure. When he transfers to Boise State next fall, we're going to move in together. After school and once we get settled down, maybe we'll get married and have a couple of kids."

"Mike and I are going to try for kids right now. He and I both want a large family. I got off the pill a few months ago."

"Oh. No wonder you're not so scared of your wedding night." Angela rolled her eyes. "You've taken the suspense out of it."

"Every one isn't as straight laced as you, Angela. I'm sure even Bella and Edward have been sexually active since high school." All eyes, except Alice's, turned to me after Jessica's statement. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. "Don't worry, Bella. None of us are going to run and tell your daddy or Dr. Cullen. This stays between friends."

"Edward and I haven't…we're both still…we decided to wait until we're married to have sex."

Angela smiled and Jessica was speechless.

"Oh, please," Lauren spat. "I was told you and he have practically moved in together. You expect me to believe that you and Edward Cullen haven't had sex? You may be able to fool everyone else in town, but not me. I never believed your squeaky-clean persona in the beginning."

"Trust me. Waiting until we're married was not my idea." Open mouth, insert foot.

"Seriously?" Jessica said ignoring Lauren's cruel outburst. "You don't think he's doing it with someone else, do you? You don't think he's still seeing that gorgeous blond I saw him with back in January when you two were on the splits?"

"That was Dr. Peterson's daughter, Amber."

Jessica shook her head. "I'm not talking about the girl he took to the Valentine's dance. This was a woman. A beautiful blond woman."

"You must be referring to Tanya," Alice spoke up for the first time. She had been so quiet, we had forgot she was there. "She used to be a friend of the family. I can assure you that Edward only has eyes for Bella." Lauren made a sarcastic noise, which caused her to receive a cold stare from Alice.

"What about you and Jasper?" Angela was the only one bold enough to ask Alice such a question. "Are you and he sexually active, or are you both waiting until marriage?"

Without hesitation, Alice answered. "Sex is not the most important thing in a relationship."

"You're avoiding the question," Lauren snapped.

Alice smiled. "I am, aren't I."

Lauren jumped off the couch. "It's getting late. Jess, I'll help carry your gifts to the car."

I followed Jessica, Lauren, and Angela to the door with Alice trailing behind.

"You know, we should get together every six months or at least every year," Jessica said pausing at the door. "I really enjoyed our girl talk. I can just see us five, seven years from now, our babies playing together. Let's promise we'll all stay in touch with each other."

Lauren glanced around unsure. Angela enthusiastically agreed with Jessica. Again, I wore a fake smile and agreed though I knew I was lying. I breathed a sigh of relief after everyone left.

"Are you staying tonight?" I asked, turning to Alice. Just before the party had started, Edward informed me that he was going camping with Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie. I just assumed Alice would take over his watch.

"If you want me to." There was something strange in the way she was looking at me — her head cocked to the side and eyebrows scrunched together. Her wineberry colored lips puckered for only a moment before she opened them to say something, then closed them just as quickly.

"I can tell you're trying to hide something from me, Alice. Just spit it out."

"Edward will kill me if I breathe any word that makes you upset."

I instantly thought about our earlier conversation. _Don't panic, _I told myself. _He's just gone camping with his family. He hasn't left you again. He promised he wouldn't. _"Dammit, Alice. I'm tired of being kept in the dark. I'm already upset, so you may as well go ahead and tell me what Edward don't want you to tell. I'll take care of him later." _If there even is a later. _I kicked myself for thinking such a negative thought.

She only hesitated for a moment. "Well, I'm not sure exactly what it means, but I have a theory." She grabbed my hand and pulled me to the couch. My stomach was a ball of nerves. "I've been sort of…cheating on your wedding arrangements."

"That's it?" I shook my head confusedly. "Are you talking about some type of illegal arrangements? Is it something I'm going to regret?"

Alice's golden eyes stared blankly into mine. "I've been using my talent to purchase items for your wedding. I already know what it is — or was — going to look like."

My heart froze. "What do you mean by 'was going to look like'?"

"That's the thing, Bella. My visions have stopped."

"You mean, you're not having visions anymore?"

"No. My visions are fine, all except for your wedding. It's as if it's not going to happen."

"Maybe there is going to be a change of plans. Maybe we decide to elope." That was what I had wanted to do in the first place.

"No. It's not just the wedding — it's you, too. I'm not having any visions of you." That was disturbing. It had been Alice who had had the visions of me becoming one of them when I first met Edward.

"You mentioned a theory. I hope it doesn't involve me being put in the ground." I shuddered at the thought.

"No, no. Nothing like that, silly. You know we'd never allow dirt to be piled on top of you," Alice said, trying to calm my fears. "I think it's that pack of dogs — one in particular comes to mind."

I gave a nervous laugh. "Jacob?"

"Yes, Jacob. I can't see with those mutts around. What if he changes your mind? I know he isn't happy about the wedding. I know he's still in love with you and will do anything he can to keep you from being with Edward."

"No." I quickly stood up and began to pace the living room floor — the wood groaning under my weight. "Jacob wouldn't do anything to hurt me."

"I didn't say he'd hurt you, Bella." Alice kept her perfect posture on the couch. "You have to face the fact sooner or later that he is our enemy, whether by choice or not. The only reason we have been able to be on their land at all is because of you. Once you take our name and our nature, all special treatment will be null and void. They will despise you just like they do us. In fact, once you've been changed, we will have to move and chances are not return. Edward changing you goes against the treaty."

"But it's what I want. I asked for him to do it."

"Doesn't matter. The treaty states that we can't bite another human, regardless if the person request's it. Jacob is going to fight for you and he'll fight dirty if it keeps you human."

I thought of the birthday flowers, the road trip, the kiss on the mountain last summer. He and Edward had fought dirty for my affection, but Jacob sunk even lower by making me believe that he was going to fight Victoria's newborns without caring whether he lived through the battle. He wanted me to convince him that he had something to live for by asking him to kiss me. It had been enough to place a small seed of doubt in my mind about marrying Edward. But my love was strong enough to hold on and I came to my senses.

"You know the rumors going through the pack, right?" Alice's voice drew me back to the present. "Some believe that Edward knew about the attack on their tribe back in April. They are trying to make it sound like Edward had some type of involvement in Irina's attack."

"Jacob told me," I mumbled and turned my eyes away from her observant golden ones.

"I'm sure he did. He's trying to place doubt in your head, Bella. You know —"

"Of course I know Edward had nothing to do with it," I snapped. "Jacob's just worried about me. He doesn't want to see me get hurt."

"He's mischievous. He's in love with you and I'm not too sure you're not in love with him."

I paled at her statement. "I love Edward. I'll never leave him for anyone, including Jacob."

"If you truly mean that," she eloquently rose off the couch and stood in front of me with her hands on my shoulders, "then maybe it's time to start letting go — starting with Jacob. The longer you hold on to him, the more he is going to see it as a sign that you are still savable."

"Alice, I think I'd rather be by myself tonight."

She gave me a hug and slipped out the front door.

I didn't sleep. My heart and my head were at battle with each other. At the first sight of dawn, I left my house and went to La Push while I still had an ounce of courage left in me.

I knocked on Jacob's front door. Billy answered with a smile. Apparently Jacob hadn't told him about our last conversation. He told me Jacob had already left to finish a job at Mr. Keel's. I found out where he lived and headed there.

I pulled up to the brick house and knocked on the door. The door opened and I recognized the face from the July Fourth party. Though he didn't smile, his eyes were kind.

"I hate to bother you, but I'm looking for Jacob Black. I was told he's doing a job for you."

The old man grunted. "He works for me. He does a lot of jobs."

I wrung my hands nervously in front of me. "Can I talk to him? It's kind of important. I'm Bell—"

"I know who you are," he said. "Anyone who has been around that young man for a second should know who you are. Follow me," he said turning around and slowly walking away.

I hurried inside and shut the door. The house smelt of tobacco and coffee. There were little porcelain trinkets all over the house. He lead me to a backdoor and pointed a crooked finger to a large shed.

"He's working in there. Don't keep him too long," he called after me. "I want him to finish that car today."

The door slammed behind me. I took a deep breath and continued towards the shed. Billy Idol's _Rebel Yell _greeted me as I rounded the corner. I reached over and turned off the old AM/FM radio.

"Sorry, Mr. Keel." Jacob's voice was muffled. His oil stained jeans jutted out from underneath a rusty car. "I will definitely have this Firebird running before the sun goes down. Give me tomorrow for the paint job, and it'll be ready to ship out of here by Monday."

"I'm sure he'll be happy to hear that," I said.

Jacob came rolling out from under the car. There was a small smear of black grease on his forehead. He stood up, causing me to tilt my head up to look at him. He casually walked over to a work bench and grabbed an already grease covered rag.

"Did you come here to apologize?"

"We need to talk." I boldly met his gaze. "Jacob, I don't want to see you anymore." People have said that the quicker you pull the bandage off a wound, the less it hurts. They lied.

"You don't want to see me, or you _can't_ see me? I know the bloodsucker was listening Thursday night. I know he knows what I said was true. Now he's scared of losing you. I've pulled the blinders off your eyes."

"Jake, there were never any blinders on my eyes. You just refuse to take out those earplugs and hear me. He doesn't even know I'm here right now. I'm here on my own. This is my decision."

He desperately looked for a crack in my stern face. "You don't mean it. You can't just walk away from me — from us."

"That's just it, Jake. There was never an us. I used you. I used you to fix the motorcycles, I used you to fill a void, I used you to make my life easier — but I don't need you anymore. I shouldn't have dragged this out as long as I did, but we did need your help against Victoria. Thank you."

He slowly shook his head. His muscles quivered ever so slightly. His Adams apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed the bile of hatred, regret, and foolishness. "You're lying. You know our kiss meant something to you. You can't deny that. You kissed me back with the same passion that I had."

"I needed you to think you had something to fight for. If the pack had felt your sense of loss, it could have been to the newborns advantage. It was never out of love, Jacob — or at least out of love for you."

He closed his eyes and turned his back to me. "Why are you telling me this now? Why not right after the battle? Why didn't you just allow the bloodsucker and shaman kill us?"

"I felt sorry for you. Besides, the Cullens felt they owed your tribe for helping them. But I can't keep pulling you around on a chain. There is no reason you shouldn't go on with your life like I'm going on with mine. I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me again." I was barely able to say those words without my voice cracking. They were the same words Edward had said to me when he left. I now understood his point of view.

"Sure, sure." Jacob's voice was void of emotion.

I walked up behind him, making sure not to have any physical contact. One touch and I would lose my grip. I reached into my pants pocket, and placed the small, hand carved, wooden wolf on the work bench next to him.

Without another word, I turned and hurried away. I didn't look back. I kept my shoulders straight and my eyes looking ahead. I was able to walk through the fence, to my truck, and pull out of the driveway before the pain ripped through my body. Through blurry vision, I made it across the La Push line. I pulled over to lean my head against the steering wheel and cried, wrapping my arms around me to hold myself together. I sobbed until my eyes were swollen and my voice was raw. Slowly, I made my way back to my house in Forks.

I pulled into the yard and parked next to the silver Volvo. Edward was already opening my door before my hand was on the knob. I slid out of the truck and collapsed in his arms.

"Bella, what's wrong?" He tried to pull back to look at me, but I pulled him closer.

"Just hold me." I closed my eyes and breathed in his sweet scent. "Tighter," I croaked.

"Bella, love. If I hold you any tighter I'll break your ribs."

"I don't care." I needed him to close the new hole in my chest. The more I smelt and felt his closeness, the more bearable the pain became.

Edward only loosened his hold on me when I pulled away. He sensed my weakness and carried me like a child into the house and laid me down on the couch. He went to the bathroom and wet a bath cloth for my face. He sat down next to me and patiently waited. He would have waited forever if he had to.

"Jacob and I are over." My voice was still shaky. "I had to let him go. It wasn't being fair to him. I had to say some horrible…" Fresh tears rolled down my cheeks.

Edward pulled me to his side and let me cry on his shoulder. I cried for the friend I had lost and for the lies I had spoken. I knew I wanted to be with Edward for the rest of my life. I knew there would be sacrifices to get what I wanted. I had made a vow to myself that I would go to Hell and back to be with him. I just didn't realize everyone else would have to go to Hell with me.


	11. Chapter 11 October

Chapter 11

**October**

**Chapter Notes: **_"There are two sides to every issue: one side is right and the other is wrong, but the middle is always evil. "_ Ayn Rand

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

**APOV**

"Dammit," I yelled as I flung the magazine across the room. "I've gone through over a dozen magazines for over a month — and nothing." I leaned back and rested my head against Jasper's knee. Instantly, I settled down.

"You're trying too hard," he said.

"Yeah, and I shouldn't have to. I never have to. Edward's going to kill me."

"No he won't," Jasper reassured me.

"Oh, please. He's already not speaking to her because she crossed the line with his precious Bella." Rosalie was propped up against Emmett, painting her toenails a deep purple.

"He's gonna kill me," I repeated.

Edward was more than angry when he found out I had talked Bella into cutting her ties with Jacob Black last month. He didn't think I should've said anything to Bella about my vision of their wedding, or lack thereof. It was Bella's life and if for any reason she chose not to marry him, we had no reason to dissuade her. I had thought Jacob Black was the reason I no longer envisioned their wedding; apparently I was wrong.

"I think you're taking this way too seriously." Emmett sat with his eyes glued to the television screen where he was enthralled with the newest _Hallo _game. "There is probably a logical explanation as to why you aren't having anymore visions of the wedding."

"I'll take anything."

Emmett shrugged one large shoulder. "Maybe you've ordered all you can order."

Even Rosalie gasped at his statement.

"That's impossible! It's only October. I haven't even started on the reception party. I have to interview caterers, order decorations, hire a band, go over and order floral arrangements. Plus, I'm not through with the wedding attire. Then there is all the pre-wedding stuff I have to do like pick out their china pattern and caterer for the wedding rehearsal."

"China? Seriously?" Emmett turned to face me, though his fingers steadily kept working the game controller. "What are they going to do, Alice? Place their elk or mountain lion on the plate before they dine?"

"Bella is still human. Ordering china is what humans do. You're a guy, what do you know anyway?"

He turned his attention back to the game. "Okay, maybe I was wrong, but it doesn't mean there aren't other reasons out there."

"Yeah. She could come to her senses and realize what a huge mistake she's making," Rosalie said. She was the only one in the family who wasn't okay with Bella joining ours.

I shook my head. "Impossible. She loves Edward too much. She would never give up on him."

"She may not give up on him, but what if they both gave up on you?"

I whipped my head around to look into the eyes of my husband. "What are you suggesting, Jasper?"

"We all know Bella has never wanted a huge wedding to begin with. What if she and Edward decide to elope? Skip all the hoop-la, and run to Vegas."

"They wouldn't." My temper flared.

"Bella is sneaky enough — she'll do it." Emmett grinned.

"And whatever Bella wants, Edward is more than willing to comply." A sly grin spread across Rosalie's face.

I jumped up and grabbed the phone, but Carlisle's voice stopped me.

"I'm glad most of you are here," he said. "Esme and I have volunteered your services for the haunted Halloween tour."

"Carlisle, no offense, but aren't we supposed to be laying low? Being inconspicuous?" Rosalie said.

"If it weren't for such a good cause, we wouldn't be involved this year. All proceeds are going towards families who have lost their jobs to help them during the holidays. I've already contributed on behalf of our family and even more anonymously, but Esme really wants this to be a success. She's the person in charge and it wouldn't look right for her family to be absent."

He pulled out a piece of paper from inside his jacket and began to read off our responsibility. Rosalie and Edward would be reenacting a scene of the Salem witch hunts. Emmett and Jasper would be wielding swords in a battle from _The Legend of Sleepy Hallo. _I got an easy job, a tour guide. Esme even included Bella in the fun by assigning her to the fog machine for the zombie cemetery act.

"She figured Bella wouldn't mind since it is a job that requires less attention," Carlisle explained.

"Jasper and I were just on our way out the door to visit them. I'm sure she won't mind, but I'll run it by her." I grabbed Jasper's hand and pulled him behind me.

On the way to Bella's, Jasper warned me to stay calm. "The last thing I want is to fight with Edward. You're already in hot water with him, let's try not to turn up the heat."

"I'm simply going to place the doubt of eloping in her subconscious."

Jasper's eyebrow arched ever so slightly. "How?"

"With guilt." I smiled.

We pulled up to Bella's house. One lonely jack-o'-lantern sat beside the front door. Politely, I rang the doorbell and patiently waited.

Edward answered the door. His eyes quickly flickered from mine to Jasper's. "What do you want?" he asked none too kindly.

"Do we have to want something just to visit with our favorite brother and future sister in-law?" I smiled and kept my thoughts to myself.

Jasper spoke up from behind me. "Carlisle has requested our assistance for some type of Halloween event that Esme is overseeing. Alice and I have come to deliver your assignment."

Edward's face remained guarded. He hesitated only a moment before moving to the side to let us in.

"What _kind _of Halloween event?"

"From what he described, it's like a haunted house," Jasper said as he and I took a seat on the couch. Water was running upstairs which meant Bella was in the shower. "He informed us that we were volunteered to participate this year since Esme is in charge. The proceeds are going to families in need for the upcoming holidays."

"I take it there is no way of changing his mind?" Edward asked with a frown.

Jasper shook his head and smiled. "No. When Carlisle has made his mind up about something, the chances of changing him are very slim."

"Please tell me we aren't going to be parading around as vampires?"

The water stopped running, and I broke into the conversation before Jasper could reply. "Jasper should eat something before Bella comes down." Jasper stiffened next to me. "Why don't you go with him and you two can discuss your part?"

"I'm not sure leaving you alone with Bella is such a great idea," Edward said. "The last time you were alone with her, you caused her to go into a deep depression."

"I didn't make her do anything she didn't want to do," I replied stiffly. "Besides, there was no reason to continue to put off the inevitable."

Edward opened his mouth to spew out some non-flattering words, but the sound of the door closing upstairs caused him to refrain. Bella awkwardly paused at the bottom of the stairs looking at the three of us in the living room.

Edward walked over and kissed her cheek. "Jasper and I are going for a walk. Will you be alright alone with Alice?"

I gasped. He acted as if I truly was a possible threat to her. Bella nodded and watched Edward and Jasper leave out the backdoor. She took one look at me and turned to go into the kitchen. I waited a few minutes before I got up to follow. She was seated at the table eating a banana and reading a book. I sat down in the chair across from her.

"Are you angry at me?" I asked in a small voice.

Bella placed the book down and neatly folded the banana peel. "Why should I be mad at you, Alice? I'm the one who begged you to tell me what was going on. You only told me the truth and gave advice. I'm the one who ripped out Jacob's heart."

"I'm sorry you had to." I gave her an honest, sympathetic smile. "I just want you to know how much planning your wedding means to me. How much your wedding means to the whole family. I've never seen Esme and Carlisle happier. And Edward. I know he won't tell you, but having everyone present as you both say your vows means a lot to him. I think he may be a little insecure about your love for him."

"He knows how much I love him. He knows what I'd be willing to do for that love."

"I don't think he will be completely assured until you walk down that isle and confess your love in front of family and friends." I was lying to put every doubt she may have had in backing out of having a large wedding. My best weapon was Edward. I knew she would never discuss it with him.

She and I sat at the table staring at each other. The ringing of my phone caused me to break my hold first. I fished it out of my handbag and hesitated a moment before answering.

"Yes?"

"Mrs. Whitlock? This is Dwight Lambert from the Harrison County Library. You were here about two years ago looking up information about the Brandon family."

I rose from the table and turned my back to Bella, whose forehead had creased with curiosity.

"Yes, Mr. Lambert, I remember you. You were very helpful."

The elderly man chuckled. "That's my job, ma'am."

I waited for the librarian to speak, but he seemed to have a lapse in his memory. "I'm sorry, Mr. Lambert, but was there a reason you called?"

"Oh, yes." He cleared his throat. "I thought you would be interested to know that Elizabeth Johnson has passed away. That was —"

"Yes, I remember who she was."

It is a small world indeed. I had learned two years ago about my human family from an unlikely source. I had never thought much about them until our paths crossed with James. He had given me a starting point, which happened to be a psychiatric ward in Mississippi. It was during the time we had left Bella in Forks, that I found I had a lot of extra time to spare. I looked into finding out about my ancestry tree. That lead me to Biloxi where I had lived in the early 1900's. I also found out, with assistance from Dwight Lambert the librarian, that I had a sister who had passed away named Cynthia. She was proceeded in death by her daughter, Elizabeth Johnson, who at that time still lived in Biloxi with her family.

"Her daughter, Abigail White, is planning on having an estate auction. I remembered how much you were interested in the Brandon family history, and thought I would give you a call. Maybe for the right price, she would let you sift through all the old family heirlooms and let you have first bid."

"That was mighty kind of you, Mr. Lambert. I appreciate the call." I hung up and stared at the wall digesting the news I had just received.

"Alice, are you alright?" Bella's voice seemed very far away at the moment. I turned around and gave a half smile.

"My niece passed away. That was a gentleman I met when I was doing research a couple of years ago. He thought I would want to know that her daughter — my great-niece — is planning on auctioning some of the family heirlooms."

"Of course you would want to know. That's still your family. When do you think you'll leave?"

I laughed. "Bella, I'm not going. Why would I want some old antiques from a life I don't even remember?"

"Alice, something might trigger a memory. Do you really want to see them in the hands of strangers?"

"I don't care whose hands they end up in," I said turning away from her astonished glare. I strode back to the living room and retook my seat on the couch. "Why would I want to keep something around that would remind me of a family who threw me away? I haven't been human for quite some time, Bella. I don't even consider my human family — family at all. I only have one family now."

"You can't tell me that hearing the news of your niece passing doesn't bother you." Bella plopped down on the couch next to me. "Your sister didn't throw you away. You can't tell me that you're not the least bit interested in what could be left. If you weren't interested, you wouldn't have bothered to find out about your past to begin with."

The backdoor opened as Edward and Jasper joined us. Bella saw this as an opportunity to gain allies and quickly briefed them on my phone call. She was clearly upset when Edward sided with me.

"But you have items belonging to your mother and father," Bella argued. "Why shouldn't Alice have something of her family?"

"Because Alice doesn't want something of her family," Edward said patiently. "Besides, mine didn't lock me up in some insane asylum and fake my death."

Bella turned her dark eyes to Jasper. "Jasper, you agree with me, don't you?"

"Sorry, Bella. If Alice doesn't want anything that belonged to her human family, we can't force her." I smiled smugly at Bella. "However, I think Bella does have a point." I turned to glare at Jasper.

"Wouldn't hurt," Edward said looking at Jasper. "It's always good to be precautious."

"Would one of you guys care to tell us what you are both thinking?" I asked becoming irritable by the lack of verbal communication.

"There might be something of your families you wouldn't want to see fall into the wrong hands," Jasper said. "Old family pictures — I'm sure there are some of you stored in boxes or old albums somewhere. If they happen to get in the wrong hands…"

"I see." I couldn't imagine my family keeping any pictures of me around, but Jasper had a valid point. "I guess you and I could go, break-in, and steal all the pictures with me in them." I loved the thought of being risky with Jasper.

"Why don't you and I go. That way no one will have to break the law," Bella said, startling us all.

"No way." Edward's mouth thinned with displeasure. "I absolutely don't trust you and Alice together."

"Oh, I see. You'll let her take a bike trip with a mutt, but you don't trust me?" I responded hotly.

"Edward, I'm the only person who can go with her. My appearance is normal and they won't be as probing with me around. It will only be a few days — there and back." The muscles worked tensely in Edward's jaw. "You promised you wouldn't be controlling," Bella whispered.

Edward's eyes bore into mine like a roaring flame. "Fine," he said between clenched teeth.

"Yay. Road trip," I said without any enthusiasm.

Within a few days everything was planned. Edward and Jasper had come up with the idea, all Bella and I had to do was follow through with it. I still had my admission sheets to the properly named Mississippi State Insane Hospital. Bella and I were college students at Mississippi State doing research on the institute. I called and spoke with Abigail White, my great-niece, and informed her she may have some items that would be of interest to us and we would be willing to pay. She seemed startled and confused at our sudden call, but kindly agreed to meet with us.

We booked a flight to leave Seattle a little after noon with a layover in Houston. We arrived in Biloxi around nine that evening. Bella rented a car, and I drove us to our hotel. Bella refused to let me go to the casino, and instead kept me in the room so she could go over our plan.

"I want to make sure I get this right," she said chewing on a granola bar she had stashed in her bag. "During our research of the institute —"

"Insane asylum," I mumbled as I mechanically flipped through the television channels.

"— we came across Mary Alice Brandon, and would like to know if she has any pictures we could look through to be able to put a face with the name to add to our report." Bella glanced in my direction. "This doesn't sound a little weird to you?"

"Considering the truth, it doesn't sound weird at all."

"Well, they certainly would never guess the real reason why we're here." Bella yawned and crawled underneath the sheets. In less than two minutes she had fallen asleep.

I stared out from the seventh story window at the steady flow of traffic below. The sky was clear, free of stars. Carlisle said my memory about my family was erased probably because of the shock treatment I may have endured during my lock-up. Or maybe I didn't want to remember. The date on my admission sheets and the date on my tombstone were one and the same. My family had thrown me away because I was unique. I had a gift that during those times was unexplainable. I was freak. I began to wonder if Bella could be right. Could I have some sort of flashback at seeing a certain heirloom? Chances are, it wouldn't be a happy one.

I watched the sun rise. Bella stirred as sunlight streamed in through the curtains. She mumbled a good morning as she crawled out of bed and headed to the shower. I slipped into a long sleeve maroon turtleneck and black slacks. Lastly, I put on my black leather gloves which were lined with cashmere.

I tapped on the door to the bathroom and told Bella I would meet her downstairs in the dining hall.

The dining hall was the hotels main eating area. A large buffet was spread from wall to wall with anything a human could want to eat. I got a cup of coffee for show and found a secluded area in the back. Moments later, I was joined by Bella. She placed a plate of hash browns and an omelet on the table.

We decided to let Bella do most of the talking, hoping that would draw most of the attention away from me. Our story was shaky. If Abigail didn't buy that we were doing a research paper on the institute, then we would go with my original plan and break-in. If there were any recognizable pictures of me, we needed to get them.

We left once Bella finished eating. The water sparkled as we crossed the Biloxi Bay and made our way towards Ruskin Avenue. Five minutes later, we pulled up to a sage colored, two-story, antebellum style home, which was embellished with gables, a turret, and a curved warp-around porch.

I got out of the car and opened my black parasol. Bella shot me a curious glance as we turned the corner and walked up the walkway to the front door.

"I think my skin in the sun would cause a setback," I said explaining the reason for the parasol.

"And an umbrella in sunny weather won't?"

I opened my mouth to respond when the front door flew open. Bella and I stared at a young girl in front of us. She had curly auburn hair which hung down in her crystal blue eyes. She didn't say a word as she continued to stare at me.

"Olivia! What have I told you about opening the door…" The woman's voice faded as she walked up behind the girl and saw us. She was an adult image of the girl. "Can I help you?"

"Isabelle Mason." Bella stuck her hand out. The lady eased the girl to the side and took Bella's hand. "This is Rosalie Whitlock. We called about speaking with Abigail White?"

"Yes, yes. I'm sorry. I'm Abigail. This has been a very busy week. Please, come in." She lead us inside. "The house is a mess. Ya'll may prefer to sit on the back porch where it isn't so cluttered."

"If you don't mind, it's easier for me not be in the sunlight," I said. Abigail cocked her head and stared at me curiously. I held up my parasol. "Photosensitive."

A quick blush touched her cheeks. "Oh, I'm sorry. The living room should be safe. There are no windows in there."

The house had hard wood floors. She lead us down the hallway, past the staircase, and around the corner through an open archway. Bella and I took a seat on the sofa. Abigail had been right about the house being a mess. There were stacks of books and boxes all over the floor.

"I'll be right back with some iced tea," Abigail said as she turned and briskly walked out of the room. I listened to her footsteps as they hurried down the hallway.

The girl who had opened the door for us peered around the corner. Her eyes were fixated on me.

"Olivia…is that your name?" I asked. She didn't reply. "How old are you, Olivia? Cat got your tongue?"

"Alice," Bella hissed.

"I'm just trying to make conversation."

"She might not be able to talk."

She took a few steps into the living room — her eyes steadily on mine, then she whispered, "I knew you were coming."

"What?" I stared at her, baffled. Her eyes were large and as blue as the clear sky outside.

Her voice had been so quiet, Bella didn't hear her.

"I didn't say anything," Bella said.

"No, she did," I said while keeping my gaze steadily on Olivia.

"I didn't —" Bella hushed as Abigail walked back into the room with a tray containing three glasses and a pitcher of iced tea.

"Olivia, what are you doing in here? Go up to your room and let the grow-ups talk." She ruffled her daughter's auburn hair and motioned her out of the room. Olivia hurried away without a backwards glance. Abigail poured Bella and I a glass of tea then sat down on the couch across from us. "Now tell me again what your research about the institute in Jackson has to do with me?"

"It has to do with your ancestry," Bella said. Abigail continued to give us a blank stare. "During our research of the Mississippi State Insane Hospital, we came across admission papers belonging to your great-aunt, Mary Alice Brandon."

"You must be mistaken. My great-aunt was never in any nut house."

I slipped the admission papers from my handbag and passed them into the shaking hand of Abigail's. Bella and I sat in silence while Abigail looked over the papers.

"No one ever talked about Mary Alice."

"But you did know she existed, right?" I asked, no longer able to keep silent.

"Yes. She's buried in our family plot at the cemetery."

"Did you ever ask about her? About how she died?"

Abigail's curls bobbed when she nodded her head. "When I was about six, I asked Grandma Cynthia about her. She only told me that it had been a tragic death. I just always assumed she had been murdered and that's why no one ever wanted to talk about it. I tried to do some research when I was in high school, but I never could find anything about her. Now I know why."

"Could be your grandmother didn't know," Bella said sympathetically.

"I'm not so sure about that. Grandma Cynthia was a proud, southern woman. If she knew of something that she thought could be uncomplimentary about our family, she would have shoved it under the rug. My mother wasn't much better. Of course she did marry a Yankee, much to Grandma's dislike." Abigail smiled at an untold memory then shook it away. "So, do we know why she was put in the crazy farm?"

"From what we could find, we believe she was admitted because her psychic gift. Mary Alice claimed she could predict the future and therefore her parents thought she was certifiably crazy and put her away."

"What about her death? Do you think there was some mix-up at the hospital and Mary Alice could still be alive? Or do you think she may have committed suicide when that admitted her?"

"I believe," I said, "her parents considered her dead when they admitted her. That's why the year on the tombstone and the year on the admission papers are one and the same. She die in the asylum but she didn't commit suicide."

"That is tragic." Abigail's eyes looked sad. "It's clear you both already know much more than me. I don't see how I can be of any help."

"We were hoping that maybe we could look through some old photo albums and see if there is a picture of Mary Alice to go with our report," Bella said.

Abigail shifted her eyes from Bella's to mine. "Your timing is fortunate. My mother died recently and I have a million things to go through, thus the reason for the wreck." She gestured to the mess around her. "I swear Grandma and Mom didn't believe in throwing anything out. I just can't keep it all. My husband is in the Air Force and he's being re-stationed in California. I'm planning on having an estate sell and what doesn't sell I'm going to give to the historical society. I'll keep a few keepsakes but I can't take it all with me. Tim would have a cow." She gulped down the rest of her tea, placed the empty glass back on the tray, and stood. "The boxes of pictures are upstairs. I don't think you're going to find any pictures of Mary Alice though."

"Why is that?" Bella asked as we followed Abigail out of the living room.

"I've never seen any."

We followed her up the narrow staircase to the second floor. At the end of the hallway was a ladder dangling from the ceiling that lead to the attic. As Abigail described the clutter we were to find, I could feel eyes on my back. I quickly looked over my shoulder. Olivia's blue eyes were peeping through a cracked door. When I turned, she quietly closed the door.

I looked up at Abigail as Bella made her way up to the attic. "I think I should use your bathroom before we get started."

Abigail glanced down. "Sure. Third door down."

"Thank you." I ignored Bella's stare and turned to walk down the hallway. I waited until I heard their footsteps step away from the attic opening, and went to Olivia's room. Without knocking, I opened the door and walked inside. Olivia was seated on her bed with a doll in her hand.

"I knew you were coming," she said again though her voice was stronger than it had been downstairs.

"You knew I was coming, how?"

"I saw you." She slipped off the bed and walked over to her nightstand. She opened the bottom drawer, pulled out a paper, and handed it to me.

The picture wasn't very good, but good enough to where I could tell it was me. In the drawing, I was wearing what I had on — even the black gloves.

"You drew this?" I asked Olivia. She nodded her head. "Do you get visions often?"

"Sometimes. Gran told me I shouldn't tell anyone. She said it was wrong to imitate witches. She said seeing the future was evil. It's not that I want to have them, they just come and I can't stop them." Olivia's bottom lip trembled as her eyes began to water. "I don't want to be a witch."

"You're not a witch." I kneeled down in front of her. "You have a special gift of second sight. You have visions of the future. It's not evil at all. I believe you may have inherited it from your late Great-Great-Aunt Mary Alice. She had that same gift."

"And you're not a witch or evil," Olivia said in a small voice. Her eyes were trusting. She had seen me coming and knew who I was.

"No. I'm not a witch." The evil part was debatable. I wanted to be honest with her so I didn't answer that question.

"I have something for you." She walked back to her nightstand and pulled out two yellowed pictures. She handed them to me. "I had the vision then a couple of days later I found the pictures. That's how I knew who you were."

I looked over the two pictures. They were family photos. There was no mistaking me in them. I wore a dress with a large collar and the hem was just above the ankle. My hair was hidden underneath my cloche hat. I stood behind my mother who wore a suit (jacket and skirt) and a large rimmed hat with a feather. She had a dour expression on her face as did my father who stood next to me wearing a service uniform. My little sister, Cynthia, sat next to our mother. It was dated 1919, the year before I was sent away. I expected to feel some sense of nostalgia, but their faces stirred nothing within me.

"Do you mind if I take these?" She shook her auburn head. "Were these the only ones you could find?"

"Yes. I couldn't look too good. Mom caught me snooping and told me not to go back in the attic. She said there were spiders."

"I'll go up and double check." I slipped the two pictures into my back pocket. I glanced again at the drawing before I offered it back to Olivia. I smiled seeing the haze of yellow she had colored around my head. "Did you think I was an angel?" Her brows bunched in confusion. I handed her back the drawing and tapped at my head. "The glow of a hallo."

"That's not a hallo," she said handing the piece of paper back. "Your head just looked foggy."

I giggled and slipped the paper in with the pictures.

I left her room just as Abigail was making her way back down the stairs. I was standing at the bottom of the ladder when Abigail stepped off the last rung.

"Oh, there you are. I thought you got lost." She wiped her hands on her jeans. "I'm afraid your friend isn't having any luck finding anything worth taking."

"I'll go help. If I don't, I'll never hear the end of how she had to the work all by herself." I smiled and went up into the attic.

Bella was sitting on the floor with a box full of pictures in front of her. I sat down and pulled it over to me then started to dig through it with my vampire speed.

"Where have you been?"

"Later."

Bella let me have that box and she searched for more. She found a couple of photo albums which only held pictures of landscapes, animals, and old buildings. There were some framed pictures but not of anyone I remembered.

"It's like you didn't even exist," Bella mumbled as she thumbed through an old diary. "Mary Alice isn't mentioned at all."

"I'm surprised Abigail had even heard of me." I had gone through the box of pictures and just as Olivia had said, there were no pictures of me to be found. "I think we're good here."

"This doesn't upset you?"

I couldn't help but smile at Bella's worried tone. "Why should it?"

"They're your family. Your flesh and blood." She had to pause and lower her agitated voice. "Charlie knows I hate pictures of me everywhere, but he still keeps them. He even keeps one in his wallet and one on the dresser. They have none of you. How can anyone be so heartless?"

"I was evil in their eyes," I said using the word Elizabeth had said to Olivia. "It was easier for them to live their life as if I had never existed. Whatever made it easier for them to breathe and move forward is what they did. I don't hold anything against them. I love my life and I love my new family. I can't even think of not being with Jazz. They weren't heartless, they were just coping the best way they knew how."

"Yeah, but even with no pictures or not saying your name couldn't have made the loss that easier. I know."

I turned my eyes away from her. I knew she was thinking back when we left her. Edward had taken everything that would have reminded her of him away, but her memories were everlasting.

"We should go," I said.

We left the attic and found Abigail on the first floor. She apologized for not being any help. I didn't see Olivia before we left.

On the way back to the hotel I told Bella about my encounter with my great-great niece. I told her that Olivia had inherited my gift. I also handed her the two pictures she was able to find. "See," Bella said with a smile, "they did keep pictures of you around after all." I kept Olivia's drawing to myself.

Once back at the hotel, Bella agreed to let me try my luck in the casino. We agreed that I wouldn't draw too much attention to us. The next morning when we left Biloxi, we were a thousand dollars richer.

Jasper and Edward were waiting for us when the plane landed. I rolled my eyes watching Edward's expression change from strained to relaxed when he checked Bella over to make sure she was unharmed. I wondered if he would continue to do the same once she was vampire. He replied to my thoughts with a deadly stare.

Halloween was the following week and we kept ourselves busy helping Esme prepare for her fundraiser. Over a hundred tickets had already been sold and everyone in the community seemed to be excited. What drew the crowd wasn't the thought of helping others or even Halloween, but the fact that Esme Cullen was the one overseeing the event. Though we had been living in Forks for five years, everyone was still curious about our family.

The event was to be held at the Forks High. We chose the larger rooms for our parodies. The cafeteria would be the gathering place where people could leave donations. Esme also planned to have several events for the kids who were too young for the tour. Sue had agreed to make a huge pot of chili which would be free for those who attended.

The day of the event, we all arrived early to get set-up. I was a zombie flight attendant. I wore a 1970's flight attendant outfit, which was ripped and torn in places because I had died in a plane crash. Several of the staff from the hospital had volunteered to help. Jessica Newton was going to be assisting me with the tours, while Mike volunteered to play the mad scientist in _Frankenstein_.

Jasper and Emmett practiced their sword fight in full costume. Jasper played the part of Ichabod Crane. He wore a black waistcoat, black breeches with white stockings, a white shirt, and low-heeled leather shoes with gold buckles. He fastened his hair with a black silk ribbon. Unlike Emmett, Jasper looked very comfortable in his outfit.

Emmett was the Headless Horseman. The collar of his cape was secured to the top of his head. The fabric of the cape was thick enough to where no human could see his head. Of course, Emmett could see just fine. Esme had found a great head prop to use for when the Horseman gets Icahbod's head. We corrected the hair so that from a distance it looked like Jasper's severed head.

Rosalie didn't want to pretend to be burned at the stake; therefore, a small replica of a gallows was made for her. She wore her Puritan dress to mid-calf, which allowed her bent knees to go unnoticeable. When Edward opened the trapdoor, Rosalie would drop only to land on the hidden stool.

Bella appeared to be at ease. She worked behind the scene of the living cemetery. We staged the back part of the school like a cemetery and made it to where a few volunteers would come out of the ground like zombies. Bella's job was to produce enough fog to make the event spine-chilling.

An hour after sun-set, the festivities began. Families with younger kids arrived first. While their kids were being entertained, the adults took the haunted tour. As the night grew longer, teenagers arrived eager for a thrill, which we did not disappoint. Some screamed so loud that they lost their voice.

Embory, Quil, and Jared showed up to take their dates through the tour. I let Jessica have their group. They didn't stay very long afterward.

It was close to eleven and the crowd was dwindling down. One of the volunteers at the donation table had to leave early and I took their spot leaving Jessica as the only tour guide. She plopped down in a chair across from me after she had just finished with another group of rowdy teenagers. There was another small group gathering at the door.

"You want me to take that group?" I asked.

Jessica glanced over at them and let out a sigh. "No, I'll do it. But first I want to make sure Bella is back from the break. She's missed the last two groups and didn't bother to tell anyone she was leaving."

Normally Jessica's whinny complainant wouldn't have bothered me, but two things caused my alarm. First was that Bella wouldn't have left without telling someone, and second was my lack of visions. When I thought of Bella, nothing happened. I jumped up from my seat and hurried over to Carlisle.

"I think there may be a problem," I whispered in his ear. "Bella's missing."

"Missing as in…"

"Missing as in not here. Not anywhere."

"Go." That was his order and I knew what he meant: Find her by any means necessary.

I rushed to where Jasper and Emmett were waiting on the next group. They were trying different stunts with their swords. Once I came into view, Jasper immediately knew something was amiss.

"She might have snuck off with the werewolves," Emmett said after I had told them what was wrong.

"Bella wouldn't have done that," I argued, but not forcibly. Their group could have made their way back around and found her, then gave some sob story about how Jacob was lonely and miserable without her. All she would have needed was a small push. She had felt terrible about the way she ended things last month.

"We need to find out," Jasper said. "And we need to tell Edward."

Edward. Once he heard Bella was missing, he would go berserk. I hated to see him like that. He was a loose cannon. If she had went back to Jacob, what would that mean for their future? How would he react to such news? I felt like I was walking to my execution as we neared his room. Jasper started a comforting atmosphere before we entered.

"…all night. I'm getting sick of this noose around my neck." Rosalie was bitching when we walked in. "I hope you're here to tell us it's over."

"She wouldn't have left without telling me," Edward said with desperation in his voice. "They must have forced her to leave with them."

"We're not even sure if the werewolves have her," Jasper said soothingly.

"Then why can't Alice tell us where she is?"

That explained it. I hadn't thought of it until Edward said it. I couldn't see Bella because she _was _with them. We just didn't know if it was by force of willingly.

"She wouldn't have left without telling me where she was going," Edward repeated in a sterner tone.

"She's drawn to those mutts." Rosalie jerked the noose off her neck. She was certain that her witch day was over. "Now we know why you still weren't having visions of the wedding." Rosalie smiled at me.

"You still weren't having visions of our wedding after last month?" Edward asked. "Did you tell Bella?"

"No."

"And you didn't bother to tell me either?"

"You weren't speaking to me, remember?" I voiced back sarcastically.

Edward glared at me for a few moments. "I need to make sure they didn't force her there. If she went willingly, I'll back off. I always said I would." He started to walk out the door, but Emmett put his hand on his chest to stop him.

"It's not a good idea for you to go trampling on their territory. They've got it out for you already. They may have coaxed Bella into going just to get a rise out you — to make you make a mistake. Have Seth check on her."

Edward called Seth, but he was no help. The group knew he was close to Edward and didn't keep him in the loop of things. Also, since Seth's injury, he hadn't phased and had no idea what was going on with the tribe. He told Edward they were probably on the beach at La Push having a campfire.

"I'm going." Like I said, Edward was a loose cannon. He had no self-control when it came to Bella.

"Then we all go," Jasper said.

"Carlisle should come with us." Edward wanted to disagree with me, but I stood my ground. "He is our leader. They may give us a warmer reception with him and not try to kill us on the spot."

We informed Carlisle of the situation and he agreed with me that he should accompany us. "All of us showing up will seem like we want a confrontation. Emmett and Rosalie can help Esme here, while the rest of us go to La Push."

"I don't need Jasper's help in controlling my temper," Edward said through clenched teeth.

"Of course you don't," Carlisle replied with a smile.

We weren't to accuse them of kidnapping Bella. We were to remain silent next to Carlisle and let him do the talking. That was the plan anyway, and it worked in the beginning…well, sort of.

There was a party on the beach. There were more people there than just the pack, but we didn't get close enough to introduce ourselves. Sam, Jared, and Paul came to greet us well away from the roaring fire, which was fine by me. A fire isn't a vampires friend.

"Sam." Carlisle greeted him with a smile. "I wouldn't be on your territory if this wasn't an emergency, but —"

"Where is she?" Edward said ignoring Carlisle. "I just want to make sure she's safe and that this is what she wants."

"Oh, this is what she wants alright," Paul said with a sinister smile.

More of the tribe began to walk our way.

"You shouldn't be here," Sam said addressing Carlisle. "We didn't invite you on our land."

"We want to make sure Bella is safe," Carlisle said.

"Is that some sort of joke?" Jacob spat. He had walked up and stood next to Sam. "As long as she's with your kind she'll never be safe. But that's what she wants. She made that _perfectly _clear to me." He was angry, hurt, and clueless.

"She's not here?" I asked. My mind seemed to be congested with doubts and fears.

"I'm sorry," Carlisle said. "We assumed she may have left Forks with one of your people. She didn't tell us and we were concerned. You understand why."

Paul laughed. "Don't you see what they are trying to do? They've done something to Bella and are wanting to blame us. Just like the kind of scheming Edward did back in April."

There it was. Paul had been trying to convince everyone that Edward was involved in some way with Orenda and Irina when they attacked the pack. They had suffered from that fight: Sam lost his unborn child, Seth lost his arm, and Brady lost his life.

Edward growled at Paul. "This is not the time for your absurd accusations. If you want to challenge me to a fight, then so be it, but it will be _after _I find Bella."

"Paul, you're going to have to save some for me." Jared slapped Paul on the back. He licked his lips as he eyed Edward. "Kim was almost killed because of those leeches."

"Don't think the fight will be that easy." Jasper smiled. "I can assure you that I will have my brother's back."

Sam and Carlisle tried to calm everyone down and take control of the situation that had somehow gotten way out of hand. Everyone ignored their leaders and was yelling insults at each other.

I glanced up to watch a patch of dark clouds pass over the full moon. Then the vision hit me like a tidal wave. I fell to my knees as I helplessly watched the images play before me. When it was over, I began to understand some occurrences that took place over the past couple of months. I knew Jacob was not the threat to Bella and Edward's wedding. I now knew why my visions of their wedding were unsuccessful. What Olivia had seen was a fog. A spell purposely targeted at me to keep me sightless. A spell to conceal Bella.

Everyone was silent. Their eyes were glued to me. I helplessly looked up and only one word slipped through my lips. "Volturi."


	12. Chapter 12 November

Chapter 12

**November**

**Chapter Notes: **"Despite your best efforts, people are going to be hurt when it's time for them to be hurt." — Haruki Murakami

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

**EPOV**

The sound around us got deathly quiet. Somewhere in the deep ocean, a whale's mating call sounded. Alice's vision swung its wrecking ball into my reservoir of emotions and shattered it completely.

"Where?" I demanded. Jasper stepped in between Alice and myself. I could feel his power attempting to calm my swell of anger, fear, and desperation.

"A cabin," Alice said, unable to bring her voice above a whisper.

"There are a lot of cabins," I seethed.

"Snow. A cabin in the woods, and there is snow around." Alice looked up at me helplessly. _I thought it was the werewolves. This whole time, I thought they were the reason I couldn't see your wedding._

"That's good," Jasper said. He could tell how upset Alice was and tried to sooth her with words since most of his energy was being spent on trying to keep me calm. "We know she's not here. They've taken her north."

"Or to another continent," I growled while shooting daggers at Alice. "How the hell did this happen? You were supposed to be monitoring their movements!"

"Edward." Carlisle placed his hand on my shoulder. "Right now the most important thing is to find Bella. Later, when she is safe and sound, we will worry about how they were able to get around Alice. We need to have you focused and rational."

Carlisle was right. Every moment we spent sitting around discussing the how's and why's was very precious time we could have spent looking for Bella. I always went into a panic mode when it concerned her. When James's coven had shown up I'd panicked and my first instinct was to run. Then when Jasper tried to attack Bella at her birthday party, I ran to keep her safe and had only made things much worse. I had wanted to run when she first walked into my life. _If I would have stayed away, she would be safe now_, I told myself. I wanted to run now but I had no idea which direction to go. Already I was lost without her. She was as much my stabilizer as I was hers.

"Do we know how many?" Jasper asked.

Alice shook her head. "I'm still under some kind of enchantment. Everything is blurry. I can only make out one — Christian."

"Christian." Jasper glanced at me. "He may have come here seeking retribution from the incident in Cancun."

"What happened in Cancun?" Jacob spoke up from behind us. All four of us turned and stared at the mutt pack who were listening to everything we were saying. "Never mind. It doesn't concern me." There was a bitter edge of cynicism in his voice.

Carlisle took control of the conversation. "We're very much in the dark here. We don't know where Bella is, what kind of incantation has been placed on Alice, and we don't know exactly how many of the Volturi have come."

"I think right now the most important quest is to find her," I said, springing into action. "Jacob and I should head back to Forks and see if we can track her. We will keep you informed of our progress. In the meantime, work with Alice and a game plan of rescue."

"Why should Jacob go?" Jared asked.

"Don't you see, Jared? There is a plan brewing in that devious head of his," Paul sneered. "He's gonna do something, maybe offer an exchange. A werewolf for a human."

Even though I wanted to rip his tongue from his throat, I remained cool. "Out of all of you mongrels, Jacob knows Bella's scent best." I ignored the snickers. "We will be able to track her faster if only the two of us go — there will be less scents to eliminate. And don't worry about me trying to exchange him for Bella. To a vampire, that's a no-brainer. It's like asking would you rather drink opulent wine or sewage water."

"Give me one good reason why I should care?" Jacob asked and stepped forward as if to challenge me. "Why should I even consider helping you bloodsuckers?"

"Think of it as a payback for Carlisle saving your flea bitten ass. Do us this one favor, and both sides will be even."

Jacob glanced back at Sam who in turn shrugged his shoulders and said, "Your call." Jacob turned back to me and snarled. "After this, we're done." I nodded my head courteously.

Carlisle put his hand on my shoulder. "Promise me you will call us as soon as you find something?"

"Of course." His thoughts didn't tell me whether he believed me or not.

Jacob followed behind me towards the car. I threw the keys over my shoulder. He caught them and paused. I made my way to the passenger door and turned towards him.

"I understand you like to drive fast?" I asked him. He wasn't fearful — just untrusting.

"Sure, sure. But I thought —" I got into the car and shut the door in the middle of his sentence. In less than a minute, he slid into the driver's seat.

We were far enough from La Push when he decided to speak. "I know there is a reason you're letting me drive your car, and it has nothing to do with my driving skills."

I had opened the glove compartment and pulled out a rumpled napkin, and was digging around for a writing instrument when I answered. "I can't drive and draw at the same time. Well, I probably could, but since you can drive fast —" He slammed on breaks and skidded to a stop.

"Are we or are we not going to try and track Bella?" The muscles in his forearms tightened from the pressure he was putting on the steering wheel. His dark eyes sparkled with anger.

"Not in the way I lead you to believe," I mumbled. I had finally found the pen and was working on flattening out the napkin across my knee.

"You already know where she is, don't you? Why am I even going with you? You don't like me and I sure as hell don't like you! Are you hoping they will kill me once and for all? I'm sure Bella's told you that she let me in on the joke. I'm sure you know that I know what a fool I've been for letting her play me — just like a damned violin."

I shook my head and laughed. "I can't believe you bought her story. She is such a terrible actress."

"Don't try and make it sound like she didn't mean it just because you need me now." He wanted to believe she had been lying; I could read his thoughts though he tried to hide them.

"I know you remember when I left her to protect her. It was one — if not the worst mistake I've ever made."

"Are you trying to tell me she actually thought it was a good idea to tear me down just to protect me? To make me think the worst of her to keep me safe?" I stared back at him silently. His lips formed into a smug smile. "I don't need protection from you."

"Not me from me, but from her." His smile faded into confusion. "Believe me, Jacob, I understand your feelings towards her. The need to be with her so great that you feel as if you will cease to exist without being able to see her, hear her, touch her." We both silently sat thinking about her. "She does care about you," I said in a low, composed voice. "More than I like."

"You have no reason to be jealous of me." He spoke with light bitterness. "You're the one she has chosen time and time again." _How unfortunate for her,_ I thought.

Jacob took a deep breath and put the car back in drive. "Don't tell me you just wanted some alone time with me to let me know Bella doesn't hate me after all. I mean, I'll help you fight, but don't you think one of your brothers or Carlisle would be of more assistance?"

The napkin was as smooth as it was going to get. Gently, I touched the felt tip pen to its bumpy surface and began to draw the image I had seen in Alice's mind.

"Sometimes, they have a tendency to think rationally. You and I don't. By the way, I guess I should tell you we're going to Denali."

"Alaska?" Jacob shot me a wild eyed glance before focusing again on the road. "Wait. Isn't Denali where those loony bloodsucker friends of your's live?"

"That's why we're going." I finished the drawing and placed it in my pocket. "I saw Alice's vision. I noticed the Denali crest hanging on one of the walls in the cabin." As good as what Alice was, even she missed small details under stress.

"Are you saying they took her?"

"I'm saying they're involved somehow. Tanya and Kate were furious with our family for siding with your pack against their sister — our friend."

"Did you explain that the so called friend tried to kill you?" I smiled. "Obviously they're not just trying to teach you a lesson if they've notified the Volturi."

"No, and I don't think this has anything to do with what happened in Cancun either."

We crossed into Canada and I instructed him to continue until we came to the Alaskan state line. I would take the wheel from there since I knew where to go.

"Why the big secrecy?" Jacob asked. "Wouldn't it have made more sense to bring the others with us. You know, power in numbers?"

"If we showed up with an army, they would automatically think we had come to fight. That would put Bella in more danger than what she's in now. I'm going to try diplomacy first. If that doesn't work — well…."

He looked at me accusingly. "How is doing this yourself going to save Bella? If you think I'm going to stand-by while you —"

"What _you _are going to do, is get her the hell out of there." My tone had become chilly. "Listen to me very carefully, Jacob Black. The Volturi are ruthless. You're Bella's best chance of getting out of there alive. They don't know your strengths or weaknesses. They've had some problems with werewolves in the past which may keep them from you."

"I'm your wild card, is that what you're saying?" His face was set in stone. He was mentally preparing himself for the fight.

"What I'm saying is that you will be able to buy both yourselves some time. She's not going to want to leave, but you have to make her."

He rolled his eyes. "You want me to be the bad guy while you play the hero."

I turned and stared out the window trying to push away the happy memory. I didn't deserve anything happy. It seemed almost like it was yesterday when Bella and I had been in the cafeteria at Forks High — the first time we had sat together in public. She was unaware I was a vampire, but she knew there was something different about me after I had saved her from being crushed by a vehicle. She thought I was a superhero. She had been very wrong.

"I'm far from being a hero. You're going to have to be unwavering with her. No matter what she says, you have to take her south. Maybe take her back to Phoenix or someplace in southern California until this blows over."

"Why not just take her back to La Push? That's safer than any other place."

I gave him a cynical smile. "The Volturi doesn't honor the treaty, Jacob. Do you honestly think your pack would have a snowball's chance in hell against an army of vampires?" I shuddered at the thought. I knew too well what the Volturi was capable of. "Your pack would become extinct. Not only that, but a lot of innocent people would lose their life. Charlie's there. We have to keep him safe."

Jacob was quiet. I knew what he was thinking without having to read his thoughts.

"I know I'm asking a lot from you," I said. "I truly am sorry."

"She's going to hate me. She'll never forgive me if something happens to you."

"She will, eventually. She understands that whatever we do, we do it out of love for her. She won't hate you near as much as she will hate me."

Jacob pulled over at the boarder. I took over the driving and advised him to get some sleep. As I made our way to Denali, I went over every possibility — every strategy I could think of. I roll played in my mind what I would say and what they would say. I went over fighting strategies. It would be hard taking on three vampires, but not impossible. I believed I would be able to buy Jacob enough time to get Bella to safety. Christian and Tanya would be the difficult ones. I would have to take one of them out first and fast. Kate was on a balancing scale. I was almost certain that she was only following Tanya out of loyalty rather than because she thought she was right. If I killed Tanya first, that could possibly ignite a fire in Kate. However, if I killed Christian first, I could possibly win my Denali friends back over — or at least long enough to ensure Bella's well-being. If there were more Volturi than Christian….

I was still reviewing all possibilities when I pulled off the road and headed back further into the woods to the familiar cabin. I was hoping Eleazar and Carmen would know where the cabin was located. If we could find the cabin, then we would find Bella. Snow blanketed the ground. I surveyed the road judiciously as I made my way deep into the woods.

"Jacob," I said quietly. His dark eyes popped open wide and alert. "You'll need to stay in the car. I don't want to be disrespectful to friends with whom I'm seeking help by taking a smelly werewolf into their home. I hope you understand."

"Sure, sure." He stretched and leaned back in the seat. "We feel the same way about you bloodsuckers."

My senses were heightened as I approached Eleazar and Carmen's house. I picked up on Carmen's thoughts first. She was reliving a memory from many years ago in Spain. Not wanting to eavesdrop, I quickly shut the connection off. My hand was raised to knock, when Eleazar opened the door.

"Edward. I certainly wasn't expecting you. Didn't Tanya ban you and your family?" A sly grin tugged at his lips.

I returned his smile. "She did, and trust me I wouldn't endanger your allegiance if it weren't a dire emergency."

"Please, come in. You and your family are always welcome in our house. Carmen and I belong to the Denali Coven, but we do not let them dictate our lives." Eleazar gestured with a nod towards the car. "Does your friend need warmth?"

I chuckled. "No. He'll be fine."

I entered their home where Carmen greeted me with a kiss.

"I hate to be curt, but I am in desperate need of your assistance." They gave me their undivided attention. I pulled the napkin from my pocket and passed it to Carmen. "The drawing isn't very good, but I was hoping you might recognize this cabin and could tell me where it is located."

Carmen's eyes swiftly looked over the drawing and passed it to Eleazar. "If you don't mind, may I ask why?"

Without hesitation, I quickly recounted the events all leading up to Bella's kidnapping on Halloween — almost forty-eight hours ago.

"There must be some mistake." Carmen's mind reeled with confusion. "Tanya and Kate were outraged and hurt because of Irina's death, but for them to consciously request for the Volturi…that seems outlandish."

"Outlandish but not inconceivable." Eleazar's voice was smooth yet oddly disconcerting.

"You truly believe that their hatred for the Cullens would override their disdain for the Volturi? After what the Volturi did to their family?" Carmen challenged Eleazar.

He reached out and squeezed her hand. "Unfortunately the Cullens are an easier target than the Volturi. You know how vampires thrive on revenge. Even the most peaceful ones can't control the overwhelming need for retribution. What is your plan?" he asked me.

"Of course I'm going to try and talk our way out. Christian isn't the most intelligent of their guard."

His teeth glowed when he smiled. "Edward, who in this group know the Volturi better than I? You can't bargain with them. They twist the rules to fit their convenience. None of them can be trusted. Do you honestly think they will let Bella walk away knowing what she does?"

"I hadn't planned on Bella to walk away, but be carried away is more what I had in mind." Eleazar's eyebrow arched inquisitively. "The person you mistook for a human is Jacob Black."

"A werewolf?" Carmen's voice raised an octave.

"I'm hoping they will have the same reaction," I said. "While I keep the others busy, Jacob is going to get Bella as far away as possible."

"It'll never work." Eleazar's voice was sharper this time. He leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees, staring straight into my eyes. "Edward, listen to me. Tanya and Kate clearly aren't thinking straight. Not only are you going to get yourself killed, but your going to end up killing Bella and without a doubt your werewolf friend."

"All this is my fault!" I stood and paced the room. Everything suddenly became too overwhelming. I was a volcano on the verge of erupting. "If I'd just stayed away…."

A rush of cold air entered the house as the front door swung open. Jacob stood, muscles tense, at the entrance.

"I wanted to make sure you weren't being held hostage, or you know…deader than normal."

Carmen cautiously welcomed him inside. Jacob closed the door and leaned against it. Carmen and Eleazar didn't insist on him coming any closer.

"Have you not considered the aftershock in all this?" Carmen asked. "Both of your families will be endangered."

"Carmen's right. The Volturi won't just stop with you. They will claim both your families tried to instigate a war. They will accept nothing but death on all."

"These are the creatures you allow to govern your people?" Jacob asked with disdain in his voice.

Jacob's question seemed to amuse Eleazar. "Someone has to oversee our kind, or else human kind would be extinct." Jacob shifted his weight uneasily. "There are very few who are vegetarians like ourselves and the Cullens. The Volturi have been very good at handling rogue vampires. Regrettably, the Volturi are vampires, also. They suffer from the same damaging characteristics as the rest of our kind. They are selfish, self-absorbed, vain, prideful, and think of themselves as godlike — invincible."

"Why don't the rest of you fight back?"

"The last vampire war was fifteen hundred years ago when the Volturi overthrew the Romanians. Only two Romanians were able to walk away from the battle. The Volturi were lessened but not defeated."

"Why did they fight the Romanians?"

Carmen's lips were pulled down in a frown. "For the same reason you are asking us why we aren't rising up against the Volturi."

Eleazar drew a better, more illustrative map of the cabin from Alice's vision. He pointed out and described all the rooms in the house. The cabin sat on top of a hill. In front of it was forest and behind it was a river.

We left the safety of Carmen and Eleazar's cabin, and traveled by foot north towards Tanana. A couple of hours later, we were staring at the cabin which held Bella captive. There was very little activity outside, but then again they weren't expecting anyone.

"Are you ready?" I asked Jacob who was already in wolf form. He rolled his eyes and gave a sound that I guessed was a snicker.

Quickly and quietly, we made our way up the hill. The rush of the Yukon River could be heard in the distance. I picked up on the several different thoughts from inside as we approached. Kate was nervous and luckily having second thoughts. It was clear Tanya was not there because Kate was worrying about her. I caught Christian's haughty thought. It was not the best time for anger to control my emotions, so I allowed his thoughts to escape my mind. I stopped in my tracks listening to another thought. It was one I hadn't expected.

_Edward, _Jane's cool voice bounced inside my head. _I was wondering when you were going to arrive. It smells like you've brought a friend. Please, do come in. We have so much to talk about._

"They know we're here," I whispered to Jacob. He whined a response. "Whatever you do, don't piss the blond girl off." My shoulders tensed as I turned the door knob and walked inside.

Jane was sitting in a high back chair, lazily flipping through a magazine. Christian was seated at a table playing rummy with an inattentive Kate. Though I couldn't see Bella, her scent was strongly present.

I felt a small trickle of joy when Jane flinched upon seeing Jacob. "I see you've brought one of those filthy creatures with you," she said. "Caius will be interested in hearing this. Your Denali friends have told us some very interesting stories." I glanced over at Kate and she dropped her eyes to the table. "It looks as though they have been right about everything. Bella is still human and werewolves are indeed your allies. This information will not sit well with Caius — or Aro."

"Where is Bella?" I demanded.

"Christian."

Without saying a word, he rose from the table and went to one of the rooms upstairs. A moment later he returned with a trembling Bella. My eyes roamed over her body. She didn't appear to be hurt, just frightened, and honestly I couldn't tell whether seeing Jacob and me together calmed her or made her more fearful.

"You and your pet caused quite a stir in Cancun," Christian said as he picked up his playing cards and continued the game. "I'm afraid you've cost us some valuable clientele."

"I'm sure there are others who are willing to take their place," I replied. My eyes couldn't move from Bella.

"Would you care to explain why she is still human?" Jane asked. "I understood the last time we met that she was going to be changed within a couple of months. That was over a year ago. There is no denying that she is very much still human." Jane smiled and ran her pink, wet tongue over her lips.

"I guess time slipped away from us. You know how our kind has a habit of overlooking time. It seems as if we just saw each other yesterday." Slowly my nerves ignited. I clenched my teeth as my muscles tensed involuntarily.

"Don't play stupid games with me, Edward. You never had the intention of changing her, did you? And let me remind you not to lie to me again or the next pain you feel will be in your bones."

"He's going to change me," Bella blurted out. She ran to my side and grabbed me around the waist. Jacob stepped forward and yanked on her shirt with his mouth trying to pull her away. He was worried that whatever was happening to me would affect her. He didn't know Jane's power had no effect on Bella. "Something happened to my father and I couldn't leave him."

"Bella," I tried to warn her, but Jane shot another current at me sending me to my knees.

"Stop it! There is no reason for you to hurt him," Bella yelled at Jane. "He can change me now. He…he can turn me now and…and you can leave. No one has to get hurt. Please!"

The pain stopped instantly. I rose to my feet and glared at Jane. Bella's hands clutched my shirt. Her heart was hammering so hard, I worried she would break a rib.

"I told you both the last time that the Volturi doesn't like to give second chances. I'm afraid transforming you now is out of Edward's hands."

My eyes boldly met Jane's. "Before you make any drastic decisions, I think you and I should have a talk."

Christian was no longer interested in rummy. He had turned around to watch the drama unfolding. Kate, however, kept her eyes on the playing cards laid out on the table.

"I don't think there is anything to discuss," Jane said mockingly.

"Oh, I think what I have to say you'd find very amusing. Of course, if you insist, I'd be more than happy to wait and share it with Aro myself."

Jane eyed me shadily. It was a game of chess. All the pieces anxiously waited for her to make her move.

"Christian, keep an eye on the puppy. If he tries anything, don't hesitate to kill the human." Jane smiled wickedly when I flinched.

I cupped Bella's face with my hands and brushed the tears away with my thumbs. There were no words of encouragement I could say out loud. I rested my lips on her forehead and breathed in her sweet scent — the scent that still drove me crazy.

"Jacob, please don't do anything stupid," I mumbled as I pulled myself away from Bella's grasp.

Jane and I went down the hill to the Yukon River. I quickly took down a moose that had stopped to drink. She turned her eyes with disdain.

"You can't pretend that it's as satisfying as a human," she said as she looked out over the river. A few snowflakes landed on her blond head. Her ruby red eyes were clear and bright.

"No," I answered raising from my meal. "It doesn't satisfy the hunger, but it satisfy's everything else."

"What else is there?" I didn't answer. Her gentle laugh rippled in the air, then her face became stern once more. "There is nothing you could possibly say that could dig your way out of this hole. Not only did you lie about changing the human, but you've also joined yourself to our sworn enemies. You fought along side them against your own kind. Aro could possibly forgive you for the lying, but none of us will ever forgive you for treachery."

"I think you have mistaken my furry friend for one of the Children of the Moon."

"Don't play me as a fool," she spat. "I'm not blind. Even if I were, there is no mistaking his smell."

"Yet, I can assure you he is _not _a werewolf." Jane gazed at me skeptically. "He's a shape-shifter. He got injured during a fight and Carlisle treated him. There were some discrepancies with what we know of the Children of the Moon and the werewolves from La Push, so Carlisle snuck a sample of Jacob's blood and did some tests. They're shape-shifters who happen to take form of a werewolf."

"Do they know?"

"I don't think they do, and we don't want them to know what Carlisle did. It would destroy whatever progress we've made at trying to befriend them." I allowed Jane time to process the information before I audibly said what she was thinking. "Therefore, my family isn't bitter friends with our enemies. We haven't done anything wrong. I see no reason why the Volturi will side with Tanya and Kate. It would be very bad publicity if word got out to other nomad vampires and other supernaturals, that the Volturi waged war against shape-shifters because vampires were trespassing on their land."

"So, what to do with the human? Are you going to tell me she's a figment of my imagination?"

"Bella's human. Here is your problem, Jane. If you kill Bella, Aro will be furious with you. I know he wants her for himself. If she can block us while she is still human, what could she do if she became a vampire?" Jane stiffened. "If you take Bella to Aro, he will turn her. Where does that leave you? Your status will get knocked down a few notches, something you don't want to happen."

I had hit a nerve. Jane turned on me and knocked me face down. The pain was so overwhelming, I thought I was going to explode. It was as if everything inside me was being twisted and turned at all angles. I cried out in agony. She stopped just before I felt like ripping my own head off to stop the pain.

"Don't ever read my mind! I want her dead — out of the picture! But you're right, Aro would torture me, possibly kill me if I touch her. Damn Tanya to hell! I was hoping never to hear from any of you again. I was hoping you would be like a bad taste that eventually dissolved."

I had made her angry, but I had given her something to think about.

Jane crossed her arms and her brow wrinkled as she continued to think out loud. "Alec thinks we are inspecting suspicious activity in northern Alaska, but that's all he knows. Of course Felix and Christian know, but neither will turn against me. Tanya and Kate are a hindrance. I would stand a better chance of killing Tanya, Kate, the werewolf, you, and the human."

"You, too, would suffer casualties."

"But you would suffer greater. Tell me, Edward, how long do you think your pet will last? Felix and Tanya will be returning shortly from La Push. She went to show him the proof of werewolves. I hold the advantage."

"What do you want?" My voice shook with anger knowing what she was going to ask.

"Your services for their freedom."

"Aro will never believe I walked away from her so easily."

"You let me worry about that. I believe Aro will be pleased if I presented you as a gift."

I didn't doubt that Aro would be giddy to have me in his guard. He had practically been foaming at the mouth when I'd went to him a couple of years ago. I'm sure he hadn't stopped thinking of all the possibilities if he had someone like me in his guard. Plus, by me leaving, Carlisle's coven would diminish the threat Aro felt from him. But it wasn't Aro's gratification Jane was thinking about. Jane truly hated Bella.

"Having me walk away from her is going to kill her, but that's what you want, isn't it?"

Jane shrugged her shoulders. "I either take her life, or take her soul — you choose." It was her way of saying checkmate. It wasn't hard to decide that Bella was better off without me. Jane laughed at my silence. "She has way more power than I ever imagined."

When we entered the house, Felix gave a sigh of relief. He stood between Tanya and Jacob, attempting to keep the peace.

"Tanya was right," Felix said, smiling at Jane. "The Cullens have allied themselves with the werewolves."

Bella stepped forward to run to me, but Christian pulled her back. He pulled a little too hard and she yelped. Jacob growled, which caused Tanya to hiss. I lunged forward, hands extended to tear Christian's head off, when Felix intercepted me and tossed me in the air. I crashed on the table sending the stack of playing cards flying in all directions. Kate never moved. She stared at my prone body with wild eyes. Bella screamed, but I jumped up and brushed myself off to show her I was okay. Physically, there was not a mark on me.

"Everyone needs to calm down," Jane ordered. "Felix, I think we've been deceived." Intense astonishment touched Tanya's pale face. "What you observed were not werewolves, but shape-shifters who can change to the form of a wolf. They are not related to our enemies from Europe."

A gasp escaped Tanya. "That is impossible!"

"Are you calling me a liar?" Jane roared. Tanya screamed out in pain and fell to her hands and knees on the floor. Kate roused from her daze and rushed to her sister's side.

"I'm no expert on either," Felix said. "Should we take one and let Caius or Aro inspect just to make sure we aren't being deceived by someone else?" He cast his eyes in my direction.

"There is no need. I believe Edward. The fact that they change without the assistance of the moon and walk in wolf form during the day, confirms Edward has been telling the truth — unlike others who would try to make fools of us." Tanya screamed again in pain. "You tried to coax the Volturi into doing your dirty business."

"No," said Kate. "We didn't know they were shape-shifters. Honestly. But…but look. The girl is still human. Didn't he make a promise she would be turned?"

"He did, but that has been forgiven."

Kate's dark eyes darted from Jane to me then back to Jane. "Then we must be forgiven for mistaking the wolves for our enemies."

"You would think so," Jane said with a sad smile. Her remorse was an act. She was practically giddy inside. "The only problem with that is Edward had something useful to offer us that would make it easy to forgive and forget. I'm afraid you and your sister don't have that kind of appeal."

"What can he offer that we can't?" Tanya asked in a whisper.

"Himself."

A sob escaped Bella's lips. Kate and Tanya stared at me in shock.

"Your lies to the Volturi are punishable by death. Felix."

Kate's death was quick. Tanya was still staring at me when her sister's headless body crumbled to the floor. Christian moved from his spot next to Bella and assisted Felix in ripping the body apart and throwing it into the fireplace. I kept my eyes focused on Bella. She had slumped to the floor when Christian had turned loose of her arm. She couldn't look at me.

"Please, forgive me, Edward. I allowed my anger to control me. I should have never —"

Tanya's words were cut short as Felix's teeth sunk into her neck. In a matter of minutes, there was no evidence that Tanya and Kate had ever been there.

"What about the human?" Christian asked.

"I'm going to give Edward the chance to transform Bella as he should have done years ago," Jane said.

Jacob snarled.

"I'll take care of the shape-shifter, too," I said. "He and I have been wanting to fight for a very long time."

"Felix, Christian. I think I can handle it from here. It may take a few days before Bella feels like traveling. Please, let my brother know all is well." Jane opened the door to dismiss them.

Felix paused before exiting. "Are you sure you can handle this?" It wasn't my allegiance he questioned, but my ability to transform Bella — La mia cantante.

"I'll help him." Jane assured him and escorted them outside.

Bella, Jacob, and I remained motionless after they left. One small movement from me caused Jacob to spring into action. He jumped in front of Bella, hairs standing on end.

"You can stand down," I said. "I have no intention fighting you." My energy was drained. He glanced over his shoulder at a crumpled Bella. "Or cause her any further harm," I said reading his mind.

_Do we pounce on the evil chick when she comes back in? _Jacob asked, looking at the door.

"If anything happens to her, then us and everyone we love will die."

_So we do nothing? I am not going to let Bella become one of them!_

"Neither am I. That's not what she wants. Remember what I told you earlier, about where to go? I need you to do that in case this plan doesn't work out. Everyone needs to be on alert for a few months at least." How Jane expected to evade Aro was a mystery to me.

Bella could manage no more than a hoarse whisper. "It was a lie, wasn't it? You're not going to change me, are you?" she asked as she remained lifeless on the floor.

"We should have known this was never going to work — you and me. I blame myself. I've lived long enough to know it was a mistake. If I could take it all back —"

"Don't. Don't say it."

But I did.

"Bella, we can't be together. We never should have been together in the first place. I'm doing the only thing I know to do to save you."

"I'll go to Volterra myself and have Aro change me." She unsteadily rose to her feet and stumbled towards the door. "You walked away from me once, I'm not letting you walk away again."

I grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her to face me. The hurt and pain on her face was almost more than I could bear. "Please, listen to me. My life is already over. I'm already dead. You…you have so much to live for. Think of Charlie."

"Charlie has Sue now. He doesn't need me. I need you! You can't leave me again! You promised!" Tears choked her voice.

"Some promises can't be kept. Bella, I have to do this to save everyone we know, including Charlie. Do you realize if I don't do this what it would mean to my family, to your family, to the pack?"

"What about what it means to us?" Her knuckles were white from where she clung to my shirt. "We should fight. We can't let them do this to us. If you leave, I'll die. I can't go through this again. Not after everything we've been through."

I pulled her to me. I could have stayed like that forever — just me and her. I ran my fingers down her face, smelled her hair, kissed her lips, memorizing every little detail: Her heart beat, her breaths, her skin — everything.

Jane stepped back inside bringing with her a rush of cold air. A smile danced a crossed her scarlet lips. It was time for me to go.

"I'm doing what I have to do. I'll always do what I have to do to keep you safe." I brushed her rumpled hair back off her shoulders. "Promise me that one day you will forgive me," I whispered into Bella's ear. Her heartbeat was fast and sporadic.

"Please. Don't do this." Her voice was but a sigh.

As gently as I could, I uncurled her fingers from my shirt and stepped away. Jacob moved forward and caught her before she hit the floor. I needed to remove myself while I still had the courage and strength to move.

"Thank you," I said to Jacob over my shoulder. I paused at the door but couldn't force myself to look at what I was leaving behind. "Please, keep her safe and happy. You can provide so much more than I ever could."

I ran, though the echoes of Bella's screams and sobs followed me. They would follow me forever.

Once Jane and I were a good distance from the cabin, I said, "We don't want to keep the Volturi waiting. No doubt Felix and Christian will have already filled them in on your excursion." I wanted to hurry and get Jane as far away from Bella as possible in case she changed her mind.

"Only what they know. We have to make another stop before Volterra." I gave her a inquisitive look, which caused her to laugh. "Honestly, Edward. Did you think I would have agreed to all of this nonsense if I didn't already know what I know? One touch from Aro would reveal my treachery. I'm not stupid," she spat, losing her girlish charm. "It would have been easier for me to have taken out your darling pet and faced the consequences. However, I cherish my life. I've lived too long to lose it over a human."

We traveled to Cuxhaven, Germany, where we stopped in front of a small house near Kurpark. Without knocking, Jane lead me inside. One tall, slender man with golden hair nodded in her direction. He was a vampire and wasn't alarmed by our company.

"Is she in?" Jane asked.

"Where else would I be, darling?" A lady walked through a beaded curtain. She was petite with light brown hair. She smiled and gracefully walked up to Jane, embracing her. When she pulled away, she tossed me a look.

"Edward Cullen," Jane said. She plopped down in an oversized chair. The lady lifted a thin eyebrow.

_Mind reader extraordinaire. _She laughed at my perplexed look. Her laugh was eerily similar to Jane's. _You shouldn't be shocked that our kind know of your coven — the vegetarians. How noble and humane. I do respect and envy your lifestyle. If only I had such restraint. _

"Thank you," I replied.

"Do you have any idea how angry I get by being left out of a conversation?" Jane's eyes shot daggers at us.

"Control your tongue, young lady, lest you forget to whom you are speaking with." Jane dropped her eyes. "Forgive my daughter. It appears the Volturi failed to teach her manners."

I gasped. "Daughter? You are Alec and Jane's mother?"

Again she laughed. "Indeed. A well kept secret — I'm glad to know. If others knew I existed, that could be a problem."

"How could Aro not know you exist?" I asked. "If he wasn't the one who created you, then…"

"Abe. Abe was the one who informed Aro of my children's psychic abilities. Because I was older, I knew how to control mine. Aro saved Alec and Jane from sudden death, but only because he wanted their services. My husband was killed himself trying to save them and I was left tormented with grief. Anyway, Abe realized what power he had handed over to Aro. We have learned through history how one acts with so much power. Abe thought it would balance the score, and changed me himself."

"And how is it that this is kept from the rest of the Volturi? I've never heard Carlisle mention you."

"It's my special ability. I can replace your thoughts with something else — whatever else I choose."

"You're an illusionist." She inclined her head.

"We need Kendra, my mother, if we expect Aro to believe us."

"What keeps him from knowing I was here?"

Jane and Kendra shared a smile.

"I place you in a deep sleep," said Kendra. "When you wake-up, you'll never remember this conversation."

"She'll be doing the same for me," Jane said not looking too pleased with the idea. "It's important that we are on the same page."

I shook my head. "I'm still amazed that Aro doesn't know. How have you been able to keep this from him for so long?" I asked Jane, but Kendra answered.

"The mind in complicated. I'm sure there are those who, through the years, have learned to keep you out of their head? There are many facets in the mind — several places for memories and thoughts to go. They can be blocked and something as simple as a smell can retrieve them. Edward, God blessed me with twins and in that retrospect he blessed them with each other. If Alec forgets, Jane's voice reminds him. If Jane forgets, Alec's features remind her. Over a period of time, they will remember. Unfortunately, you will not. Now, what will I be doing today, darling?"

Jane briefly informed her of our situation. Kendra was intrigued about my relationship with Bella. She reproved Jane about her jealously towards Bella, which only angered Jane. I wondered if it came down to it, would Jane side with Kendra or Aro? I concluded Jane would side with whomever had the greatest chance of surviving. Jane wasn't tying up all loose ends for my benefit but mostly for hers.

Kendra rose from where she had been sitting in front of Jane, and moved behind me. She placed the palms of her hands at the back of my head over my occipital lobe. Her ring fingers massaged my temples. My frontal lobe began to throb and my head felt like it was aflame. Then there was nothing but total darkness.

It couldn't have been a dream because vampires don't sleep. It was a memory. Tanya and Kate had turned Bella over to Jane. Jane and I came to a decision that I was to transform Bella now in order to keep us safe. Once that was done, all would be forgiven. But something had gone terribly wrong with that plan.

Jacob. He chose death for Bella rather than immortality. I was frozen in shock while he ripped into her delicate neck. By the time I jumped into action, it was too late — the damage had already been done. Jane chased Jacob while I held Bella as her life slipped away.

My body jerked from the recollection. I found myself in the backseat of a limousine and glanced at the person next to me. Jane.

I glared back out the window. I hadn't wanted to be what the Volturi was. For so long, I'd tamed the monster within me. As long as Bella was alive, I was able to keep the monster at bay. Now, Bella was gone. I wanted vengeance and retribution. I would never be able to get either with Carlisle. By aligning myself with the Volturi, eventually I would be able to talk them into eliminating Jacob and his pack. I relaxed and welcomed the monster I had once feared becoming.


	13. Chapter 13 December

Chapter 13

**December**

**Chapter Notes: **"Some of us go full circle. Some of us blindly go nowhere. The circle doesn't have to be very large to make a point, kick your ass and/or be entertaining. Remember that and stay light." — Jason Mraz

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

**JPOV**

I met Captain Clyde Monroe by pure luck.

I had been all over Key West looking for work, but no one seemed to be hiring. I'd done what Edward had asked and fled with Bella to the furthest location in the United States. I spent all my money on a shabby room at a run down motel for a week. I went out the next day looking for work — anything. No one would hire me without experience. On the fourth day, I stepped into the millionth auto repair shop and spoke to one of the mechanics.

"You got experience?" Was the first thing he asked me.

"Sure, sure. I've been working on vehicles since I was a kid. I rebuilt old clunkers for a man up north and resold them."

"Yeah, and I play football outside with my kid but that don't make me no football player. Have you actually worked in an operational repair shop, one where you punch a clock everyday?"

"No, but —"

"Sorry, kid. I just don't have the capability right now to hire a newbie to train. Get some oil behind your ears and come back in a few months."

I clinched my fist in frustration. How was I supposed to get any experience if no one would hire me? I stomped back outside and took a few deep breaths. I was quickly running out of options.

"I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but did I understand that you're looking for work?"

I glanced over at the man wearing white shorts and a flowery shirt. White hair poked out from his ball cap. "Are you offering a job?" I asked.

"Maybe," he said. "You know anything about charter boats?"

"In what capacity?"

He spoke while we walked down to the marina. Captain Clyde Monroe was retired from the US Coast Guard. He and his wife moved to Florida a few years ago and had started his own business with a charter boat. After a couple of years of success, he'd purchased two more. It was just him and one of his buddies he had met while living in Key West. Business was good, but it had gotten to be a little too much for them. He was looking for someone to help maintain the boats and also help with fishing tours.

"It won't pay much. I can afford maybe ten, twelve dollars an hour six days a week. You got family?"

"Just me and my friend."

"I tell you what, think about it, then you and your friend come have dinner with us. It'll give me a chance to introduce you to my partner, Ted."

At first Bella refused. She was in no condition to put on a friendly face. It was my constant pleading that got her to go. I didn't want to leave her by herself at night.

Ted and I hit it off. They both assumed Bella was my girlfriend and I didn't disagree. I told them that she was having difficulty being so far away from home for the first time. Clyde asked where we were staying and shook his head when I told him.

"Tomorrow, hell tonight, pack your things. I have a small RV at the campground just down from Key West Marina. You can stay there for what you're paying now. It's no mansion but it beats that dump."

The next day we moved. That had been almost two months ago. Seemed like a lifetime.

"You and your girlfriend got any plans for Christmas?" Clyde asked. I was cleaning the deck of _Halosydne_ after my tour. Key West was full of tourist in December. Business was booming. Ted was visiting his family further north and wasn't going to be back until after the first. Clyde and I were busting our butts.

"We're just gonna chill."

"Christmas is a time for family. She still down in the dumps? I don't see her out much."

"She's doing okay." I lied. Bella sat like a zombie staring out the window. I tried to laugh and joke with her, but there was no response. She wouldn't move from the couch. She didn't eat much. It was just like it had been when Edward had left the first time. Nothing I said seemed to get through to her. I didn't know how much longer she or I could go on like this.

"You are more than welcome to join me and my family." I had met both of Clyde's sons and liked them. They visited when they could. One lived on the east coast in Titusville, and the other lived in Alabama. Both had wives and kids of their own.

"I'm afraid it might make her more upset. She's not really in the mood to celebrate this year. No biggie."

We hadn't bothered to decorate the small RV. No tree, no lights, no Christmas cookies — nothing.

"No need to call if you change your mind. Just come on over."

I thanked Clyde for the invitation and started back towards the camp.

I passed a few shops that were still open. It just didn't feel right not to do something traditional. I stepped in one of the boutiques to look around. Bella didn't like gifts and she wasn't the girly type, so I exited that store and went a couple of doors down. I picked up something and had it wrapped.

As usual, on my walk back to camp I replayed what happened in Alaska over in my mind. How Edward got away with not changing Bella or killing me, I didn't have a clue. Maybe he hadn't got away with it. Maybe he was dead.

Still, one thing I always got stuck on and kept going back to was what Jane had told her leeches about us. What did she mean we were shape-shifters and not werewolves? Apparently we weren't as big of a deal as some kind of creature they had dealt with overseas. It was clear Edward knew something about us that he hadn't shared. I mentioned it to Sam and he didn't seem to know anything either. Nor was he as curious about it as I was.

When Bella had asked about our traits in comparison to what Hollywood had foretold, I had laughed and told her it was inaccurate. Silver couldn't hurt us and the moon had no effect on our phasing. Yet, according to Jane (and obviously Edward) there was _something _out there in which such things did have an effect.

I slowed down a block from the campsite. My temper had begun to build. My life had been placed on spin cycle for far too long. It was time I was told the truth and there was one person I knew of who could provide answers.

I sat the package down and rooted my ass to a bench, pulled out my cell phone, and placed a call to Forks.

**APOV**

Our house had been eerily quiet since November. No one said much in passing. Though Jasper steadily tried to convince me that I wasn't to blame for what had happened, I knew the truth. What was the point of having the gift of foresight if you couldn't prevent people from getting hurt?

When Jacob had come back alone with Bella, he had refused to let us see her. We couldn't force his hand on his land. If we had, it would have caused a war which wouldn't have been the best time for either parties.

Jacob hurriedly gave us a recap of what had happened in Alaska. The Volturi with the help of our once dear friends Tanya and Kate, had kidnapped Bella. Edward had known where to find them thanks to my vision but hadn't bothered to share this information with the rest of us. The only way to get Bella out alive was to sacrifice himself to the Volturi. In short: Tanya and Kate were dead, Jacob was running away with Bella to an unknown location, and Edward was now with the Volturi.

It was Christmas Eve and the snow blanketed the ground. None of us felt like celebrating this year. There were no decorations on the front lawn, no Christmas tree in every room, no presents to be wrapped.

Jasper and I were just returning to the house from hunting. I didn't know how much more of the quietness I could take. Jasper, feeling my depression, pulled me to him.

"I think the time for mourning is over," he whispered in my ear before nipping it. I wasn't in the mood and didn't return the favor.

"I don't have to have Edward's gift to know what everyone is thinking. I dropped the ball — big time. Everything is in shambles because of me, Jazz."

"I don't know how, but they pulled the wool over your eyes, Alice. No one can blame you."

"Edward relied on me. I let him down." That's what hurt the most. He had asked me to do one simple thing, to let him know when the Volturi planned to come for Bella, and I hadn't seen them. Carlisle and Jasper agreed that something must have been used to keep their actions hidden, but there was no way of knowing for certain. I on the other hand, couldn't trust my visions or lack thereof, until I found out what they had done to me. True, I had been able to finally have the vision of where they had taken Bella, but it wasn't like my other visions. It had come with ramifications I hadn't had since becoming a vampire: A migraine the size of Jupiter.

There was anger in Jasper's voice when he said, "Edward should have told us where Bella was. If he had clued us in, things would be a lot different now. But we can't change the past."

"Shouldn't we at least be trying to do something? Demand that Edward be released back to us or…or…"

Jasper chuckled. "Or we will take down the Volturi? Carlisle knows how these guys operate better than the rest of us. He used to be one of them. Timing is everything. I learned that during the Civil War."

"But the longer we wait the further we could be to losing him. Plus, have you forgotten about Bella?"

"I'm sure Jacob's taking good care of her." I rolled my eyes. "She's safe. He won't let anything happen to her."

We walked inside the house. Bing Crosby was sinning about a white Christmas. _At least someone else besides me is tired of the silence, _I thought. We found the rest of the family in the living area sharing a glass of red wine.

"Family meeting?" I asked.

"Not an official one." Carlisle offered us a glass. We took it and sat on the sofa.

Bing moved on to sing another joyous Christmas song as conversation filled the room. Esme, Carlisle, and Rosalie discussed eastern politics, while Jasper and Emmett spoke of the upcoming college bowl games. I stared in wonder at my family acting as if everything was the way it should be.

"Are we going to pretend that there is nothing wrong here?" I jumped up from the couch. My hands formed small fist at my side.

Carlisle cleared his throat. "Alice," he said in a clear, level voice, "we have to trust that Edward knows what he is doing."

"Of course he doesn't know what he's doing," I shouted. "If he did, he would be here. Only God knows what they are doing to him. I can't bear to think…" If Edward were dead, wouldn't I have known?

"The dog said he went willingly," Rosalie said. "I don't think they would be so quick to kill him. They have rules."

"Do you honestly think they play by them?" I asked unable to hide my bitterness. Rosalie answered by diverting her eyes from my glare.

"To rush in now would be suicide." Carlisle's voice was strong but gentle. "I don't like to sit and wait any more than the rest —"

Carlisle's statement was interrupted by the chiming of the doorbell. We were all staring at each other when it sounded for the second time.

"Alice, expecting a package?" Esme asked as we followed Carlisle to the door.

"Not me. Didn't feel like shopping this year."

A rush of cold air greeted us as Carlisle opened the door. There was no mistaking she was a vampire. Her ruby red eyes shown brightly beneath her silky black bangs. We immediately took a fighting stance. She may have been smaller than I was, but I of all people knew ones strength could not be determined by size.

"Are you Carlisle Cullen?" she asked. Her voice was mesmerizing.

"Yes. And you are?"

"A messenger. Edward sends a warning concerning a human named Olivia." A growl escaped my lips at the sound of my great-great niece's name coming from the mouth of someone obviously from the Volturi. "They want someone with your ability." Her eyes briefly regarded me before turning back to Carlisle. "He needs a favor. For his selfishness, he apologizes. He wouldn't turn her over if there was any other way, but there isn't."

"Edward is going to hand an eight year old over to those monsters for a favor?" My voice was high and shook with anger and shock. "You're lying. Edward would never do such a thing."

"Our Edward wouldn't. Their Edward would," Carlisle mumbled. "Something's happened. He's not thinking sanely."

"I've done what he has asked. You've been warned."

"Where —" Before Carlisle could finish his question, the vampire messenger disappeared. A cloud of snow swirled in her wake.

"Trick or truth?" Rosalie asked as we walked back into the living area.

"What would be the trick?" Jasper asked. He placed his arm around my waist to pull me closer to him.

"Maybe they want us to focus all our attention on Olivia while they attack us from behind," Emmett suggested.

"I sensed she was telling the truth. I believe Olivia is in trouble," Jasper said.

"I won't let them have her. They can't take her, Carlisle." I swallowed the venom that had leaked into my mouth.

"I wonder what kind of favor would make Edward do such a thing?" Esme asked to no one in particular.

"Who knows where his mind-set is right now." Carlisle reached out and squeezed her hand. "This changes everything. We're going to have to split up into groups. Jasper, Alice, and Emmett, I want you three to guard and watch over Olivia. Esme and Rosalie, I want you both to stay here in case there is trouble with the Quileute."

"You can't be serious," Rosalie spat. "I hate those mongrels just as much as they hate me. They won't ask for my help no matter how much the odds are stacked against them."

Carlisle's voice was patient when he explained. "They are at odds with each other right now. Some don't want our help, while there are those who do. I have given my word to Embry Call that we would assist them if they come under attack by our kind, whether Volturi or some other vampire."

"What will you be doing?" Jasper asked.

"I think Eleazar and I should pay a visit with our old friends. I need to find out what kind of verbal agreement Edward and the Volturi have made. Maybe our past relations will mean something to them and we can find a way out of it."

"And if you can't, are we willing to take it to the next step to save him?" Jasper asked the million dollar question. Would this mean war between us and them? Our chances didn't look good if it came to that.

"I don't think it's as cut and dry as that, Jasper. There are many avenues we must consider. This is a delicate situation."

Carlisle opened his mouth to speak again but was interrupted by the ringing of his cell phone. He glanced at the number displayed before answering. "Dr. Cullen." Suddenly, his brows drew together in concern.

**LPOV**

I sat on the driftwood watching the dark waves crash to the shore — the cold wind drying my soaked hair. The beach was abandoned except for myself and Eli, whom I had left out in the ocean. My heart and mind wasn't into surfing today. In fact, my heart and mind hadn't been into much of anything for the past two months outside of the drama going on around me.

After Queen Bella was abducted Halloween night, King Edward dragged Jacob off to search for her. During the time they were gone, Embry caught a whiff of another set of vampires. Instead of first going to Sam with the information, he told Carlisle. They investigated the area together, and although there was a trace of other vampires, they were no longer in the area.

Paul, being Paul, made a big deal about Embry consulting the leeches first instead of our alpha Sam. Sam took charge and jumped on Embry for not going through chain of command.

"I'm not in the damn service, Sam," Embry said through clenched teeth. Who likes getting yelled at in front of everyone? "I thought we were all working together."

"I don't trust those bloodsuckers," Sam heatedly replied.

"They haven't given us any reason not to trust them."

"Are you freaking blind?" Paul jumped in the argument. "You're an idiot if you don't think they had anything to do with what happened back in April." Every chance Paul got, he always brought up the incident where our pack was targeted and attacked. He still stood by his belief that the Cullens were somehow involved even though we all would have died without their help.

"What you probably smelt was some of their buddies — waiting to attack once our guard is down," Jared said. He always seemed to side with Paul.

"Divide and conquer." Paul agreed.

"You know, Paul, the way you're always looking for a reason to prove the Cullens untrustworthy, almost makes me wonder if your not behind some of these strange occurrences." Quil's eyes narrowed on Paul.

Paul shook with rage on the verge of phasing.

"Paul, calm down," Sam yelled.

"Are you standing up for Quil?" Jared asked. He grabbed Paul by the arm and pulled him back. "Seriously? He accuses one of our own, and you take up for him?"

"I'm not taking up for anyone!"

"Obviously," Jared mumbled.

Paul settled down, but an invisible line had been drawn in the sand: Paul and Jared on one side — Quil and Embry on the other. The rest of us were in limbo, not sure where to stand. Our unit was splitting. Something we couldn't afford to happen. If Sam didn't take control soon, we would be at war with ourselves.

"When Jacob returns —"

"_If_ Jacob returns," Paul sneered interrupting Sam.

"_When _he returns," Sam said more firmly eyeing Paul, "we cut all ties with the Cullens. All favors are paid for. I don't care what else happens — we're done."

Jacob did return but only briefly. Sam gave us Jacob's report. It wasn't good. The Volturi knew about us and we knew from the Cullens that they weren't to be trusted. For that reason, Sam wanted twenty-four hour surveillance. Tension was at an all time high.

I watched as Eli paddled his way back into the ocean to catch the next wave. There was a feeling of being watched from behind. I glanced over my shoulder to see Sam heading in my direction. _Great_.

"I need you to do the next shift with me." Sam stood a couple of feet behind me.

"It's my day off. What's wrong with Jared?"

"Something came up with Kim's family. Paul and Collin are finishing their shift. Embry and Quil aren't here."

I turned my attention back to Eli who had caught a wave and was riding it back towards the shore.

"So I'm just supposed to drop everything I had planned because Kim's family is more important?"

"Not that I should have to tell you, but a family member of hers passed away." He was so quiet that if it hadn't been for the heat radiating from his body I would have thought he had left. "It's not a request, Leah, it's an order. Meet me in twenty."

I growled in response though it did not good.

Eli emerged from the salt water, smiling. He jogged up to where I was sitting, stuck his surfboard in the sand, and plopped down next to me. His long black hair was pulled back into a ponytail, dripping wet. His wetsuit molded to his muscular body.

"Water too cold for you?" Eli joked. I chuckled in response. "Was that Sam with you?"

"Yeah. Uh, something's come up. I'm gonna have to cancel tonight." We had made plans to have Christmas Eve dinner alone.

The gold in his hazel eyes sparkled when he turned his attention away from me to gaze at the ocean.

"Sure."

"It's not what you're thinking." My words came out a little too harsh.

He didn't turn to look at me as he said, "I'm thinking what kind of message was it that Sam delivered that could make you suddenly change our plans. Leah, since I've returned from Berkley, we've haven't spent more than three days together. I haven't prodded, but when you ditch me for your ex on Christmas Eve, what am I supposed to think?"

How was I supposed to respond to him? If I admitted that he was my imprintee (which I wasn't ready to do) then he would know everything eventually. What I feared was that I was falling for him like Jacob had fallen for Bella. I couldn't tell whether my feelings for Eli was out of lust or something deeper. Until I knew, he had to be kept in the dark of what I was. Now wasn't a good time for him to know about my other life. What would he do if he found out his girlfriend was a real bitch?

"Leah, you're a different person here than what you were over fall break at Berkley." He stood and grabbed his board. "When your calendar clears give me a call." He jogged back into the water and never looked back.

I rose from the driftwood and headed towards the woods to start my duty. The snow didn't slow me down. Once I was out of eyesight, I picked up speed and let my inner wolf loose.

_I'll talk _—"

_Stay out of my business, Sam! _Now wasn't the time for me to think about my love life, or lack thereof. Instead I turned my thoughts towards the classes I would be taking in January, Seth's health, Mom and Charlie's happiness, Jacob's jam, the pack's disorder (Sam didn't like to hear), I thought of everything but the one thing I really wanted and needed to think about — Eli Marshall.

A gust of wind blew south and the smell caused my nose to sting.

_Vampire, _I called to Sam as I began the chase.

**EPOV**

I stared at the blank pages trying to think of something to write. For once, I was without words. Either that or the pen was cursed and wouldn't write. _Not the pen, me. _I had been cursed since the day I was born. I seemed to take those around me down, too. I placed the journal back on the bookshelf. It reminded me too much of a previous life. God, had it only been just last month? Though the pain was still fresh every time I had thought about it, it seemed like Bella had died ages ago.

"Edward, the feast is about to begin. Will you be joining us?"

I turned to greet Jane. There was something unusual about how she had been treating me since I'd joined the Volturi. Maybe it had been at Aro's command, but her cordial attitude towards me always kept me alert. I was no fool. The Volturi couldn't be trusted.

"I think I'm going to pass, thank you." It was useless for me to attempt to avoid their lifestyle. I didn't satiate on human blood; however, I needed it to stay alive. And staying alive was what I planned on doing at least until I could avenge Bella's death. I would touch each mind briefly and pick the vilest among the group to feast on. It still wasn't right, but considering the alternative it was the best I could do.

"You may think you're being chivalrous by not joining us but you must know, Edward, that they all die in the end. Animals were put on the earth for humans, humans were put on the earth for us. You see how this cycle works? Why torture yourself for them? You wait until you can barely stand before you eat. You're beginning to piss Caius off."

"What concern is it of yours?"

"You are one of us now. You are part of the guard. You're one of Aro's most valuable pieces."

"He sent you to check on me." Her anger gave me a reason to smile; something I rarely did these days. She hated it when I read her mind.

A tense smile formed on her lips. "I won't stoop to your level. Not here. Eat or starve, I could care less. The longer you alienate yourself, the more Aro will wonder where your loyalty lies."

"I can assure you, the Volturi has my allegiance." _For now, _I thought to myself.

She studied my face for a moment, envying me of my talent. "Very well. I'll tell him you will join us next time." There would be no declining the invitation for their next feast.

"Thank you," I said as Jane closed the door to my quarters.

Silence fell. I glanced around the gloomy room. It was mine but held nothing of personal value. I had not brought anything from Forks with me. That was my old life. All those useless years of playing human. I sighed and left the room.

I moved down the dimly lit hallway away from the exuberant voices coming from the banquet room. I made my way to the south wing of the underground fortress, and slipped inside the only room I had found to keep me somewhat grounded. In the middle of the room sat a grand piano. I sat down, placed my fingers on the cold ivory keys, closed my eyes, and began to play.

It was in this room, sitting at this instrument, where I felt remotely alive. The place I had found light where there had been only darkness. This room had become my haven.

I stopped in the middle of Mahler's Symphony No. 3 and immediately began Mozart's 'Dove sono'. The voice that accompanied me was like heaven.

I met Amelia a week after I had arrived in Volterra. She had been changed at the age of twelve during the 1800s. Aro had heard her sing and had to have her. He lured her with promises of a life beyond her understanding. Once she joined the Volturi, she was placed in the south wing and only called upon during special occasions or when they were feeling studios. That was why I had used her; I knew I could trust her and no one would wonder where she had wandered off to.

"I figured you'd be here." Her voice was as soft as a whisper when she spoke, unlike her voice when she sang.

I turned and smiled. "Did you have any trouble?"

"Your family was very receiving…well, except for the short one." Amelia calling Alice short was amusing since she was shorter than her. "They seemed very concerned about you."

My smile faded. I missed my family but there was nothing they could do for me now. They wouldn't agree with my need for vengeance. Breaking the treaty would cause war between them and the Quileutes. Carlisle always wanted to avoid bloodshed. The Volturi was different. I was going to place all my chips on that variation.

My eyes narrowed on Amelia. "You could have been hurt."

She dropped her eyes to the floor. "I couldn't help my curiosity. I've never seen one."

After she had left my family, she had stopped by La Push hoping to see my enemies.

"And I see you weren't disappointed."

"Two were sniffing around as if they were expecting something. I wasn't able to stay long."

_They should be on alert, _I thought to myself. "You didn't engage them, did you?"

She smiled wickedly — not an easy act on a cherub face. "I played with them. I made her think she was going to catch me, then doubled back and back again. Stupid dogs."

Leah. She was the only female shifter I knew of.

"Thank you. I'm in your debt."

"You're my friend, Edward. No payback is necessary. It's nice to actually be useful. I've been so bored." Her lips formed into a pout.

I thanked her again then headed back to my room. Warning the Cullens was a way to clear my conscience. Since meeting Alice, Aro wanted her for her psychic ability. During a trip to Mississippi, she met her surviving relatives and found Olivia who possessed the gift of foresight. My plan was simple: Give information about Olivia to Aro in exchange for assistance in taking out the shape-shifters. Once I held Jacob Black's silent heart in my hand, I would then do the unthinkable and single handedly engage war with the Volturi which would without a doubt lead to my demise.

I closed the door behind me and pulled the journal out again. This time, words quickly fell on the pages. My plan was brilliant and foolproof. There was nothing or no one who could stop me.

**BPOV **

Nothing seemed to matter anymore. Life went on around me but I was still stuck in the past. Every minute of every day I replayed my last moments with Edward thinking that maybe I'd get lucky and something would change, but it never did. I napped during the day and stayed up waiting for him at night. How much more my mind, body, and soul could take…I didn't know. How my heart steadily beat was a mystery to me. With all the cracks and bruises, it should've stopped the moment Jacob grabbed me and fled from the cabin in Alaska.

I thought about all the months I'd wasted. If I hadn't been so stupid, if only I would've been stronger, if I hadn't been so childish, selfish, stubborn…if, if, if. My sanity was crumbling. _I can't do this, _I panicked. _I can't keep existing knowing he's out there — knowing who he's with. It's driving me mad!_

I knew where the last separation had taken me. How low I had stooped for just a glimpse of him. But this time was different. It wasn't like he didn't want to be with me. I knew he did. It was the fact that he couldn't. I had placed him in this situation by delaying our wedding, then stalling in our relationship. If it hadn't been because of me, he wouldn't be lost. We would be together like it was meant to be.

"_Bella, we can't be together. We never should have been together in the first place." _

His words stung as they bounced around I my already jumbled, messed-up head. He had been wrong, of course. But now all was lost. I had lost him and lost myself in the process. Jacob thought he could repair me. Unfortunately only one person could save me from myself and the Volturi wasn't about to let that happen.

The Volturi. Their name caused hatred to fill my innermost being. My face heated with anger. They were the reason for my pain. I tried to picture Edward with them and I cried out at the vision. He was always worried about being a monster. There would be no escaping now. I had Jacob to keep me semi grounded. He had no one. No one he could talk to. No one he could lean on.

Tears dampened my face. How did we get here? There was only one thing I knew of that would keep me sane. One solution to end all suffering in one form or another.

I shook myself from my comatose state. It was Christmas Eve. My eyes roamed around the dull camper. For the first time since Halloween, I was able to stand and move with purpose, being driven by hope.

I showered, dressed, and stepped into the blinding sun. Christmas in Florida reminded me of Phoenix except for the palm trees and ocean. I walked, unafraid to make eye contact with strangers. I was in no danger of meeting a vampire here.

The market was busting with shoppers doing last minute desperation grabs. I went to the deli and got one of their smoked hams and picked up some potatoes and ingredients for a fresh salad. As I headed home, I saw a display of white blinking lights and picked them up as well.

Once back at the house, I quickly put the potatoes in the oven, tossed the salad with fruit, and wrapped the lights around the planted palm, which sat in the corner of the living room in the small RV.

As the sun began to set, I heard Jacob's heavy footsteps coming up the gravel walkway. He came inside and paused. His dark eyes rested on the lighted palm then continued to search the room until they landed on me in the kitchen.

"What's all this?" he asked as a smiled played across his face.

"It's Christmas." Feeling a little embarrassed about my state of mind over the past couple of months, I shrugged my shoulders and turned my back to him. "You deserve more for putting up with me, but since I waited too long there wasn't much left. You know how last minute shoppers are."

"Sure, sure."

He squeezed by me in the kitchen on his way to the bathroom to cleanup. He smelt of fish and sea. I continued to slice the ham and take the potatoes out of the oven. I fixed my plate and took a seat on the couch. Jacob rumbled around in the kitchen a few minutes then joined me. A moment of silence passed between us.

"This is good." Jacob chewed on a hunk of ham.

"I can't take credit for it. I got it from the market."

"No, not the ham. You. You know, speaking and moving. What happened?" It was such a simple question but required such a complex answer.

I took a deep breath. Jacob was going to be my first battle in the war I was in. I had to get past him and I knew he wasn't going to make it easy for me. Before I could speak, I noticed a pink shine near the palm. A box wrapped in red paper sat next to the potted plant.

"Please tell me you didn't get me a present."

Jacob set his plate down and hurried off the couch. He was by the palm and had the present in in his hand in two steps.

"Don't panic. It's nothing like I got you last year." He set the box on the coffee table in front of me. "It's actually something both of us can use. Go ahead — open it."

I peeled the paper off while Jacob sat next to me watching my reaction. I stared at the box in utter disbelief and confusion.

"You bought me a blowup punching bag…of a clown?"

"I bought _us _a bop bag. It's plastic so when it pops back up it won't hurt you. I thought this might be a way for you to let out some anger accident free."

"I should've at least sent out Christmas cards," I said still staring at the clown box.

"I took care of it."

"Huh. Of course you did. Everything is always taken care of before I even know what's happening." The anger I felt earlier began to rise again. "Everyone is always doing what they think is best or safest for me without bothering to get my input."

"There wasn't time for a social get together," Jacob said softly. "And you _are _the human in the group. The one most likely to get killed."

"I don't have to be human. I don't want to be human. I should've been turned last year."

Jacob jumped up from the couch. "Here we go again." He ran his big hands through his short, thick hair. "Bella, have you thought that maybe all this happened for a reason? Maybe, just maybe, God is trying to get it through your thick head that you aren't meant to be with Edward." I winced at the sound of his name. When Jacob spoken again, his tone was gentler. "You two have hit one brick wall after another. This was the final straw."

I shook my head in defiance. "I can't believe that. Sure, we've had obstacles —"

" 'Obstacles' would be an understatement."

"—but we've always managed to find each other again," I said, ignoring Jacob's scoffing. "It's time I quit wallowing in self pity." I stood up and turned to face Jacob who was standing at the counter picking at the ham. "I'm going to bring him home."

Jacob stopped chewing and stared at me. "What do you mean 'bring him home'?"

"I'm going to Volterra. I'm going to save him."

"You can't be serious, Bella. If you show your face to any one of those bloodsuckers, you're as good as dead."

"You don't understand, Jake. I'm dead now." My voice broke. "Either way I'm going to die."

"Sure, it hurts now, but eventually you'll make it through. You did the last time."

I let out a short, bitter laugh. "I was a wreck. Have you forgotten the lengths I went to just to hear his voice or catch a glimpse of his ghost?"

"No, I haven't forgotten. Nor have I forgotten how you started smiling again, joking again, living again like a normal person should." His dark eyes blazed with sudden anger. "He has done nothing but cause you pain and endanger your life, yet you still can't seem to let him go. I've been there every step of the way. I'm the one who's here now, yet I'm not enough for you. Why is that?"

I stalled at seeing the pain in his dark eyes and on his face.

"It's nothing I can explain, Jake." My gaze dropped to my hands. "I love you. I do. But it's not in the same way I love him. I can't live knowing that he gave himself over to those…creatures for me."

"You're crazy if you think I'm going to let you go."

"You can't watch me twenty-four seven." I stiffened my shoulders and glared at him. "I'm going with or without your help. I'm not a prisoner. I can go if I want to."

"What's your plan?" he asked crossing his arms over his broad chest.

"I-I haven't figured that out yet," I stammered.

"How are you going to get past their guard?" I opened my mouth and closed it. "If you do get in, how are you going to get out? How long do you think you will make it before they track you down — Charlie down? The rest of the Cullens, what about them? The Volturi will retaliate and it won't be pretty. They won't stop, did you think of that?"

"Okay. So my plan isn't ironclad."

"You don't have a damn plan," his voice rose causing me to jump. He shut his eyes. He took several deep breaths to calm the rage within him. "We don't know what kind of agreement he made with those leeches. What if he can't leave? All it will take is them knowing you're there and they will kill you. He'll try to stop them and they will kill him, too. I'm not going to let you walk to your death."

"This time the choice isn't yours or his. It's mine."

We stared at each other. Neither of us budging. Suddenly, he sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

"You are the stubbornness person I know."

"Have you looked in the mirror lately," I mumbled.

"We've got to have a some sort of a plan, no matter how screwed up it may be," he said. "We're dead if we attempt this alone. We're going to need all the help we can get. I found out that Carlisle has some information about a group of…others who may be willing to help." A grin spread across his face. "They're no fans of the Volturi either."

My eyes widened in alarm. "You…you are not coming with me. I'm not going to risk any more lives."

"This choice thing works both ways, Bella. If you go in alone, we might as well have your funeral now. That's not gonna happen." He walked around the counter and took my pale hands into his tan ones. "I couldn't live with myself knowing I let you freely walk into a lions den. If you die, I die beside you. And I'm gonna take some of those bloodsuckers with us."

"You're willing to die for us?"

"For you."

I took in a shaky breath. "I guess we've got some planning to do." It wasn't going to be easy. I knew lives would be lost: Family, friends, mine.

Since meeting Edward, I've given much thought on how I would die. I'd made a decision that it was a good way to die in place of someone else, someone I loved. But I wasn't planning on dying and I wasn't going to die without a fight.

**End Notes: **There will be a sequel to follow, _Evolution, and it will be a new story. Thank you._


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